[FeelingHopeful]

Was wondering if anyone has ever had a friend or partner push them away due to bp disease? Did they start a new life with new friends and leave you behind? Or if dyou have Bp did you do this to anyone? How did it turn out? I would love stories.

[bridgie]

I feel like I push ppl out of my life. I don't know if its on purpose though. Like if I blow up at someone I say I'm sorry and try not to do it again but when I'm irritable it is so hard to controll. I'm working on it. And when I'm down all my insecurities show and a lot of people don't like "weak" women. I've heard the "where is the strong woman I fell in love with" but when you are down I don't know how to stop it. So yes. I feel like I push and push. So far only a few have stuck around and none are lovers just friends and family.

[BashfullOne]

I've pushed people away for most of my adut years. I've got to the point where I've just isolated myself from the world. But my true friends would not be pushed away - they kept telling me how much they love me and will always be my friends - both of them. Only two have stuck with me - and they are the best friends a person could ask for. One is very spirital and she has help me so much. My family has stuck by me the whole time. I've threatened my wonderful, awesome husband with divorce for years...but he knew it wasn't really me talking. Yet he stood by my side during those horrible times. I learned to get a better handle on my feelings and avoid letting myself get so angry. I now know what is wrong with me and my meds and psych are really helping me through these tough days. There is hope.... For the last two days I've been really happy and on top of the world. But I don't know how long it will last so we are enjoying every minute of my happieness!! I'm not looking forward go going back into that deep black pit that sucks the life out of me.... Today I'm just glad to be alive!!

[FeelingHopeful]

ut my true friends would not be pushed away - they kept telling me how much they love me and will always be my friends Thank you Bridgie, and Bashful one, I love your quote bashful one, I refuse to be pushed away, I amgoing to be there for him in good and bad times, whenever he needs me.Friends for life.

[Ascension]

My personal experience has been one of retreating from the world. I found it very hard to make new friends let alone a life partner. The few relationships I did have before the one I am with now didn't last because I lived in a space in my head. My child's mother said she would have rather been cursed at than be completely unacknowledged. She said she at times wondered if she existed because she would say something and I wouldn't respond. Not so much as a nod of the head or looking away. My thoughts raced so fast and my depression was so deep and my grandiose delusions of being the next great novelist or musician though I did nothing kept me so preoccupied that I disappeared almost. I got to be so comfortable in there and used that as a coping skill for so long that I still struggle to come out so to speak. So I guess I chose myself over the others. I have been fortunate to find someone that I connect with and trust enough to make the effort to not live there anymore, though I retreat sometimes.

[bipolo]

I find that I have push people away. My husband has stuck by me when I was down and didn;t want anyone near me. But I now have now true friends, just nice people I know that I don;t hang out with but see and know enough to talk to. I can't spell the acqu word. I aviod fighting because my husbasnd just shuts me out and we get no where.

[Junerain]

My parents pushed me away due to bipolar, and I had no significant other or any true friends at the time either,,,was left to die basically.......

[Goldylocks]

I have spent my whole life pushing people away. The only one who have stuck around long enough to be considered a true friend is my sig. other. He has stood by me and learned to work with my disorder. My family is also very tight and is always standing by if I need them. Other than that I have no one I can call a friend.

[FeelingHopeful]

Thanks everyone, Imlearning alot from your replies, thank you for being courageous enough to tell your stories. Means alot,big Hugs!

Originally Posted by FeelingSad

Was wondering if anyone has ever had a friend or partner push them away due to bp disease? Did they start a new life with new friends and leave you behind? Or if dyou have Bp did you do this to anyone? How did it turn out? I would love stories.

I do have Bipolar, but I also have many other issues.
I do have the push-away behavior too.
I start to feel comfortable.
I'm not used to comfortable or feeling good,
So I try to tell them they shouldn't be friends
with me "If I were you, I wouldn't talk to me.

[Anneinside]

When I stopped working due to bipolar, my "friends" at work cut me off. We used to go to lunch but I have never heard from them again. One person from work sees me for lunch once or twice a year but he also has bipolar, very well controlled (and hasn't disclosed at work). My co-workers acted standoffish and embarrassed when I went to clean out my office.

[ldm120206]

Originally Posted by bridgie

I feel like I push ppl out of my life. I don't know if its on purpose though. Like if I blow up at someone I say I'm sorry and try not to do it again but when I'm irritable it is so hard to controll. I'm working on it. And when I'm down all my insecurities show and a lot of people don't like "weak" women. I've heard the "where is the strong woman I fell in love with" but when you are down I don't know how to stop it. So yes. I feel like I push and push. So far only a few have stuck around and none are lovers just friends and family.

sounds alot like me...I just wish I had more control

[ldm120206]

Originally Posted by FeelingSad

Was wondering if anyone has ever had a friend or partner push them away due to bp disease? Did they start a new life with new friends and leave you behind? Or if dyou have Bp did you do this to anyone? How did it turn out? I would love stories.

I have also pushed people away...I truly have no friends and other than my boyfriend.and my daughter....I am only in contact with my mother and sister..Right now I am trying to save my relationship with my boyfreind...It has been 3 years...I am ok for awhile...then my insecurities kick in...I accuse him of cheating...blow up at him...try to push him away....he has been awesome for sticking with me for so long...but he has had his feel...He does not understand what it is to be bipolar and doesn't know that I just can't control it..It is a daily struggle to try to keep those thoughts out of my head and keep control.

[FeelingHopeful]

Originally Posted by Junerain

My parents pushed me away due to bipolar, and I had no significant other or any true friends at the time either,,,was left to die basically.......

Aww Junerain,Im sorry, How are you doing now?

[dj586858]

I must say I really can't blame anyone who doesn't understand us and just can't hang in there during the struggling times. Those of you who have husbands and boyfriends are blessed. I have been alone romantic-relationship-wise for almost 4 years now since my finance met someone else and quickly married her. (We still work at the same place so it was not a fun time to say the least). Anyway, I only push people away when the darkness swallows me up. I totally want to be alone then and sleep as much as I can. I drag myself to work but try to keep to myself there as much as possible. I have some great friends who don't ask anything of me when I "go away" and welcome me back when I am better. They are essential to my wellness. Yes, I know, I am blessed too.

[missmoonshine]

For me at the moment I am still struggling at times somedays I cant cope with any one being near me, other days I only can cope with people who can empathise with what I am going through. Some of my closest friends I havnt seen in months. One friend who was always keeping close contact just is never around anymore (guess shes sick of me which I do understand how she feels cos I'm sick of me too) Sometimes its just nice being around people who have no idea of what I am going through. Some of my friends I have pushed away deliberately I almost cant stand the sight of them as if I told them what I have gone through and still going through they would say something like"its all in the mind" or "you just need to go for a walk" LOL or something like that anyway. So yes for good reason and their safety I have pushed them away

[damnare]

I don't push others away as much as retreating. Even at home. I went through a very turbulent phase some years ago and it was ugly. I started to drink away my issues and just stay quiet about my disease. I'm not big on drinking now but I can say I have fewer friends now than ever before. I have a friend who cares enough to ask about it (he's depressed himself), and two girls who are into me. Come to think about it I do push the girls away. I'm constantly trying to sabotage what I have with them b/c I think they have their own agendas.

The people who pushed me away didn't even know about my bipolar at first.

[FeelingHopeful]

Thanks for your post, Im learning about bipolar and what you said stood out about agenda's. Is Thinking someone has a agenda thats nots good a part of Being Bipolar?
Does That Thought take over and cloud normal judgement?

[harleygurl]

When I was undiagnosed, I used to push friends and loved ones away all the time. Now that I know what's going on, I very much regret pushing those people away and treating them the way I did. I have recently be able to build the relationships back with the ones I've hurt in the past and most of them seem to understand that it wasn't really "me" before I was properly medicated. Now they see a whole new me and are very glad that I am happy with myself now.

[icuao2]

Originally Posted by Junerain

My parents pushed me away due to bipolar, and I had no significant other or any true friends at the time either,,,was left to die basically.......

You say die ! I say I gave up a child that I stll couldn't or feel love cause I felt I've hurt it or worse. Later in life a beatiful 2nd chance and to this day. I did have love for the child ; I've let him go and there are no regrets. The funny spirtual thing is that their b-days are somewhere around a week apart. I think God wanted me to be happy and have it all in 1 month

[Anneinside]

Originally Posted by FeelingSad

Thanks for your post, Im learning about bipolar and what you said stood out about agenda's. Is Thinking someone has a agenda thats nots good a part of Being Bipolar?
Does That Thought take over and cloud normal judgement?

Thinking someone else has an agenda is not a part of bipolar unless it is a paranoid delusion caused by psychosis. Psychosis can be part of a manic episode.