[xRavenx]

It's been a crazy week.....I think I need DBT to help me better regulate my emotions, because they've been all over the place. I feel a tightness in my chest that won't go away, and I get shakey from anxiety. I feel like a burden to everyone. I seek closeness and support from time to time, but there are other times lately where I just stay in my room and don't want to bother with the world. I've been extremely impulsive though. My Pdoc has no openings until my next appointment, which is two Mondays from now....well overdue. I keep calling to see if there's any cancelations, but so far no luck.

[Wander]

Sorry you are feeling so bad. It sounds very uncomfortable and unstable. You have support here. PM me if you want to chat/vent. Really hope there is a cancellation, it sounds like you need help much sooner. Is there any meds that help that you have or can get a phone order for? just to get you though.

[Faltering]

I got my hospital bill today. Now I'm worried about how I'm going to pay for it. I can't pay for my meds either so once they run out, I'm in trouble. My symptoms have improved on the meds but they're still not well controlled. I don't know what's going to happen to me. The stress of work and finances is really getting to me.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I got my hospital bill today. Now I'm worried about how I'm going to pay for it. I can't pay for my meds either so once they run out, I'm in trouble. My symptoms have improved on the meds but they're still not well controlled. I don't know what's going to happen to me. The stress of work and finances is really getting to me.

Financial stress is awful and to be forced to make changes to your meds is so unfair. Is it just this month you can't afford the meds, or is it longer term? Are there generic meds that you can switch to? I don't understand the USA system. If you have to go off them can you talk to your pdoc about a tapering schedule rather than just stopping? I really hope you can find a way to stay on your meds. It is so wrong that you have to pay so much for hospitalisation. It should be free when necessary.

[Faltering]

Originally Posted by Wander

Financial stress is awful and to be forced to make changes to your meds is so unfair. Is it just this month you can't afford the meds, or is it longer term? Are there generic meds that you can switch to? I don't understand the USA system. If you have to go off them can you talk to your pdoc about a tapering schedule rather than just stopping? I really hope you can find a way to stay on your meds. It is so wrong that you have to pay so much for hospitalisation. It should be free when necessary.

I have 4 days of pills left out of 14 I got for free from the hospital. Then I will have to go to the pharmacy and see if they will let me have the other 14 the voucher covers (it was for 28 days total). After that, I don't know. I don't see a psychiatrist until next month. This medication doesn't have a generic yet so I might just have to try something else. The insurance did cover a lot of the cost of the hospital, but the copay is $150 per day and I was there almost a week. I'm upset about it because I never even asked to be in the hospital and knew I couldn't afford it.

I don't understand why my dogs like to play with the toilet paper so much or why nobody but me puts it on it's holder. Leave it on the floor and the dogs always sneak in and begin building some version of a doggy fort with it.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

...the dogs always sneak in and begin building some version of a doggy fort with it.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

That made me giggle!!! So funny....dogs are hilarious!

Look at the eyes on Red Lobster's costume.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Look at the eyes on Red Lobster's costume.

I know, I know.....I died laughing....it's hilarious.....and the caption and the stubby body at the bottom and the look on his face!!!!

ok. Not enough effing sunlight.

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

ok. Not enough effing sunlight.

It's getting real dark really early now. It sucks.

[Moose72]

Thanks for the silly Trump thread. I can't stand this whole thing, so that's made it a little more bearable.

I am still on my higher dose of zyprexa. Came home after lunch and took a long nap today. Don't know if that was the smartest thing to do, but it was nice all the same.

Its getting colder out and I know that the snow is coming. I don't know if I can take snow and Trump at the same time.

I am not allowed to have xanax, ativan, klonopin or the like so no calm-down drugs for me. I have to use benedryl or melatonin which aren't the same and aren't supposed to be used that way.

Got church/church choir early tomorrow morning. Doesn't seem a whole week since I saw those angels at church, but it has been. This week, there is no concert in the evening, or anything extra, just the service.

[Coconutzo]

High anxiety. Hella hopelessness. Little to no sleep. Anhedonia like a mergerluerger.
Anyway.
Whatever. Please stop it

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Wander

Sorry you are feeling so bad. It sounds very uncomfortable and unstable. You have support here. PM me if you want to chat/vent. Really hope there is a cancellation, it sounds like you need help much sooner. Is there any meds that help that you have or can get a phone order for? just to get you though.

Thanks...Klonopin is no longer helping me the way it used to for my anxiety ever since I had a recent flare up of panic attacks. I have received more sudden relief from Ativan in the past, and I did not get a tired, hangover affect from it. The only thing is, some doctors are a little hesitant to write prescriptions for it by phone since it is a benzodiazepine. I will call the office Monday and request to at least speak to the doctor personally, even if I can't be seen. Maybe she'll arrange something or have some suggestion. I also have a feeling it's time for her to add the Lithium as she (my pdoc) has been talking about, but I'm sure I'll have to be seen before that happens.

I finally took some time to myself today.

Normally I work on weekends to catch up on things, but today I decided to relax and watch some TV episodes on my iPad. I'll probably end up doing catch-up work tomorrow, but I usually have nothing better to do on weekends, so it doesn't bother me too much when I work on weekends like this. It gives me something to do, I guess... not to mention it somewhat distracts me from my current withdrawal-induced depression.

I do plan to read more during my free time, but I need to catch up on my TV shows before they disappear from my TV apps for good!

[VerMOZZica]

Today we went to the mall.Then to Micheal`s and Marshalls.Got some bargain Christmas shopping done.I don`t like to do Black Friday because I don`t like the crowds.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

He's already proven himself a lightning bolt for this elusive force;

Lightning rod, not bolt. Sorry, everyone...I shouldn't tell jokes in the Bipolar Check-in thread if I can't tell them properly. It's as if I've been heavily medicated or something.

[Wander]

Went on leave from IP with my Mum. Went to the beach and snorkelled. It was AMAZING! Being manic and snorkelling are a great mix. Sorted through my swimwear and culled as some are old and some don't fit as I lost weight since last summer. Feeling great. Nurse wanted to give me Olanzapine but I refused, at least for now. If I still feel wired by 8pm I will take some then to help me sleep. Just don't want to be brought down.

I have snorkeled while manic. For about 3 hours straight. Got bad sunburn on back. I rarely burn.

I've snorkels in Hawaii the few times I went and enjoyed it but was not manic. I can imagine how much more wonderful and vivid those colorful fish would have looked and the underwater world would have been even more impressive. I'm glad you enjoyed your day Wander

[Coconutzo]

Another night with no sleep. Drinking, fighting, crying, defeat.

My husband is up all night and sleeps all day. I hope he can fix his sleep cause I miss him. When he crawls into bed, I'm crawling out. Seems intentional but it's not. Hope we will both get back to sleeping normal hours soon.

[Unrigged64072835]

Frustrating day. I'm trying to learn JavaScript and I can't get things to work. I'm trying to learn Lightroom and it's not working either. I'm so worried about the future. I'm afraid for my family. I may have to go to school and/or find a job, and I'm not sure I can do either.

At least I got a load of laundry done. Small blessings...

[Wander]

Back ground: a few weeks ago PTSD stuff triggered me into a mixed episode. It was VERY bad for three days then I somehow snapped in a functional hypomania and obsessively studied for my exam. The day before my exam the trauma stuff hit me hard and I fell again into a dark mixed episode. For the next 6 days I was so unwell I plotted and planned my death. Then again, last Tuesday, I switched to euphoric mania. I just kept getting higher and higher and loved it.

So, late yesterday afternoon, after having an amazing day, the lights went out and I fell into a horrible mixed state. SI returned fast and heavy. I was given 10mg of Olanzapine but it did nothing so around midnight I was given 20mg more and I calmed down and slept for 6 solid hours. This morning I was a bit hungover from the meds but now, 10am, I feel awesome again. Invincible, powerful, god-like and joyful.

This switching is dizzying and dangerous. I want to stay manic forever but last night I recognised that for all my plans and activity I am not that functional while manic. Maybe I can find a way to stabilise at mild hypo-mania. Will talk to my pdoc today hopefully and see what he thinks. Just want to be well and get on with my life.