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#1
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i just want to get a general consensus from everyone.
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#2
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the hypmanic part leading up to the mania feels great, I am on top of the world. I don't need sleep, or food, I just want to go go go!! I feel amazing, and so does everything else. Till I get to full blown mania and things take a nasty turn. The thoughts are so fast and fragmented, I become so agitated that I will pace for 16 hours a day. I cannot function at all. Psychosis steps in. It is anything but a good experience. Then I know it is hospital time. I am so low functioning at this point. I wish I could explain it better.
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![]() Tsunamisurfer
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#3
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The need to talk is HUGE with me. Not being able to sleep. Feeling like I can do almost anything. Euphoric. Music is just incredible. Lots of energy, lots and lots of that. Starting all kinds of projects. Feeling intellectually superior to most people. All of that over and over again. Going in circles about all my plans. It feels good but this time I went into a bad psychosis. It was terrifying. I though ppl were out to get me even my family. I didn't sleep or eat for 5 days and things went bad fast. I was on a blog talking about some abuse I went through and spent all my time on there stating June 1st. It was a bad manic episode that led me to the hospital. I couldn't stop thinking I have to save these victims and then I ended up thinking they were out to get me too.
Now I just can't go on there. Brings up too much I also have PTSD. So I have to be careful what I spend my time on. If it just reopens that scab why do it, know what I mean. Sorry rambling. |
![]() edeneen
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#4
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Oh also irritable and sometimes very angry through out that. Sorry forgot to add that.
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#5
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Leading up to Mania(Hypo-Mania) I feel fantastic I feel I can do anything I want. I also feel the need to talk, the need to move about alot more and the need to start new things.
Mania feels like I am a Superhero and I don't need sleep, food/drink, don't need to wash and also that I have Super powers and no-one else would understand them.... this is generally when I am in a Psychosis oops!! |
#6
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Being manic to me is total euphoria, pressured speech, cannot stop talking, buying sprees and looking outside at everything and thinking "WOW", everything is so beautiful and what a damn good creation we live in, driving too fast which has caused me to have about 3 accidents a year.
I got my license taken away from me for about a year and it was the most miserable experience in my life. Then, sometimes my mania goes into psychosis and that's when I end up in the ER and don't remember a ****ing thing that I do when in this state. I hardly ever get the dysphoric agitated manias, except when I am on certain antidepressants like Remeron or Wellbutrin, so I steer clear of all antidepressants for that very reason.
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#7
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Go...go go go gogogogogogogogogogogogogogogogoogogogogogogogogogogogogogogo!
__________________
You are not drunk unless you have to hang on while lying on the floor. |
![]() BlackPup, espritlibre
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#8
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I'd just like to thank you for starting this thread, Laura. There are so many of us, even here on PC, who have no idea what "the other guys" are going through. So I think there should be many, many threads like this for many different kinds of diagnoses and mental situations. Not just for the education of PC members, but for those on the outside too.
Mental illness, for most of the outside world, still has a "fog of unknowing" covering it. And those of us with mental problems all too frequently just know our own little corner of "paradise." Personally, I don't think we can make enough progress with the outside world unless we work together to make "them" (supposedly normal people) understand what things look like from the inside of our diagnoses. All the statements and affirmations by "authorities" to the effect that the mentally ill aren't dangerous and deserve everyone's support are worthless unless the "normal" are presented with some dramatically realistic portrayals and descriptions of the "insides" of mental illness. In other words, no more "Snake Pits" or "Cuckoo's Nests," thank you very much. Your thread is appreciated. Take care. ![]()
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We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
![]() espritlibre, simoneadams91, SunAngel, venusss
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#9
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Quote:
__________________
You are not drunk unless you have to hang on while lying on the floor. |
![]() espritlibre, SunAngel
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#10
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i never get full blown mania, but hypo-mania is ...just fun..i always think this is normal this should be how i feel..i bet this is how other people get to feel all the time! (i also go off meds because i feel i'm cured)I get obsessed with a project and stop sleeping, all of my waking hours are devoted to perusing whatever project it is.I spend thousands of dollars on whatever for my project. If something happens to prevent me from doing my project i either lash out violently, verbally abusively or cry.I can't think clearly about anything really because i am so excited. When i am having a really good conversation my chin starts quivering with anticipation of when i will get to talk. My body will shake if it's really good. I also start to think about how brilliant i am, and i KNOW i am far superior to any one else. ...which is of course is not true.
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![]() SunAngel, Ygrec23
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#11
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I think that I can conquer the world, and everything has to been done as quickly as possible, plus I talk all the time, feel like I don't need to eat or sleep (I usually end up losing weight) I also think that I don't get the attention I'm deserved so I usually end up having an affair with some random person I would never consider being with, which in turn really does not help my marriage. My episodes last for months at a time.
Oh and I also tend to lash out at my husband for no apparent reason, and I spend money like crazy. |
![]() Ygrec23
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#12
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When I turn hypo-manic, its just like when the guy in Limitless takes that clear pill. The whole world turns a different color, he seems to separate from himself. Just the way he walks through people reminds of mania. " I don't have delusions of grandeur, I have an actual recipe for grandeur."
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![]() Ygrec23
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#13
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Ugh post got eaten. Hate this keyboard.
I have thought people were following me. (Paranoia) I have walked detached from myself feeling in another world, the colors of my surroundings were very vivid (depersonalization/derealization). I have seen people wak onto a porch and then disappear. (hallucination) I have heard voices calling me while home alone only to open the door and see noone. (hallucination) I have had the cable tv transmitter start playing music - 1930s jazz with muted trumpet- and talk to me saying things like "Look at me! Listen to me!" (Hallucinations) Sometimes I just feel crummy - aggitated and crying and wound up (mixed state). Sometimes I cry for no reason- (mixed state) Sometimes I run and sing at the top of my lungs. (Hypomania) Sometimes I wander for 2 days straight and don't sleep and talk everybody's ears off. (Mania) Sometimes I stand at a balcony and know that I can fly and think about it but stop because if I'm wrong I'll upset the old ladies shopping below. (Mania) Sometimes I have sex with strangers or beg a non-stranger for sex. Sometimes I just am extremely friendly and "touchy feelie" with friends (mania) Once, I suddenly realized the "thread that binds the meaning of my life together". (Uh, dunno what to call this one!) A few times, I saw myself ripping the spines out of people or crushing their skulls- every bit as vivid as real life, but superimposed on real life. I had no control over it. (Horror Movie Hallucinations) Sometimes, when I am in a public place, like a restaurant, the noise level becomes too much. Its no longer a "din". Its every single noise that is being made individually on top of every other noise. It is overwhelming and almost scary and definitely anxiety-producing. |
![]() espritlibre
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#14
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Quote:
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__________________
We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
#15
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Quote:
![]()
__________________
We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23 ![]() |
#16
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When I'm manic I don't get giddy, but I will find myself doing things I will regret later, like a shopping spree, or giving money to friends if they need help (that they never pay back). Then I become rageful. People must wonder if there is someone else who lives here because I'm sure they can hear me yelling. It becomes all consuming, and I make it worse by isolating myself so that I'm not affecting others. Yet I need to talk it out. When I finally crash I am out for days, unable to get out of bed. It's an endless cycle between rage and deep sadness/emptiness. When I finally come out of it I am just ditsy and confused, disoriented, you name it. There never seems to be a time when I can just feel peaceful.
__________________
As I lay down in bed each night I look up at the stars and wonder "where the heck is my ceiling?" ![]() |
![]() Ygrec23
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#17
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Quote:
Last edited by Moose72; Sep 15, 2011 at 09:36 AM. |
![]() Ygrec23
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#18
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Yes Laura!! THANK YOU for starting this tread!!
For me I become functional... I am able to get out of bed and do my chores and even have extra energy to cook a few meals. I am quick witted and and friendly. I am not thinking about my past or worrying about my future. I may start a new project and begin looking for a job. I think to myself " this must be how normal people function." There is also the time when I am short tempered and will snap at friends for no reason. Then I get calm and I know I am heading into depression...again. |
#19
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When I'm in hypomanic state I really dont realise thats when trouble follows.I feel like I have the gift of flight and can sore high above the clouds and think that I need a high place for take off and lift.I have been banned from driving and am currently banned as I'm told I can't co-ordinate my thinking.I have lots of amazing and weird ideas.I don't sleep for deays at a time this then leads to full blown mania and psychosis wich I usually have no recollection of what I have said or done.I become very religious and feel I am gods chosen messiah to heal the world and spread love and peace.I become obsessed with world piolitics and talk non stop about what they are doing to the global world.My thoughts become overwhelming tro the point where I see no other way out but "S".This normally results in hospitalisation and lots of meds.Then depression kicks in and I literally can not deal with any day to day activities.I don't wash or eat.So all in all I love hypo mania but not everything else that comes with being bi polar.I really don't like taking the meds either so when I'm full blown manic it's a very good bet I have not had my meds.
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![]() Ygrec23
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#20
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For me being manic feels like one big adrenile rush. It feels great. I feel great. No sleep. No meds. In a sick way when I get like that and dont take my meds I almost feel normal. Odd uh?
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#21
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You know that feeling you get right after a close call, ie almost getting in a car wreck? Legs numb, heart and mind racing, life flashing before your eyes?
Its sorta like that, just all the time.
__________________
BIG changes on the horizon ![]() Hopin' it all goes well... Oxcarbazepine: 300mg 2x/day Fish Oil, Vitamin D3, Magnesium, Lipitor, BEta-Blocker |
#22
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Erratic==that is all
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![]() SunAngel
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#23
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Well, the hypomanic stage for me is great for the most part. I feel sexy, edgy, and like I can do absolutely anything, and no one can stop me.
Then i crash, and i feel like I'm fat, ugly, and i don't deserve to live. I guess... to me it feels absolutely chaotic. You go from feeling great, to feeling horrible in a matter of minute/hours and sometimes even days. ![]() |
#24
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I take on a new idea and become obsessed. I often have conversations with people but I am also having the same conversation in my head and stop mid sentence and answer my own question. I act irrational, and if any small problem pops up I become extremely irritable. I have described it to others as I can't even stand being around myself I'm so miserable. I often make large purchases also.
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#25
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Everything is illuminated. Heightened creativity. Sense of oneness with the universe. Ideas of reference (everything is connected to me somehow). Acute senses - which results in fixations on fashion (drawn to loud prints/color) and music. Utter confidence that I am (somehow) rich and famous. Impulsive/irrational decision making.
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