Mixed episode

I'm almost positive I'm going through a mixed episode.

I am puzzled by a couple things. Wondered if anyone has insight.

I'm not suicidal. I've had thoughts and I've attempted before...but I made a pact with my boyfriend. I will never do that again. So I'm not sitting here planning my death. Can I still be mixed.

I have surfed the Internet for two days straight. In jeans and a sweatshirt in my boyfriend's bed. I've slept some but my sleep is always erratic unless I'm in a depressive episode, in which I will sleep 16 hours a day.

It's very unlike me to be so still. Two days in bed, one activity. Really? I don't even know if I'm depressed. I've had lots of tears, including yesterday at pdoc's office.

I just don't care about things right now. Then I'll have tears pouring down my face, silently. And I don't know why. It's not hormonal. I'm on my meds.

I feel elements of mania. I recognize it. But it feels deep inside. Maybe that's why I'm so still.

This is so unlike me. It feels like I'm waiting for something to happen but I don't know what it is.

I feel tears again.

Any ideas? Just go with it, ride it out, I guess. It can be tons worse.

You sound mixed to me! Good luck riding it out.

Thanks and thanks for the hair compliment! I was going to reply but can't find your message. Or I don't know. Please resend if it was important. Maybe I haven't surfed the Internet enough and I need to practice more.

Well, I just talked to my boyfriend. No point in overanalyzing it. He said there aren't any rules and I'm not lazy.

I need to pick up my daughter at 5 tomorrow and I'm a good mom. So that will be my reboot. Massive Pokemon hunt will happen.

I'm "Kira"...just kidding lol

Mixed.... What did pdoc say?

You sound mixed to me, I have had different extremes of mixed. I have been mixed before that lasted a couple of days and the symptoms were not all that extreme. The last time I was mixed I was having visual and auditory hallucinations within 4 hours of noticing it, I ended up with a S.A. eating a bunch of pills and ended up inpatient. I think that just like any mood the severity can vary.
At any rate Here's a hug (((hug))) and I hope you feel better soon.

I feel for you. ((HUGS)) It sounds like a mixed episode to me too. It can absolutely still be a mixed episode, even when you are not having suicidal thoughts. It sounds like you have many symptoms of depression, and the fact you do not feel like yourself at all and can see the elements of mania in this episode all point to it being mixed episode. Do you feel more of the depressive symptoms or more mania at this point in time? Sometimes with mixed episodes, I feel both the mania and depression being equally as intense. Other times, the mania may be stronger with depressive features or vice versa. How intense would you say this episode is compared to your usual episodes? I hope the pdoc has some good suggestions for you and hope you feel better soon.

Ahhh that crazy point where mania and depression collide
I hate me a mixed episode
I hope you feel better soon.

He said to call him if I need him. I'm not suicidal or psychotic. I need to just ride this through. Im classified a mixed be predominant state with overall bipolar as "severe"...there is a classification level of how extreme the illness is and I just got unlucky. It's just the way it is. It will not change unless there is some radical medical breakthrough for bipolar disorder.

I've tried so many meds, he has me on the best combo we have found for me. He would have made a change if he thought it would help. He's very experienced and will not hesitate to make adjustments or changes in meds.

Like your line in your profile, I'm broken. I'm not comfortable at all. I'll call if I go over the deep end. My functioning sucks right now. I am disabled and this is my life. I don't like it but I'm doing my best. Thanks for your reply. xo

Thank you. xo

Thanks. It is mixed, mainly manic which is elevating. My cognition is poor. I haven't had a mixed episode in a long time. It has been much, much worse in prior episodes where I was floridly psychotic, disassociating, terrified I was being followed to culminate in a society commiting homicide.

So has it been worse before. Hell, yes. Thank you for asking me that. I'm not feeling optimistic but I'm mostly lucid and I don't want to kill myself and I don't think a secret society is after me.

That's my current version of seeing the glass half full. I'll take it.

I have my daughter tomorrow for the next five days. I have family support. We will be ok.

xo

Big gentle hugs to you!

I haven't been here, thus could not respond until just now.

You are describing yourself as mixed.
I think maybe your recent trip upset your sense of equilibrium?

Maybe things will shift back to where they were prior to the trip after some time passes. You're keeping an eye on things, which is what's needed at this point.

Your boyfriend sounds like a wonderful man; he loves you!

I hope you feel better pronto!



WC

Thank you! My pdoc does think the travel and the severe altitude sickness played a substantial role and it did start there. I'm staying strong. I have been due for an episode so I'm paying the piper now.

I'm scrambled and rambling. Going to go. Feel like I'm going to short-circuit and I'm sure you guys have heard enough. Thanks for supporting. xo

Hello petal,
Sorry you're going through this! Mixed episodes are the absolute worst, I've been in one for two weeks now, induced by the sertraline my old doc prescribed me (thanks very much for that!). I went to see a specialist yesterday who told me to immediately stop the sertraline and gave me seroquel instead to calm me down.
I used to self harm when I was younger and the mixed episode brought it all back, I felt like I [I]just had to[I] harm myself, it was very scary and I just wanted to die. So yeah, turns out there is something worse than pure depression, which I didn't believe. I learned the terror of mixed episodes in a very harsh way.
Lots of love, and here's to better days soon!!

Sorry to hear that you are not doing all. Hope you find some relief here soon.

No sleep. Feeling fairly calm.

I consider this forum my safe haven. I read some posts in "general population"....scurried back "home." lol

Me, AGAIN. Thanks for reading. Not feeling calm anymore. Fragile. Scared?

I'm having trouble distracting myself. I can't focus enough to read. Which stinks, books are my passion. I am unsure about my personal filter as far as the boards. Unlike me. And it's getting depressing reading about how sick we are, but nothing interests me...other stuff on the Web?

I'm not a tv watcher but my boyfriend and I gradually have been watching Lost. Mixed episode started in Colorado and we were watching Losr. I realized the "right" characters were not dying in the order I wanted them to and was mad? Lol

Feel so uncomfortable. I wish I had an escape. I'm usually self-entertained. Way too hot for outside. Whine, whine.

Thanks for reading xo

I'm sorry, you're in a mixed.

What happens after mixed? Mania? Depressive episode? I can't remember.

Post away! Mixed can be very intense and if this is the place that feels best, that's where to be. Any safe haven in a mixed! (Take off of "any safe harbor in a storm". Because that's what they're like!)

That's what we're here for!

From your post and our PMs I'd say you're in a bad spot. Can you call pdoc? Are you on meds? Maybe you need a tweek or something added. Hang in there I'll be around if you need to talk ((hugs))

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It feels like a club in this forum dosent it? A familiar bar where everybody knows your name. When I venture outside to the other forums it's like leaving my nest into the big city lol