Does this sound manic?

but WORTH IT

No I am home still. Kids still home. Need someone else to return home before I can leave them at night

I hope someone can come through for you. If you need to vent in the mean time, get it out; If you need someone to listen, I am around-- you may send me a message, if that will help. I am new to this forum.. saw your thread and immediately empathized. I went through an extreme manic episode last fall-so I have been thinking about what I myself went through a lot- I have been stable for a year now.. it helps sometimes to have an ear.. Just let me know!

Mental do you think I'm manic? I really don't know what to think anymore

Ok. There is such a fine line. I do believe youre manic. From your postings.. It is nothing to feel bad about. When I say fine line, I mean once you are manic past a point where you can REALLY have any footing on reality, i.e. last year I believed Wu Tang clan was kind of like-- my posse-- I listened to theier lyrics and believed that they were speaking to and through me.. It made me feel hostile and angry, in a strange karate superhero way... as well as Lady GaGa each song of hers i.e. there is one on that album that refers to France, as I am French, the music made me behave in some sort of burlesque way. I thought I was her almost. Basically? Classical music? yeahhhhhh... I could blast it and write down poems and fragment 'genius' type thoughts for hours. This went on for so long with me trying to hide it from family and at work until I began posting rants on FB, I am 30 yrs old btw. I couldn't hide it any more. I am 5'7" and before I went to the hospital I was 105 lbs. I could not see it any more. I am telling you this because it takes less time than you think to get to that level. and as a spiritual not religious type person, it sounds like you almost read an occult book and took it to heart. I was referring to family members as minions.

Lol my kids are my minions. Hehe

So yes, I do believe you are manic. You are aware though. When my close friend told me I was manic before I had gotten to that level I had gone through a series of extremely traumatic events-I was also misdiagnosed and prescribed stimulants-and could go back and forth from mild insanity to extreme functionality like a light switch. Can you relate to any of this? You are on bi polar meds, and are taking them as instructed? I really think in my honest opinion, though I would love to hear how you are feeling now--- more importantly--- that it may be a good idea for you to spend a few nights to a week in a hospital. Though you may not need to. How are YOU feeling??

sure-- by definition-- how do you feel

I also sadly in the end started referring to them as 'things' reading far to much into physics-- as you do when----- YOU ARE MANIC--and thought the ' matter' of all things on the planet equated to the vibrations of rocks. This to include humans. Aka that would mean I found myself to be NOT human.. WRONG>WRONG>WRONG.
The most important thing right now is to talk about how YOU feel.

I feel that way! Normal then not normal within minutes. I'm feeling antsy and exhausted but like I could stay up for days anyway.

yes totally know that. I am in to the arts and would paint and do projects until 6 am and work an hour later.... no good

I can still do this with sleep. I can still write and read occult and spiritual and books about physics while being GROUNDED.

But, I laid off of them for quite some time. Because for about 6 months my HEAD WAS UNDER WATER

I like my writing as of late and so do others. I was just playing the piano. Fun!

Can you relate to this? Have you been ACTUALLY manic , or hospitalized before

Some stranger dropped off flowers and his name and number!

They said I was manic once. Hospitalized for wanting to stab the voices in my head.

I was obsessed with the piano. It made me feel calm. TO hear it. Are you a musician??

Ok.. I understand what you mean by stab... you mean. the voices were like versions or ghosts to you? That you really just profoundly needed them to go away?

Yes I can play piano and sing. Soothing. Yes the voices told me to stab myself. The have lately too. I ignore them. Nobody at psych office cares.

Piano is becoming difficult tonight.

Ok... I totally get it.. the balcony comment as well.. voices used to tell me to walk off my balcony all the time.. I am still alluded as to how I functioned for so long so crazily efficient. BUT-- you think people close don't notice. THEY DO

I just remembered: I have an important phone call tomorrow at 9 am. I can't miss it. Means I can't to to psych ER

Nobody's noticed that I haven't told.

Your decisions from this point will affect your reality. As you do or do not see it. You will learn. Or repeat. You wil experience something no one else has. It can turn into a horror movie, a purgatory, a hell, a battle for your life.