[breannanaomi47]

Hello fellow bipolar people my name is Breanna and I am a 15 year old girl whos life is being controlled by my mental illness, I cant even go to school its that bad and I feel im missing out on the best years of my life my moods are to unstable for school though. I had a very poor child hood which includes rape, neglect, physical abuse, foster care, and bullying so as you can see I never really had the chance to enjoy my youth but now that im in my teenage years I still cant catch a break I sometimes hear voices which petrify me and I have homicidal thoughts associated with my bippolar and anxiety disorder I am currently battling myself everyday praying for a cure or escape from this madness all I want is to know that there are others out there like me that im not the only one who has been screwed over in this game called life.

[Morigan]

Hi Breananaomi47

You are not alone. You did not have a childhood, like me. These things that happened to us is Fooked Up. There is nothing we can do about it. So lets look forward hey!

Your use of grammar and expressing yourself tells me that you are bright and have a great sense of humour.

Are you on any medication babes?
Go back to school. BP does not have to control your life.
( I KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU SAY IT DOES _ THE FEELING DOES NOT LAST FOREVER young padiwan )

I am 30. If I could write my 15 year old self a letter - it would pretty much be what i am doing right know

I hate to throw fortune cookie wisdom at you - but sometimes it helps

Adversity builds character. You already have so much. You can only get stronger.

I am sending you mental best wishes - I know your storm will settle soon.

Take care Breanna , baby steps!

[A Red Panda]

You're not alone Breanna!

I'm not sure if you want any advice, or what kind you are wanting, so I am going to try to refrain from that.

But there's a lot of us here who have had a huge amount of experience: there are members who also have hallucinations and delusions, there are members who struggle with thoughts about violence, there are members who have had their first manic episodes when young, there are members who can't remember a time in their life where there weren't signs of the the bipolar, and there are a lot of members here (not just bipolar members) who have suffered through abusive lives as well.

There are a lot of people who you will be able to relate to, ok?

Are you on medication to try to help?

[breannanaomi47]

thank you all! yes I am on meds I take Abilify and Seroquel once a day but I only started this new combination three days ago so i'm waiting to see what happens. I would love advice and to hear how you all cope. currently I cant go back to school because I am averaging three doctors appointments a week so its rough

[Speed3]

Hi Breanna,
I am so sorry for all the crap you have been through. But how brave of you to reach out.

There are people on here that have struggled with similar issues to yours.

My childhood wasn't the greatest, I had to take care of my alcoholic mother and had a medical condition that put me in a body cast for six months. I had my first depression at 15 it was so bad I never went to high school. I am 57, back then they never called it bipolar and there weren't any meds to take.

Even still it past on its own. By 19 I was living life again, went to college and had a wonderful career. My symptoms never showed up again until my late 30s. In that time I got married, had a son and had a lot of fun.

I do remember my life at 15. It was horrid, I thought my life would always be like that. I know right now you can't see things getting better. But they can and they will.

There are so many new medications that can help you. There are different types of therapy you can try. There are even different vitamins and supplements that may help.

You are a survivor and you are strong. You also deserve a wonderful life.

I look forward to getting to know you. You came to a good place.
Keep on posting.

[Muppy]

Hi, Breanna....I just want to wish you well as you journey to better mental health. Others before me have made comments, and have done so very well, about your loss of childhood and the struggles you face now. Your concerns about being alone are something not to worry about. I'm glad you've found PC, you'll find support here. I do hope you'll be able to find the mental health help that you so that you can have the happiness that you want.

[Victoria'smom]

My son is also unable to attend school due to instability. I also dropped out of high school for similar issues. My life improved so much when I moved to college. I have always had violent thoughts and hallucinations that scare the crap out of me. I have always had bipolar and anxiety but was only diagnosed at 22. So yes you have a lot of company. I have finally reached some stability to enjoy my family at 30 yrs old. welcome to the forum.

[breannanaomi47]

Thank you all for sharing your experiences I will admit I am a little better after my hospitalization it was not a fun experience but it was very rewarding. I honestly would not wish this on my most worst of enemies cause the whole thing has me feeling a bit discombobulated but I do have some hope for the future and, I am sorry to all who has to deal with any kind of mental illness whether it be depression or schizophrenia. Praying my meds work keeping fingers crossed

[BlueInanna]

Hi Breanna, welcome No you are not alone. You were robbed of your childhood I'm so sorry what you've been through. I was suicidal at 15, hypo/manic at 19 & dropped out of college. School can wait, you're taking care of your health. My 2 older kids are teens, also could not attend regular school due to bp instability. They are slowly working on independent studies and getting GED's. All 3 of us experience the scary violent thoughts too. There's a therapy called Mindfulness Therapy that has helped me more than anything. In private sessions we did some talk therapy and meditations where I learned to better listen to my body, breathing techniques for anxiety, and I made some peace with my innner dialogue. Realized how extreme my thoughts go and the catastrophic thinking I tend to do. Try to remember that life gets better. You are a strong young woman, smart & brave for reaching out for support. Childhood is lost, but there will be fun & happy times to be had as an adult. You will probably be much help to others in the future who need help because of everything you've been through. Hang in there sweetie, I hope things get better soon for you.

[breannanaomi47]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Hi Breanna, welcome No you are not alone. You were robbed of your childhood I'm so sorry what you've been through. I was suicidal at 15, hypo/manic at 19 & dropped out of college. School can wait, you're taking care of your health. My 2 older kids are teens, also could not attend regular school due to bp instability. They are slowly working on independent studies and getting GED's. All 3 of us experience the scary violent thoughts too. There's a therapy called Mindfulness Therapy that has helped me more than anything. In private sessions we did some talk therapy and meditations where I learned to better listen to my body, breathing techniques for anxiety, and I made some peace with my innner dialogue. Realized how extreme my thoughts go and the catastrophic thinking I tend to do. Try to remember that life gets better. You are a strong young woman, smart & brave for reaching out for support. Childhood is lost, but there will be fun & happy times to be had as an adult. You will probably be much help to others in the future who need help because of everything you've been through. Hang in there sweetie, I hope things get better soon for you.

Thank you very much actually funny enough I want to be a therapist

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by breannanaomi47

Thank you very much actually funny enough I want to be a therapist

Hey I'm a teacher for emotionally disturbed kids and I'm one of the most understanding teachers because I've been there. Hell I'm there right now lol. Our struggles make us better professionals I think.