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#76
Jun 24, 2013, 12:04 PM
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#77
Jun 24, 2013, 12:06 PM
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#78
Jun 24, 2013, 12:16 PM
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I'm spinning right now and can't finish my thoughts perfectly, but know that we all, at one time or another, think that what we've been diagnosed with isn't true. At least that's been my observation after 27 years.
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#79
Jun 24, 2013, 12:26 PM
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i was really really stressed and depressed for last few days... still i am, but i shouldn't forget life is meaningless... i listened Adele - Skyfall for 10 times today... it suits my mood...
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I am lost in my own mind !  Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams !  Dx - Bipolar II  I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!!
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#80
Jun 24, 2013, 02:46 PM
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Feeling really stressed out today and its causing me to become depressed. Feel pretty hopeless and like a failure, want to give up on life. I'm tired of this mood merry go round. I just want to be stable. Why is that to much to ask for?
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Trying to take it one day at a time. |
 A Red Panda
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#81
Jun 24, 2013, 03:14 PM
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I am okay today but nervous because I am having some tests done for some medical issues I am having. So, that has me anxious and had a bad panic attack the other night.
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*Melissa* Dx: Bipolar type 1 with panic attacks Rx: Effexor XR 225mgs, Lamictal 300mgs, Topamax 150mgs, Seroquel 800mgs, Xanax 0.5mgs prn |
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#82
Jun 24, 2013, 07:10 PM
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Today I was tired (I actually had a good sleep yesterday, but it was a long day at work) and I wasn't too impressed at having to go get my prescription for lamictal AND get groceries...
anyway. was wandering around in WalMart while I waited for the lamictal to be filled.... and I spent $200. On what you may ask? - Scattergories - 1st and 2nd season of Gargoyles - 1st two dvd sets of "Dinosaurs" - Tale Spin - Darkwing Duck - Homeward bound - Matilda - Fox and the Hound - Pixar Shorts Then I went and spent $100 on two shirts and a pair of capris. Then over $100 on groceries (I was honestly out of pretty much everything but I'm not really sure what I bought!) GOODNESS. I just couldn't resist the dvds because c'mon now, they're not easy to find ones!!
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| roads
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#83
Jun 24, 2013, 07:29 PM
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OMG I had this happen to me at Walmart too this weekend! (I mean the "how the hell did I just spend $200" moment.)
That is a FABULOUS collection of DVDs, btw. Darkwing Duck was always my fave.  Right now I'm vegging out on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Mondays are always extra annoying for me. I have a few meetings at work, and I know it makes me sound needy, but I really hate meetings.
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.age: 34 female .bipolar I .psychosis .panic/anxiety disorder Seroquel XR 100mg Labetalol for high blood pressure
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#84
Jun 24, 2013, 07:33 PM
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I know, right?! I just couldn't put any of them down and when I got to the check out I was like "dannnnnnngggg I haven't bought a single grown-up show! It's all kids stuff! I don't even have kids! Thank goodness I have students!!!"
But still. $200 on dvds and one boardgame?! Clearly I should have applied my rule for HMV to WalMart... but I just didn't notice! In fact... I forgot about Darkwing Duck and Talespin until after I got home (they were the first ones I picked up). I've got the pile sitting on the floor. Too embarassed (and finding it humourous at the same time) to even put them away or watch any!
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| roads
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#85
Jun 24, 2013, 07:35 PM
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Oh wow Darkwing Duck! Awesome!
I have spent so much money on a whole lot of things when I didn't realize how much I was spending. I have been there! Just relaxing now, had a really good day. I haven't been sick lately so I'm extra thankful for that. It is a nice cool night, and I'm very comfortable I hope summer stays nice like this
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Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
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#86
Jun 24, 2013, 07:39 PM
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Wow, CheshireCatGrin, wish they'd had the Lamictal ready for you & you could have taken it pronto and it acted instantly!
My my my ... ain't bipolar a drag? Especially on the finances ... Take the best care of you that you can, CheshireCatGrin. Roadie 
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roads & Charlie |
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#87
Jun 24, 2013, 07:53 PM
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I like to say that "money makes me crazy", and I laugh while I say it, but really... it's true.
This weekend, my mortgage was three weeks late. But instead of paying it and living off of $25 for the week (which is probably what I SHOULD have done) I just said "**** it. I'll do what I want. I'd rather have this new dress... and these new shoes... and this new foundation... and these weights... and get my husband these new tee shirts... instead of living off of $25 for the week" I mean, I have to buy groceries. So that right THERE is more than what I would have been left with after I paid my mortgage. COULD I have done it? Sure. I probably could have. Did I want to? Oh hell no. Probably a bad justification. But that's actually what went through my mind. Hell... it made sense to me at the time.
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.age: 34 female .bipolar I .psychosis .panic/anxiety disorder Seroquel XR 100mg Labetalol for high blood pressure
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#88
Jun 24, 2013, 07:55 PM
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I should add that I don't ever wear dresses. BUT I BOUGHT TWO OF THEM!
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.age: 34 female .bipolar I .psychosis .panic/anxiety disorder Seroquel XR 100mg Labetalol for high blood pressure
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#89
Jun 24, 2013, 08:03 PM
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LOL.
I bought flourescent yellow skinny jeans back in March. I've worn them twice, mostly out of obligation. But I certainly have wondered what on earth went through my brain when I decided those were a "yes, let's get this!" Fortunately I can actually afford this silly splurge - MOST of the time I'm excellent with my money... and ultimately I never spend what I can't afford (rent, student loan, and visa bills get paid pretty much ASAP!) I just sometimes do silly little purchases. I don't usually regret them, but I do often go "Ooookkkk seriously brain? That was a good idea today?!" But yes... I wish they could get prescriptions ready within five minutes, so that I wouldn't have to wander around in the store! haha.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#90
Jun 24, 2013, 08:06 PM
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Okay, a little angry though. Having issues dealing with choices. Some days are just well, different.
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| A Red Panda
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#91
Jun 24, 2013, 08:51 PM
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W.T.F.
Friend 2 (part of the same trio of friends as the one who was so very unsupportive) apparently told Friend 3 about my one night stand. Friend 3 just sent me a text asking for his number (guess they're working on a play together). Who the **** talks about that with someone else? My sex life is NOT a topic for conversation for other people! This after knowing already that they have kept tabs on me to make sure I wasn't suicidal (which I wasn't happy to know but I could appreciate the sentiment) to Friend 1 telling me to get over it all essentially... to this?! Why should I even trust these people?!
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Victoria'smom, ~Christina
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#92
Jun 24, 2013, 09:02 PM
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Seems when there is a "herd" of friends or even 3 , any and all info is talked about and picked to pieces... "Sex in the city" comes to mind.
Sorry this happened, It's horrible to have to question whom you can trust.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#93
Jun 24, 2013, 09:06 PM
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Thanks Christina...
I'm just dumbfounded that she'd ever consider that an appropriate topic for conversation! I would never talk about someone else's sex life... and can't imagine how anyone could think that was appropriate! Like.. I can get past them talking about me in regards to whether or not I seemed depressed or suicidal.... but to talk about my g***d*** sexlife?!?! I think it just hurts right now. I took a huge risk in trusting them... and clearly that was yet another mistake of mine. I won't make that same mistake with them again... and that's sad for me.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Anonymous45023, roads, ~Christina
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#94
Jun 24, 2013, 09:27 PM
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 Mostly ok over here. Weekend had me... vexed. See, BF and I are in a houseshare with 2 other people. Who both went on get aways. Yea! Place to ourselves! (Which is a vacation to us, as we can't afford to go anywhere). First night, totally exhausted and didn't even watch dvds. Second night, yeah, hey, let's get a fun little evening going, ya? Flirt flirt. "What's that? I thought I heard... nevermind..." Son of a...!!! The "challenging to live with" one is back, for no good reason whatsoever! Talk about a buzzkill. We hoped to at least get the weekend!!!...  So, yesterday a mix of numb incredulity and vexation. Today with work and everything, it was back to the same old, same old. Mood alright. |
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#95
Jun 25, 2013, 07:44 AM
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In between the euphoria and dysphoria, paranoia and anger I'm not finding time or energy to reply to people's posts, PMs and visitor messages. Sorry to anyone who's waiting for a reply.
 Maybe I should be content with whatever I am able to write and just send them.But now back to dancing, chatting and grinning for a while. 
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#96
Jun 25, 2013, 07:47 AM
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HMV - a movie/music store. They often have deals of 3 dvds for $30 - I set myself up a rule in university that I was allowed to POSSIBLY do two sets of that - because I can comfortably carry one full set of 3 in one hand. So... that has always been the standard rule with dvds! WHICH I clearly decided did not apply to WalMart!
Mandrec - that sounds like a lot going on at once! I'm sure everyone will be a-ok waiting for replies from you
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Anonymous32734
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#97
Jun 25, 2013, 09:15 AM
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Podcasts ACT: Taking Hurt to Hope Psych-Webinars Podcasts I hope these help. I find them really useful. |
 TippPatt
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#98
Jun 25, 2013, 11:38 AM
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I'm overthinking right now. I'm trying to find a rational way to respond to my upcoming SSI hearing before a Judge. That requires me putting together a file, from my perspective, that will over ride whatever the state can come up with to deny my case.
Because my father has been my only source of income from 2005 onward, if he were to pass, I'd be left with nothing. That means this case means my life as it goes forward from the time he passes. Just the thought of that moves me to crazy fright. Therefore, I am required by circumstance to maintain my control over the situation at hand and to ignore both my highs and lows via my BiPolar disease; to avoid my fears via the paranoia that surrounds me; to avoid the suicidal thoughts that are with me every moment of the day; and, to ignore the pain associated with the terrible, constant, chronic disease associated with the failure of my bone structure that continues to deteriorate on a daily basis. That's a huge mountain to climb, and I'm filled with trepidation at the very prospect of the coming months. Couple that with my abject fear of being Baker Acted at the hearing itself and you will see that I will remain 'jittery' for some time to come. To that end, thank you PC for allowing me to voice the state of mind I am in at this moment as I have not been able to obtain a therapist to help me through this coming time up and through the hearing date of August 14th, which being also my daughter's birthday, which in and of itself is a trigger of mine as I am estranged from my lovely little girl and have been for too many years. 
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< ----- > < ----- > |
| Anonymous45023, gary290, Victoria'smom, ~Christina
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#99
Jun 25, 2013, 12:08 PM
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 I have been depressed for weeks now, my mood have always fluctuated me often but I have been spiralling down and can't and to pull myself out of it this time. I wasn't the world to go away, I don't have the energy to fight today. It too everything I had to get out of bed and make breakfast. I don't know why I bothered I have been so depressed and upset that I can't keep food down but I woke up and started try. I want the voices, tears and the negativity to all disappear.
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| gary290
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#100
Jun 25, 2013, 12:25 PM
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I'm having an ok day today. The later part of yesterday wasn't really ok. My husband's grandfather died yesterday. My husband's dad is only paying my husband's fare to go to the funeral this weekend, so I felt left out. I ended up calling my therapist for advice and she told me some things to do. I feel bad for calling her and interrupting her night, but she said that she was glad I called and I should be proud for calling her. I have a kinda phobia of phones. I've never called one of my therapists before in the past. I'm glad I feel comfortable enough to call her when I need help.
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| Anonymous45023, gary290, Nessa213, ~Christina
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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