Feeling bad

I feel sad today. It makes me feel more crazy to swing back and forth with moods as I do. This is even with discounting pms week. In my better days which my therapist thinks are overwhelmingly hypomanic, everything is conquerable and easy. Then smack, I will start feeling badly and the littlest things are overwhelming. Right now I am even regretting that next Friday I committed to taking my daughter and her friends roller skating. Even though I will just sit there and read a book, if I continue to feel this way, I will dread it all week. When will I learn I am not capable of the everyday things that most people do?

I cried a lot yesterday and that helped.

I wish I could be normal.

I do wish you were more stable. I am glad crying helped. Sometimes it can be so releasing of all the pent up feelings. Maybe you could talk to your doc and see about adjusting your meds if you think it may help.

Please take care of you and I hope things start to even out. I know it is so hard when they aren't.

Crying can be cathartic.
Perhaps this is part of the acceptance, sad part of being bipolar. I too had so much energy yesterday and today I can't seem to get with any program feel like going to bed did not sleep well.
I wish it was easier for you and hopefully thisngs will pick up for you soon. I agree a call may be inorder.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hello Mets.
I hope things get better for you soon. Take care Soidhonia

Hi there,
I apologize for the rush, but you mention "therapist", is that just that? Or is this your pdoc? Talk therapists can be great, but they can not prescribe (at least in most of the US) meds nor can they monitor them, are you also under a pdoc's care? If so, it may be to your best interest to contact him/her about meds., dosages,combos, and/or new meds. that may be of help to you.
I know, so often we do not like to rely on meds., but at times they can be of help with mood stabilization, even depression, or both.
Please, contact your pdoc, or talk to your therapist in referance to contacting a pdoc, about future meds. or the ones you may be on.
I am so sorry I cannot give you more in depth support, I'm in a bind with real life issues right now and must log off.
But please feel free to drop in at this forum, there are so many terrific,supportive and fun people to share things with.
Meanwhile, I must logoff right now, but please, take care.

DE

this also sounds like alot of anxiety...any chance for an anitanxiety med to help you thru this time right now?
bizi

Thanks (((bipolar))). I am seeing my pdoc regularly and we are trying to deal with the meds. I hope I will be helped with the Lamictal which I am now titrating up. Your post sort of reminded me of a therapist who I had a long time ago who kept trying to tell me, to go easier on myself when my feelings go south.( And my husband says he feels bad that I get so down on myself when I am depressed.) I am starting to think I am not as accepting of mental illness when it comes to myself. I can be "enlightened" and accepting about others, but deep down I think I must have a weak character or I am lazy or many other negative problems.
Oh- I know what it was that reminds me of my old therapist. The gentle supportiveness of you and others here in response to my postings. That 's how my old therapist was. Here at psych central, it always surprises me how kind people are, because I am always beating myself up and expect others to do the same.

Meta

(((bizi))))

You are right, Crying by myself is cathartic. I have never been able to cry in front of other people without feeling devastated and totatlly defeated, but I think I have discovered recently it does help when I am alone. I think acceptance of being bipolar is what my therapist was trying to get at so many years ago, and I just kept thinking no, I am sure I can do something and this will go away. The course of my bipolar disorder does sadden me because I feel like my teenage years was when I peaked in judgment and maturity, and direction. It's a scary notion. Thanks for your thoughts and cyberhugs again, (((bizi))).

Meta

Thanks (((Soidhonia.)))

Meta

(((darkeyes)))

It was my therapist social worker who said my normal is slightly hypomanic. I will have to explore that further with her and my pdoc. I think things are going slowly because i am not the best observer and reporter at my pdoc appointments-I don't want them to think I'm crazy-lol. And you have given me plenty of support . Someday soon I plan to work up to going to one of the chats. Take care of yourself-it's the most important thing any of us can do. I hope things work out for you.

Meta

Meta

bizi, I do have a lot of anxiety and I take clonazepam which I am resistant to raising I suppose because it is addictive-but it may come to that.

Thanks again (((bizi)))

Meta

(((meta)))), i hope you feel better. i am in the same boat. i guess all i can say is ride the wave my friend.

agony007

http://www.moodtracker.com/index.php

this is a mood tracker site that can help track your moods, meds and even pmsing and most importantly sleep.
I wonder if this might help you gather data to give to your pdoc?
just a thought...it helps me.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

((((Meta)))) you sound like me! I actually started doing the moodtracker that Bizi recommended. It's pretty cool. I'm going to try and muster up some motivation to do a few things around the apartment. Hope you feel better soon.

lisad

Not trying to hi-jack this thread, but I saw the word, "motivation", I've been in this slump for almost 2 yrs. I'm starting to think it's due to my physical state, heck, if it's depression, it's pretty good at disguising itself, this time.
I need "motivation" real badly, and relate so much to how some of us feel.
I pray for all of us to feel motivated towards what ever it is we are feeling the need for. Mine is everything, diet,exercise,cleaning, and organizing my world.
If I at least would accomplish one, I may feel encouraged to follow through. Well, lets hope,pray,whatever one likes to call it, for motivation, and those in our worlds to have understanding of where we are at, and to also understand "we" do not like the feelings we get, nor can we control this all the time.
All of you reading this, I'm so happy we have this forum to come to and share the things we experience, and I am happy to meet all of you.

((((((( all that come here ))))))))))

I am so happy to meet you Darkeyes.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Can you look outside from the window and see what's out there? Simple trees, birds, flowers, park, dogs, cars, people etc?
Be still for a moment and think nothing, just looking and breathing easily and relax for a small moment. Do nothing just watching and listening to the environment surroundings. Let your face smile once more.

That is a good idea, I do that often, and it helps distract my mind for brief moments, of the real life things that are causing anxiety. It also helps me re-adjust my heart rate when the anxiety is causing it to race.

BTW loupopeye22, Welcome to PC!!

Thanks bizi,

I started using this yesterday!

Meta

goofy girl,

thanks-I agree it's a good idea!

Meta

(((agony)))
Yep, that's something I have to work on.

Thanks for the reinforcement.

Meta

You know I really do like trees and grass and flowers especially in spring--it's a good reminder, (((Loupopeye))))

Meta

Hey darkeyes,
Know what you mean about motivation. I am hoping my meds will help drag me up to the starting line at least. There were times in the past when I did that cognitive therapy thing where you rate how hard something is that you have to do and how much satisfaction doing it will give you. It always turned out that things weren't as difficult as I anticipated and the satisfaction was higher. It was a good motivator __I haven't done it though in a long time. Maybe I should.

I with you darkeyes --it is good to have this forum--it's so easy to believe otherwise no one else feels as I do.

Meta