My symptoms

For the first 3 weeks of September I was, let's say, hypomanic. I then became depressed afterwards.
And now I'm:
-super depressed
-still hearing and seeing things I'm not sure are there, much less than before though
-convinced that my house is bugged and I'm being watched
-convinced that my meds are fake (I still take them though) I just don't feel a difference.

Any idea what's going on with me?

Have you discussed it with your doctor? Sounds like you are suffering from a bit of paranoia. Could be caused or helped by a med change. It must be an awful state to be in, I'm glad it's a little better.

I don't see the doctor until next week.I don't think it's from a med change. I felt this way before I changed a med.

Sounds like you've got a good case of depression, paranoia and are possibly delusional. Can you call or write your doctor to let them know what is going on? They may offer advise which can at least give you the impression that help is on the way.....it could help you cope.

Every time I call my doctor he doesn't get back to me for days. I guess he is really busy. Any idea what will happen to me after I tell him all this? I don't want to go to the hospital at all.

In the US, they can hold you against your will if you are a threat to yourself, others or if you are unable to take care of yourself. Do you feel any of these things apply to you?

I don't think so. I only have thoughts of suicide sometimes. I've never acted on it though. I feel somewhat in control of what I'm doing. I'm still taking my meds even though I still believe they're fake.

Do you feel they are fake because you are getting worse rather than better or do you believe a conspiracy against you is occurring?

A little bit of both. I feel like they aren't working so the doctor must be giving me fakes.

Your doctors need to know the pills aren't working. I'd even let them know you worry you are being given fakes. I don't think they will hold you or hospitalize you at this point but I'm not sure. You deserve to feel better and deserve all the help you can get. (((Hugs)))

Thank you. My appointment is next week, so hopefully I'll get some new meds or upped on the one I already have. I still don't know what to do about the paranoia that I'm being watched: through the camera on my phone, the webcam on the computer, cars outside. the house being bugged. I don't know how to make it go away.

I can maybe help with the webcam thing.....I just covered mine over with black electrical tape. It really calmed me to know that nobody could see through it.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Paranoia is really tough.

Yeah paranoia is so hard. So sorry you're going through this. I got so paranoid once on here that I closed my account. It's horrible. I ended up in the hospital that time.

I think you may need a stronger ap. You still sound reasonable so I don't think they'll hospitalize you. One thing I've learned through this whole process is to have a good strong ap on hand to take as a prn just in case I get really paranoid. For me that's zyprexa. Now I haven't needed the hospital in 2 yrs.

Maybe ask for a prn....

I hope you feel better soon.

I understand the paranoia....I'm going through it now but it's not bothering me like it usually does. I kinda feel sorry for the people watching me....im boring...they should go back to the Kardashians. But I feel for you because it's usually not like this....I usually feel very threatened by it. I think medication has helped me with this. anti-psychotic. I'm not sure but you got to do something.....am I right?

Thank you. <3 Fighting the paranoia is hard. How did you end up in the hospital? I want to avoid that at all costs. I have seroquel as my AP. I tried zyprexa, but it didn't work for me. What does prn mean?

My AP is seroquel and I don't think it's working. I see my pdoc soon so we'll go from there.

Well I was on the verge of a psychosis. I went into a psychosis in 2011, but it had some of my past abuse elements in it. I was feeling like ppl on here were reading my mind and I was getting very obsessed again with this organization I was abused in. My mind was racing with thoughts of my past abuse and its all I would talk about as well as how corrupt this organization is. I wasn't sleeping and I was isolating really bad. My family was very concerned as well as my therapist at the time. I was very delusional. I was still trying to find the right meds and checked into the er, (there's no on call pdoc where I get my meds after 5 pm) and they admitted me.

I was even afraid the hospital was part of this organization that I was abused in. But I wasn't in a full blown psychosis so I went.

I think you'll be ok. But being hospitalized isn't the worst thing either.

Oh and a prn is an as needed med.

Oh I see. My mind is racing. I sleep a lot because of the depression. I tend to keep to myself and stay in my room. I feel like no med is the right med for me. Like they're all fake and won't work. And the paranoia about being watched. Do you think I'll stay out of the hospital? Also thank you for the prn thing I didn't know what that was.

Well I'm not your pdoc but I don't think you'll be hospitalized if you don't want to be. Yeah, I think they need to change up your meds. Try a different ap I would guess or increase the Seroquel.

Maybe for right now you could try some grounding skills. Those help me when I'm in a funk. I invested in essential oils. I use the lavender a lot. It's hard. Paranoia is a hard one to overcome.

Thank you for being reassuring. The only bad thing about upping my seroquel is that it won't make me sleepy. I liked that; it was easy to go to bed. I've tried tons of meds for anxiety, so I don't know if there will be anything left for me to try. Same with the antidepressant. I've tried a lot of aps and my family says that seroquel has been the best for me even though I don't see it. Also someone told me I might be suffering from psychosis, but I don't really know what that is.

I get very similar symptoms when I'm experiencing dysphoric/mixed mania. When mixed, I feel very depressed, paranoid, and get racing thoughts. Are you having a hard time sleeping too? That's also a big sign. Mixed mania for me usually does follow a hypomanic or manic episode too.

For me, an increase in Seroquel helped with the paranoia/psychosis. Maybe your pdoc will change your AP if Seroquel isn't doing enough for you, but of course only he/she would be able to come up with a plan regarding medication changes that could help you. Occasionally with the onset of an episode, my pdoc will add a medication temporarily, but once things calm down, I'll go off of the add-on (as recommended by my pdoc). Although there's different opinions by doctors about whether 2 AP's can help, I was on two at the same time, and it was effective at treating an acute episode. I really hope you find relief soon and get the help you need.

I feel very depressed, paranoid, and get racing thoughts too. I guess I'm mixed? I've never been mixed before. I just got out of a hypomanic episode and thought I was in a depressive episode now. Did you have a hospital stay for this?

I've tried many aps so I'm hoping he just ups the seroquel. I still feel like my meds are fakes and not doing anything though.

I was not hospitalized, but I definitely look back and feel that I should have been. When my moods get mixed, I have a tendency to not get help right away, because I get too paranoid about talking to doctors. I tend not to talk to people around the times where I need help the most. Also, I have very self-destructive thoughts and actions during mixed episodes when they become severe. I get agitated, hypervigilent, and have extreme difficulties sleeping during these times since I cannot turn off all the racing thoughts (especially surrounding paranoid delusions). It's strange, because it's a "high energy" type of depression.

The last time my mood started getting mixed, I was able to catch the warning signs in time where my pdoc was able to made some adjustments to meds, which helped prevent it from snowballing. The sooner you get help, the better.

Thanks for talking with me. I'm terrified of being hospitalized for many reasons. What you described sounds like me right now. Except for the sleeping, I'm sleeping a lot since my racing thoughts aren't constant. Is this psychosis? I see my pdoc next week so hopefully some changes are made. (not sure if i'd said that already) I got a tip to cover my webcam with tape which I did, but I'm still paranoid about being watched through my phone and that there are secret cameras in every room, and the cars outside (I live in the city). Bleh