Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

most of my anxiety today (even though it's not much), comes from the fact that my voices are playing up and giving me grief- mainly saying homicidal stuff (I really need to learn how to spell that word, looking it up is a pain)

I also had some anxiety this morning because I was under the impression I was booked in for an appointment I didn't actually ask for, but now I don't think that's the case

I don’t think what I felt today was anxiety. I was just tired and I had no patience. But really no anxiety.

I'm sort of worried because my college class starts this week and it's a two hour class.

Awful panic attacks today.

So, I found two events related to my plan to work overseas. I failed to get the working holiday visa talkshow since the reservation tickets were sold out, but I am in the waiting list (I hope someone cancelled his/her reservations.) In the end, I got the ticket to foreign study education booth and exhibition. I was excited when I registered. Sadly, after I received the ticket, I was overwhelmed.

It always like this. Thinking about working overseas and future plans always make me anxious and depressed. My current situation always makes me feel stuck in a hole, and yet taking this big step is too risky and scary. I can't do anything but chase the latter again and again and again... Even though anxiety visits me afterwards.

Phew, this is quite a long vent for this daily check-in.

I've established today that the main reason I'm anxious is because of " general life", nothing pasiffic

oh

well one of the websites I use for tv listings is currently down, I am hoping it's back up soon because it's like the only reliable UK one that I know

I didn’t have too much anxiety today. I did go to a store that was closing in 8 days. It was so weird being in a basically empty store with just the really crappy stuff left. I was anxious being in there since it felt like I was in a post apocalyptic world. The second I walked out I felt better. However, that whole mall looked pretty desperate and I wouldn’t be surprised if it completely closed soon.

one of the things on my bucket list was to visit toys are us

but sadly all the stores closed here before I got a chance to visit.

stupid dream anyway.. why do I wanna go to a place bustling with screaming kids

I don't know

I spent the night anxious because of flashbacks

this morning I'm mostly okay- the site I use for tv is still down, and I'm hoping it's back up soon

it will be, i think. it goes down a lot and is always fixed

still no sign of my lion king dvds either.

god knows where they are..

I am anxious about the new job next week and the coming change and upheaval. I am not just anxious about whether it will work out or not, but I am anxious too about how the change in routine will affect my boyfriend. He has never had to deal with a spouse that works retail hours and much of the effects of this he is just coming to realise - like I won't always be home to make dinner, and that two day weekends will be a rarity.

Anxious and keyed up today. Did manage to get out of the house which was good. Wanted to shop for shirts but I was so keyed up my skin hurt so I didn't, but I did go to the deli and gift store.

Yeah it was bad today....

a little anxious about school, but doing well

Sort of anxious and forehead tension. My class starts tomorrow and worried about waking up late and its a two hour class.

I felt like I was having panic attacks in my sleep this morning. I was kind of in a dreamlike state at the same time. I took 2 Ativan this morning. I wasn’t too anxious at work. So I guess the Ativan worked.

I have been feeling too depressed to feel much anxiety, I don't know which is worse.

Just feeling sleepy. I went to my class yesterday and it lasted it over two hours. I'm relief I didn't get no anxiety, but I also took klonopin.

I was anxious in morning. Tried my new Biofeedback monitor and it showed "coherence" which is good! So my anxiety is not affecting my heart rate apparently. Weird!

I'm not anxious now. Going to bed soon I hope but it's only 8, way too early!

I was happy in my last weekend. Yes, I stayed at home, do nothing but thinking and reflecting. I don't know why, when, and how, but somehow I found myself again. I felt like I'm back from a very long time.

Unfortunately, I have to say goodbye to the rest on this weekend. I must attend an important event on Saturday and a coworker's wedding party on Sunday. I can't escape.

Nervous as heck. I start a job tomorrow. It has been six years since I last worked.

I am a bit anxious about my Dr. apt. tomorrow.

I have had nothing to be anxious about today.

the sad truth of that is, that I've not actually done anything today either

so it's good and bad

good that I'm not anxious, but bad the day is wasted

That god-awful gnawing feeling in my stomach most of the day. Usually I’m not even anxious about any particular thing — it just comes for no reason. I was able to stay productive today. Last week I had to turn out the lights in my office and just sit in the dark for awhile. But today I stayed out in the light like a normal person. It’s the small victories, right?

It is quite high. I start a new job in mere hours and while I am looking forward to working after six years am more than a little nervous. Even medicated I had a hard time settling down to sleep last night. My mind was spinning.

UPDATE: It went rather well. Sigh. Relief.