Anxiety Daily Check-In Point #3

Went to the bank today, so I got out again. Little short trips seem to be working fine.

My peapod order came so now I don't have to worry about that! I bought mostly fluids. Like 6 or 8 gallons of fluids. I feel so guilty about that because I hate for someone to have to do that, but at least it's done for today.

today i seem to be anxious for no reason at all

this is happening more and more often

I'm a diligent worker and I always try my best and pick up on things rather quickly. But that has also been leading to a downward spiral. I was just relocated without much of a choice and very little notice. And on top of that, more work has been piled onto an already intense workload. I'm unhappy, close to burning out and generally uncaring about showing up on time. I've been dealing with anxiety over this new situation for the last few weeks, but today is especially tough. I have the biggest urge to just jump up and bolt out of this office, uncaring of the consequences. I've medicated but my stomach is still rolling and my chest feels light because of my heart rate trying to climb. I'm so tired of feeling scared.

I'm feeling so anxious for school tomorrow. It's introduction week. Tomorrow is the second day of that. I don't belong there. I never belong anywhere. I want to stay home, but I can't do that.
When will things ever get better.

Had the mowers out today and the noise was nerve-wracking. Otherwise an ordinary day.

I'm getting freaked out and upset about my teeth and what could happen due to their abysmal condition. I'm so upset.

Well apparently this week is not a good one for my anxiety. Depression is taking a slight back seat and I'm kind of grateful because I'd probably be crying on the floor of my office bathroom.

I hate this job. It is unfulfilling. I don't interact with people and have neither the time nor energy to. The fact that I absolutely have to is driving me close to insanity with irritation and fear. My stomach is so uneasy that I feel nauseous and I'm starting to get dizzy. I want to quit. I want to run far away. I'm looking for other opportunities but they aren't happening quickly enough. Looks like I'm headed for nervous breakdown #3 within the span of a single year. I want nothing to do with anything at all right now.

I'm so sorry to hear that. :/

........

Today was okay. Had to deal with an HVAC repairman that liked to talk, but the A/C is fixed for now.

I am cooking a large meal for a large family group tomorrow. Must be a sign of my good health that I have no sense of worry over this. So, what is the source of my anxiety? I am actually anxious about whether I can find all the ingredients today. Also, my step-mom is blowing her own anxious gasket about everything being perfect. I am growing impatient and am feeling anxious about her behavior.

today is a mish mash of anxiety on and off as usual.

I used to check in in the depression board, back when depression was my primary concern. These days, it seems anxiety is worse than depression. Probably because I have a happy little life now, and I'm alway so afraid of losing it. Today is no different.

Made it to my therapy appointment. My old therapist left to pursue another career opportunity. It sucked, because I'd gotten comfortable with her, but my new one seems nice enough. Provided I can make it to med management next week... I'll be trying medication. Hopefully they can find one that's safe while breastfeeding, and doesn't cause sleepiness (I really cannot afford to sleep seeing as I have an infant). She wants me to do homework journals to find my anxiety triggers. I like that idea. I think I can keep seeing her. She seems like someone I might click with.

Anxiety was worse yesterday, but it's there today. Looming in my mind. I always find myself thinking of the worst case scenario. It really sucks.

Well I may have screwed up my hard drives when I put them in their new enclosures. Surprisingly enough I'm not freaking out...yet.

My anxiety was very high today but I feel better that I felt 3 weeks ago... has been a long way

What happened to my thank you button?

Hi, did you put me on ignore? My posts are getting rejected on every thread and I don't know what's going on.

@Fharraige, please forgive me. My whole phone went bonkers but only on my expired version of Tapatalk. Your posts here were the first I saw when the problem started. I hope you can forgive me for assuming you had me on ignore. I feel like a real jerk and moron.

That's no problem. Did you fix the problem with your phone?

Well my drives are screwed up and my husband is doing data recovery on them. It's going to take him a few days. Not very happy with myself at the moment.

Yes, thanks for asking and forgiving me! It was apparently my old version of Tapatalk that went so wrong on my phone. The new version does work fine, but I'll have to get used to it.

I'm so sorry you're having your hard drives fail. That happened to me back when I was using my desktop computers. I know you've posted about looking for a hard drive enclosure for them. I did that too! The hard drive from my desktop went into one.

Everything in in such a mess here now that I don't know where that set up is. I also heard that you can put your hard drive in a freezer bag in the freezer until you can get set with transferring data to a new drive.

Yes, maybe, thank you for asking. Everyone is saying it wasn't targeted at me but of course it's hard for me to believe (but my paranoia is not about you!).

I really hate when a bad dream ruins my whole day. I do my best every time to just shake it off, to convince myself that it was pure fiction... But my dreams can get so damned realistic sometimes. And no matter how hard I try I just can't maintain a healthy attitude with that level of anxiety.