Intrusive Thoughts and Random Crying Spells

Over the span of maybe four months now or longer, I get intrusive thoughts out of the blue where my mind wanders to a place or memory....where I feel completely disconnected from what is going on around me. I will begin to get teary. This can happen randomly at work, or when I am driving. It happens almost every day, and it feels like I'm being haunted by something. I lose control of my thoughts and they race. I do take Klonopin to try to bring me down, but I have doubts it's doing much to help me.

I try to bring this up to my therapist, but maybe I am not describing myself well, even though I do try. I suspect she doesn't really know what to do about it. I don't think any meds can help with this problem either, unless anyone here had good results with any particular medication. AD's are out of the question, by the way, but I don't know if there's anything else.

Whether it's medication or therapy techniques, or anything else in the world...all I know is this problem has been causing me a lot of pain emotionally, and I worry that I will be burdened with this problem forever.

I am just so tired of experiencing this. It is uncontrollable. I guess I am venting, but I feel I can benefit from anyone sharing if you've had experience with this problem in any way at all or have any ideas as to what I can do. I am at a loss.

Sorry this happens. I've had intrusive thoughts too, and they're definitely no fun.

Do these places or memories have a common theme? for example, childhood trauma, or maybe you're remembering a loved one who died. etc. etc.

Mine involve all the anger and upset feelings I've experienced.

Since mine have a common theme, I am working with my therapist to let go of those past "angers". I've discussed what causes these angers, what the angers feel like, and create an action plan for how to let things go.

I'm wondering if yours have a theme of some sort?

The people I miss pop up in some of these thoughts.....some who are now deceased, like my best friend. Other times, they are flashes of when I was deeply hurt or angry at certain people, and those moments bring me right back. Flashes of when I lost control out of anger do come up. I know pills can't resolve some of these things....but they just pop up, and I kind of dissociate during these times.

During mixed manias, intrusive thoughts come up that make me paranoid where I think I am being investigated. Luckily, I haven't had those thoughts in a while....I think the AP is preventing that.

I am also reminded of how my life took a turn for the worse and tired of how Bipolar ruined things for me and anger at people who have betrayed me. These are reminders that I wish I can go back to a time where maybe I was hypo, but felt alive. I have constant reminders pop up of a time where at least I had certain people and things in my life that are now gone. It really hurts. I did not think life would lead me to a place where I feel so scared, untrusting, and that I do not know what direction I am going in.....at all.

I agree -- the recurring theme appears to be "feeling hurt". Losing someone you care about hurts. Guilt arises from you losing control of your anger, or even having anger in general. Guilt hurts too. And of course your life "taking a turn for the worst" also hurts too.

Maybe you need to discuss with your therapist how you can confront and "overcome" hurt? In my opinion, you dissociate because you want to make that hurt go away. But plenty of people do this dissociation thing, so you're definitely not alone.

So again, I think your therapist can definitely help you with confronting hurt. Maybe she can give you some useful tips? I know you said she isn't helping very much, but maybe it's best to just tell her that you have recurring feelings of hurt, and that those feelings arise from guilt, loss, "failures", and betrayal? That cuts right to the point and avoids you from having to say things that she has to read the lines between. And ask her how you can "prevent" dissociation?

I think the whole "living in the past" thing falls under the "loss" category, which also includes loss of loved ones.

Wow, reading your post makes me think of what I have been experiencing all this week. People I no longer have in my life and can't do anything about it. Thank you for sharing that because now I know I'm not alone. Good luck to you.

Thank you for the suggestions. It is so true that I have this automatic dissociation response in reaction to wanting to escape the pain. I hate how it is so "automatic," like I can't control it. You summed up these issues well, in a way where maybe my Therapist will be able to get down to the bottom of these themes so we can work towards a solution, once I share.

I have spent time with her processing some of the losses and feelings of hurt, but it has not yet made a difference in changing the thoughts that come and go and their impact on me. I hope she has some insights she can share on ways to prevent dissocation. I see her on Monday.

I used to suffer from intrusive thoughts a lot - like to the point I couldn't function at all because I'd be stuck staring at a wall for 4 hours in total agony. Therapy helped me a ton - so much my OCD has been in remission for years and I don't even really think about it anymore. The stuff I learned continues to help me deal with other obsessive thinking, anxiety, and maintaing perspective more generally.

CBT was what helped with the intrusive thoughts, and Mindfullness for disassociation etc.

I'm so very sorry you deal with this. I can relate to many things you've said and I too think that doctors cannot help. Maybe the right therapist can? I hope you find some peace in your life and I'm sorry for all you've lost. I'm just now truly realizing that all the people I've lost who I once wished were still in my life were abusive or not good for me. Im very lucky however and have my share of wonderful people who have stuck around, even when it might have been easier to walk away. It sounds like you've lost some that were good and I'm so sorry to hear that. Don't give up on yourself, you have the potential for happiness and truly beneficial relationships going forward. Love yourself and remember you are worth whatever it takes to get better. You deserve to feel better.

I know that many of the mental health issues I suffer will never go away and all I can do is find ways to accept and work around them....but at least I now feel I deserve better than what's been done to me in the past and that helps. I hope you can find a way to accept that some things might stick around but that doesn't mean you can't get better(((Hugs)))

For me grounding helped for intrusive thoughts and anger. I have PTSD so mine was from abuse but I have been able to overcome most of it with proper meds and grounding skills and dbt skills.

I hope you feel better soon. Hugs

Thank you everyone.

I am going to try to keep hope that some of these problems will get easier to deal with as time passes. Hopefully when I bring up some of these problems again in therapy, I can begin to learn some new skills, but I think I need to accept that this will be a process. Sorry to all who struggle with similar problems.