[liveforsummer]

Some days the tears flow far too freely.

Family BBQ today. It'll be a good distraction.

[scatterbrained04]

Yesterday I cleaned the bathroom and did some laundry. Did a lot of reading. My son and I looked around Target and bought Bibibops for dinner. Rented the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. So we pulled out the sofa bed and watched that.

Today is chores and grocery shopping. Will read in between stuff for a break.

Boy, my life is soooo exciting. Not. Maybe one of these days I'll actually have money to go do stuff. I'm functional, but I don't feel like I actually have much of a life. Work and chores and not much else.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

My birthday was a lot of fun. Spent a whole day with my husband. That doesn't happen much anymore.

My nerve block yesterday was only a trial run. I'll get the real deal mid September.

I'm withdrawing from one of my classes. Both classes require a lot of mental work and I can't do that with using muscle relaxers.

Mood's been good. Hope it doesn't go to crap tomorrow.

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Happy to read you'd had fun!


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Carbamazepine!

Thanks for the laugh!




WC

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Already down today. Questioning my life choices. Wondering how I ended up a thirty year old single mom living with my mom, watching everyone else my age start their lives with their partners in their own houses. I've got nothing. Not true, I have my son and I love him. But other than that....

I don't even want to start my new job.

I'm tired of not knowing who I'll be in the morning. It's like I'm hungover but I didn't even drink. So I guess Sad Sunday is just my thing.

(((Hugs))). I can definitely relate and have been questioning similar things. I hope your day gets better.

[hopeless2015]

Cleaned up kitchen, including microwave and floors. Let's see what else I can find ambition for today. Our apartment is a mess so anything I get done is much needed. Husband is sitting on his *** in the recliner

[bizi]

up until 1;30am on the internet.
Had to take an extra 1mg of klonipin to sleep.(total 1.25mg)
Slept in late was so good to finally sleep well. (I already take 200mg of seroquel to sleep)Had not been sleeping well.
I need to tell my pdoc about that.
RAining pretty hard now, tornado warning in effect until 3pm yikes!
bizi

[Guiness187055]

No ambition to do anything today or all week for that matter. I think I've fallen into a minor depressive episode. I don't see pdoc for another week. He is gonna switch the zyprexa for abilify. Hopefully that will give me some more energy and knock back this episode.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Already down today. Questioning my life choices. Wondering how I ended up a thirty year old single mom living with my mom, watching everyone else my age start their lives with their partners in their own houses. I've got nothing. Not true, I have my son and I love him. But other than that....

I don't even want to start my new job.

I'm tired of not knowing who I'll be in the morning. It's like I'm hungover but I didn't even drink. So I guess Sad Sunday is just my thing.

You've had some unfortunate things happen in your life.
This doesn't mean you've made any "wrong" choices.

You'll likely have some fortunate events occur as well and your life will again change.

I admire your strength and your courage.


WC

[bizi]

Finished billing need a couple of stamps though.
now to do some filing.
Ghost in the machine to the rescue...great IPA beer.
bizi
I told you that I am using alligator oil on my face?
For the past 2 weeks. I think it is less red.
bizi

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bizi

Finished billing need a couple of stamps though.
now to do some filing.
Ghost in the machine to the rescue...great IPA beer.
bizi
I told you that I am using alligator oil on my face?
For the past 2 weeks. I think it is less red.
bizi

My aunt called today and asked me about IPA beers! I sent her on to others because I'm not a beer officianado but I can tell her about this one!

[wildflowerchild25]

Feel like absolute garbage and have all day. Spent most of the day on the couch. It's been exceedingly difficult to get my son his meals today. But I don't want to be like my mom and just ignore him. I want to tell him sometimes mommy is sick...but I don't want him to worry. I'll have to explain when he's older but not now.

Negative thoughts abound. Won't list them bc it's unproductive. Self harm thoughts are high. SI is high, more of a wish than anything. I want to live long enough for my son to establish his own life, then I'll be content to shuffle off this mortal coil. So like 25 more years. Aye.

Was supposed to visit my grandparents but couldn't face it. Will go tomorrow if I am feeling better.

I miss true stability. It was so nice. I hope I get back there.

[liveforsummer]

Good day. BBQ was good, glad I went as I'm sure I'd've spent the day in bed otherwise.

Hugs to all struggling

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Moose72

My aunt called today and asked me about IPA beers! I sent her on to others because I'm not a beer officianado but I can tell her about this one!

Ghost is a local beer made by Parish brewery in Broussard Louisiana just down the road from lafayette/us.
They used to only brew the batch once a year...now they are brewing it all summer.
yeay!

One really good IPA is Dog fish head 90 minute IPA.(india pale ale)
It is brewed in Delaware and only shipped to certain states.
We can't get it here but we can in florida and Indiana and texas to name a few states.
My husband has liked it for many years, it being his favorite beer. He is a beer snob!
Our whole foods here has a bar and they serve local and craft beers. We go there several times a week to visit with the bar tender and play trivia on friday nights. The food is decent and you can buy anything in the store and bring it in to eat.
fun!
bizi

[gina_re]

My support group decided to have the first annual end of summer picnic today. I didn't want to go at first mainly because of distance and gas money. But another member talked me into it. So I went and had a good time. But as soon as I left, my mood dropped again. I was supposed to call my mom back and I just went into a "I don't want to be bothered" mode. Up down up down up down.... But mostly down these days. I can't take it!

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Already down today. Questioning my life choices. Wondering how I ended up a thirty year old single mom living with my mom, watching everyone else my age start their lives with their partners in their own houses. I've got nothing. Not true, I have my son and I love him. But other than that....

I don't even want to start my new job.

I'm tired of not knowing who I'll be in the morning. It's like I'm hungover but I didn't even drink. So I guess Sad Sunday is just my thing.

I'm questioning a lot as well. You're not alone in the fight.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by gina_re

My support group decided to have the first annual end of summer picnic today. I didn't want to go at first mainly because of distance and gas money. But another member talked me into it. So I went and had a good time. But as soon as I left, my mood dropped again. I was supposed to call my mom back and I just went into a "I don't want to be bothered" mode. Up down up down up down.... But mostly down these days. I can't take it!

I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now.
(((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[Lifeischallenging]

I've been feeling like all this is a little challenging for me. I'm almost thirty and am living at home still. I feel like I could not possibly get my life together, even though I am doing everything in my power to do so. I have a job interview to look forward too on Tuesday, so that is something to look forward. My pdoc has warned me not to look at full time work though. He feels I wouldn't be able to handle it with all the stress and the benefits. I don't have my own health insurance. I'm on my employers. Well, I'm going to continue trying is all I can say.

[Wander]

Depressed, just deeply depressed.

Onomatopoiea!

Originally Posted by bioChE

Is "vaping trim" a euphemism?

It's a cacophemism. Trim refers to clippings generated by shaping dried cannabis colas; trim contains significantly less THC than colas, but if you're quitting cannabis and no longer vape ground colas, your THC tolerance fades and occasionally vaping trim will light you up like a Christmas tree.

[bpforever1]

Doing ok. I am waiting for my class to start for tonight. I went to the psydoc and bought my Abilify. Tomorrow, I try generic Abilify. I am a bit anxious about it but will see how it goes. I am sure I'll be ok. I have been working almost daily and am tired. But, I like earning money so I work. I treat myself by going out to eat at cafes and restaurants. I am happy for now. I am by myself here in Japan. I am alone but not lonely because I am busy most of the time. My father is coming next week. I look forward to his coming here.

[Sunflower123]

I was reading a post just now where someone was looking at papers (school I think) and remembering how happy they were at that time pre-illness. It started me thinking about and mourning the pre-illness me. I've decided to make some meaningful goals for the post-illness me so I can look back over this time in the future and not just see a gray cloud of mental illness but some good and proud times as well. I don't just want to survive. I'd like to thrive as well.

Sending big hugs.

[bpforever1]

I am unhappy. I just talked to my mother again. She makes me mad. She is a control freak who does not allow others to think for themselves. I am sick and tired of her controlling ways. However, she has always been this way. I am stupid to call her and talk to her. May be it is time to just let her be herself and leave her alone.

[Moose72]

I'm going to my primary dr in an hour. Not sure for what. A follow-up?

[hopeless2015]

Having my usual Monday morning struggle but I'm pushing through. Got up fighting the negative thoughts but it does seem to have passed. I missed 2 doses of meds this weekend and that sometimes throws me into a couple days of depression. Managed to do a little cleaning at home yesterday and called my mom. I'm trying to do better about calling her every week.