How I Feel Today. . . Open to all.

yeah..made it out of the house..puttered around the backyard for a while. Then felt suddenly drained; could barely walk back to the house. Had something to eat, feeling a little better but think I need to go to bed..

to all! (and polyonomous, seriously, whatever you've got going on with the yipees, sign me up! )

I'm doing ok. Nights I've been struggling with loneliness. (BF works early, sleeps a lot and I really don't know anyone else here, so... yeah) Just started with the Teva generic of Lamictal today, hoping that goes well. Did some errands and realized I was being pleasant and even, well, not chatty, but better than usual!

PT look after yourself! well done for getting out of the house for a bit, now treat yourself to something nice to relax!

Innerzone Hugs! glad you are doing ok.. will save afew of the yippees for you (gotta love days like that!)

Thinker.. hope you are feeling a bit better today

Lots of love and hugs to all!

Not sure how I'm feeling, but at least my headache from yesterday went away...

thought I was going to have a good day..woke up hearing this whooshing sound, sounded like it was on top of my house. Looked outside and saw hot air balloons right over my head..found my camera, took some pics, watched them float away...then, instant tears, mood dropped like a rock. Now I have a massive headache. So anyway, here's one of the pics:

DSCN4403 by Materdork, on Flickr

Innerzone glad you feeling ok other then feeling alone. I think loneliness is a beast in itself. Hope it passes soon.

(((Denise26))) just wishing you better.

(((PT52))) sorry you are so blue. Be gentle with yourself today.

My mood is just eh I guess. Definitely not what I would call a good day, but definitely could be worse. Don't feel like doing much of anything, but dreading just sitting around. I wish I could just get out of this slump. Tired of just existing day to day.

vj: your "just existing" is one of the things that helps me make it thru my day..hope you see the light at the end of the slump soon.
And if you feel like just sitting around, glad you're doing it here.

Had me some protein and got a little bit of energy back..a little less depressed and feeling I might even be able to do something semi-productive...later, maybe...or not

I'm still a little achy, but I feel much better today. Thanks to all for your support.

PT52 thanks for your kind words. I am very thankful for PC because people are so great here. It is one of the highlights of my day as sad as that sounds. Glad you are feeling a little better, depression sucks. Hope the cloud of sadness lifts and tomorrow is a better day.

thinker22 I'm really glad you are feeling better today. Nothing like pain to ruin ones day. I hope tomorrow you feel even better.

Well, I think I would have had a pretty good day (and mood-wise it's fine), then my back went semi-out this morning over the smallest thing -- really stupid, but that was the first twang with more and worse since then. (I say "semi" because I can still move around a bit with care-- have had it worse for sure.) Fortunately, I still have some meds from the last time it went out (much worse) when I still had a doctor. Ugh! Do not want!

Watched some DVDs and stuff and am going to try to work on some art now. Hope this thing irons out soon (it might, sometimes it does), because the thought of getting called to work at all is scary till it starts behaving itself.

Hi guys,

thought I'd join in...
really unmotivated about getting my work done. It really sucks coz I feel like life can't go on until I finish my thesis... and its going nowhere....
always get like this after missing uni being sick but doesn't make it any easier

Hugs innerzone, hope your back feels better soon, lots of rest!

That sound familiar black pup! i struggle to get motivated! sometimes writing anything is better than writing nothing, even if you go back and edit it all later it might get the writers block moving?!

Im having a horrible day following all the euphoria of the last few days. ive switched into irritable, grumpy, shouty, headachy with a bit of anxiety thrown in
Im all over the place at the moment, I dont know if this is because of the change in dose of the anti ds, but the dose is so low now i doubt its even therapeutic.. recon the doctors just keep me on it to shut me up and make me feel like they are earning their pay.
waiting to hear from psych for an assessment apppointment, so im not sure if this is all just an effect of feeling anxious that im not going to be "mad" enough. It would be too humiliating to get there after all this fuss just to be told im fine and just making it all up.
got to go back to work on weds, am a teacher, Ive had 6 weeks of to try to get my head sorted and its not sorted. when the stress starts again im scared i am going to go really off my head... if im not just making it all up that is! aaarrrrgggg I dont know whats going on in my head.. but i dont like it!

vj: not sad at all! For the first time in my life I feel like I have friends who accept me as I am..I've always kind of kept my distance from close relationships other than my family, and I figured they love me cuz they have to!

BlackPup: Hope you find your motivation! (I almost shortened BlackPup to BP and then realized how uncool that would look! )

poly: hope you get it sorted out soon; and even if someone thinks you're just "making it up" remember that we know differently. Good luck with your psych appt - hopefully even if you're not "mad" enough, they will listen and understand how you've felt recently.

Me..started the day on hold forever with the employment department trying to straighten out my claim. It's raining and it's not supposed to be, so I'm mad at the weather man. I really need some sunshine today. I feel overwhelmed by a stack of stuff looming over me - jobs to apply for, documentation to finish for the attorney (appt tomorrow - happy about that), editing for my volunteer work, I'm behind two assignments in the one class I'm taking and my house really needs to be cleaned. Joints hurt from the damp weather. So I guess I'll just stay here for a while and pretend I don't have that scary to-do list.

Innerzone sorry to hear about your back going out. I know that is very painful. Take it easy and I pray it mends soon.

BlackPup glad you joined us. Hope you can kick your writers block and get your thesis done.

Polyonamous I hate to hear you went from feeling euphoric to completely aggitated. Hope you hear from your psych soon so you can get things straightened out. I couldn't imagine trying to deal with a bunch of kids in your state. I hope it calms down soon.

PT52 take a breather that to do list will be there when your ready to tackle it. When you get ready take it one thing at a time. Sorry it is raining I know how that can dampen ones mood.

Today I got up around 11:00 am which is about my normal time. Made myself get motivated, took a shower, and got my much needed running done that I had been putting off for the last 3 or 4 days. Now I'm just trying to relax until my kiddos get home. I guess I can say it has been a decent day. Not to much looming over me. Feels good to have gotten things done. Now I just have to prepare myself for the rest of the day.

Innerzone: Good to hear about the mood but sucks about the back. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the rest and care that you need.
Polyonomous: Regardless of whatever label they give you, this has been real. I know that I sometimes doubt my diagnosis or think I'm not sick enough, but I think thats just another way our brains play tricks on us.
PT52: Take it easy Hope that the sun comes out.
vj: awesome about the running - want to send some motivation this way hope the rest of the day goes (went?) well.

Yesterday my sister convinced me to go to a kickboxing class with her I swear I thought I was going to collapse!!!! Still spending way to much time on the internet and not enough writing, Poly - is writing responses on forums enough to break to writers block!!! Walked over to my desk and found that one of my work mates had left a box of chocolates (not good for the diet but made me feel happy!!!)

OK, have to change my original assessment: The sun finally did come out, I applied for a couple of jobs, I finished getting everything in order for the attorney, had a long, lovely phone call from my daughter, had a short but really pleasant phone call from the hubs, played ball with the boys..turned out to be a pretty decent day, and no major dips into depression. If the lawyer has good news tomorrow, I'll be flying high

BlackPup sending vibes of motivation your way. Way to go on going to kickboxing class even though it wore you out. Hoping you can get that thesis done soon.

PT52 I'm glad things turned around for you. Way to go on being productive. Glad the sun came out and you got to enjoy your day. That is truly wonderful.

Today I rolled out of bed and forced myself to get the weed eating done. Not what I wanted to do, but I accomplished it so that is a good thing. I think I done it more out of feeling obligated then anything. My brother-in-law has been mowing my yard for me and their weed eater is out of commission so I told them I would weed eat for them. We live next door to each other. After that I went out and picked up dog food for my little beasties. Then come home got cleaned up and back into my night clothes. Keeping somewhat busy has helped improve my mood instead of just sitting around thinking. I'm real good at that . . . lol.
Looking forward to hearing from my husband tonight. I will find out if he is coming home this weekend or not. My hopes are so high that if he doesn't I think it will send be back into depression being I've been teetering that line anyway. I miss him so bad. He has been gone for a month and a half now and it feels like so much longer. I know work is work, but man do I hate that it has to be so far away.

vjd: Good for you for keeping busy. I know it helps my sanity to do so.

Me: a little hyper, but my mood is good. Just got back from picking up some of my meds. I'm good for about 2 months on almost all my meds in terms of supply, but I'll run out of Geodon next month, so I need to get my former p-doc to phone in an Rx for me because I won't be seeing the new p-doc with my state insurance for another 4-6 weeks.

That's my biggest concern right now: running out of the meds that have kept me feeling good for the past month.

Sorry if anyone's having a bad day, but I have to get it out....Woo-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo!!!! Got a lawyer, she's great, says I have a case, gonna take it on - oh YEAH!!

Hi folks, everyone is sounding good today!

Im feeling a bit less anxious and more settled, had a lovely day with a friend and all our kids (5 boys) playing in the sun in my garden!
back to work tomorrow.. wish me luck!

Hi guys, keep up the good vibes....

vj, fingers crossed for hubby getting home... stay strong...
pt52, YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
poly, LUCK!!!!!

Meeting with supervisor in 30 min... scary stuff!!!! Hopefully all goes well, he was nice to me when I droped by his office this morning - but he's a bit unpredictable at times...

Fingers and toes crossed, BlackPup..super good luck, Poly!

Hey buddy! Your message put a big smile on my face! I am so glad someone is listening. Go, you!!

Tonight I'm in the eye of the hurricane. (Figuratively, not literally.)

I'm relieved because I just got out of the hospital this afternoon. The hospitalization was actually quite helpful and I feel much better than when I went in.

But coming up I have a ton of stuff to do. I'm taking three exams on Friday, and moving cross-country (2260 miles) on Saturday. Eek!

So here I am in the calm between two nightmares. I hope the upcoming stress isn't too much for me...

Thanks, dj - you know I'll do anything to make you smile!
Medicated: eat that elephant one bite at a time and you'll get through it - positive vibes coming your way...