After years of mental health neglected with issues that started as a child, is there hope after a middle aged meltdown. So many things I would like to discuss with therapist, but would take a lot of time. After being hollered at as a child shut up, shut up, I've done told you to shut up when usually it was a because of a brother that was always touching me which I hated. So I learned to suck it up and tough it out. Now I am stuck in this middle aged meltdown, unable to work, and depending on and having to help take care of that very person.

Is there hope for me as I battle this bipolar as I have only been in treatment for 7 months and see a very long road ahead.

[lil_better_everyday]

I hate to hear you feel that way

But there's always hope. Sometimes its hard to see, or believe its really there, but it is. Its different for everyone, but there's always hope.

You don't have to tell the therapist everything at once. Start slow, but go. I too went most of my life without any sort of mental health support, and then for several years only had a pdoc. Starting to talk with a therapist has helped me a lot. I think we discussed it being hard to talk about feelings. If for nothing else, its great for me to talk this stranger who tells me I'm not crazy, and is qualified to do so. (Well, not any more crazy than we already knew)

It may be a pinprick right now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by Lmciyah

After years of mental health neglected with issues that started as a child, is there hope after a middle aged meltdown. So many things I would like to discuss with therapist, but would take a lot of time. After being hollered at as a child shut up, shut up, I've done told you to shut up when usually it was a because of a brother that was always touching me which I hated. So I learned to suck it up and tough it out. Now I am stuck in this middle aged meltdown, unable to work, and depending on and having to help take care of that very person.

Is there hope for me as I battle this bipolar as I have only been in treatment for 7 months and see a very long road ahead.

Of course there is always hope, Lmciyah! I would imagine several other PC'ers will leave replies to this effect... and they will be correct. But, as for me, if I'm going to be completely honest, I have to tell you that I take a dimmer view.

I have been mentally ill since before I have memories. I can tell, by pictures I used to have, that by the age of 2 I was already in trouble. But, back when I was growing up, mental illness was right up there with original sin. My parents just pretended it didn't exist & they taught me to both hide it & deny it both to myself & others. I have said a few times that if denial were blankets, I would have been crushed by the weight.

I carried on like this until I was in my early 50's, drowning in depression & anxiety & just scraping by day-after-day. When I reached my early 50's I had a bout with cancer. And after that I began to unravel. And I've been unraveling ever since. I've self-harmed to the point where I have permanent physical damage & I've survived 2 serious suicide attempts.

I've had to fight "tooth-&-nail" to get anything at all in terms of help & what I've gotten has been so inadequate that it's almost humorous. My perspective is that once you get to be 50 or older, you're just excess baggage. Nobody gives a rip. You've made it this far on your own, so just deal. Like I said, this is just my jaded perspective. I'm sorry.

As far as my mental health problems themselves go, I would also have to say that I don't hold out allot of hope. I've had the problems I have my entire life. My problems are so ingrained at this point that I really do doubt that anything could change them significantly now. So, from that standpoint, I would have to say that I agree with the people who say I'm just too old to make me worth bothering with. They're probably correct.

Once again, though, I want to stress that this is just my jaded opinion. I hope that your experience can be different. But one thing I am convinced of is that it's a battle. You not only have to fight your own demons, but at the same time, you have to battle all of the people & service providers who will look at you & think to themselves: "too old to worry about."

Again, I apologize for this. But it is my honest appraisal. I hope that, by my being honest, I can in some way help you to have a better experience.

[pawn78]

There is hope.
Nothing lasts forever, even mental anguish doesn't last forever... This will pass.
Do whatever you can to keep calm and enjoy the little things in life.

[Victoria'smom]

There's hope. Its easiest to write things down and give it to my therapist then saying it out loud. I seem to also have queue words to let her know something is wrong unique, fun, and interesting moods mean I've been on the Virge of psychosis, depersonalizing, or anxious as hell, batshit crazy is manic, crappy is depressed, and really crappy is suicidal. So these to words are more descriptive of how I'm doing or feeling.

If you don't mind filling out paperwork you may want to try https://app.box.com/s/dr2mnqsxpj63naoscnil"] this with a feelings sheet. if you haven't filled one out you may want a crisis plan . if you have issues with reality at times this may help. I give both and a paragraph about each day so she knows exactly where I'm at in my mind vs. What anyone can have the courage to say. As time goes on its easier to say those messed up things out loud. I really feel therapy has really helped me accept both my illness and my symptoms. Also it helps me separate my real behavior vs. Symptoms. I think therapy will really help you deal with your living situation and find ways to help prevent how the verbal abuse effects you. Also may give you hope about your DX and deal with all those little maladapted ways you learned to cope before medicated.

I think most of us have dealt with BP as a child. There are some of us that are able to reach a balance to work, live on there own, and have a family. Some of us have to choose family, work or
Living on our own or a combination of those. Some of us need more profetional soupport than others. Usually its a combination of care at different times.

Stability tends to come in bursts for us and medication needs to be adjusted. It took my husband about two years once having the proper DX to find a medication to keep him stable with slight adjustments. My son and I aren't really that lucky. However I hinder my medical recovery and my son as a kid has limited medicated ability. So it'll take us longer but things are better even just with therapy. That said I have an extensive team to help me get well.

[wing]

BP being a lifelong illness, there will be ups and downs, but also times of smooth sailing in between. It takes time to become aware of how your illness affects you, and in which areas of your life. A therapist can help you navigate the waters. In the meantime, remember you are not alone and can lean on the caring people at PC for support. The most important thing is to have a good support system, even if it is only professionals. The friends you reach out to here can become a support network, too, if you don't have friends you can rely on.

[Dix888]

There IS hope. I was not diag. until age 46. I'd had trouble all my life w/the symptoms of up, down, super hyper. Took 5years to get me on the right combo of meds. But now am stable, in a real happy marriage (27 years) & member of writing groups which keep me interested. I have found meds to be more helpful than talk therapy. That's just me. Best wishes to you on this difficult path. You Will reach a good place

Now I am stuck in this middle aged meltdown, unable to work, and depending on and having to help take care of that very person.

Is there hope for me as I battle this bipolar as I have only been in treatment for 7 months and see a very long road ahead.[/quote]

[BipolaRNurse]

Don't give up on yourself because you are middle-aged and bipolar. I wasn't diagnosed till I was 53, but with lots of meds, therapy, and social support (including the people here at PC) I'm doing well now. It took a full two years to get here though, so if you're 7 months into recovery you probably have a ways to go before you're actually well. Everyone is different though; some take longer, some do really well really soon.

The thing is NOT to allow yourself to believe your life is worthless because you're in midlife and disabled. You matter, even if you think it's only to a gaggle of strangers on the Internet. We are real people with a real illness, just like you, and we care.

[gayleggg]

I always like to say there is hope, of course, if you catch on somedays I would not give that answer for me. I've had ups, downs, remission and even happy days, it's just been quite a while since I've been up. So I have to watch my negativity because my true belief system says there is always hope. I was diagnosed at 34 with major depression and then at 43 with Bipolar 1. They have now changed that to Bipolar 2. Mainly I'm just depressed! At a state that is considered stable but not happy. I guess that's better than unstable which wasn't that long ago.

I say try everything you can because you still have life ahead of you. And hope is what gets me through the day.

[BinaryMan]

I am at my worst right now, bouncing from rage to depression. A mixed state that started two months now and shows no signs of slowing down. I was undiagnosed almost my entire life, living a miserable existence not knowing why people hated me and avoided me. Countless fist fights, suicidal thoughts, the bad choices with money and relationships and my career. The long sleepless manic weeks. The months I could not stop myself from sleeping. Only half a year ago I learned the name of the parasite that lives in my brain. And even then I didn't get any relief. Battles with insurance, nurses and inexperienced doctors and money have greatly delayed my treatment. I still suffer, pain that will not end. This might be the darkest part of my life

It might be my rage influencing me right now, but **** hope. I don't need hope to fight. I need power! And you can't earn power, you have to take it. Take it from your enemy. Take it from the very thing you must fight. Use your BP to gain power then use that power against it. Get MAD. Release all that built up emotion. Then use that energy to build your resolve. Once you have resolve you can't be stopped. FIGHT because you can. Fight because you want to. Fight because it gives you power.

Don't fight for hope because, lets face it, in or darkest hour is that really something we can feel? Feel the pain and let it power you!

[swheaton]

There is always hope. It doesn't sound like your current living situation is healthy. Can you live somewhere that has kind and supportive people?

Hope is a gift...keep it.

Originally Posted by swheaton

There is always hope. It doesn't sound like your current living situation is healthy. Can you live somewhere that has kind and supportive people?

Hope is a gift...keep it.

Unfortunately, that's not an option as I am unable to work at the moment. Besides, my elderly father with little vision needs me. However, the situation could be better. He's had his own issues for a long time as well which one brother and me thinks he's depressed. So, part of me getting better will help me to help him. Depression is one thing, bp is whole 'nother beast.

[avlady]

i hope you feel better. there is always hope, it is something we have to believe if we expect to get better because believing there is no hope is self-defeating. you must have at least a little hope since it seems like you think you are rock bottom, so the only place you can go is up now!

I've just got to make myself be patient as I have been told several times this was going to be a long and slow road. I so want to work, but I know that any stress will put me right back into my destructive behavior. I've also got to control my boredom which also gets me into those behaviors as well. I'm also trying to be determined to not snap back with the ocd and occupy my time with crap that is so irrelevant to life. I usually do and burn myself out just like I do with jobs. Oh if I could taste a little normalcy in life without the constant up and down factor, maybe just maybe, I could get on a good track.

[wing]

Now that sounds hopeful! Glad you're feeling better!

Well actually, I'm not feeling any better, I'm just trying to be in better spirits. If I just had me gf to do something with would be helpful, but I always make bad decisions and choose users and abusers. So, I can't get myself into it. My dad doesn't enjoy my company because I get excited to easy and don't act right for his taste. So I'm just SOL.

[lil_better_everyday]

Originally Posted by Lmciyah

I'm not feeling any better, I'm just trying to be in better spirits.

Fake it till you make it. Sounds silly but it's really a solid strategy.

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Tapatalk