[Wander]

Since leaving hospital I was great for a few days then fell into exhaustion after maybe overdoing it. In the last couple of days I have become very agitated. It is unsettling as I start work tomorrow and feel anything but ready for it. Will have to medicate myself to get through I think. Generally feeling low and anxious. My T said this is common after long episodes and to take it easy as I can but also engage in life as much as possible. Today I was so irritable I nearly bit my Dad's head off even though he was trying to help me with a technology problem. I just didn't have the patience for it. Scared I am falling into another episode already, a mixed one. Just hope it passes quickly and I can get back into a semi-normal life.

I've not much to really complain about (well, lack of sleep but that's every day so)
still quite angry at my mental health worker not getting back to me yesterday, and I will, at some stage today, make a complaint.

I spent most of the morning binging (shame, I know), but I did.

I didn't get my groceries done yesterday so need to go online and order them this afternoon (1 of the things on my list is waffles, run out!)

tomorrow, I am meant to be beginning my 6 week anxiety course, though every inch of me wants to cancel- I feel my moods might get in the way of focussing

[bpforever1]

The interview was difficult and was only one of a three-part interview process. I was not happy. The job entails technology which I am unfamiliar with doing. I could learn but it seems this company is often seeking people to fill this position every three months. I am wondering the reason for this and am thinking they have a high turnover rate for this position. The job pays well for the hours they expect. But, I am thinking they can't find people to stay in this job and need to have something to attract people to apply. I think I am going to focus on another company which is not as technologically up-to-date but is more old-fashioned and not into gimmicks. I prefer this style rather than gizmos and gadgets for teaching. I am rather new at teaching and may be down the line with more experience, I can appreciate innovative styles of teaching but for now old-fashioned methods of teaching is more suitable at my level of experience. I also don't think I made the cut for the next interview anyways. Thus, I am glad that I have other opportunities available.

Feeling like death

Literally haven't been able to talk at all for the past 3 days. Had to text my mom to have her set up an appointment for me at the doctors office because of my lack of voice. I might bring a piece of paper with me to the dr office to write down what's wrong since I won't be able to talk

I hope I don't have bronchitis because I was near my grandma who has it.

[wonderluster]

So I realize now that my crazy crisis is all about me being in a very complex and difficult situation mixed with very complex and difficult people and myself;
who is also very complex and difficult with BPD and PTSD added.

If your recovery goes well for a while and you get to feeling comfortable and proficient in the normal activities of daily living and you get bored,
I suggest selling everything you own, pack a large suitcase and carry on, fly to an exotic country where cows roam the streets and marry someone you met on facebook.

Add in loads of intrigue that trigger your PTSD and don't leave out the bi-polar and an insecurity or two.

Make sure the person who's life you are jumping in to with eyes wide shut is feisty and volatile and as nuts as you are.

Of course they're are as nuts as you are; they want to marry you!

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by Wander

Since leaving hospital I was great for a few days then fell into exhaustion after maybe overdoing it. In the last couple of days I have become very agitated. It is unsettling as I start work tomorrow and feel anything but ready for it. Will have to medicate myself to get through I think. Generally feeling low and anxious. My T said this is common after long episodes and to take it easy as I can but also engage in life as much as possible. Today I was so irritable I nearly bit my Dad's head off even though he was trying to help me with a technology problem. I just didn't have the patience for it. Scared I am falling into another episode already, a mixed one. Just hope it passes quickly and I can get back into a semi-normal life.

It sounds like you are experiencing the normal anxiety of returning to work after a long break. Try to remember that work is only a part of your life.
It is not your life. Try to master the art of being in the here and now and let tomorrow take care of itself!

You will get into the work routine in no time at all.

Best wishes!

[Daonnachd]

Heya.

I seem to have come down a bit from having been elevated the past four days. Normalcy has taken over, though I prefer hypomania. So, drag myself outta bed, make the coffee, make more coffee, continue on despite the feeling of having less in me than yesterday and the days before that. Ho-hum.

Good day, all. I hope your day is at least as good as mine for I realise many of you would be happy to share my normalcy. I wish I could parcel off a bit and send it to you. All the best.

[99fairies]

I'm not living in a sick house anymore! all the kids were able to go back to school today and were very excited to wake up to the first snowfall of the year! I am feeling tired but good. My house is a mess and I just want to lay here, but I'd better get something done this afternoon!

I've not had my daily cuss session yet in the cuss thread.

urg need to do that

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Feeling like death

Literally haven't been able to talk at all for the past 3 days. Had to text my mom to have her set up an appointment for me at the doctors office because of my lack of voice. I might bring a piece of paper with me to the dr office to write down what's wrong since I won't be able to talk

I hope I don't have bronchitis because I was near my grandma who has it.

((((hugs)))))

what happened?

(sorry, I've not actually been following)

Our token bipolar client surfaced in Alameda, which he described as "pretty cruise".



Nio at Senjyu-ji temple, Ehime, Japan

[Tucson]

I found out a day ago that I was having a panic attack. I took a PRN. I am sitting here watching TV. I have geen gaining unwanted weight. I am oaranoud about this. I have been trying to figure out which meals have me gain weight. Otherwise I am not doung too bad.

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling kind of yucky today. Having some physical health issues and it's making me crabby and down.

[Sunflower123]

I'm going to take a few days break from PC. Hugs to all.

[99fairies]

We will miss you and all your hugs. I hope you're doing okay.

[kitska]

I hope everyone is okay.

My psychiatrist has stopped Zyprexa and started Celexa, as I am suicidal and having impulses to suicide while driving.

I don't really feel one way or the other about it. Maybe combined with Lithium and Ambien, Celexa won't be that bad.

[xRavenx]

My mood swings are getting worse all over again. I don't know what the point is anymore. I can't even live alone anymore. I think about how I failed financially in so many ways.
This illness has screwed me out of so many things, although I try. I don't want to look in the mirror either. Friends have moved on and are living their lives. I'm happy for them, but I feel so stuck. I don't have a family of my own or feel capable of being in a relationship. I don't even nowhere to start anymore. Sorry, I guess I just needed to vent.

I posted a sanitized version of an earlier profile pic that depicted me holding my brother's five-foot-long seaweed penis. Photos lie.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

My mood swings are getting worse all over again. I don't know what the point is anymore. I can't even live alone anymore. I think about how I failed financially in so many ways.
This illness has screwed me out of so many things, although I try. I don't want to look in the mirror either. Friends have moved on and are living their lives. I'm happy for them, but I feel so stuck. I don't have a family of my own or feel capable of being in a relationship. I don't even nowhere to start anymore. Sorry, I guess I just needed to vent.

(((((( xRavenx ))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. This illness does rob us of lots of things in life. You sometimes write about how hard you've tried and I fully believe you. It's difficult, even impossible for some of us, to live a "normal" life. It hurts.
I hope you can sleep tonight.


WC
Wc

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

(((((( xRavenx ))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. This illness does rob us of lots of things in life. You sometimes write about how hard you've tried and I fully believe you. It's difficult, even impossible for some of us, to live a "normal" life. It hurts.
I hope you can sleep tonight.


WC
Wc

Thank you so much, WC. Hopefully the Seroquel will help with the sleep, and I already took my Klonopin, which I've been reserving for especially bad times. Although autumn is beautiful, it is an especially difficult season for me. I tend to get really bad episodes during this time.

I hope that you rest well too. (((Hugs)))

Nvmd..........

[winter loneliness]

I feel hopeless.

[MobiusPsyche]

Trying to avoid buying a new house that I really want. I can afford it although things would be really tight for a few months. T says it's impulsive but at least I'm acknowledging some of the negatives ahead of time, being more realistic than I usually am. I won't tour the house until tomorrow morning so part of me is hoping I hate it, like it smells or has a horrible vibe or something. I love the photos online and the location, though.

[Tucson]

I ate much too much. My stomach hurts. I am on a diet and the mistake I make is trying to eat until I am no longer hungry Big mistake! In another couple weeks I have prostate surgery. A couple days later I need to go to court for my pretrial hearing. All fun stuff!. LOL Not really. I reallly need to start cleaning up my place but I have been depressed with no motivation. Anyone want to clean a condo? I sure do not!

I am still not dressed (and it's lunch time)

I was meant to get in the shower at 7 30, but I've not yet done it.. I will, it is shower day after all- and to be fair, I probably need one (even though I will feel totally gross afterwards), sometimes you need to accept when you just need to do something.

I am meant to do the first part of my 6 week course today (the anxiety one), and I really don't want to do it.

part of me just wants to throw all the information away, but I know if I do that, that's good money down the toilet.. and I'd probably feel bad later.

planning on some sausages for tea (now my latest food craze)