[LadyShadow]

An up and down day. All in all pretty good. Feeling a little depressed about my appearance, but got out and did some things today.

[Pikku Myy]

I feel like giving up. Super duper down.

Originally Posted by Pikku Myy

I feel like giving up. Super duper down.

What's going on? Are you safe?

[UpDownMiddleGround]

Not a good day. Super anxious. Super sensitive. Tearful and angry. Overwhelmed. Hope tomorrow is better.

[Nammu]

to everyone that needs em

Trying to process that in one month and 11 days I'm up and moving states, and going to be having a roommate ( mom, she needs someone to help)after decades of living alone.

[Coconutzo]

Yesterday started out an absolute emotional disaster.
But. I saw my pdoc for a med adjustment and my boyfriend took me out to cheer me up. We needed to get away from the craziness and connect. It was nice.
Today I feel tired and a bit down but nothing like yesterday. I guess that's something

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[hopeless2015]

Trying to get going myself going for the day, need to get to work, I missed all last week I just feel empty and dead and have no desire to leave the house again

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[Coffeee]

Originally Posted by Anrea

Depressed - pointless depression. Last week mania, so this is the flip side starting. I really want to eat my way through it. Notice I am looking for things to get annoyed at as a way to build energy to counteract the depression. Stormy today, so cannot get outside to feel better. Broke cannot shop. Broke too often to internet window shop - seeing things I cannot afford would sadden me more. Out of shape. Old. Grouchy. Didn't sleep well. --- Maybe that is part of the cause. Made good choice of telling husband what I needed to avoid starting irrational fight. Asked him if I was a good person. (a problem of mine, guilt for no reason). He will reassure me if I need it, leave me alone if I need it, spend time with me if I need it he said, so I just have to identify my issues. I might make myself get up and go shower, and try to make good choices. But for this minute, I am going to stay here in my pj's at 12:30 in the afternoon and do nothing but sulk and mope.

This whole post sounds like me! Good choice telling your husband, hope things get better for you soon.

[Coffeee]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Thanks so much for your reply.

I'm having a VERY calm day today. My behavior scared me and I am fighting feeling guilty for drinking. My insight yesterday was just GONE and I swooped into hypomania so fast. I'm trying not to think about it.

I'm glad you get a calm day after that to rest.

[Daonnachd]

Not doing well today. Worse than the last few days.

[hopeless2015]

Sounds like a lot of us are in the same boat right now HUGS to you all!!

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[scatterbrained04]

Feel down. And frustrated. Nobody is EVER in my corner. I feel like just giving up.

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[LadyShadow]

Feeling alright today, felt like going out and getting hammered earlier, but that's not healthy. Having a difficult time with finding myself and spirituality lately.

[Wander]

Saw my pdoc and T today. Both confirmed that I do indeed have Bipolar but pdoc suspects ADHD so has prescribed Ritalin. Hoping that helps my concentration which is terrible. Also getting rid of Lamotrigine and reducing a few other meds now I'm past the IP crisis. Having my pdoc confirm with me that I do indeed have Bipolar after he said I didn't has been helpful. I'm not so confused now. He had his reasons.
My mood is still a little low and sad and my sleep has been all over the place. I have also been very anxious and overwhelmed but still I feel much better than a few weeks ago. Progress is being made so I believe I am going in the right direction. Upwards and onwards I go

[Wander]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feel down. And frustrated. Nobody is EVER in my corner. I feel like just giving up.

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Sorry you feel so bad scatterbrained. We are in your corner. I know it's not the same as real life but you are not alone. Hang in there. Things will turn around.

[Coconutzo]

I'm not sure whether I'm up or down.
I'm craving rushes.
Adrenaline up. Inhibitions down.
Caffeine. Alcohol. Weed. Sex. Running. Pills. Porn. Yelling. Fighting. ****ing. Ranting. Masturbating. Starving. Bones. Skin. Hot hot water.
Sensations.
Overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.
Who can I talk to? What would I say? I can't say anything at all. I can't sit still.
Put your hands on me. On my throat. The sun is shining. Please don't
Leave me. Let me be. Let me climb.
Let me sleep. Please don't.
Fear is fading fast. Replaced by...I don't even know.
I'm depressed but shaky,and I feel like I'm coming alive. Im barreling towards anything that seems like it would be too much to handle.

Sit still, good girl. Mouth shut. Hands hot, smashed under fleshy thighs. Breathe But not so hard.
It's getting hard to know what's happening.

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Coconutzo, I'm worried about you. Are you safe?

[Coconutzo]

I'm safe. I'm just spinning.
There's too much buzzing inside of me,a stomach full of bees. I also just feel empty like why is everything nothing and how can I make it real. I'm hunting sensations and aggression. I'm counting moments until I'm alone for the weekend. I need the freedom to scream and run wild. I'm about to claw out of my skin as it were. This thick flesh blanket.
I'm gonna go to work today and do good. I'm gonna eat fruit and make money to roll around in

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I understand. I hate that squirmy feeling and when I can't make sense of anything. I admire your work ethic and having money to roll in sounds fun. The only thing small enough to roll in my stockpile of money is a flea. Please stay safe.

[Coconutzo]

I watched a video of a doctor coaxing a centipede out of a woman's ear. How many wiggly things are in me!?!?
(Try not to focus on the bloat of your stomach. Was that there yesterday?)


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Don't watch the Botfly removal videos!!! It will change you.

I was sure I had a bug living in my ear for awhile. Turned out to be a lump of wax wriggling in my ear.

[hopeless2015]

Feeling a little better today, not so down and empty, hope it lasts

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Many
Concentration issues were interfering with post-reading. Missing comprehension. Sorry to not have responded better. Right down to the hugs button(!) Apologies for that.

Yesterday made the mistake of answering the door. No one would consider this interaction any big deal. Except Brain, who's running it on paranoia loop. Shut up, Brain!!!!!

I feared I was plummeting into depression but now I don't think so. Yesterday and today, I keep getting these "moments" where I'm so grateful for everything, including being alive. Everything seem "right and good". Not hypomanic I'm pretty sure..... Just happy and very content in these moments. I've been glued to the toilet with my IBS and even that has not brought me down in the dumps.

My motivation is screwed up though. Things I need to do but I'm not: exercise, eat well, drink 8 glasses of water a day, clean my bedroom, do some laundry, go to the grocery store (so I can stop eating fast/convenient food. I was cutting myself some slack for awhile because it's only been about a month since I've been decently stable, but it's time to get the cattle prod out if I don't get off my butt soon. I really cannot expect to be well, living like I am.

[pirilin]

I'm tired most every day. Muscle aches. I don't do anything to justify it. Depression?.