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  #776  
Old Nov 27, 2014, 04:15 PM
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Tigersassy

Doing alright over here. Working OT a lot which will be extended. I'm worried about the new year and our finances. Still its hard to work OT as I never quite feel rested or like I've had time away. Things very busy with the kids at home. Dh holding down the fort, bless him.
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  #777  
Old Nov 28, 2014, 12:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Love&Toil View Post
Tigersassy

Doing alright over here. Working OT a lot which will be extended. I'm worried about the new year and our finances. Still its hard to work OT as I never quite feel rested or like I've had time away. Things very busy with the kids at home. Dh holding down the fort, bless him.
Be sure to give yourself some time off. Seriously. I was working my regular job then a second one until late at night and weekends. I burned out after two months. Got really sick. Maybe I'm just too old. My bipolar brain can't handle the stress.

FOOD ALERGY WARNING: contents may have been in contact with nuts
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  #778  
Old Nov 28, 2014, 12:35 AM
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My depression is slowly lifting

Bipolar daily check in  thread #7
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  #779  
Old Nov 28, 2014, 09:44 AM
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I feel sad and worried this morning... trying not to start getting depressed My ex managed to ruin my enjoyment as well as my daughters last night with a single phone call. He was drunk, begun accusing her of lying, telling her he would beat her up to a pulp when she came back home, and managed to send her a text telling her not to come back. I have been thru this for past 10 years, and now he is taking his anger out on her.. just to hurt me. Well it worked. My daughter can of course stay here, but now her bf and school is in different state and she wants to go back. I do not know what to do... life sucks this morning
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  #780  
Old Nov 28, 2014, 09:51 AM
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I am feeling low today. Its related to my cycle and I'm stressed about all the shopping I've done for Xmas. $$$ My job is talking possible strike. I am feeling insecure about dh getting tired out and am not doing enough at home due to the OT. Neef to cook for my sister who needs help but I've been too busy and unavailable. Think I just need to take a rest. And get a plan for cleaning my place on the weekend. Maybe just pick 3 rooms to focus on. It's very draining to get the kids on board with helping but necessary. I wish I could just sleep and pay off all my bills. I let myself shop with guilt bcuz I was going to get less for xmas this year but the kids were disappointed when they found out. So I let the guilt get to me. So now instead of guilt I have worry over the bills. Lol Thanks for listening.
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  #781  
Old Nov 28, 2014, 04:15 PM
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I have a sinus infection, so I feel tired, ill, and canky
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  #782  
Old Nov 28, 2014, 05:01 PM
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Worked from home today. Actually got a decent amount of things done. Feel pretty good. Going to celebrate tonight. What with? I don't know.
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  #783  
Old Nov 28, 2014, 11:11 PM
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Broke up with my boyfriend on Thursday. Still I feel great. T says I'm hypomanic but I think I'm mostly normal with insomnia. I was overwhelmed by my boyfriends love for me and needed space. Not sure why. Guess time alone will tell.
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  #784  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 05:03 AM
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Got drunk yesterday. Up now, at 3am, hating myself. I never drink anymore, but the holiday got me down and I let myself be stupid. Now I am paying for it. Alcohol is not something I should touch.

Holidays make me feel crazier than normal. This time of year is so, so hard for me. I want it to be January.

Glad that I am able to learn from my mistakes. Now, if I can only stop beating myself up.
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  #785  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 09:20 AM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful Camel View Post
Got drunk yesterday. Up now, at 3am, hating myself. I never drink anymore, but the holiday got me down and I let myself be stupid. Now I am paying for it. Alcohol is not something I should touch.

Holidays make me feel crazier than normal. This time of year is so, so hard for me. I want it to be January.

Glad that I am able to learn from my mistakes. Now, if I can only stop beating myself up.

***handing you a free get outta beating yourself up card **** Use it and pay it forward when you see someone who needs it
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  #786  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 09:33 AM
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~Christina you rock!

Up early on a Saturday morning and have already taken my first kid to dance. Will be chauffeuring the other two to their activities as well. Tires to be changed at 12:30. I wish I could sleep in... tomorrow.

I am anxious and nervous about finances with my high bills and the looming strike. I wanted to cancel our $500 trip to a waterpark for Christmas but dh said no. I am working crazy OT and yesterday was not productive at all when I am usually tremendously productive. I guess we all have off days now and again.

Am going through a period of time where I am taking stock of my physical fitness. I am sedentary and am too tired to become a gym bunny. Walking is my speed these days. I am contemplating accepting my voluptuous figure and embracing it and just being fat. This is big for me because I was a dancer for most of my life and was always fit until I had children 9 years ago. It's been downhill from there. There is much to embrace in this decision (pun intended).

Now to get off my butt and do those dishes. Ugh.
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  #787  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 03:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
***handing you a free get outta beating yourself up card **** Use it and pay it forward when you see someone who needs it
May I have one of those cards also please?
I sure need it!
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  #788  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 07:04 PM
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Yeah I'm ok but I feel tired.

Went to the pharmacy and they tried to charge me $150 for my script. I was like what on earth .... last time it was $40. He continued arguing with me.

Being a sunday he phoned the manager on his mobile who confirmed that I was correct.

Sigh.

It's the second time the same pharmacist who works there on a Suday has done this.

Next time I'll make sure it's a Monday.
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  #789  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 08:15 PM
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I'm new, but I guess I'll try a check in.

I'd put my depression at a 6 or 7 today. Spent all day with my best friend and boyfriend. Got a couple of smiles out, but I'm just preoccupied over the fact that I lost my job again because there's something wrong with my head. Really stuck on the idea of not being normal today. I'm dreading showing my face around the friend who got me the job tomorrow. Dealing with some heavy feelings of worthlessness, too.
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  #790  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 10:47 PM
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I am empty
I have nothing more to give
I am drowning
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  #791  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 10:54 PM
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I glued a hand with an engagement ring on my vision board and that night an old flame who I haven't had contact with in years (for good reason) phoned me and proposed. That is three nights ago. I'm having a hard time making him disappear. He must be manic. Be careful what you wish for.
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  #792  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 11:07 PM
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Originally Posted by RR18 View Post
I glued a hand with an engagement ring on my vision board and that night an old flame who I haven't had contact with in years (for good reason) phoned me and proposed. That is three nights ago. I'm having a hard time making him disappear. He must be manic. Be careful what you wish for.
I hope you said no.
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  #793  
Old Nov 29, 2014, 11:34 PM
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I hope you said no.
I did. Felt like I was slighting the universe, but I did say no.
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  #794  
Old Nov 30, 2014, 12:20 AM
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I've got a roller coaster going on whose tracks are the loop in my head.
When I'm managing to stay off the bad rumination loop, I'm doing basically alright.
But when the loop gets ahold, it's a stomach-turning plummet.

I wish it would just STFU. It makes me sui. I just have to keep riding them out to hit the plateaus and it's exhausting.
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  #795  
Old Nov 30, 2014, 03:30 AM
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Thanks, Christina, you are such a steady presence here. I appreciate you.

I'm having to file for bankruptcy. This is eating at me, big time.

I think I am going to write a list, in my journal, of some of my good points - just to remind me that I do still have some good points!

Depression sucks.
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  #796  
Old Nov 30, 2014, 02:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RR18 View Post
I glued a hand with an engagement ring on my vision board and that night an old flame who I haven't had contact with in years (for good reason) phoned me and proposed. That is three nights ago. I'm having a hard time making him disappear. He must be manic. Be careful what you wish for.
Wow...I too have a vision board-maybe I should rethink some of the things on mine-you didn't use the back of a Ouija board by accident did you?
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  #797  
Old Nov 30, 2014, 02:41 PM
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Originally Posted by HungrySociety View Post
I'm new, but I guess I'll try a check in.

I'd put my depression at a 6 or 7 today. Spent all day with my best friend and boyfriend. Got a couple of smiles out, but I'm just preoccupied over the fact that I lost my job again because there's something wrong with my head. Really stuck on the idea of not being normal today. I'm dreading showing my face around the friend who got me the job tomorrow. Dealing with some heavy feelings of worthlessness, too.
Welcome Hungry-I find this forum very welcoming & supportive & hope you will also. Depression does indeed suck & mine is trying to work on me really hard today-refusing right now to give in-I always found it hard to seek help from others & I finally realized that wasn't working so good so now I see a tdoc weekly & pdoc every 3-4 weeks. And this forum has just been wonderful-it's like being able to have a mini group therapy anytime you need it. Take care.
__________________
"This is just a moment in time. Step aside and let it happen."-Inara from Firefly

Bipolar Disorder
Depression
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
OCD
PTSD
Insomnia
Chronic Pain

Prozac 30mg daily
Buspar 10mg three times daily
Propranolol 10mg three times daily
Currently titrating up Lamictal daily
Ambien 5mg prn
Trazodone 50mg prn
Thanks for this!
Hopeful Camel, Pikku Myy
  #798  
Old Nov 30, 2014, 07:00 PM
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My period really affects me so you all get to hear about the fact that I'm on my period right now. LOL So yeah, it's making me moody. I am weepy today. I feel lonely. I am stressed about $. I am bored. Oh well. It is what it is.
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  #799  
Old Nov 30, 2014, 07:12 PM
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my mood has been swinging around the last couple of days-I'm on the depressive swing today but I did push myself to do some things around the house today & worked for a bit on an art project-guess this is one of those times where I just gotta plod along til it gets better.
__________________
"This is just a moment in time. Step aside and let it happen."-Inara from Firefly

Bipolar Disorder
Depression
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
OCD
PTSD
Insomnia
Chronic Pain

Prozac 30mg daily
Buspar 10mg three times daily
Propranolol 10mg three times daily
Currently titrating up Lamictal daily
Ambien 5mg prn
Trazodone 50mg prn
Thanks for this!
Bill3, Hopeful Camel, Love&Toil, Pikku Myy
  #800  
Old Dec 01, 2014, 01:54 AM
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Is paranoia a part of bipolar? If so, then things are bad. Not just bad, but BAD. Can't stop thinking that everyone is out to get me, and that no one is safe... I'm not even really convinced that posting this is safe.

I am super hyper and bouncing off the walls, and not sleeping. But I'm also seriously struggling with wanting to do nothing more than curl up in a ball and never move again. I hate manic mixed episodes.
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