Anxiety Daily Check-In Point #3

I hope you find some!!!

I have a great deal of anxiety this morning. I've mentioned already we may have a postal strike in Canada which may come as early as Monday. I, however, have a few very important items of mail somewhere in the system that I absolutely need - like money that will get me through the month.

They have changed up the bus routes of the city transit system and I am anxious about my ability to get around.

I have a holiday planned and I am on pins and needles that something will come up to cancel it.

Took my dog to the vet today and it gave me stomach pain out of anxiety. Crazy, my dog should have been the only nervous one. I just wasn't in the mood to talk to the vet plus I was a little worried about my baby. She just has a yeast infection, she'll be fine.

Extra bad day. Panic. Overwhelming, unreasonable fear. Delusional thinking that dreams have some larger meaning. I took a med. I am telling myself dreams are not significant. I am so afraid for no reason. BP +BPD delusional thinking + panic = just a terror day of still, silence while the darkness passes - and I remain unseen - that is the solution. Effects how I breath, and how much I feel like I can move around. (safety lies in stillness).

I know I am not alone, because you all experience this too. <3 hugs to us all. We get through alot.

This too shall pass.



(mantra= it will go away, it will go away, it will go away, it will go away)

I am doing far better. I'm a little irritable but that seems to be of late a normal state for me. Still, I do not have the anxiety about the mail/cheque situation. What's done is done. I have done everything that could have been done and resolved a big portion of the problem. I can't control the rest. I can only do my best to plan/budget accordingly. As for the quaterly benefit, I need to get out of the habit of counting on/assuming it will come and budget as per normal - and definitely never ever spend the money before I get it.

Very anxious today. We're going to my cousin's house warming party, which is 2 1/2 hours away. I'm so worried about the drive. I hate being on highways as it is, and on this drive we'll be passing the spot where I was in a bad accident once. I'm not sure how it'll affect me now, but I'm already anxious about it. Normally I wouldn't drive on a trip like this, but my boyfriend has already made it sound like he'd rather be the navigator while I drive. Going to have to take some of my pills with for this.

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All night I was telling myself I'd be able to sleep in the morning, yet here I am, unable to sleep. I want to but I have akathisia. And if I take a sleep pill now I will not be able to get to sleep tonight.

I have some TV I want to see later. Does The Walking Dead come back on tonight?I'm not sure what I should do. Take a pill and set the alarm? (I'll never be able to stay up, probably.) I don't know but I'm having some building anxiety. :/

Been pretty anxious lately but throwing myself further into fitness so I can not only keep myself busy (distracted) but also have a solid outlet for the stress. Pretty anxious so far today. x_x Probably should get off these forums because they often make me anxious. xD

I took a pill around an hour ago but now it is not making me fall asleep. I thought it would definitely work but it's not! I hate being awake like this. I often (always?) get amnesia after I take one of those and before I get to sleep. I wake up, and there's weird things, like when I fell off the bed, or when I woke to see two of my phones stacked up on the floor, right in all the old ashes and dust and dirt. I would never stack my phones there like that, so it's still a total mystery.

I get amnesia and now I can't even sleep.

Oh, maybe it's because I haven't been taking the Vistaril! I've been taking benadryl for the RLS, and skipping the Vistaril. So Benadryl works differently and I think I'd better still take the Vistaril and then it will knock me out.

Of course. I knew the two meds (tizanidine 4mg and Vistaril 50mg) blended perfectly, yet I still forgot it. If only I didn't get RLS.

very anxious lately I don't even want to go out which is probably a good thing because at least at home I'm not shopping or spending money to feed my manic behaviors.

Scared out of my mind right now.

I have no idea what the future holds for me. This constant unknowing is frightening.

What's going on?

Thanks for the hug. I think you saw my post about it the the Roll Call 80 Thread in the Schizophrenia and Psychosis forum. But I'll post again for others to see. I have PTSD but I also get voices in my head. I'm not sure if I am having flashbacks or just having the voices. I'm hoping it's voices because if it's flashbacks it would mean I'm not safe in my own home.

But if it's flashbacks, where would you be safe? Not anywhere, right? I'm just trying to understand, i know how annoying that can be. It seems to me that the voices can pretty much be treated with meds, like I have. Maybe that would help, to see if it's voices. The problem is that it can take several weeks on an ap med, to see a change.

Sorry, I didn't explain that well. The reason I wouldn't be safe in my own home is because it's thoughts of my dad abusing me and I still live with my parents. I do take an anti-psychotic already (Geodon). Seems to help somewhat. Doctor didn't seem to want to up it last time I saw her.

Oh, I see. Is there any chance you could move out? I can't even imagine having to live with my parents after the childhood I had. I was eager to get away from them and only lived with them about 2 or 3 months after my then-roommate tried to kill himself. So except for then, I was away from my parents by the age of 18. I recommend it! Even if you have to have roommates, it's better than to live with an abuser.

I don't have a lot of money, I don't think I'd be able to make ends meet. My parents still pay for my food and clothing. I get SSI plus I make a little extra money buying things cheap and reselling them on Ebay, but that's my whole income. I qualify for section 8 affordable housing but it's going to be about 4 years until my number is up. I don't have any real life friends so I don't know where I'd find people to live with. I guess if I keep selling stuff on Ebay and saving up I could move out sooner rather than later but it's not as if I can just move out tomorrow. Thank you for trying to help me.

Yw. The things I was able to do to be free of my parents probably have a lot to do with my living close to a big city where there were lots of job opportunities. I just barely earned enough to pay my own rent, etc. I think things are more complicated now.

no one here is a burden to me

for the last few days (or maybe 2) i've had this feeling that everything/ everyone is out to get me and turn against me

paronoya... blah

I have to leave the house today so my anxiety will continue to rise as the time gets closer & closer.

Today we are being observed to make sure we're following the contract for our strictest program. I'm terrified. I already feel such little confidence in my work, I really don't want an outside person watching me do it. I wish I knew how all this was going to happen, not knowing makes me worry more.

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Feeling much less anxious today. I must have just been paranoid yesterday. I think this sums up yesterday well:

My anxiety has been a little worse since yesterday. Maybe because I'm more off schedule with my meds, and maybe I need more Cogentin. My pdoc didn't want to up my dose on that, though. I'm really scared.

I feel like I'm aging extremely fast and there's no turning back from that. I wish I could fast forward, since I can't set back the clock.

Every bad thought I've had about myself keeps popping into my head and I just wish I could erase myself.