[Wander]

I'm not sleeping much and when I do I wake a lot. Despite this I am feeling fine; alert and energetic. For the last month I have been switching in and out of a hypomanic episode, part euphoric, part extremely irritable. My judgement has been a bit off, or so my therapist says. I am wondering if this is all due to the addition of Pristiq (an antidepressant) about 7 weeks ago. I don't mind it sure beats the deep depression I was stuck in for many months until about 4 weeks ago. I overnight switched from deep depression to hypomania. Crazy times. A bit of normal would be nice.

[tigersassy]

So tired. I don't know if it's depression or the leukemia. I just want to sleep. Mood is ok, but it could still be numb. If I think too much I cry. If I don't think I sleep. I hope to find out what this is tomorrow, well which type. I have to stay away from sick people for a while until I go into remission. But who knows how long that'll be. Can I nap now? Blah...

[Turtlesoup]

I am way beyond fatigue-had to get up & do some cleaning as my husband invited like 4 or 5 people over-Im still struggling with this pain flare up-really bad & I just feel totally crappy-How am I supposed to chit chat with these people for god knows how long-bleh. Got really anxious earlier so took an extra propranolol & Ativan-maybe I should just take my Depakote & then when I fall over drooling on the couch we can play guess which mental illnesses I have grrrrrrrrrr. Being in a relationship sometimes is a *****.sorry didn't know we couldn't say the female dog word-so how bout @#%*$ that makes me feel better

[Standup2me]

I had such a bad sleep last night (nightmares) that I feel like the
walking dead today

Today was stressful. Then, just now, I learned something very disquieting that put my anxiety through the roof and despair through the floor. The walls are closing in and I am utterly powerless to stop them. ****

[lacerta]

It's getting overwhelming at work. Lot's of additional tasks given with deadline due this year. Lot of tasks require skills that I don't yet have and have to obtain in almost Hollywood-like super fast way. I wish to be stable and to be able to go through this.

[katluvzpurple]

Today was good and bad... getting frustrated with all the ups and downs... and the lack of seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist.

On the advice of my fitness instructor I started eating healthy and more regular. I need to make it last because it has had a good effect on my mood. My mind is clearer and I am not having all of the out of control manic symptoms I was having. I think the two are connected. I guess the mind needs fuel.

[Hopeful Camel]

I just had another therapist quit on me! Ugh. She left the agency where I was seeing her and now there is no one to replace her. So I am left to my own devices.

I'm becoming convinced that 90% of my problems stem from lack of sleep. I need to start researching sleep medications.

I just want to say that I am thankful for this thread, and all of the regulars here that make up this little family. I hope all my American friends have a blessed Thanksgiving.

[kmptrgeek]

I'm still here. That's about the best thing I can say right now. Got a new med in my cocktail...which means I'm on two mood stabilizers now. Lamictal so I don't get too low, and Latuda so I don't get to high. I feel like Elvis.

Trying to hang in there...

[Canadian sasquatch]

feeling confused as to which I am up or down

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by kmptrgeek

I'm still here. That's about the best thing I can say right now. Got a new med in my cocktail...which means I'm on two mood stabilizers now. Lamictal so I don't get too low, and Latuda so I don't get to high. I feel like Elvis.

Trying to hang in there...

Ah, you made me laugh

Sometimes I feel that I take so many meds that I must rattle when I walk

[nightmare26]

I feel so confused today

[Turtlesoup]

Still feel crappy bleh I did call my Grandmother earlier & that was good. Still having a rough time getting my pain under control-trying not to let it get me down-irritated at my Mom-she drives me nuts. Nothing like good old family stability

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Sometimes I feel that I take so many meds that I must rattle when I walk

Heh. No kidding, eh? That sound really bugs me, so I stuff the bottles full of cotton balls (not all on top though, 'cause it's a pain digging through(!))

I am…. damn. Feeling pretty freaking down. Trying to do some atypical things as distraction, but brain is stuck on a bad loop. I hate this. As I mentioned in the other thread, I realize (and do truly believe) that I've never done anything to "deserve" the bad things that are happening to me. But it also hit this morning that it still feels like being an innocent person that gets a life sentence. Sorry, that's really depressing, and surely must be worse. It's just that, "But I didn't DO anything!!!" desperate plead that falls on deaf ears and echoes into the void.

Sheesh, ain't I just a barrel of monkeys today….Sorry.

[Roblovescats]

Amazing what a bottle of wine can do for my attitude! Mwah...

FOOD ALERGY WARNING: contents may have been in contact with nuts

[Roblovescats]

Kisses for everyone! !!!!

FOOD ALERGY WARNING: contents may have been in contact with nuts

[Love&Toil]

A very productive day once again. Working lots of overtime. That's good 'cuz I recently went NUTS spending money on Christmas gifts. UGHHHH. I need to pay some biiiillllllsssss!!!! Why do I do this to myself?

[rumishams]

today turned around for me. i wasn't getting anything done and was super low energy and obsessing, then i had a long talk with a friend and found this forum. things are looking good for the moment.

I was told I apologize too much and that it is all unnecessary. If they only knew what went on inside my head... they'd let me apologize.

[Crazy Hitch]

Welcome, rumishams Funny you should say that, because my day took a swing like that too.
For my case, I wouldn't say it looks good, but more a significant degree of hypo upswing (the signs were numerous, but it's been so bad lately, I sure didn't want to heed them!) Being a good IZ now and heading off for sleep. (Ooooh, just occurred I took my sleep med quite awhile ago and… nada. Will take some more and sleep. I promise. 'Cause I know this roller coaster ain't free…)

[tigersassy]

Doing ok. Kinda numb. Found out yesterday that I have CML a type of leukemia. It's to be treated with oral chemotherapy for the rest of my life. Kicker is my insurance doesn't cover oral chemotherapy at all. Now what? Gotta stay out of my head in order to survive this thanksgiving. I just want to sleep for a while. I don't want to feel or anything I just want to float along quietly. Mood lately has either been numb, scared, or depressed. But what else can you expect?

[onionknight]

I've been having headaches the past few days. I'm worried about what is up with that, but otherwise I am fine.

[Turtlesoup]

Cracking up (in a good way) listening to my hubby sing very off key while making pancakes-he is currently mangling a Tom Petty song too funny-he even woke the cat up-feels good to laugh-happy Thanksgiving to all