How I Feel Today. . . Open to all.

I had a decent day. Washed the sheets and pillowcases and remade the bed. First time I've done that in years. (They get washed every week, just by my partner, not me). I also made chocolate chip cookies. I ate one. Then I felt guilty. More on that in my weight loss thread. I wasted 3 hours playing a video game and then didn't even save my progress. The results just sucked more than when I started playing so I figure I'll do better on my next try.

Hugs to everyone. Have a good weekend.

I was just on a website reading about loneliness. I feel lonely on an ongoing basis, and reading about the characteristics of loneliness (most of which I share) made me feel like a loser. I am proud of myself because afterward I realized that reading about loneliness is not a great idea for me and should be avoided, and also because I decided to come back to this site in an attempt to feel better. So, right now I feel down, but I am hoping I will feel happier soon.

well done may lilacs.. you managed to turn it into a positive experience!

Thinker.. Ive just washed all my sheets! always feels nice to have clean sheets!

Now i feel so tired i cant move, so i will sit at the computer for a while!

feeling very strange... this time last week i was swallowing pills?!? doesnt seem real now, feels like something i read about someone else

hi.
I feel bored, bored, bored. I'm normal at the moment and i shouldn't be complaining; its what we aim for after all, but its so ****** boring

halloweenwitch: Hope you find some inspiration today

poly: glad you're feeling better

maylilacs: for what it's worth, you're never alone here. I feel lonely a lot and virtual hugs definitely don't replace the real thing, but sometimes it's all we have..so here are a couple for you..

thinker: EAT!...okay, I'm no good at barking orders hope you find something today that makes you want to eat.

TinaL: I know how you feel..maybe you could get some books or even an online therapist..I'm sure there are people here who have ideas on good resources. I'm in the middle of a workbook on DBT - it's amazing how much we can do on our own.

vj: so glad you had a decent day

sundog: hope today is a better day.

Me: woke up sore all over - headache, muscles, joints, even my skin hurts. No motivation, not depressed, but tensed up waiting for it to hit..probably why I'm sore. Starting the Wellbutrin today and upping the Lamictal by another 50..hoping it will work. Think I'm heading for the hot tub and then the shower...a little home made spa therapy.

today is a pretty hard day for me. not for any particular reason but that is what makes it so hard. i can't seem to control the 180 degree internal flip flop up and down my emotions inside go and it takes all of me to control it. my insurance i have now doesnt cover a therapy or psychiatric visit until i met an astronomical deductible so until open enrollment next year i have to do my best to make it through. i feel so alone so worthless so down about myself for no good reason at all. i feel lost and hopeless.

Today I'm feeling depressed and unmotivated. I feel like it takes every thing out of me just to make it through the week at work and try to appear "normal". By the time I get home, I just want to crash on the couch and watch TV. I've barely been cooking dinner, just pasta and soup nothing healthy enough for teenagers (or me); so I feel guilty about that. By the time the weekend comes, I don't really know what to do or where to start so a lot of times I do nothing.

I'm really jealous of you Thinker - getting those sheets changed! How can I get motivated?

So glad you got out to visit your parents ((((((VJ))))))) and that you're doing well overall

Hugs to ((((TinaL))))

Well done for changing the beds!! ((((thinker))) and (((((poly)))) I love clean sheets!!!

Good going ((((((maylilies))))))

I hope that "normal" starts feeling good (((halloweenwitch))))

Really sorry you woke up with so many aches and pains ((((((((((PT)))))))))) I hope they have eased up. Really hope the Wellbutrin and higher dose of Lamictal helps too

Welcome (((((((kitarasoleil)))))))) I'm really sorry you're feeling alone and hopeless right now. I hope you find a lot of support here at PC!

Big hugs to ((((((((((seaswept))))))))))))

I am doing better today, although I still feel queasy and I had really bad anxiety when I woke up. But then we went out to a really nice Farmer's Market this morning and it was nice just wondering around looking at the different stalls with their brightly colored and delicious fruits, veggies and other wares all beautifully displayed. It was a good distraction and it lifted my mood. I am so focused so much of the time on how bad I'm feeling, and that just makes the problem worse. I need to do more things that distract me. It's hard to do things if I feel ill, but sometimes it's worth pushing through it and doing them anyway because then I can end up feeling better. I have been withdrawing quite a bit lately and that isn't helping at all. Also, I need to try and stop over-analyzing everything and just get on with things. So hard to turn my brain down, but that's my goal! Think less!!!!!!

Big hugs to all!!

I had a really anxious morning so I just ate breakfast and went back to bed. Got up in the afternoon after reading a little and decided the best way to distract myself was to play video games, which I did. Felt better about the second half of the day. If I can get my brain focused on something, time flies. So I'm not overwhelmed any more. Going to watch something fun tonight...at least that's the plan. Thank you all who post and comment on here. It's such a relief to express and see how everyone's doing.

Hi Seaswept, and welcome...everyone here has good ideas on how to get motivated. The one that works for me is to break everything down into bite size projects. So instead of cleaning the whole kitchen, I say I'll just empty the dishwasher. If I don't feel like doing more, then I don't feel guilty for quitting. Usually, tho, once I get started I feel more motivated.

I have a book (Life 101) that has really helped me (even before diagnosis)..in it they say, just do one thing. anything, but do something. Hope that helps!

Feeling particularly anxious this morning. Kept getting up and going back to bed. Finally got up about 10 am. For me, that late is unheard of. Getting breakfast now after not wanting to bother.

I am tired of worrying about anything and everything. I even worry about things that are supposed to be fun, such as my upcoming vacation, my first in three years.

Hope you feel better, Clive...try to focus on what is instead of "what if?"...I know it's hard, but it can help.
kitara: I can empathize with what you're feeling..hope it gets better

Me: I think the rapid drops of depression have all run together and now I'm just plain old depressed. Wondering why I bother to do anything. Still, going to find a way to make myself do something productive today.

kita I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Have you checked to see if there are any clinics in your area that offer help based on income? If not can your GP help out? Are you on any meds for bipolar? Wishing things will get better for you.

Seaswept sorry you are not feeling good. I know how depression can effect everything we do. Motivation is very difficult when feeling this way. I really hope your mood lifts soon.

sundog glad you are feeling better. I'm also glad you was able to get out and enjoy yourself for a while. I know what you mean by occupying yourself helping. It can be very difficult at times though to force yourself into doing these things.

thinker sorry you had an anxious morning, I know how that is. Glad you were able to overcome it though and your day got better.

clive sorry your anxiety is up. I know that worrying over everything is so draining. Wishing things will get better for you.

PT52 sorry you are depressed. I applaud you for trying to be productive anyway. I know how difficult that can be. I hope the depression lifts and you feel better soon.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel today. Definitely tired even though I slept 11 hours last night. I just want to go back to bed and sleep the day away. I feel kinda mangled mentally. Just really not in good spirits today. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but just not very functionable.

Sorry you had an anxious morning yesterday ((((((thinker)))))), but it's good you were able to distract yourself with the video game. I use the internet a lot to distract myself too!

Sorry you are feeling so anxious today ((((((((Clive))))))) I do know exactly what you mean about not being able to stop worrying. I wish there was a switch in our brain we could turn off!! I hope the anxiety eases!

(((((((PT))))))) Really sorry that depression has struck. That sucks. Sending hugs!!

((((((((vj)))))))) Sorry you're feeling a bit mangled today. Sometimes I find that if I have one night where I sleep a lot, I feel more tired the next day than if I haven't slept much. And it takes a couple of consecutive nights of good sleep before I feel rested (if that makes sense!!) At any rate, I hope you're able to take it easy today and I'm sending you tons of good vibes!!

I feel a bit stupid because I've only just realized that this thread is intended for people with Bi Polar..... Obviously I realized it was in the Bi Polar Forum, but I think I misunderstood the title of the thread. The part where it says "Open To All". I thought that meant open to people who don't have Bi Polar too, but I don't think it does mean that. I think it means open to everyone with Bi Polar!!! So I really apologize for misunderstanding that!! Because I don't actually have Bi Polar. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder and Depression/Dysthymia......I guess I should start a thread like this in the Anxiety Room!! Anyhow, sorry for posting in the wrong place!!!! And big hugs to all!!!!!!

Doesn't seem to me you're in the "wrong" thread..you've made some excellent contributions to this one. Many of the symptoms and diagnoses overlap, not to mention your diagnosis is a whole lot like the one I had before it was changed to BP...don't run off just because of a silly label

Right this moment, and for the past few hours? Silly. I had a humorous experience at the grocery store after a graveyard shift and am still laughing over it. Starting to get a bit tired now though.
Yesterday I was missing my son after he visited for one day (17 and not seen each other since January).
The day before, having a wonderful time until everyone went to sleep at 8 pm. I was damn near to crying, my mood crashed so fast. Why is it, even when I'm not hypo, (or full on depression) that I always seem to have more energy than others??? Not too much, just enough to stay awake and visit and hang out. And stay up regardless of the hour or sleep preceeding it? Maybe it was simply expections that were unrealistic.
And the fact that I had to expound on a couple days says that I've not quite been keeping up here. Pretty much, but not entirely. Which, considering the importance of the visit is understandable...(You know, so was everyone falling asleep, and I had to keep telling myself that, even though it crashed me...)

Thank you vdragonfly and PT52 for commenting, I'm still kind of new here and its really nice knowing there's a place to go and talk or vent with people who know what you're going through.
PT52 -my husband said the same thing to me last night: just do one thing. It is good advice and I'm going to try to remember that each day, so I don't get so overwhelmed.
Today has been better, even though this morning I woke up with really bad back pain, I took a pain killer and a muscle relaxer; that seemed to help. My son started to clean out the garage so I helped him organize some stuff.
-And Sundog thank you for the big hug! I think it's fine that you posted here, I think its good because you've brightened up somebody's day.

Thank you so much!! I really like this thread and I would love to stick around, I just suddenly felt really dumb!!!

Well, if you're feeling dumb, I'm guessing you've got LOTS of company!

Anxious again this morning. Ate breakfast and went back to bed. Read a little after trying to get back to sleep. Got up at noon. Then I paced, then ate lunch, then talked to my parents on the phone, then started a new painting. Finally got the courage up to turn on my computer just a few minutes ago. I don't know why, but checking email and my couple of sites I go to just seemed too overwhelming before now. Now that the day's almost over, anyway.

Hope everyone is doing well. My meds just aren't working like they used to. Anxiety is back for no good reason.

I feel dissapointed, depressed, confused and yet somewhat amused. I never really noticed my manic episodes before cause my depressive episodes are much worse. So I only noticed that my sudden burst of convidence was "fake" around the time I started getting depressed again. I only started the right meds about a year ago. I'm 24 and have to start working/studying for the first time so suddenly feeling like I could conquer the world was so nice (sigh). Having that confidence morphed into depressions sucks...Oh well, onwards to the next day!

I had a pretty good day. My hubby & I took my Brittany Chloe for a walk this morning on a nice trail that a friend told me about this past week. Chloe forces me to get out almost every day. When she doesn't get in a good walk, I pay the consequences for the rest of the day. We saw and heard ( it was very loud) a pileated woodpecker. Beautiful.
I spent the rest of the day painting & cleaning.Best day that I have had in a long time. Trying to relax now so I can get to sleep.

I feel tired.

Hi guys,

So far so good - thanks for all that crossed finger and toes!!!! No major rebounds... but still a little "fragile". I'm going to be avoiding forums for the rest of the week in the hope of productivity!!! See you all on the weekend and praying for good health and happiness to you all.

Lots of , K

Hey, BlackPup - been missing you! Have a good week and see you on the weekend!

2plus4 - hope you're able to get some rest

roxiesmom: way to be productive!

LittleBird: I have to respectfully disagree with you - there's nothing about you that is fake! Your confidence is real - it's in understanding how it motivates your actions that you can find ways to use it productively. And if you can find a way to set boundaries that are realistic, you might be able to lessen (or avoid altogether) the depression that could be triggered by tasks not finished..

thinker: hope today is a better day.

me: up too early, because of a stupid smoke alarm beeping to tell me to change the battery. Guess I'm tired and cranky...depression is still there but feels like it might be more manageable today. Let's see if I actually get anything done.