question about medication

hi... i haven't posted here before...but i really need some advice... i have ptsd... panic attacks and i si (it's been over a month)...i had a pretty hard t appointment tonight and i left not very happy... i had a pretty severe reaction to the generic wellbutrine about 6 months ago... the insurance company switched it because my doctor didn't specify name-brand only and i couldn't afford to repurchase the prescription so i tried it... it caused my anxiety to go through the roof and i couldn't focus at all... when they switched me back to the name brand it got a little better but i had a constant head ache and a shaky feeling and i felt like my brain was in a fog... so i tapered off and figured i would tell my med doc when i saw him in march... i really was feeling better...my brain is clearer... and even though i had more panic attacks the intensity was much less and i was able to get grounded pretty quickly...the shaky feeling was almost gone...well i just got blasted with a major crisis and it triggered my panic attacks and anxiety... i am afraid to go to sleep for fear that i will wake up out of control... my t tonight asked me about my meds and i told him what i did...needless to say he is really unhappy with me and expects me to call my doctor tomorrow and scedule an appointment...and not wait till march...i really don't want to go back on medication... i just was on lexapro but i was gaining weight...and i had just lost 130 lbs... so that was a real issue...i have xanax but have only taken that a couple times after really bad panic attacks... it made me feel so numb i couldn't really see the difference from that and when i cut... they both send me to the same place......i am not even sure what my question is...thank you....lyn

Hi lyn, it looks like maybe you are looking for support in your decision to try life without your meds? Maybe you could make a list of pros and cons of being on your meds. IN what ways do you feel better or worse on meds? You've already said without your meds you have panic attacks. If you don't want to go back on meds, you need to find another way to deal with the panic attacks. A therapist could help you with that. I would just go through my list one by one and see if there are solutions to the current problems that do not involve meds. If there are just too many "cons" right now and not enough alternative ways to cope, maybe you are not ready to be med-free. You could go back on meds but work out an approach with your doctor that doesn't get you taking meds with bad side effects, such as weight gain, headaches, etc. Good luck!

Lyn, what about cutting the xanax in half before taking it?

it may help the numb feeling. I had to try that at first.

Let me know if I can be of help. feel free to pm me anytime.

colleen

even when i quarter it... i kind of numb out...and to be honest... there are times that it seems like an easy escape from reality... and i completely understand how people (just about everyone in my life) get addicted... sometimes...tonight is one of them... that i wish i drank... and that scares me... i know i am making no sense at all...i took the lexapro for a year ... and it worked at first... then the axiety started to come back and i gained 10 lbs... so they switched me to wellbutrine... and it worked until they gave me the generic... i just want to be normal again... lynda

Oh, Lynda, how stressful for you. If you don't want to take meds you don't have to but if you complain to your T about symptoms then your T is going to be unhappy you are not on meds? Catch-22 there.

You need to sleep well as that's one thing fueling your panic. When our body's get out of order because we don't eat and sleep well, don't maintain the rhythms they're built to need, that is often more than half the battle.

Were I you, I'd distract myself from my some of my crisis work in order to get rest by taking up nutrition in some form; either reading about vitamins and minerals, etc. or taking up cooking of some sort, giving up fast food (I've done that) or checking out nutrition good for anxiety http://www.anxietysecrets.com/nutritionFrame-5.htm

Start a journal on what seems to help you and what doesn't and chart your panics; when they happen and what specirfic triggers them, how much sleep you get, etc.

Remember, the panic attacks are symptoms, they're not "real" in a sense. If you get too afraid of being afraid it only makes it worse (been there, done that :-)

March isn't that far. I'd try something else for February and tell your T about it and what you're doing and show him how you're trying something else and see if you can enlist him into helping you. I have a March doctor's appointment to (regular doctor) and I'm working on losing weight and getting my blood pressure down, etc. by natural means rather than meds and stuff.

(((((((((((Lyn))))))))))) First of all ... congratulations on no SI for over a month! That's fantastic and you should be <u>very</u> proud of YOU ... I know I am! Keep up the GREAT work!

I'm not a doctor or even a medical professional, but I've taken a lot of different drugs in my 60 years. One thing I've learned is this ... there's <u>always</u> an alternative to a drug that gives you a bad reaction! Wellbutrin is relatively new and there were many antidepressants before it ... like Valium, for instance.

Wellbutrin also contains serotonin and serotonin is not tolerated by many of us. (Gave me the shakes so bad that I had to hold my coffee cup in 2 hands!) SO ... I think you should discuss alternative meds with both your T and your doctor. SURELY, there's something that will help and not make you feel worse!

I looked for alternatives to Wellbutrin and came across this:

Clarocet® ERT is the first Natural Reuptake Inhibitor formulated as an Extended Release Tablet, so it's easy to remember when to take it—just once a day.

A clinical strength blend of plant-derived medicines, essential vitamins, trace minerals, and amino acids work together to exhibit a broad-spectrum of action that promotes a positive mood balance during periods of heightened emotional stress.

I'm sure, with a little Googling, you could find many more things that might work for you! My daughter just started to take Alpha Lipoic Acid (ALA) which is an inexpensive antioxident with a lot of amazing effects on anxiety and depression. If you'd like some links, please PM me! It seems to be working very well for her sense of "well-being" ... and, because it's a universal antioxydent, it's great for you anyway!

Hope this helps and you find the meds or supplements that work best FOR YOU. Don't give up trying, Lyn ... and, for God's sake, <u>don't</u> feel like a failure if you need help with your depression or anxiety! As my son once told me ... "That's why God made pills, Mama!" Also remember ... YOU are ultimately in charge of YOUR CARE.

GoodMama

ty everyone for the advice... my t called today to make sure i had made the call to my med doc... and he shared his concerns and listened to mine... we came to an agreement... he understands that i don't want to take antidepressants anymore... and he will back off from pushing that for the time being if i can get back to a more stable place...my depression is triggered by my panic...i promised i would sit down with my med doc and discuss what med choices i have for anxiety (not that i haven't done this a million times)... he doesn't want me to wait til march because i hit bottom over new years... and i admitted to him that when it happened i didn't know if i was going to be able to get through it...and if it meant feeling like this i wasn't sure i wanted too...guess that got his flags up...

your right perna... sleep and nutrition are major factors in my ability to cope... i know that i can't let myself get to exhausted (which i was)... but the catch is when the panic is in full swing... i can't sleep... and i get to where i am afraid to sleep because i wake up in the middle of panic attacks.

he wants me to ask specifically about xanax (which is the rx i have) and ativan... and at what doses they they are safely taken. i have seradyn which is a supplement that works in a simular way... but it all makes me feel numb...and i hate it...lol... numb by meds i hate... numb by si...oh well

thank you for listening

lyn