Anxiety Daily Check-In Point #3

It's the same with me, too. And also after I returned to NYC from traveling.

I feel better today. I didnt wake up with a racing heart and a nauseous feeling. I got out and swam for a while yesterday and that put me at ease. Ive also not had to hear about my sister's 4th of July plans, which helps a ton.

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I'm really anxious because I'm paranoid I'm being chased.

Having some chest/ muscle pain. Generally a 5 and half on anxiety scale. Trying to not think about worry making things.

What do you imagine will happen because you are chased? I mean, what's your script for the anxiety attack? is when you are out or when you are at home?

I imagine I will be hurt again. I'm an abuse survivor. Sometimes something triggers it other times it's just random. It happens both when I'm out and at home.

Do you have a safe place inside your house? A way to close everything around you or hide like closing the door with a lock and put a weight in it? A secret place? Space where you cannot be found or that can be breached? I'm not an abuse survivor or well, I survived plenty of physical abuse and even when he was gone he beat me up twice when he entered our house with copied keys but you might have survived a hell that I can't even imagine and I'm so awed by it.

It helped me to close my door with a safe and a lock here and in my apartment to sleep and to buy a barrete. I think for some time I would hide in my closet and made myself a taco and imagine that it was impenetrable. I used to hide a kitchen knife for months in the case of burglary (which was another way to think of my father?

Do you have a pet near you? A Big dog? Or a weapon, like a pepper canister that you can have near you and use it as a pillar to concentrate your emotion?

How do you experience this sudden fear? For me, it was paralyzing sensation and a sense of falling down when I was a teenager. Afraid of ghosts and creepies when I was in university and I NEEDED to be in closed places, everything locked and with a loud noise to feel calm again. To know that my fridge and everything was so full and prepared that I could survive in my apartment for a full week without ever having to go out.

Thank you for the suggestions! I have a dog but she's a little thing.

I feel miserable. So anxious today. All my coworkers are out for a training today, so I'm covering a bunch of their stuff that has to be done. I don't know how I'm going to make it. I threw up this morning already, and I'm starting to feel like I could again. I don't know how to do this.

I have stomach pains over going to therapy today. Ugh, why does it have to raise my anxiety so much.

I've already been through 2 of the 3 groups I have to cover today. Right now I have about 45 min before the last one, so I can't let myself relax yet. I guess so far it's been ok, but I think my anxiety is pushing me to partially dissociate. And I guess partially dissociated me has a bit of a Southern accent, even though I've spent my whole life in the midwest. The biggest problem today is working with clients who I don't usually see. When they tell me that they like me better than my coworkers, I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong.

It looks like I'll have no trouble renewing my drivers license tomorrow at Triple A. But they don't do the scary ones, the "verified". Those verified licenses are Federal ID's. If you get a verified one, they put a gold star on your licence.

Everyone should be scared by that, not just me.

for the past few days, i've been trying to build up my courage to ring turn to me (it's an irish support helpline), sort of like samaratans, but it's irish and it's.. well, it's not.

can't seem to do it though- managed to dial the number yesterday and as soon as i heard it actually works and it rang, i hung up.

i also need to sort out my bank details with my tv company.. i have no idea what i'm doing!

and day 4 without being able to leave my room

ugg

Why am I so afraid to go to these appointments today? I'm so scared. Oh my God. Why? There's nothing to be afraid of. Waiting is always an issue there, though. And then the triple a office. All this just because I have to go somewhere. Oh my God.

And my friend told me I look even fatter now. Well, i have been food binging for a few months now and I don't purge after binging so I guess it's more visible. I may have added 10 pounds. I don't want to add weight but I eat out of boredom as well as emotional eating.

Why does he care, anyway, though. It's not like anyone ever really sees him with me.

ETA I wish that freak downstairs hadn't trespassed in my apartment. I want my two 30 watt isticks back but the pos probably took them to the nearest pawn shop for breakfast money. I hate their entrails.

Fear. Just in fear mode. A lot is ahead of me. Getting help in the form of therapy and a pdoc. Never have seen a pdoc before. Just fearful.

My friend left a few minutes ago and now my TV is off and the cable box is unresponsive. I really depend on the light from the TV screen, as weird as that sounds. So what did I do to it? I'm too sick from acid reflux right now to try to work on it. I will call the cable company in awhile I guess.

I'm just pooped after this day. Too much waiting in the waiting area. I feel like just going to sleep now. So exhausted. I can't drink any juice. The acids would make the relux unbearable.

Need to learn how to manage this anxiety. Tired.

My entire body is aching and hurting. Whatever it did to my rib cage, i wonder if I have cracked ribs. My teeth are hurting a lot too, and the acid reflux is the worst it has been in 4 months. I never even had it before March, i don't think. I'm so tired but I don't know if I can sleep. I'm so tired. Oh please don't let my ribs be cracked.

I feel so sick to my stomach. Oh my God. All this pain plus anxiety. My stomach is so sick.

Nervous because I might need to go to the doctor for this pain and I'm nervous to.