[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Second night awake in excruciating pain.
Need sleep soon in order to avert a disaster.
I have plenty of pain meds; I just don't want to accidentally overdose on the combination of all of my meds, including adding too many prn meds.

Love to All!

WC

((((((wild coyote))))))

[WildcatVet]

Woke up very anxious...took my last meds until Wed when I get my disability check. I don't do well without them and it's making me very depressed in anticipation of the next few days... Damn, it's frustrating not to be able to afford medications when you need them...but, hell, I gotta eat and feed the pets first...

[Wild Coyote]

Thanks for the support.
I was able to safely get the pain under control by 5 am or so and slept 4 hours, for which I am thankful.

Just relaxing and reading here for a few minutes.


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Daughter's boyfriend had a really bad accident yesterday. Swerved to avoid an oncoming car drifting in his lane. Rolled three times in a a field. Only had minor injuries. The car is crunched and totaled. If he hadn't scrunched down it would have killed him. Been thankful for that. We've kept an eye on him and he's doing fine.

Other than that it's been quiet. I'm trying to keep busy with stuff and getting out of the house with my husband every once in a while. I'm still cranky, but I think I'll be okay.

[99fairies]

I hardly have any pain today! But My daughter was up all night screaming from an earache so not a lot of sleep...oh well she is fine this morning and I am feeling much better.

[liveforsummer]

Doing ok today. Hoping to be somewhat productive.

[hopeless2015]

Working on packing up and we have taken a whole bunch to the dumpster. It's only 3 and I am worn out. I don't get any exercise and I'm very puny. Legs are shaking lol. Still in shock over this whole situation.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

Working on packing up and we have taken a whole bunch to the dumpster. It's only 3 and I am worn out. I don't get any exercise and I'm very puny. Legs are shaking lol. Still in shock over this whole situation.

Thinking of you.

WC

[GoldenSnitch]

I’ve just hated myself and been depressed all weekend. Not looking forward to going to work tomorrow feeling like this.

[jacky8807]

whats up y'all!?
i have slid into a sparkly but so far safe hypo. Little sleep increased projects and sociability some euphoria and all that jazz .Sometimes if i look outside or listen to a song or watch someone dance i feel like im moving through a universal truth of beauty. The colors! Themusical notes of life! Playing out like theater ...but thevworld is but a stage....
w.c. hope u get more sleep less pain

[jacky8807]

oh yeah...found myself getting caught up with (true) conspiracy theories and that whole ppl will find out i know thing so im doing well to stay away from obsessive research if u will

[jacky8807]

i do worry how i make it financially this week. That has been a problem. the only one i would say

[jacky8807]

although i will say ...obsessions aside...something really needs to be done about hollywood. what kind of world is this ????

Another weekend lost to me trying to ride the anxiety. And probably reading here too much looking for answers, distraction, and relief

[dangerousanimals]

Doing better than last weekend...or whenever I checked in last. Showered two days in a row, stayed social, went out and did stuff, didn't sleep too much. Awake now because I fell asleep during my usual pre-work nap time (I work nights during the week). One more week at my current job, then back to occasional freelancing and such.

[Wander]

Saw my pdoc today. He decreased the Saphris and increased the Lamictal. I have been exhausted so he is hoping the decrease in antipsychotic will give me more energy. I want off it altogether but have been on a high dose for three months so need to go down gradually.

Other than that I have been busy with work and study then crashing into exhaustion. My mood is ok but the tiredness is getting me down. I want to do so much more with my life but spend most of it checked out cause I'm tired and can't deal with much. Really hoping this passes soon as I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I'm not deeply depressed but am terrified of another episode. My pdoc is doing all he can to stabilise me and keep me that way. He is great and I'm thankful for him. Have an awesome T too so I'm lucky.

[bpforever1]

So, my sex buddy may come over tomorrow night. I'm hoping so. I was on the online dating site and some odd man wanted me to watch him masturbate online. Well, I was bored and entertained him. I felt sorry for him because he seemed like a type of man who does not get much action. So, I felt bad for him and pretended to watch while I was writing to others. There are many strange men out there on these dating sites. I'm lucky to have met my sex buddy through the same online dating site. He is not weird or shy. He tells me what he wants and I accommodate. I like him much. He is not intrusive and not emotional. I like a man like this. I don't like men who are drama queens or busy bodies. I want sex too so I'm glad I found him. We are a match. I have my life and just want to be with someone periodically and that is it. I don't want to be with someone all of the time. I like my privacy too. It is probably the reason I am not married. I like being wanted but not invaded. I'm happy. He is a stud. He is younger and he is so sexy!! He is my type. I should shut up now. My exaltations of him is probably making others sick.

[99fairies]

My daughter is home today from an earache. But my pain is a lot better. Looks like the dystonia is going away!

[WildcatVet]

I give up...what's the point anyway? My new therapist...who I haven't even seen yet...just rescheduled AGAIN. Can't see the pdoc until after a few sessions with the T. My PCP refuses to change my med orders even though they're not working and my Depakote level was barely therapeutic...oh, yeah, they also screwed up and didn't order my meds so I'm off them AGAIN for 5 days...
I'm trying...I really am...but I'm finding it harder and harder to cope. Today I feel like my last knot just unraveled...my anxiety and anger are through the roof! I just don't know what to do...

[Sunflower123]

As I’ve mentioned, my doctor put me on a new med combo that has cleared up my depression and SI. I’m grateful for that. Over all those years of depression and SI, I created a “depressed lifestyle” that is now an ingrained habit. Even though I’m no longer depressed, many days I really struggle to break free of this lifestyle. Its like I’m learning to walk again and not doing a very good job of it. It’s frustrating and I’m wondering what’s the point.

Sending big hugs for all those who are struggling.

[Daonnachd]

We returned from evacuation last night. The house is still standing, but the fires around us are all between only 50 and 60% contained. Fortunately, the winds have dropped a lot. That means the flames are not traveling as fast as the first few days and nights.

We're not unpacking the cars yet, though, just in case we need to leave again. Can you tell I'm still a little anxious?

In the midst of all this (sort of) I have ECT this coming Friday. I've hardly even thought about it in the past few days. As I expect the next few days to go, too.

[wildflowerchild25]

I'm having a major paranoid meltdown. I was in the math office just pulling out my laptop when the math department coach (who I've been working with one on one to learn math) asks to talk to my co-teacher (who doesn't like me). I hear him in the outer office. as soon as he walks into the inner office and sees me, he makes this FACE like he's pissed that I'm there and goes to whisper to her about god only knows what. I couldn't hear, because obviously he didn't want me to hear, because OBVIOusLY it was about me! I bet he's asking if I've improved at all which she will say no, I haven't, because I haven't.

I feel so ****ing awful right now, so useless at this job and so anxiety ridden and I just don't know what to do. I'm so tired of feeling like a failure and that's all teaching does for me. But I go back and forth, which is why I can't make a damn decision. because some days I'm fine, and others i'm a paranoid, anxious mess like today. I can't figure out if it's BP or if it's my career or wtf is going on.

I just want to feel like I'm good at something.

[raspberrytorte]

There's something wrong with my cat. He's sick. He's losing weight and won't eat anything and has been over grooming, and he's losing fur from around his neck. We took him to the vet, but they said they don't know what's wrong with him. He had some blood work done and they told us his liver enzymes are raised, but they said it could just be because he's not eating. If he doesn't improve they want us to bring him back in to have x-rays done.

I'm so worried. He's the best cat in the entire world.

[WildcatVet]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

There's something wrong with my cat. He's sick. He's losing weight and won't eat anything and has been over grooming, and he's losing fur from around his neck. We took him to the vet, but they said they don't know what's wrong with him. He had some blood work done and they told us his liver enzymes are raised, but they said it could just be because he's not eating. If he doesn't improve they want us to bring him back in to have x-rays done.

I'm so worried. He's the best cat in the entire world.

Sorry to hear about this...from another cat lover. How old is he?

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

As I’ve mentioned, my doctor put me on a new med combo that has cleared up my depression and SI. I’m grateful for that. Over all those years of depression and SI, I created a “depressed lifestyle” that is now an ingrained habit. Even though I’m no longer depressed, many days I really struggle to break free of this lifestyle. Its like I’m learning to walk again and not doing a very good job of it. It’s frustrating and I’m wondering what’s the point.

Sending big hugs for all those who are struggling.

I'm so glad you have found a med combo that is working. I know exactly what you mean by "depressed lifestyle" and trying to get beyond it. It will take time. Be patient with yourself.

Hugs