[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wonderluster

Try This:

1) Write a completely honest message describing everything that is going on and everything you feel.

2) Send the message to yourself.

3) Read the message as if it was from the closest person you ever knew, whom you love dearly.

4) Send back a supportive loving reply.

5) Read the reply and believe everything in the message.

After reading this thread I see that some are experiencing loss, despair and pain and some are experiencing good results from their hard work at getting better.

Everyone who continues to work at getting better will get better.
Sometimes (as you can read in this thread from the last day) the change for the better happens overnight!

All we can do is keep trying to be good to ourselves and keep trying to live in peace with others. The best possible results will follow.

It's that simple

"Everyone who continues to work at getting better will get better."

I have to tell you, my friend, your statement is simply not true.

Nor is your statement helpful to the individuals often working very hard at getting better and not getting better.

Please reconsider making these types of statements here.


WC

[Faltering]

I think I may benefit from seeing a T again. I haven't had one in years. I just don't know how else to handle my stress right now. I feel physically ill from anxiety and can't stop ruminating. This morning I had the first panic attack I've had in awhile. Something has to give.

[wildflowerchild25]

My observation went ok. Not stellar but not horrible. Room for improvement. My supervisor really believes in me. He said so. He said he wants me to come out of my shell. He said "I think you can do it, in fact I know you can do it, and that's why I wanted you here." So that was nice. I wish I shared his confidence in me! I've been told since I started teaching that I'm too quiet and reserved. It's been five years and has gotten better but still not to the extent they want. So I don't have much confidence that I can ever change my underlying personality. But I guess I can try. I'm looking to join drama club as he told me to get involved in the high school more. I'm not sure it will work out time wise but again, I'm going to make the effort.

In other news, finding a new psychiatrist isn't going well. I called three places today. One the phone just rang and rang, one went to a voicemail that sounded like a personal cell Phone, and one had a busy signal over and over. I think that one might have had the wrong number. There's another one I didn't try because it has weird hours (all evening/Saturday). It's right by my work so I'd prefer to go at like 3. I don't really want to drive home and drive back. Plus I don't have anyone to watch my son in the evening/Saturday. I'm going to try the first doctor again tomorrow. I'm also going to try to find another number for the other group.

I also need to get a chest X-ray this week as I'm still coughing horribly. Fun times.

[Sunflower123]

I had a nice visit with my daughter this weekend. Thanks to the advice of a brilliant poster on PC, we are communicating better than ever. I'm not depressed but I find myself getting back into the habit of staying on PC all day and watching politics. This is not the lifestyle or routine I worked out to start when she went off to college. I need to work on having a better balance so nothing gets left out and I handle my responsibilities.

Hugs to all who are struggling.

[fishin fool]

Hello everyone not sure what I want to say so hello.

[-Astral-]

Hi doing ok thoughts id say hi and see how you all are

[Naynay99]

Hey to all. Sending some positive thoughts to those having a tough time. Me, I think my mood is good, relaatively stable and content. Work is good but tiring. I need to work on my sleep though as I am not getting enough sleep and have been battling a cold since last week. I am feeling mostly positive. My kids r great and I love my coworkers so other than regular work stress tbings r pretty okay there.

I have also been planning more fun stuff to do for the fall so I'm excited that I have stuff to look forward to and stick around for. i am feeling a bit physically like crap but having the mental motivation to want to do things and go out and enjoy stuff is making me feel pretty dam great. House is a bit of a mess but I have decided to let myself off the hook and just live in my mess for now and honestly I don't feel that bad about it. I am giving myself permission to fuuck up a little and not trying to be some perfect version of me that I will forever fail to live up to and it's actually a relief to let dumb sshit go.

Anyway hang in there all. Keep kicking some BP butt. Take care.
R

today started with an explosive phone call with a computer company.

they are trying to charge me for a service I didn't even use

and I rang them and said... you sent me a letter charging me this money for your service, i've never even heard of you- and they launched in to this crap about how because the letter's at my address, I have to pay for it.

they go are you rachel?. and i'm like no, my name's emily, and they are like.. well, cool, then rachel's lucky- you're paying her bill

anyway, I got right in their face.. who the ****'s rachel, and who the **** are you.

I don't have the ****ing money, so you're not getting it anyway and slammed down the phone

later I got some threats from my family (but I don't want to talk about those)

and i'm now just sitting here writing this post, because I lead such an interesting existence.

I can also reveal that yesterday's emergency grocery order was all crap and junkfood.

their is just no hope for me in the overeating department

[hopeless2015]

My husband has been bringing me cigarettes but today he told me I had to shower and go get my own. I haven't left the house in I don't know how long and haven't showered since Saturday. But I did it. The power of nicotine addiction! I meet new psychologist tomorrow at 9 so I would have to leave the house for that

[Tucson]

I have an appointment with a job search specialist today. I hope she can find me a job despite my MI disabilities and my shaking hands. I gained a couple pounds, so I am goung to have to cut back a bit on my caloric intake at least for now. I only eat about 1500 calories a day as it is. Hungry days ahead of me.

[Daonnachd]

I have messages I want to write to each of you on the page above my post, but I don't have time. Consequently, "All the best to all of you."

At this point it looks like an average day, if a little late to work. Ciao, amici.

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

"Everyone who continues to work at getting better will get better."

I have to tell you, my friend, your statement is simply not true.

Nor is your statement helpful to the individuals often working very hard at getting better and not getting better.

Please reconsider making these types of statements here.


WC

I am sorry for offending people.

I believe I was taken the wrong way.

How can we believe we will never get better?

We all work hard because we believe things will get better.

Why is it wrong for me to encourage people?

Certainly everybody can see progress sometimes.

Everyone who gets out of a hospital and tries again has gotten better for at least a while.

So sometimes we go backwards.

That does not mean that there is no hope.

These are my personal opinions.

I do not at all agree with everyone's opinions but I believe all have good intentions and give all the benefit of the doubt. I do not take what others say personally. I get the message though, and I will never speak in generalizations again.

Thanks

[wonderluster]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My observation went ok. Not stellar but not horrible. Room for improvement. My supervisor really believes in me. He said so. He said he wants me to come out of my shell. He said "I think you can do it, in fact I know you can do it, and that's why I wanted you here." So that was nice. I wish I shared his confidence in me! I've been told since I started teaching that I'm too quiet and reserved. It's been five years and has gotten better but still not to the extent they want. So I don't have much confidence that I can ever change my underlying personality. But I guess I can try. I'm looking to join drama club as he told me to get involved in the high school more. I'm not sure it will work out time wise but again, I'm going to make the effort.

In other news, finding a new psychiatrist isn't going well. I called three places today. One the phone just rang and rang, one went to a voicemail that sounded like a personal cell Phone, and one had a busy signal over and over. I think that one might have had the wrong number. There's another one I didn't try because it has weird hours (all evening/Saturday). It's right by my work so I'd prefer to go at like 3. I don't really want to drive home and drive back. Plus I don't have anyone to watch my son in the evening/Saturday. I'm going to try the first doctor again tomorrow. I'm also going to try to find another number for the other group.

I also need to get a chest X-ray this week as I'm still coughing horribly. Fun times.

I think that is a perfect idea! Get involved with the drama club. That will get you out of your shell and you will have fun.

Best wishes

[bpforever1]

I passed the demo lesson for the tour guide school and will be substituting for them. It is not much but I like the material they use. I am learning a lot. I thought about the full-time position also and received an interview and demo lesson request. But, I am thinking I'm not ready to do full-time yet and may turn it down. I like my current schedule and am content. I work part-time for several companies and schools. I have downtime too and this allows me to rest. I am currently taking brand Abilify and it is working well. I am not as sleepy and feel alert. I was also happy I did a good job with my demo lesson for the tour guide school. I am going to be ok.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I passed the demo lesson for the tour guide school and will be substituting for them. It is not much but I like the material they use. I am learning a lot. I thought about the full-time position also and received an interview and demo lesson request. But, I am thinking I'm not ready to do full-time yet and may turn it down. I like my current schedule and am content. I work part-time for several companies and schools. I have downtime too and this allows me to rest. I am currently taking brand Abilify and it is working well. I am not as sleepy and feel alert. I was also happy I did a good job with my demo lesson for the tour guide school. I am going to be ok.

Congratulations! Well done.

[Pikku Myy]

I guess I am doing OK for a change sweet friends. Mom passed away, handled everything in EU this past summer, daughter in 2nd year of college, and I on my 3rd boyfriend... he is a behavioral psychiatrist (not mine). He says he can handle me, lol. Life is ok now.... trying my best to handle anxiety.

mental health worker showed up (surprised)

had nothing to say to me though, and in general seemed not too pleased about seeing me.

said she'd made no progress with her current goals, making me feel pretty hopeless.

pretty low mood in general though. finding it difficult to cope and be positive

[WildcatVet]

Too f***ing hot to sleep last night. Feeling cranky but not so angry. Scared silly though because I have to make a round trip to PA tomorrow and I'm getting really panicky. Can't take anything for it if I'm driving.

[Guiness187055]

Really miserable AC died this morning and the repair guy can't get here until 7pm. 95 degrees outside at least its a beautiful 87 in the house. At least the AC is under warranty but I won't be a happy camper if he can't get it fixed tonight.

[Sunflower123]

Problems with motivation again. Have missed every appointment this week and I had one everyday. This lack of motivation is driving me up the wall. In a good mood aside from that.

Hugs to all who are struggling.

[liveforsummer]

Tired of waking up tired. Had a teeny burst of energy yday evening then went to bed and my brain wouldn't stop again and at the same time my brain thinks of dumb stuff I've got songs going through my head that I realized I subconsciously grind my teeth to the beat of the music what the heck !?
Otherwise hanging in there and plodding along life and gonna go to BP drop in meeting tomorrow. It helps.

[wonderluster]

So a friend of mine in the US who has a special "gift" told me yesterday that my fiance and her male cousin have a "secret" between them. My friend also tells me that my fiance's brother knows what the secret is. I have strongly suspected a "secret" between them. It was driving me a bit loony...or more accurately: driving me "loonier." (spell check says that is indeed a word)

So I talked to the brother today and he confirmed what I thought.
I feel much better now. I now know that my intuition is not totally out of whack.

So now I have a covert action planned to extract myself from an intolerable situation.

I am relieved but sad. I really love the people that have deceived and manipulated me.

I really love the two boys so much.

I must leave them all and start my life all over again.

I will miss this city and the special people in it.
They have touched me and I have touched them.

I will continue my work as I walk into the unknown once again...

Best wishes to All

[Amethyst_Stargazer]

Today my day was going great so far and I was in such a great mood. One of things that upsets me is when people call me "crazy" especially if they don't even know me. It wouldn't have gotten to me so much but today is not the best of days now that I'm cramping.

Anytime someone calls me crazy, I immediately feeling hurt because this is something my abusive partner used to call me daily. So glad that I got away from him in the end. I'm pmsing as of right now and I'm starting to feel my moods starting to shift. Glad that my doctor gave me a new medication for my mania since it's been pretty high lately. Anytime my period is coming though is when my lows come on most of the time or if I don't get enough sleep or stressful situations.

I'll end up getting over this. Know that I will. As of right now though that comment really upset me. It's not the first time I've been called crazy and I know it won't be the last. They basically called me crazy due to my emotions based on my pms and because my dog can pick up on my moods.

Now that their both in my room with me, I know that I'll be okay because their both by my side. I love both of these dogs and they always manage to put a smile on my face whenever I'm feeling sad or having one of those days. Sometimes I feel as if they know when I'm sad because they both lay next to me and give me plenty of kisses.

[Tucson]

Going to my first job fair tomorrow. I have been out of work for twenty years. I am very nervous and my anxiety is ramping up just thinking about this. I do not think the words "part tme" to a professional business neans working lees than eighty hours a month. We shall see. Need to take a shower.