What is your most problematic Bipolar symptom?

Mine is probably impaired judgement.

Moods come and go, and I live through them: pick myself up eventually, dust off and carry on. But having the sense of deep insight that others appear not to comprehend, then feeling like a complete fool who has no ability to judge social situations leaves me really confused most of the time. My foundations seem to shift so frequently that life seems so transient, fragile and unreal - like in a computer game where the programmer changes the rules without telling you several times during each game. What meaningful contributions can I possibly make when so confused?

It keeps me from carrying out new plans to achieve something in life. I doubt whether I will carry it through, or whether it is even relevant. How will I feel about my new pursuit in a weeks time? There are so many examples of investments (not just financial) that I regret later. So many people I have embarrassed.

What about you guys? What is it about Bipolar that you struggle with the most?

How do you deal with it?

Hmmm I guess for me it's social aspect. Im extremely sensitive to what other people are feeling that I will shut down to protect myself from being embarassed by my bp and being hurt because of my bp.

I have to go with keeping a job, and finishing the things that I start. Some people in my life tell me that I am just lazy and unmotivated. However, I know this is wrong and these people just do not understand me. For example I have been going to school since 2004 and I have yet to finish a degree of any kind. I have changed my major about 4 times. I may just be scared of what comes next. To answer your question on how I deal with this... I don't know I just keep going day by day and trusting the light that leads me on. I sometimes wish that there was a book, a manual to my life that I could just turn to a page and it would tell me what to do. However if this book was there then life would just be dull and boring.. yes a lot easier, but dull and boring.
I cannot seam to make up my mind even on the littlest task. For example, what shoes am I going to wear today? I spend so much time dwelling on little things like that i find it hard to live to the fullest sometimes.
hope this helps

I cannot seam to make up my mind even on the littlest task. For example, what shoes am I going to wear today? I spend so much time dwelling on little things like that i find it hard to live to the fullest sometimes.
hope this helps

This totally sounds like me. I can not get started with my days sometimes because I dont know what to wear, or I dont get the house work done because I cant figure out where to start and I just stew over it all day and get nothing done. Its and endless cycle. Ugh.... it gets to me so bad. I always ask myself why cant I just be normal. i often wonder if my family says this about me too.

I would have to say that the impaired judgement has had the most detrimental blast to my life. (running off with another man because God sent him) just to name one of the big ones. Many many smaller things. Like shopping as thereapy. Yeah its not really meant to be done in the manner I do it. Spending thousands on unnecessary things. Sometimes just believing in things so much just to turn around and find out I just looked such a fool for even starting to think it could be so.

Debilitating bouts of suicidal depression during mixed episodes.

When I am hypomanic, it's the money spending and sexual things I do that I end up regretting when I come down. I think I am dealing with those for the first time ever as I've caught myself in a HM state for the first time ever. Knowing, I hope, will help me to stop short of doing things I regret.

When I am depressed I isolate and push others away by being mean or telling them to just forget I exist. I've ruined a great relationship a few times over doing this. My hope is that the recent therapy I've gone through will help me to deal with depression a lot better than I have the past year.

This for me too.

Less serious, but annoying, hypersexuality during my manic states. No infidelity, but I know it is annoying for my spouse.

For me it's the lack of focus and racing thoughts. I can't read. I make mistakes. I lose everything. I forget what I was doing and saying. I can't get organized. The level of disorganization of thoughts has a profound effect in my life that is tremendous.

Being angrily pissed off my now ex spouse has been the most catastrophic

Yes. THIS.

I also have big problems with impaired judgment during episodes, that always come back to haunt me during the 'normal' times. I HATE that.

For me, it's thinking too much about too many things and then having to turn to
meditation to re-establish the calm.

I ought to be grateful for the thinking, I guess, but it's always there without a little medication. And it gets in my way of getting things done.

Sewing helps to relieve some of it. I guess psychologically, sewing means I'm making the effort to heal blows to the psyche. I don't know. See what I mean?

Genetic

Have you tried knitting? Does it have the same effect as sewing? I'm wondering.

I deal with these daily:

Racing thoughts
Suicidal thoughts
Memory problems
Rapid cycling

Ah those are enough for now ... Im already depressed looking at my list

I used to crochet for hours on end while depressed. Made three big blankets one summer. I could veg in front of the tv and still feel like I was accomplishing something.

My most annoying and problematic symptom, besides too d*** many medications, is the winter depressions that happen every single year. It drains my creativity and makes me just want to get thru the school day so I can stop having to function. (I homeschool.) I know I could give so much more if it weren't for this. But at least having school to focus on gives me a reason to function, so I guess it could be a lot worse... And I'm doing something I love, it's fun, it's challenging, and it keeps me alive. But I sure would enjoy winter more if they could just find me a serotonin a-d that I'm not allergic to!

Overall, having to struggle with not getting depressed, I think. But then there have been those times when I couldn't stop talking or doing. I'm glad at least they haven't happened too often.

Half of the year I'm depressed, and half of the year I'm hypomanic (which often turns to mania in the winter). When I'm depressed, there's the suicidal thoughts and inability to care about or focus on my work or classes. Plus, I gain a substantial amount of weight. Last year I gained (and lost during my hypomania) 30-35 lbs. I'm lucky it evened out but I hate how obvious it is that something is up with me. I get treated so much differently because of it.

Yes, I've knitted hats for charity; I'm left-handed, however, and I'm not
sure that all left-handed people manage knitting too well. Maybe most do.

It doesn't have the same effect as sewing for me, because sewing moves
along the assembly line faster, I think. Results are more quickly seen for me.

Does a sun light help for you in winter? I've read that some are very
beneficial.

Genetic

A sun light helps some, yes, but not enough. None of the over the counter stuff helps enough. I have a sun light in storage somewhere, but I haven't been able to find it since I moved, three years ago. I'm thinking of just getting a new one, because my bedroom is in the basement - no windows - and that's where we hold school. The sun light would be helpful to both of us.

I'd say the sensitivity related to how I affect others and how they perceive me. I guess this is really two different things, paranoia and anxiety, but it's crippling nonetheless.

These probably take the cake but so many of my symptoms are so damn annoying/crippling. The confusion definitely sucks.

I crochet. Well, I used to. But racing thoughts + crochet = no crochet... I try but I get frustrated very easily.

I can't meditate. Racing thoughts + meditation = no meditation. If you've seen the clockwork orange, I'd say meditation during my racing thoughts = that scene where they strap him down and force his eyes open and make him watch all of those crazy, unorganized clips. Can't clear the mind.

That's actually a really good example of what goes on in the mind. I've seen the movie and am a fan but I never made that connection. Anyhow, really random of me but good analogy.

The suicidal episodes are bad but I'd say the worst thing is that I can't get my life together. I can't finish any degree or get accepted at least. I can't get or keep a job. My last job i was a great employee until I had an episode at work and they sent me home. The saddest of all is I can't support myself or my kids even though I try everyday to make their childhoods happy and memorable.

I figure I'm doing well on a bad day if I'm doing fun things to soothe myself. That's what pdoc said. Coping techniques. I have a list. And yet even soothing myself makes me feel guilty.

Moose, you know that you're a good parent. Happiness isn't all about money. You really love your kids and it's awesome that you are doing whatever you can to give them happy memorable childhoods.

I grew up really poor. My mom couldn't find a full time job due to being "over educated" and then on top of that she had cancer and was sick a lot, so her treatments took tons of our money. Anyway, I have really great and happy memories of my mom teaching me about art and history and telling me stories. My childhood would not have had much happiness without that. So, don't be hard on yourself.