Anxiety Daily Check-In Point #3

Husband and I went out to a garden a bit further away from home. It was busy with people taking pictures of their children. We still managed to enjoy ourselves and get some photos. I haven't looked at them yet as I was busy doing laundry and taking a nap. There were still some flowers in bloom so looking forward to that. Anxiety was low despite all the people. we just had to be a little more patient than usual.

I am in a panic right now...job stress, life stress, can't sleep. My heart is racing.

Less anxiety than usual today. I find I'm less anxious in my morning college classes if I get up earlier and try to relax a bit instead of getting up at the last second and then going to class. So I think waking up a 5:30 AM today was actually a good thing. I did wake up from a pretty bad nightmare though, but I'm feeling fine now.

Anxious today. I have an appointment with T this afternoon, have a couple of issues going on that I want to talk to her about. I'm worried about what she'll say though, I've never discussed these issues with anyone else before.

A bit disappointed

We had power out for about three hours. We ended up going to the other side of town for a while. Now power is back up and everything is normal again. Some anxiety but not as much as usual.

My anxiety skyrocketed when I went to my appointment with T. In general, and about specific issues. There's another T working there who I know, and I don't think he would see me in a very positive light. I was hired in to a company not that long ago to replace him when he was fired, and from my coworkers' stories I can easily imagine him holding a grudge. We made eye contact in the waiting room today, that's the first time I think he's noticed me there. Barely got to talk to T about any of the issues I wanted to talk to her about, but I guess it's ok since I see my pdoc on Friday.

My anxiety abruptly disappeared the night my mood crashed. So I'm pretty sure I was manic before then because I slept 12 hours for a number of days following. I do feel pangs of anxiety about going into work because of my situation. But its not a full blown panic attack. The compulsions have mostly gone away too.

I feel normal and like me again.

So unhappy right now

Quiet day today. Focused on Web page stuff for most of the day. Tried to take a nap but couldn't. Just finished dinner and now settling down on the couch. Anxiety was normal; a little high midday but fine otherwise.

i was somewhat better today... yesterday was a rough day... my work reveiw with my manager didnt go so well...she couldn't understand how me being at senior level in the dept could be making mistakes that i shouldn't be. blame it on overthinking and a scatter brain over the last few months over a friendship that ended badly.. nothing more.. sounds pathetic eh??

i finally stoppped beating myself up and said i will get over this setback and come back more confident as i know my job inside out.

tommorow is a NEW day right.

I'm having a really crummy time, being awake with feelings of failure and sharp anxiety over my appointment today. I don't think I can go because I'm terrified of being trapped on the stairs due to weakness and starting to shake with panic.

In fact, my mind is showing me videos like a movie reel of all the endless ways I could fall, or even get trapped on a step. That's it. I'm taking some tizanidine. I don't care about anything.

I got this. I feel confident. I've rehearsed thoroughly what I'm going to say. There's nothing they can really do to me. I'm the one with the power. And it's a nice feeling.

I am so scared. It's making me feel sick.

I'm defeated by my own lack of preparation and sleep hygiene. I never got to my appointment. I slept straight through it and my phone (with the alarm still on) was in my blanket and not on my table. That shows that I did wake up long enough to stop the alarm, unless it was still on my bed with me.

Anyway, if I don't make it for the next try, I'm through as their patient. I feel so stupid.

The alarm was still on though, so I might have fumbled with the phone but I didn't wake up, I guess. I never turned it off.

Another quiet day. Forgot to take my morning meds, so I was actually calmer than usual. Can't forget tomorrow, though.

Having a panic attack right now. I am typing so I don't try to rip my hair out.

I hope you're feeling better now. Do you have any anti anxiety meds?

The grip goes on.

Another quiet day. Did dishes and started a load of laundry. By doing stuff when I would normally would be anxious it seems to short-circuit it. But it's not something I can rely on doing everyday. I see my pdoc on Tuesday and will probably discuss this since it seems to be med-related.

My anxiety is not good. The noise is going on downstairs and it might go on past midnight at high volumes like last night. I wish so much they'd go someplace and never come back.

I have an appointment on Tuesday and I don't know who with. If it's the pdoc, I'll try to go. I'm so afraid though.

Anxiety is and always will be. Observe it. Name it: "Oh the anxiety thing." Move on to doing what is important to you in your life.