[boogiesmash]

So I just finished watching the movie next. Not great just killing time however it triggered me. When nick and Jessica get together. I started feeling down that I don't have a girlfriend and I'm fat. Now I'm going to the gym to workout. However what do I need to do? I feel this is becoming consistently triggersome. For past two years even looking at a beautiful girl I would get sad because I'd have no chance. It gets worse when I see couples together. Sometimes it affects me other times it doesn't. What's wrong with me. Why can't I lose this weight off. It's not from meds but from depression.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

So I just finished watching the movie next. Not great just killing time however it triggered me. When nick and Jessica get together. I started feeling down that I don't have a girlfriend and I'm fat. Now I'm going to the gym to workout. However what do I need to do? I feel this is becoming consistently triggersome. For past two years even looking at a beautiful girl I would get sad because I'd have no chance. It gets worse when I see couples together. Sometimes it affects me other times it doesn't. What's wrong with me. Why can't I lose this weight off. It's not from meds but from depression.

Losing weight is really tough. going to the gym is a great start. You can also reduce calorie intake where possible. I too am lonely and single. Seeing happy couples makes me sad and at times angry. then I feel like no one would want me due to my mental and physical illnesses. It is a horrible feeling and gets me down. Depression can cripple us. Try to go for walks it will lift your mood and also help with weight loss.

Saying that, the right person will no care about your weight as they will be in love with 'you'. Are you up to trying online dating? It has been crossing my mind for a while but I have been struggling with my bipolar, PTSD and Chronic Fatigue so haven't felt up to putting myself out there. I feel they will run once they know I am not perfect and instead am in a minimum wage job, doing university super part-time and unwell. Our minds are our worst enemies. I bet there is someone out there for both of us who will love us as we are.

[wildflowerchild25]

I feel you. I miss being in a relationship. It's a little different because I'm still recovering from my husbands death but I do miss it. I've gained fifty pounds in the last year and I feel like I'll never meet anyone now because I'm so fat (even though I'm not huge, but definitely fat). I don't even know where to start. My sister in law is going to help me set up an online dating profile when I'm ready, which will probably be springtime. I want to see if I can make it through the winter with no depression.

I'm sorry I can't help you I just wanted you to know I get it.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by Wander

Losing weight is really tough. going to the gym is a great start. You can also reduce calorie intake where possible. I too am lonely and single. Seeing happy couples makes me sad and at times angry. then I feel like no one would want me due to my mental and physical illnesses. It is a horrible feeling and gets me down. Depression can cripple us. Try to go for walks it will lift your mood and also help with weight loss.

Saying that, the right person will no care about your weight as they will be in love with 'you'. Are you up to trying online dating? It has been crossing my mind for a while but I have been struggling with my bipolar, PTSD and Chronic Fatigue so haven't felt up to putting myself out there. I feel they will run once they know I am not perfect and instead am in a minimum wage job, doing university super part-time and unwell. Our minds are our worst enemies. I bet there is someone out there for both of us who will love us as we are.

I didn't make it this depression is crippling me right now. I use to be fit and strong now I'm just flabby and pathetic. I'm feeling hopeless right now. I don't know why it is so hard to go back to my old routine. I don't know what's holding me back.

I've tried online dating and most of the girls that I see are disgusted when they see me in real life. I'm at the point that I'll browse but have no idea what to say anymore other than how are you?

I just want to curl up in a ball. My pdoc said that these are issues I have to work through and the Meds can help so much. We found a baseline and all the things I was depressed about are issues I have to work out. I feel like I'm a loser going to the gym at this time while down the road there are all these bars and people having fun.

[boogiesmash]

It feels like I'm stuck or in his constant circle that I need to break through. Man I feel like s;:t now. Nothing has panned out. It's all been one failure to he next since I hit my thirties. Disappointment after disappointment, quitting and not trying. I use to work out 6x a week and I was content and happy. Had a good meal plan too. Now I have no idea where that went or why I can't start and commit to it.

If losing weight were easy, pretty much everyone would be thin. We have an obesity epidemic and I will avoid sharing my conspiracy theories on why that is. The good news is that losing weight is possible. It takes a lot of money to fix a face but dieting can be relatively inexpensive (if you do it right it costs more of course) but it's accessible to most of us. Like with any bad habit, we need to be in the right place before we make lasting changes. For some we get into this place out of sheer disgust and being tired of it for too long....for others they need to learn to love themselves regardless before they make any real change. What do you feel is your biggest obstacle to achieving your goal? You mentioned depression and that will certainly do it. Are you always depressed? Do you have a plan or are you working with doctors to try and manage your depression? Can we support you in any way on your journey to reaching your goals? Is there anything specific we can do to help?

(((Hugs to you boogie))) Some women, including very attractive women like bigger men.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

If losing weight were easy, pretty much everyone would be thin. We have an obesity epidemic and I will avoid sharing my conspiracy theories on why that is. The good news is that losing weight is possible. It takes a lot of money to fix a face but dieting can be relatively inexpensive (if you do it right it costs more of course) but it's accessible to most of us. Like with any bad habit, we need to be in the right place before we make lasting changes. For some we get into this place out of sheer disgust and being tired of it for too long....for others they need to learn to love themselves regardless before they make any real change. What do you feel is your biggest obstacle to achieving your goal? You mentioned depression and that will certainly do it. Are you always depressed? Do you have a plan or are you working with doctors to try and manage your depression? Can we support you in any way on your journey to reaching your goals? Is there anything specific we can do to help?

(((Hugs to you boogie))) Some women, including very attractive women like bigger men.

My p doc said I'm baseline with Meds. I just have to work these issues out. It just feels repetitive and I'm stuck. I can't move forward. Sometimes I try to prepare other times I'm on a whim. Everyone in my mental health team has said same thing. In order to make progress, get a relationship, succeed and be happy, I need to love myself. I don't know how and to be honest I hate where I'm at, what I become how most of my free time is spent crying or staring at my ceiling. I've said this before but I'm not living. Im just existing. I have no fun I try but it's not there.

[boogiesmash]

What do I need to do?

[boogiesmash]

I feel so sad and helpless. Defeated.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

My p doc said I'm baseline with Meds. I just have to work these issues out. It just feels repetitive and I'm stuck. I can't move forward. Sometimes I try to prepare other times I'm on a whim. Everyone in my mental health team has said same thing. In order to make progress, get a relationship, succeed and be happy, I need to love myself. I don't know how and to be honest I hate where I'm at, what I become how most of my free time is spent crying or staring at my ceiling. I've said this before but I'm not living. Im just existing. I have no fun I try but it's not there.

What you have described is not baseline....your doctors are missing something. That sounds like full on clinical depression and unless you're superman, you won't be able to consistently make changes while in such a state. Have you considered getting a self esteem building workbook? I might be wrong but I seem to recall you mentioning one? Maybe that was someone else, my wires get crossed.

Do you use food as a coping mechanism? Do you eat to fill a void or because it releases happy chemicals which make you feel better in the short term? Building muscle will help you burn more calories while stationary but the majority of weight loss has to do with food consumption. Anything I could suggest would probably insult your intelligence because you've probably thought of it yourself. Eat wholeREAL foods....if it doesn't rot, don't eat it. Avoid anything in a package or box.

(((Hugs)))

[boogiesmash]

I use to be Mr fitness. Had a nice frame and muscular. That's changed. I do have a self esteem workbook but haven't even opened it yet. Got stuck half way through a dbt book and then went to read a motivational book go sweat. And I'm only half way through that. That's a nother point. I never finish things through.

[boogiesmash]

I have tons of muscle food recipes hat are very health conscious and was my staple. Now I just go for what's quick and easy. Been that way for the past two or three years. F)$- I got a wedding in 3 and half months. I'm crying now.

[boogiesmash]

The baseline was because my depression episodes were t lasting as long. And it was reoccurring issues that I haven't resolved. She said if I'm feeling great the other time then work on those issues with my t. Before I went to that appointment I talked to my t about dbt and she recommended going out patient. She thinks it would be very beneficial to me. Only problem with my supposed workout schedule other job and Xmas season around the corner I'm not gonna have time for it.

[boogiesmash]

I'm actually feeling but better now. Not crying. Just realizing I need to find my why for working out. I have plenty to answer but I guess it's not enough. It used to be fun for me but feels like it is such a chore. The book I'm halfway reading no sweat tries to change your mindset and noticed few dbt techniques.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

The baseline was because my depression episodes were t lasting as long. And it was reoccurring issues that I haven't resolved. She said if I'm feeling great the other time then work on those issues with my t. Before I went to that appointment I talked to my t about dbt and she recommended going out patient. She thinks it would be very beneficial to me. Only problem with my supposed workout schedule other job and Xmas season around the corner I'm not gonna have time for it.

The food is more important that the workouts. Workouts are good too, but food is where you will see the biggest loses on the scale. Park further away and walk more....you know, the typical stuff a doctor would suggest. I know people are anti drug for weight loss and studies show it just comes back but have you talked to your doctor about a possible short term fat loss booster or appetite suppressant.....I'm not recommending it just throwing it out there as an option. Some even go so far as to have surgery and sometimes it's in their best interest to do so. Not saying I recommend that either but would support you in anyway you choose to get healthier and happier. I'm happier when I'm thinner and healthier....my depression still hits but my stable periods are filled with more joy. I need to drop about 20lbs myself but I realize that's not that big of a deal and some people have a much taller mountain to climb. These 20lbs are stuck on me and I'm struggling to motivate also. Do you have a workout partner? If not, perhaps you could find one once the holiday season is over and you have more time for workouts.

[boogiesmash]

Ok I'm back and feeling baselined I guess. Not sad anymore. Ate couple eggs. Going to wake up early tomorrow and hit the gym. I used to follow the abs diet and was looking super good on that. I'll make it a point to revisit it this weekend. Going to read my book no sweat.

[boogiesmash]

Btw that's what I described to my pdoc. Feeling like crap for about an hour then feeling ok to good after it. Not cycling just have to not listen to triggers and resolve my issues. Thanks for listening to me. Wish I did this earlier so would of actually gone to the gym now lol. Oh well doubles to,orrow and looking forward to it.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

Ok I'm back and feeling baselined I guess. Not sad anymore. Ate couple eggs. Going to wake up early tomorrow and hit the gym. I used to follow the abs diet and was looking super good on that. I'll make it a point to revisit it this weekend. Going to read my book no sweat.

Enjoy your book and glad you are feeling better Boogie. Good luck and we are routing for you. We are your PC cheerleading team. B O O G I E, you can do it wait and see. Pyramid formation.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

I'm actually feeling but better now. Not crying. Just realizing I need to find my why for working out. I have plenty to answer but I guess it's not enough. It used to be fun for me but feels like it is such a chore. The book I'm halfway reading no sweat tries to change your mindset and noticed few dbt techniques.

That's the problem. If working out feels like a chore you're not gonna do it. I know for me the only exercise I like is riding a stationary bike. Everything else feels like a huge pain in my ***. Unfortunately I don't have time to go to the gym anymore bc I don't have a sitter for my son. I'm trying to figure out how I could fit an exercise bike into my moms tiny house but to no avail so far.

I also agree with Elsa mars. Losing weight is working out but also changing your diet. That's where I fail and fail HARD. I do well for like five days but then the weekend comes and I lose it. Drinking every ******* night that I don't have to work doesn't help. But I like drinking. So I dunno.

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. I think you do have to focus on loving yourself for who you are. Try not to focus on your perceived failures and focus on what you have achieved instead. For instance, you're still alive even though I'm sure your bp could have taken you down. Sometimes when I have bad days I remind myself I could have ended it all but I chose life instead bc I'm just that strong. You're strong too. I see it in you. You have to see it in yourself. I hope one day you can.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Enjoy your book and glad you are feeling better Boogie. Good luck and we are routing for you. We are your PC cheerleading team. B O O G I E, you can do it wait and see. Pyramid formation.

The boogie cheer just put a big smile on my face.

[Foxymama2016]

Originally Posted by Wander

Losing weight is really tough. going to the gym is a great start. You can also reduce calorie intake where possible. I too am lonely and single. Seeing happy couples makes me sad and at times angry. then I feel like no one would want me due to my mental and physical illnesses. It is a horrible feeling and gets me down. Depression can cripple us. Try to go for walks it will lift your mood and also help with weight loss.

Saying that, the right person will no care about your weight as they will be in love with 'you'. Are you up to trying online dating? It has been crossing my mind for a while but I have been struggling with my bipolar, PTSD and Chronic Fatigue so haven't felt up to putting myself out there. I feel they will run once they know I am not perfect and instead am in a minimum wage job, doing university super part-time and unwell. Our minds are our worst enemies. I bet there is someone out there for both of us who will love us as we are.

I agree. There is someone for everyone. I personally believe what a persons weight is does not matter. I've seen all sorts of couples. What matters is the love they have for themselves and then each other. I'm sure you have qualities you love about you. Everyone's outside appearance changes. What do you have going for you that matters?

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by Foxymama2016

I agree. There is someone for everyone. I personally believe what a persons weight is does not matter. I've seen all sorts of couples. What matters is the love they have for themselves and then each other. I'm sure you have qualities you love about you. Everyone's outside appearance changes. What do you have going for you that matters?

--------response Great thoughts from everyone. Going to a group might get your confidence up and help you make some friends. Friends last longer than many so called relationships. What interests you? The website Meetups allows you to get together with people who have common interests. Being a person with interests will help your relationships to thrive. I fight this battle myself. Maybe you could carve out some time to take a class, a great way to meet people. You could talk to a community college counselor about possible careers that you might enjoy more. Exercise is a must for depression, but as the others said, don't feel you have to look different to meet someone. What the person will be attracted to is your personality, eg, the part that is uniquely you. Try to find a situation like a group that will allow you to show that to others.