Bipolar Check in thread #15

Wild Coyote · Jan 22, 2017, 12:02 PM

I'm around. Reading here daily. Quiet while trying to adjust to treatment changes.

Lots of Love to All,

WC

Eddiesmom · Jan 22, 2017, 12:19 PM

I am going through a low period after a manic period it's like the medicine has finally kicked in I am a little manic and my brain and body are on slow speed. I get stuff when I need too but I am on a slide into an unknown depression, I have reason to be depressed so I will state that, my husband has bone cancer in his hips and has a spot on his liver, we have been on this road for 2 and a half years and half years and I have been his caretaker he had his bladder out and he got a new bladder on the inside and then a year later to the day of that surgery we found out he had metastasized bladder cancer, I haven't been on bipolar meds for a long time but decided with everything going on in my life I better! It has helped
Regulate some things but I feel like a blob by 6, it could be the darkness too, keep fighting! Hugs to u all!

Daonnachd · Jan 22, 2017, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justafriend306

This is to be expected. How many were you originally scheduled for (we don't get just one). I am pretty certain the norm is 2-3 days a week for about 4 - 6 weeks.

I had already had an acute series and was in maintenance phase. They were going two or three weeks between treatments.

This second acute series comes from my being open and honest about having had suicidal/homicidal thoughts, urges, whatever. I maintain, however, that with the coping strategies my T has given me, and the periodic ECT treatments, I can cope with this without the acute series.

Moose72 · Jan 22, 2017, 12:56 PM

At church. Going to sing at another church in a bit. Leaving in an hour. I'd rather nap but oh well. My ex took me and our son out to eat for lunch so that was nice.

12AM · Jan 22, 2017, 01:00 PM

On a guilt trip and bringing paranoia in a suitcase.

Possible trigger:

I feel like torturing myself mentally by triggering any triggers that I could find

LadyShadow · Jan 22, 2017, 03:18 PM

An up and down day. I want to reach out but I can't. I want to talk, but I don't want to. So odd. I feel so off. It's a weird feeling. I feel like utter poop. It's one of those rare days where I am extra low. I just hope that maybe a nice shower and some incense can pull me out of it.

Unrigged64072835 · Jan 22, 2017, 04:57 PM

Went to another park and took a walk. Worked on my photos that I took yesterday. Still feeling anxious. Thankfully I have T tomorrow.

xRavenx · Jan 22, 2017, 07:22 PM

The extreme cycling is getting harder to keep up with. Maybe it's signs of mixed mania, or it's more like rapid cycling.

Possible trigger:

but mixed in there are suicidal thoughts and the tears just keep flowing

I'm still having these long, intrusive thoughts and fantasies. Some of them are very dark and of a self-destructive nature. The tears keep flowing. I've also been fighting feelings of loss. It was the first anniversary of my best friend's death two days ago, but I've stuffed those feelings down. I've been reflecting on this year of manias and depressions, plus life changes, without really catching much of a break. I feel energy, but it's euphoria to dysphoria, irritability, and sadness all within a short period of time. I use distractions, but nothing takes the pain away.

My mind is elsewhere and I want to be able to have more control over my thoughts. I am also more impulsive again. I see my pdoc tomorrow and my therapist. I keep wanting to keep things to myself, but I know I can't anymore. I know something is way off, but I'm not sure what it is. I feel hypomania and depression, plus had a mixed manic episode a month back up until 2 weeks ago, then felt slightly better, but I think it's back worse. Since the mania, I was recommended 600 mg Seroquel, but I refused to go up that high all at once since side effects scare me when it comes to weight gain. Maybe that's why I am still experiencing problems, and it's my fault I didn't taper up as quickly as she wanted me to. Sorry this is a long post. Just getting it out.

bizi · Jan 22, 2017, 07:49 PM

It is really windy out! The wind chimes are a wailing!
bizi

Wander · Jan 22, 2017, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

It is really windy out! The wind chimes are a wailing!
bizi

I love that sound!

Standup2me · Jan 22, 2017, 11:10 PM

I went from feeling okay to feeling like I want to cry
I hate my boss, I wish he were dead
I hate my job
And I hate living someone where it is always cold

Standup2me · Jan 22, 2017, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Standup2me

I went from feeling okay to feeling like I want to cry
I hate my boss, I wish he were dead
I hate my job
And I hate living someone where it is always cold

Somebody help me

Wander · Jan 22, 2017, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Somebody help me

Sending you love and hugs through the web. Do you have any family/friends you can call for support? Or a crisis line? Can you get an emergency appointment with your pdoc and/or T? It sounds like you are really suffering. PM me anytime if you just want someone to chat to. Take care.

bizi · Jan 22, 2017, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Somebody help me

I am sorry you are struggling so.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

LadyShadow · Jan 22, 2017, 11:24 PM

Feeling infinitely better than I did earlier. Spent some time on some forums, may write a bit tomorrow. Maybe it's mania, I don't know.

Oh just a bit of advice for anyone having a bit of trouble:

I was feeling like utter poop earlier, but I stepped AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER and took a shower and mellowed out with some incense, and some TV. It did me wonders. Sometimes we need to get away from the web a bit.....

LadyShadow · Jan 22, 2017, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Somebody help me

We are here for what it's worth.

emgreen · Jan 23, 2017, 05:08 AM

Damn! Another night with little sleep! I did, however get 5 hours last night, which is being like Sleeping Beauty at the rate I've been going. I've been getting cases of "the giggles" lately which, while they feel good, make me wonder if I'm heading into mania. I'll fight to prevent it, though...There was a time when I looked forward to mania, but I now enjoy stability & want to maintain it when I can.

Jan 23, 2017, 08:42 AM

I called my psychiatrist's office Friday to see if I could get fit in (I am concerned I might be hypomanic) but to no avail. It seems they were out of the office. I did speak to the assistant for another pdoc as to did I feel the condition bad enough to be putting me in danger. Well, I'm far from that.

I am not sure though whether I have the where-with-all to do so today. I feel better but that could be simply that I had a good and busy weekend. Procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinatel

Jan 23, 2017, 01:33 PM

never got to have my meeting, since she pushed it back to friday

actually she emailed me saying her morning visit had overran and she couldn't see me.

oh well

just your average boring depressing day really

I did have some nice chicken for dinner though. that was nice..

Unrigged64072835 · Jan 23, 2017, 05:09 PM

I had racing thoughts last night so I didn't sleep well. I sent out four poems though, so that was a plus. Didn't finish working on my pictures and only got one load of laundry done. Hopefully I'll do better tomorrow.

Standup2me · Jan 23, 2017, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Sending you love and hugs through the web. Do you have any family/friends you can call for support? Or a crisis line? Can you get an emergency appointment with your pdoc and/or T? It sounds like you are really suffering. PM me anytime if you just want someone to chat to. Take care.

Thank you thank you, I just needed words of support
I am married, but I feel so alone.
I have no friends
So alone

Standup2me · Jan 23, 2017, 05:33 PM

Am I the only one who sometimes feels so alone in this?

Moose72 · Jan 23, 2017, 06:17 PM

OMG. My 15-year-old is so stubborn! He has a piano lesson at 6:15 on mondays. His step-mom came to get him at 6:00. But before she arrived, I went to get him in his room to tell him to get ready. He was asleep! So I tried to wake him up, but he refused to wake up. He tried to stay asleep and ignored me. This went on even AFTER his step-mom got here. I told him that I, his step-mom and his teacher were all waiting for him to get up and get ready for his lesson tonight. It finally took his step-mom going up there and she saw him run into the bathroom and close the door. She came downstairs and he then did come downstairs and get his shoes on. Finally! Why are teenagers so stubborn and irrational?