Relationships and bipolar

Has anyone ever lost a relationship due to bipolar illness and deppression? I have been manic only a few times but I have been moderately deppressed for years. I was really in love once. He left me because my deppression rubbed off on him. Can anyone relate?

I can certainly relate.
Though at the times they happened I chalked it all off to something else. These days I can't even think about getting into a relationship, because of my bipolar.

Hi. I'm in a little different situation, but I can definitely relate. I've been married for some years now, but it has been a roller coaster ride, much like my moods. Being in a relationship is hard for me, let alone being married. I realize I am not easy to be with, and it almost ended my marriage at one point when my BP was out of control. However, I'm much more stable now and feel I can deal with issues a lot better than I used to. I'm also very lucky because my wife is very patient and she saw how broken I was when things got bad. She stuck by me and said she always knew that I had issues, but that it was worth dealing with the bad because she also liked the good things about me. So, I am lucky, but I know from first hand experience that there are people out there who can love someone with BP and be sensitive to the things we face in our lives. Don't let it get you down. It took me awhile to find someone, but I eventually did.

I haven't lost a relationship due to it, but if I complain that I'm depressed too much my husband internalizes it and thinks it's his fault. I don't want him to believe that, so I try my best to be happy even when I'm not.

I have lost a few short relationships with guys cause of the mania.

But equally I have lost friendships cause of both the mania and the depression. You definately find out who your real friends are when you are ill. I found out the hard way

I left my partner of two years during a manic episode. I ran off with a complete stranger I met in a cafe. It was really unusual behavior for me. There were problems in my relationship. My partner didn't have much time for me. I tend to get to know someone for a long time before I get involved. I just jumped into the arms of this stranger without a thought. When the manic episode subsided it was quite a shock. I left the stranger.

Did my best to throw out my marriage on a mania. We were unhappy with each other for other reasons anyway, then I decided to go looking for an old lover of mine I had searched for before. Finally found her this time, left my wife and kids for her, had 3-4 months of wild passionate romance and planning for the perfect future together before it all blew up. Trying to clean up the aftermath now and put my life and marriage back together, but it's a slow difficult process with no guarantees. Bipolar can play havoc with relationships, I learned the hard way.

Looking back, I didn't know it was mania at the time, I cheated on my bf of 6 yrs with 3 guys in one week and ended up moving in with the last one. It all happened within a week omg lol. No wonder I was so confused back then lol. The guy was a douche so no biggie. I have definitely lost some friends over it and family as well (extended). The fight or flight is always and prob always will be fight. Damn

I can really relate. My symptoms are almost just like yours. Just before I was diagnosed bipolar about 10 years ago, I had a relationship end because she "couldn't handle" my "ups and downs."

I later was in a relationship off and on for five years that was also affected when I became psychotic off medication.

I can deffinately relate to this. I was with a guy once. He was really good for me to. I had a mania episoide and left him. I have no idea why.Been married 3x also. Being in a relationship is really hard. I'm in one now .Last week i had a verry bad episode and packed up. He talked to me and got through. This guy is amazing. He's willing to help me all he can. I made an emergency appointment with my dr. Relationships and mental illness is very dificult to deal with. It takes a very strong man or women to be able to stand beside us and help us.I'm still fighting my mood swings every day.

I lost my marriage due to a manic episode. Thankfully, my husband was forgiving and we are working things out. It does take a very understanding person to deal with what they have to deal with just to love us. They have to study the disease and understand it before they will ever come close to understanding the things we can do or the ways we can act. Its hard to have a relationship with us, but there are very loving and understanding people out there who know we are worth the struggle they may go through from time to time.

I think so... Idk coz he just dissapeared after nearly 3yrs, that was in October... He contacted me in february but didn't offer any explanation, and I don't expect to ever hear from him again. He was a good sport, über supportive, I think he just reached his limit and self-preservation won. I'm not exactly a walk in the park...

Want to hear a great big WTH? Bit of background: My ex is a VERY patient and VERY stable guy. He put up with me for 25 years(!), which, unto itself is undoubtedly grounds for sainthood, LOL! (We also very much had his own life and he ignored a lot of things, which surely helped.) So, anyway, we were getting divorced (my doing) about... 1/2 year after finally officially being dx'd (Amazing to have avoided this for so long, as there was nothing subtle about the "clues". They were big red waving flags). Ok. So after ALL THAT TIME (not that he hadn't made comments a'plenty regarding my behavior all those years) --25 YEARS-- he declares:
"I just can't handle your mood swings anymore."

Isn't that the kookiest thing you ever heard?! I'm sure it was a reaction to my being the one to wrap it up and take off, but still(!) Looking back, I know now that I was hypomanic at the time. Had considered it a lot and was convinced I wasn't though (lack of insight much?!) But here are the facts: I was going out on the town a LOT, virtually every night and partying. Staying up till all hours, then being up and at work a few short hours later. Though I really didn't associate much with people at work, they kept commenting that something was really different about my demeanor. Know what it was? Online, someone I really didn't know (only through buying some things from him off Ebay of all things!) had contacted me, we struck up an email relationship that quickly progressed to phone, then meeting in a city I'd travelled to (not just for that, it was where I wanted to live after divorce). I'd gone positively electric over this, and before, what?, 3 1/2 days? of being together in person, I suggested we move there together(!!!) From first email to getting divorced to living together? 2 1/2 months. And I'd convinced myself I wasn't hypomanic? Lol.

How contrary was this to my usual behavior? In 25 years, I had NEVER cheated (mentally yes, but physically in any way, no)! It was the one diagnostic criteria that never got out of hand. Turned out there was a whole lot I didn't know about this person (really?!), but we do live together to this day, albeit much more tempestuously (he has psych dxs too) -- in very good and not-so good ways --than years previous when I was the only one who was a handful. (My ex ended up with a nice, but very dull woman, in both personality and appearance. I figured after being exhausted by having the whole spice cabinet, a burlap bag of potatoes looked pretty good. Not saying it to be mean. We're all truly and totally amiable. Just that the difference was hugely striking.)

Is BP rough on relationships? Oh yeah. Then there's the kid, other family, people at work (especially bosses)...

(*Oh. I should mention that we had already been talking separation and divorce before all this went down, but it doesn't change a whole lot. Oh. And I'd been very suicidal (totally unrelated to relationship thing, that was a relief for being put off far too long) not long before striking up the other relationship. I saw it as a sign.)

I don't know what causes those of us who have an inherited gene for bipolar illness to have instability at times. I know that the illness is a chemical imbalance and an inflammation of a certain portion of the brain that fires too rapidly, but what to do about it is my concern.

I think we all may be born with a strong sensitivity (much like artists are), and
while medications can help to alleviate the chemical imbalance, it takes some good
work on our parts to heal.

Like the alcoholic, relying on a "Higher Power" brought real stability to my life and helped me see clearly when others were operating from a level of intelligence and
using their reason.

I take 10 mg. of Prozac once daily, meditate from time to time, read a good bit
about various religious beliefs, and think the best about others unless or until they show me that they are not dealing from a sincere level of reality and thought.

As for improving calmness, I use real lemon juice (not canned or bottled), squeezed and stirred into a glass of ice cold water. While the little lemon does taste bitter, it is alkaline in digestion and provides a really strong calming effect on the system. I like it.

I wish you all the best in finding what works for you to have a balanced and healthy day tomorrow and the day after, working to keep the chemistry balanced.

Best wishes,

Genetic

I had an ex leave me due to all the mania and hospitalizations. He did help my depression along by making me feel worthless through that whole relationship. I am with someone now who is scared by my anger and mood swings, but still sticks by me. So yes, it's hard but it can be done

Agreed. It can. We just (unintentionally) put it to more of a test than the average bear! Anger (and in my case, sometimes flat-out rage) does tend to scare the bejeebers out of them. Freaked current BF out, that's for sure. I remember one of the lesser ones (merely throwing a few utensils then standing in a corner screaming), he said, "Yikes! Mellow out -- we don't want somebody calling the cops!" But when flat-out mixed episode rage hit one time? He went outside. It was too scary inside. I was raging at myself, he wasn't in any danger, but I'm sure he couldn't know for sure. That can't be easy for them.

Been thinking on this topic. Reading on the forums here, it seems more people speak of losing people over manias (but maybe this is just a perception). I lose them in depression, probably mostly on account of a huge tendency to isolate. It probably seems I've fallen off the planet, or worse, that I don't like them anymore or something. I'm not good at fixing those bridges. The other hypomanic/irritability/rage end of the spectrum, most bad effects are on those at home (inner circle), and total strangers (outer circle) who piss me off. Those in the middle circle tend to see more the sometimes overwhelming, but usually amusing parts of it (quick with the joke etc.). I'm quick to mend the inner circle damage, because I feel really horrible about it. Well, apologize. It helps balance it out, but can never really fix it.

Yeah, it's no picnic.

Mood swings are pretty much what finished off me and my ex-fiance of 4 years. Of course, neither one of us knew what the heck was going on with me at the time.

The big issue I seem to have is not being able to get a relationship started. Seems I get sniffed out by the third or fourth date.

By the way, God bless every one of you.

Don't fret. It may seem hopeless. I have been engaged twice to two women I thought I would spend the rest of my life but I guess some people just can't handle all the baggage that comes with some one with bipolar disorder. Mine happens to be ultradian cycling so intellectually I understand what it would do to a relationship in any circumstance. I was always one to just give my heart away but every relationship ended because of me reflecting back on it now. I promise you though there is hope. It just takes that one person who just wants to understand you and who is completely fascinated with what you are. I think I found her. I have faith in you too, but still be cautious with love.

thank you for the interesting thread - i have lost many r'ships and friendships due to my moodswings - i had no idea about myself at the time tho and blamed therest of the world for how i felt

i am very lucky that i have met a fantastic man who loves me for all the sides to me that there are, he is patient and doesnt take things to heart. he is as immovable as a rock when i try and push him away too. we think it helps that he is a bit narcissistic ;-) we also think it helps that his prev r'ship was with someone who had much worse MH problems but no idea she has them (is still blaming the rest of the world for how she feels, like i used to) - he says its a relief to be with me - i spose the novelty could wear off though!

I was in a relationship for over 10 years suffering from bipolar myself however my girl friend had OCD . I think looking back it was for the best the relationship ended life too short like you I was very much in love dustystar13