Hijacking and remaining stable?

I'm still doing ok; never really felt scared as such, but think I was very aware of the situation- could have been death, murder, torture or rape. I was lucky. But it wasn't a great experience. I've kept my head above water, just a bit of Klonopin and sleeping aid, and hope I can just push though and continue with life. Pls don't tell me there HAS to be a different course of events and emotions I need to go through. I still feel kind of numb, and every now and again I have flash-backs. They put me back in the car, told me they didn't have weapons, but I swear I heard a gun being cocked. Even then I was so utterly relaxed; it's absurd. They dropped me off after about 10mins and 10km, in an area I didn't know too well, but it wasn't totally dangerous, I hitch-hiked to a police station where I could fone my boyfriend. They gave me back my SIM card and bank cards; the rest is gone. But I'm safe, not hurt, and alive.
Gosh-i hate these people!!!
I'm just getting on with life; being surrounded by people @ work and keeping busy seems ok. 0.5mg Klonopin is making me a bit of a zombie, but I'll accept it.
Gonna need a bit of support from you guys. Sorry for ranting and seeming soft.

Dude, you're not soft. I can't believe you've gone through that experience! I am so glad that you are safe, sugahorse.

((HUGS))

so sorry you went through that.

holy hell, I am glad you are okay...

give it a time to proceed it.

Thanks. I am just going with the motions. Surprised I'm not feeling more emotional than I should

Hang in there, Suga. Mega sympathies.

Thanks Tsunami too

Wow Sugahorse! I can't believe you are handling so well. I'm glad you are keeping yourself busy - just take things day by day. Make sure you talk to your T about this when you are ready.

Thank God you're ok Jackie!

Oh my goodness! What an ordeal. So glad you are okay.

I am glad you're OK. What a scary thing to go through!

I sometimes think the reality has not quite hit me. I feel very depersonalised and just go through the motions. Sometimes someone will say something and I'll totally over-react. Haven't told any of my colleagues yet, and when I needed a claim form for my car insurance from my line-manager, I just told him my car was stolen. Texted my T, but not sure what I wanted to hear from her.
I really just feel zoned out.
Supposed to write an exam on Fri, but not sure how clever that's going to be.
Worried I'll be hit by a tidal wave of emotions at some stage, but not sure if or when

Do you have any vacation or personal time you can take? You might need a few days off when those emotions hit you.

I have got leave due; will see when I need to use it

Book ur leave hun...

Suga, that wave is likely to come. It hits most of us hard when something traumatic like that happens. When we are already dealing with other issues, it can only compound it. Like Trippin says - book that leave, or at least get your T in on the picture with an arrangement that you can deal with the flood of emotions when they occur, and not have to wait for an appointment for when it is more convenient for everybody.
(((Suga)))

I am sorry that happened to you. It would have frightened me. I am not completely surprised that you are numb right now. Your brain is protecting you from those emotions, but they will eventually flood you and I agree with those saying you should take a couple weeks off work and talk to your T about it.

Take care of yourself.

You're doing really well my dear, don't question your reactions
I also agree with the others about the leave and talking to your T...Then deal with the emotions as they come

Bear hugs!

Ohhhhhhhh Jackie! Now I see what you were referring to in the email before!!! This is surreal! How horrendous!!!! You're delivering this news almost like it was a weather report. I want someone around you when the wall crumbles. I pray it doesn't but I can't see how it won't. You've taken a huge step putting this down in writing. Take another one now..........and talk to someone you trust. I am so, so sorry, and shocked, that this happened to you........let your guard down in a safe place. You'll hear again from me soon. Sending you hugs of love and support.........always your friend........grey

Whoa! Glad you're okay.

OMG, Jackie! I'm soooo glad you made it through ok! Don't worry about if you are feeling numb, or not feeling as emotional as you think you should. There is no should. Everything processes in our own time and our own way.
Know that you will be very much in my thoughts. Please do not hesistate in the least to avail yourself of the support here as you work through this.
I know that you were getting on a lighter schedule with your T... do you still have some appts with them though? If not, it would be a good idea to check in, so as to have that safety net also in place...
Much

totally agree with IZ there is no should....
sorry I only just caught this thread... so glad you are ok. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself the time and space you need to process this.
Thinking of you

Thanks everyone. I did text my T on Monday. Decided to omit all this trauma counselling stuff because I don't feel anything. Maybe im just a'strong' person? I never did think of myself as such.
I have tapered off my T sessions, even to monthly as per my request, but I do know she's a step away. Taking a Klonopin in the AM and 1/2 sleeping tab in the evening.
I just don't want to be the centre of attention. At work I mentioned it to my Insurance department, and probably to a friend I can trust. A kind of mentor, as I have this tendency.
I noticed yesterday hoe, while I was with my bf and his friend at a pub, it suddenly hit me how I needed to be home. I almost panicked. Luckily it seems he understood and we got out of there quickly, but it was scary and strange. I got a hire car, but at the moment I'm only driving from one secure parking lot at home, to another @ work. I had my bf meet me outside his offices last night (where the hijacking took place) because I was not going to park without someone in attendance.
Been 3.5 days now.
I really appreciate your thought, support and concern and check in frequently to what you have to say

I can't imagine how traumatic this was and will be for you! I'm sorry you went through this terrible thing.

You take such good care of yourself, suga...maybe you're calling on those reserves of strength you've built up.