i'm relieved.

managed to free the stuck cd from my sterrio.

the last thing I wanted to be doing was paying out another £38 to replace enchant

the cd wasn't working at first, but after i wiped the surface it played.

so yay

[raspberrytorte]

I'm so excited.

Husband and daughter are coming to get me today, and I'm staying with them for two weeks! Yea!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Sh#t... Another night with 2 hrs of sleep and hallucinations.

This time I'm seeing logos "fall off" of bags and boxes. I'm also watching things move across the floor

My pdoc is going to blame Strattera. I just know it!

Damn. No more ADHD meds for me

I think you are right.
sorry about the hallucinations.
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I'm so excited.

Husband and daughter are coming to get me today, and I'm staying with them for two weeks! Yea!

How exciting!
Have fun, Raspberry!


WC

[whoamihere]

I called in sick...again. I just have no motivation whatsoever. I've been in the same pajamas since Thursday. I'm going to make myself shower today, mostly because I hate the way my hair feels. Maybe after another cup of coffee

[dangerousanimals]

Waiting for meds doctor to call me back. My thoughts have been clearer and more chill in the morning, but afternoon I feel like I have to do all the things all at the same time!

[Coconutzo]

My head is starting to spin.
Energy level is rising.
Everything is funny, even though things are actually pretty tough around here.
Whatever.
Bye, Felicia!

[Gs550]

I brushed and flossed today. Wrote in my journal. I'm going to knit and watch Netflix and maybe later I'll make banana muffins.

[hopeless2015]

Took an fmla day...layed in bed all morning and sitting here now feeling sorry for myself. Husband came home at lunch to check on me which was sweet of him. I'll probably sleep all afternoon...maybe I can get myself back together tomorrow, just not feeling it today

[scatterbrained04]

Once again I've come home from work feeling like crap because I've been made to feel that way. I'm just not good enough.

[OctobersBlackRose]

I'm okay I guess, going over to my Dads for dinner, bringing my Geodon with me, hopefully I remember to take it after dinner.

Not good. Not good at all. Tired of trying. Just so sick of it all.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Not good. Not good at all. Tired of trying. Just so sick of it all.

I am sorry.
can you call a therapist if you have one? when do you see your pdoc again?
have you been sleeping?
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[gina_re]

I'm still here.
Tapering off of Lamictal. Going to add Buspar.

[Unrigged64072835]

Husband couldn't sleep and was in a very angry/weepy kind of mood. We had breakfast and he went back to bed before he could take me to T. (I have panic attacks behind the wheel and I haven't driven in a while, or else I would've gone myself.) He's feeling better now but I still worry about him. He's taking my daughter driving this afternoon so she can get some practice in. She has the same kind of anxiety I do about driving but at least she's trying. I panicked before T but I took a Vistaril and calmed down.

[fishin fool]

I am still fighting the fight

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry.
can you call a therapist if you have one? when do you see your pdoc again?
have you been sleeping?
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Thanks, bizi
I have an appointment... Friday I think (possibly Thursday). It's just a therapist, and only my second visit with. I'm kind of in limbo provider-wise, so med adjustment is(???). No ROI, no handoff. We'll see.

I flipped out at work. Really shouldn't even be here, but no work, no roof.

Sleeping, yes. But knocking myself out hard to do it. Wish I never had to get up.

Well, I finally got in contact with my pdoc..

He doesn't think Strattera is causing my manic episode right now, which is good to know. He also said that my hallucinations *might* have gotten worse due to a lack of sleep, so he said there's no need to be alarmed about worsening hallucinations. But we both agreed that the hallucinations are *not* due to a lack of sleep. They just get worse with less sleep.

He said to take 3 Ativans tonight to knock me out.

So I guess that's it. We see each other tomorrow.

Not to make light of your hallucinations, but the image of logos "falling off" bags and boxes seemed very clever to me; I can imagine an ad agency making a clever campaign based on the idea, so you're wicked smart even when you're hallucinating. I hope you can soon find stability and peace.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Not to make light of your hallucinations, but the image of logos "falling off" bags and boxes seemed very clever to me; I can imagine an ad agency making a clever campaign based on the idea, so you're wicked smart even when you're hallucinating. I hope you can soon find stability and peace.

lol. that would be awesome! i should start my own marketing agency!

i should write down all my fantastic ideas and keep them stashed away for later use. i already wrote my fantastic ideas about reincarnation

Originally Posted by rose1985

Oh I hear you on that, lol. But please no checking out early...

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm not and never have been suicidal, and at the moment I'm worth way more to my family alive.

I went through my first depressive almost three decades ago and have been cycling ever since, yet I haven't been able to maintain a durable memory of the pain of depression. It's part of the fun that I somehow forget again and again just how much it hurts, just in time to be knocked over by a wave of pain without reason. The pain is amazing and it doesn't go away.

I'm abandoning my usual DHS-derivative Sesame Street muppet condition chart for the slightly more nuanced yet even more ridiculous LESBIS (Lefty's Bipolar Intensity Scale, obviously), on which 10 is full-blown, force majeure, call-911 mania and 1 is depression unto oblivion, and I'm blowing a low 3. Somebody make it stop.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm not and never have been suicidal, and at the moment I'm worth way more to my family alive.

I went through my first depressive almost three decades ago and have been cycling ever since, yet I haven't been able to maintain a durable memory of the pain of depression. It's part of the fun that I somehow forget again and again just how much it hurts, just in time to be knocked over by a wave of pain without reason. The pain is amazing and it doesn't go away.

I'm abandoning my usual DHS-derivative Sesame Street muppet condition chart for the slightly more nuanced yet even more ridiculous LESBIS (Lefty's Bipolar Intensity Scale, obviously), on which 10 is full-blown, force majeure, call-911 mania and 1 is depression unto oblivion, and I'm blowing a low 3. Somebody make it stop.

Yeah deep dark depressions are tough. I used to get them almost every winter. I'm so glad you're not suicidal. Was worried about you. So I take it you've not had any luck in finding the right med combo?

Thank you so much for your concern. I've essentially given up on meds. It seems as if I've tried everything except ECT. I take a lot of Depakote, which is potentially dangerous, and I'm not sure it's even doing me any good, but I'm too afraid of mania during transition to try anything else. State-licensed weed vapor (which, as my avatar indicates, has turned me green) and prescribed benzodiazepines keep me from freaking out, but I easily develop a tolerance for them, and I've heard that benzodiazepine addiction is hell.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Thank you so much for your concern. I've essentially given up on meds. It seems as if I've tried everything except ECT. I take a lot of Depakote, which is potentially dangerous, and I'm not sure it's even doing me any good, but I'm too afraid of mania during transition to try anything else. State-licensed weed vapor (which, as my avatar indicates, has turned me green) and prescribed benzodiazepines keep me from freaking out, but I easily develop a tolerance for them, and I've heard that benzodiazepine addiction is hell.

Well I know everyone is different, but I've had tremendous luck with invega. I tried latuda, geodon, zyprexa, Seroquel. Depakote made my hair fall out really bad but for my mood stabilizer I'm on trileptal. Seems to be working. I'm still on a small dose of zyprexa for sleep. But hope to get off it eventually. Would you consider an ap?

Originally Posted by rose1985

Well I know everyone is different, but I've had tremendous luck with invega. I tried latuda, geodon, zyprexa, Seroquel. Depakote made my hair fall out really bad but for my mood stabilizer I'm on trileptal. Seems to be working. I'm still on a small dose of zyprexa for sleep. But hope to get off it eventually. Would you consider an ap?

Zyprexa