[hopeless2015]

Oh poodles, I'm so sorry your feeling so bad. Keep posting

Awwww, sweetie! (((((((((p00dlez)))))))))
I'm so sorry you're feeling so crappy. People can really suck sometimes...

[bizi]

Originally Posted by p00dlez

....so I guess I will just say good bye and I really do hope all of you have wonderful lives. I hope you feel better and don't let bipolar disorder get you down. Good bye

hey were we not nice to you? I will be your friend.
post when You are up to it....we will always be here.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[hopeless2015]

Having a good day mentally, I've been to work everyday this week and not late one time. I'm ready for the weekend though.

Hallucinations are giving me major anxiety. I'm going to have a panic attack at work! Words on my computer screen are warping

Plus, my grandma, who suffers from dementia, tried to commit sui about 1.5 hrs ago because she's depressed over my grandfather's death on July 4th.

Possible trigger:

She wouldn't admit what she did, but let's just say she hurt herself and there was LOTS of blood. She's been sent to the ER

I blame my parents for not doing anything about her. She threatened sui before, and they know she has dementia. They should have had her go to IP.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( hugs )))))))))

Originally Posted by p00dlez

Well after how today went I finally made a decision. I am going to stay the heck away from people. All they ever do is cause me grief and pain. I have tried and tried to fit in, to get people to like me, but nothing ever works.

Maybe its time to just cut my losses and throw in the towel and become a hermit. Its lonely with no friends or anyone that really cares if I live or die besides my husband and kids but maybe its for the best. I seriously cant take no more. Tired of crying over and over because of this.

Folks I don't know if I will come back anymore. Right now even being here seems like too big of a risk. I just cant try anymore, it hurts too much to keep being rejected like I am some sort of human trash. Sometimes I wonder why I was even born.

Why do people got to be so mean? I mean would it kill someone to be my friend? Am I really that bad? I don't know maybe I am. I am crying to hard to type anymore so I guess I will just say good bye and I really do hope all of you have wonderful lives. I hope you feel better and don't let bipolar disorder get you down. Good bye

[p00dlez]

Sorry for my meltdown yesterday. I have just been having a very hard time with people lately. I don't mean anything bad against any of you. Sorry all.

Today I am feeling a bit better mentally and physically. I got to eat a real meal last night after having to starve myself for two more days eating only the clear liquid diet.

Was trying to get my pancreas to calm down because the pancreatitis was coming back and I didn't want to end up in the hospital again. This has been really hard, I spent 4 days last week in all, not eating. I really hope this is the end of this and I don't have to go through anymore of it.

It does feel good to have something in my stomach again. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is finally over.

[scatterbrained04]

Tired of all the BS at work and extra workload with no increase in pay. Tired of coming home every other day exhausted and in a bad mood. Tired of having an employee that borderline bullies me but doesn't cross the line enough for me to justify writing her up so I can get rid of her. Tired of being too tired to have a personal life

[OctobersBlackRose]

Remembered to take my Lamictal today. Called and cancelled my therapy appointment for Tuesday, didn't feel like going to be honest. Right now it's just a blah day, a little depressed today, I think k the 26st when I see my psychiatrist I'm going to see if I can't add in an antidepressant (preferably a weight neutral one) into my cocktail. Also feeling a little more "real" today, and seeing the world as a bit more "real" today, maybe my Geodon is helping with that, my psychiatrist.said meds wouldn't help this, but they kind of do.simce we upped the dosage, I still have my bad days, where I fully believe nothing is real and I dont exist (my therapist says it's disassociation, I also think there's some delusional thinking mixed in too), I still do get paranoia, but it isn't as bad either, at least I don't think the police are after me all the time. So things are kinda of progressing a little bit at a time, baby steps.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Hallucinations are giving me major anxiety. I'm going to have a panic attack at work! Words on my computer screen are warping

Plus, my grandma, who suffers from dementia, tried to commit sui about 1.5 hrs ago because she's depressed over my grandfather's death on July 4th.

Possible trigger:

She wouldn't admit what she did, but let's just say she hurt herself and there was LOTS of blood. She's been sent to the ER

I blame my parents for not doing anything about her. She threatened sui before, and they know she has dementia. They should have had her go to IP.

(((HUGS)))

[Coffeee]

I'm having a good day, road tripping up to Washington for my best friend's wedding. Just tired, woke up super early to leave, hope that doesn't trigger an episode!

[Unrigged64072835]

Picked up all but two of my meds. Two have to be special ordered and I'll pick those next week. Still need to get into something. Haven't seen anything to get into here.

[Victoria'smom]

Last night my son told me he wanted to move out. I'm sad and angry and confused. He wants to move in with his aunt. IDK what to do. I know he's depressed but the kids not wanting to do anything. He's mad about his chores and his school work. He says we're always yelling at him to do something and don't care about him.

[Daonnachd]

MM, I'm sorry to see that. It must be rough.

I didn't sleep at all on my flight from CA to Paris, I ran out of one of my meds a couple days ago, and I feel pretty f'd up. It looks like somebody is trying to peel my eyelids off my eyeballs.

[dangerousanimals]

I just want to paint. Supposed to drive out to visit a friend tomorrow...not sure if that's going to happen.

[Unrigged64072835]

MM, my daughter did the same thing when she was younger. She just grew out of it. Your son doesn't realize the grass isn't greener on that other side of the fence.

I'm having a great day! Took my third driving lesson today. Drove all over, did good. There's a couple things I need to work on but overall it's going good. This weekend I'm going to go look at a car that sounds perfect for me. I'm so excited, soon I'll be driving in my own car, yay!

I feel happy. Happy that i'm on a diet and happy that i took a shower today and happy that i only had one nap instead of two. I'm listening to the radio and that's a good new activity for me.

[Wander]

Woke up today feeling almost alive for the first time in months. The depression may be lifting. Usually I wake up in hell, deeply depressed, exhausted and aching all over and this only lifts partially around midday then decends again in the evening. Today however I woke up less tired, in little pain and neutral in mood. While driving to my sisters I actually began singing with a song I played. Almost felt joy for a moment. After lunch I crashed and lay down for nearly three hours and my mood dropped but its a start. The Cymbalta must be kicking in!

drew some blood this morning (actually quite noticeable in some places of the room, should clean it up)

apart from that i've been making myself useful and being productive

got my shower done this morning and also scored 10 on my trivia ( as i said in another thread, i must truly be good at greek myth)

sorted out dinner in advance (scampi with waffles)

getting a new cd delivered later

today is going quite fast, I think. all ready 11 A.M

[scatterbrained04]

Kind of tired today. Decided to just rest and relax today. I'll tackle the mess tomorrow.

[Unrigged64072835]

Did three loads of laundry. Surfed on PC a lot. Not much else happening. Was supposed to go out this morning but it's been raining here.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Another rainy day today Have some anxiety, man I hate anxiety.

[hopeless2015]

Haven't done anything today except get groceries, going to shower in a bit and go out with husband for the night. Feeling pretty good

[Gs550]

I think I came out of the depression into a mixed state. I'm definitely feeling a lot better than I was, but at times I'm really anxious and bored and can't concentrate and lazy all at the same time. And at times I'll get this wave of intense emotion where I'll sort of feel like I need to cry but I don't know why and can't tell if they're happy or sad tears.

Ugh. At least this is mild compared to how bad the depression was so I'll take it.