I felt awesome yesterday until at 4:00 I suddenly was overtaken by a downswing. I took a prn, put myself to bed at 7:00 and hoped for the best. It's 3:43 a.m. "tadaa" things are better. That's not what usually happens, but I'll take it.

This so far has been the best winter I've ever had.

[Pikku Myy]

That mood description of rollercoaster is accurate for me Bit ansy and nervous... need to try to focus on something positive.

[tigersassy]

Doing good all things considered. I'm trying to get insurance figured out for new med. Trying to talk Pdoc into dropping seroquel for now. I'm too tired all the time. I'm frustrated with work. My boss is a moron and doesn't pay attention before he starts in on you. I'm keeping my head up. Not sure what else I could do.

[MattBemis]

I'm not doing too hot today. I felt awesome last night but I stayed up all night on omegle which I always do when an episode of Mania is starting.

I also am super anxious and I don't know if I have a job. I wasn't fired, but I'm not on the schedule for this week and I texted my boss who always responds and I haven't gotten an answer.

[Healing the Damage]

Today has been ok ish so far today. I am super sore from working out too much yesterday. I am super tired because I can't sleep, but at the same time, slept too much last night. Breathing sucks today (****ing asthma). Paranoid about everything. Want to harm, want to sleep, want to go run for hours. I don't think I really know what I want. It wouldn't be as bad if it was just mania or just depression. But no, it has to be both. :/

[Polibeth]

I haven't slept in 3 nights. I don't really feel all that bad, but I was quite productive at work this weekend and I've been baking cookies like crazy (I usually avoid baking/cooking).

Anyway, Pdoc had cut my Geodon in half about two weeks ago. I was fine at first but now no sleep - I am curious as to whether that is contributing. I should really call him, but I might take my old dose first and see what happens (pdoc won't mind).

[Standup2me]

I have the Monday blues

sigh

I just found what seems to be the perfect therapist for me. I am so very happy. And relieved. Since the last one moved away 5 months ago, I have had a hard time finding the right one.

[Turtlesoup]

Depressed, anxious, exhausted-that pretty much sums it up.

[Love&Toil]

$#^%$^%&^%%#$

I think all the overtime is getting to me. I think all my responsibilities are getting to me. I need a slower pace and more support. I need help with housework and household organization. I have been considering a nanny which would be the same cost as daycare. So far dh doesn't see the benefits of a nanny over daycare for our three school age children, but I do because I would get help with housework.

I wish I could take a day off and just stay home in bed and vegetate. I have passed our sick day limit at work (been off for too many sick days) and am waiting to get called in by my Manager. So far that's never happened to me, even though I have passed the limit for 2-3 years in a row. The Manager has "discretion" (it's a unionized environment)... fortunately I think my strong work ethic, years of experience, expertise and productivity make me a top player. Still it's unsettling to think I may get hauled in for a discussion... sigh. I am trying not to take any more sick days for the rest of the year but it's getting to be very challenging. I need to take it one day at a time.

A couple of days this week I will not be working overtime because of commitments with the children. That will help with a sense of a break and rest, I think. Thank goodness.

I want to get tattoed. I am bored and unsettled. I need to finish my half sleeve. Today dh begged me not to get any more work done... not right now... he wants to get a new computer system. LOL Priorities!

[cashart10]

I can't well describe today. I was gone with the kiddos a lot, aimlessly driving much of the time. And, it was my daughter's 7th birthday. I do so love my babies, all three of them. And, maybe I'm delusional. I have a sinking feeling that has come on tonight. I am just contemplating who I am in the role of God's child and thinking I am not nearly as high as my needs would have me be. I thought I had heard the trumpets sound and that it could be the rapture, maybe that is delusional thinking. It turns out see, that the sound did have an origin and it wasn't supernatural. Imagine that. Not sure what would have happened to me even if it had been the rapture. And, if I mentioned this to my husband, as usual, he would ask "have you taken your medicine" and then tell me I am crazy. I'm not. But, it's just that kind of night.

[Hopeful Camel]

Today I go see my pdoc for med adjustment. I really need sleep.

I got a nice note from someone and it really made my day. Sometimes the little things can mean so much.

My business is doing well, and in spite of some ups and downs, I feel like I'm on a fairly even keel. Like I said, I just need to be getting some regular sleep.

for everyone today!

[nicole84]

My day started mixed with anxiety, then up up up UP UP. It's currently 1am and I'm bouncing off the walls. Yet trying to study, and am somewhat taking the information in once I can focus. Normally when *slightly* manic I can study for 6 hours and just get it done. And I'm doing really well too, positive feedback from my trainer

I also went for a dance naked in the rain. Until the rain stopped
Weaning off prozac, mood stabilisers incoming. Very much needed, although for once I'm enjoying the mania. Normally it's too mixed or irritable. I'll probably crash at some point. But for now, might as well enjoy it.

[Love&Toil]

Naked dance in the rain sounds delish!

Bored today, right now. My father told me last night that my gma who cannot remember her name was saying she remembers how beautiful I used to be. Gee thanks. I hate the way people treat you like you're ugly if you're overweight. I need positive reinforcement and love. And compliments. Not veiled insults.

[gayleggg]

Feeling a bit down today. My husband got mad at me last night and I haven't recovered. It left me questioning my myself. I need to work on letting things go.

Hang in there, Hooligan. We care.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Love&Toil]

No more OT for me this week. I'm caught up and bored as anything!!!! The kids will be happy to see me, dh doesn't have to make dinner, I can work on the laundry. Phew!

[tigersassy]

I'm ok. That seems to be where I'm at all the time. Kinda numb. Have a Pdoc appt on the 15th I'm hoping she lets me drop my seroquel. All of my meds are getting to be too much for me to manage financially. My med for my leukemia is $50 a month plus my $30 for the seroquel and the other meds. Plus all of my Drs appts. I hate money. Cue anxiety about money and health. In 15 mins I'll be fine. I hate this. Blah

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Love&Toil

Naked dance in the rain sounds delish!

Bored today, right now. My father told me last night that my gma who cannot remember her name was saying she remembers how beautiful I used to be. Gee thanks. I hate the way people treat you like you're ugly if you're overweight. I need positive reinforcement and love. And compliments. Not veiled insults.

My Mum is the queen of the backwards compliments
You look so good in that sweater. You will look even better if you dropped a few pounds
Short skirts look good on you, but do you really think you are young enough to wear them

Argh!

[nicole84]

Originally Posted by Love&Toil

Naked dance in the rain sounds delish!

Bored today, right now. My father told me last night that my gma who cannot remember her name was saying she remembers how beautiful I used to be. Gee thanks. I hate the way people treat you like you're ugly if you're overweight. I need positive reinforcement and love. And compliments. Not veiled insults.

It was! But we needed some more rain, it's now Summer here and beautiful when it rains and storms

Oh I remember once my grandma said I had gotten chubby and grabbed the flab on my stomach years ago! I don't think they understand tbh. But it is hurtful! The thing is, when I see her now she'll tell me I'm too skinny!

Today was ok. I'm procrastinating my study by posting on the forums. Finally gave myself a manicure and painted my nails. Sometimes it's the little things that help.

My housemate is away for the night, so the house to myself is divine.

[Canadian sasquatch]

I have yet to meet a woman how isn't beautiful in some way.... feeling better I guess that is the only way to put it for now

[Hopeful Camel]

I slept much better last night after being put on Ambien ER. So that helps.

Overall, I feel like my mood has been stable for about a month. What a blessing.

The holidays are a difficult time for me, because I am estranged from my family, but this year I am going to focus on giving. Just giving. Love, friendship, time. Whatever I have. I want to have a lovely December.

[Love&Toil]

Hopeful Camel focusing on giving sounds lovely.

Coping today. Was up late looking at tattoo ideas. My mom asked me to stop with them already. My kid asked if I'd get anymore and at the time I said no I'm all tattoed out. But I am bored and need the stimulation. I should probably excerise but when????

I finished my course. It was a course on Mental Health First Aid. I feel drained now and glad it's over. It was difficult to be in that class and watch peoples responses to mental illness and psychosis and have an illness myself.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by RR18

I finished my course. It was a course on Mental Health First Aid. I feel drained now and glad it's over. It was difficult to be in that class and watch peoples responses to mental illness and psychosis and have an illness myself.

Yay on you. It must have been hard, because people who don't understand can be so hurtful

[Turtlesoup]

Raining again-depressed again-had to stop reading the news-my anxiety was just going up & up-bleh. Why is there so much hate in the world? Worked on my deep breathing to get the anxiety down-thought I was gonna have to get the Ativan but it has subsided a bit-my stomach always gets all sicky when my anxiety gets stirred up. I don't do well with confrontation & it frustrates me that I get all anxious reading about confrontational things in the news or like when I'm out somewhere & people are arguing-totally freaks me out.