[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Felt brain trying to sneak in a ramp up last night but squashed it by blasting loud music in my ears. The rate I'm going, I'm going to blow an ear drum. It helped though. Fell asleep but woke at 3am after nightmares, still felt unsettled so reluctantly took .5mg Ativan. Slept til 8. Sunny out now and am yet again determined to have a positive day

Hugs all, and to those affected by the atrocity in Vegas

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( Vegas ))))))


P.S. The Vegas footage is potentially triggering. Please keep this in mind.
This is being called the "worst mass shooting in U.S. history."

[hopeless2015]

Went back to work today, I took 2 anxiety pills this morning and very dizzy for awhile...lesson learned. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. This will probably take me a few days. I sent our thank you emails to everyone who helped out while I was gone, everyone but 2 have responded with very encouraging and welcoming responses. Hugs to everyone!

[99fairies]

My side effect med started working...no more dystonia! Pain is gone! I feel like a new person!

[Wild Coyote]

I am both alarmed and saddened by the Las Vegas tragedy.
Kind of triggers adrenaline and my CPTSD stuff.
It's helpful to understand so many have responded (are responding) in a helpful manner.

Had a 2 day GI bug over the weekend. Could not do my chemo injection until last night. Doing okay with it.

It's a gorgeous day here, yet again!
Hoping to take another day trip into the mountains this week.

I hope everyone is finding some joy in their day today, even if only for a moment.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by 99fairies

My side effect med started working...no more dystonia! Pain is gone! I feel like a new person!

Wonderful!

WC

most of the day was spent trying to find a new place to live (but with each and every one unsuitable in some way)

I called out 1 woman who worked for a company called horizons

she was asking me all these questions and i'm like... the question I am trying to ask you, do you have any living space at horizons. either you do, and we can work together, or you don't, and in that case, the conversation is over.

yeah I don't think she was too happy about that but what can I say.

I should have been nicer, but well..

later I called out someone else- they told me that knowing about big brother wasn't important

well i'm like.. it is, if you get asked it in a quiz (we were playing an online quiz)

he's then like all knolledge is pointless, and i'm like well then, you shouldn't play quizzes.

and then I beat him 25 points to 17

so go me

[cogladaid]

I realized I forgot to take my pill yesterday. And Saturday night. And this morning...

[scatterbrained04]

I am finally starting to feel back on my feet again. Yay! And I got a letter in the mail today stating my car payment is paid in full. Such a great feeling. It was the first car I ever took a loan out for and bought new.

Still trying to process through the shooting in Las Vegas. I really feel scared to take my son anywhere anymore.

[wildflowerchild25]

I had another triggering self-harm dream, worse this time. I hate these dreams. Now all I can think of is self-harming. And not for any other reason than it's an addictive behavior. I like it, and I miss it, and I want to do it. I'm not upset in any way so I have no excuse. I just want to do it. I miss it so much. I've never had a substance abuse problem but I imagine it's similar. I'm sure my husband missed using drugs during the periods he was clean.

I mean I won't self-harm of course, I have no reason to. But I hope these dreams stop soon. I hate feeling like this.

[wildflowerchild25]

The antibiotic I'm on has a side effects of insomnia :sad: last night I didn't get to sleep until after midnight and woke up a few times, including at my 5am alarm (I set multiple alrams). Usually I go back to sleep for an hour after my 5am alarm but I couldn't go back to sleep. So I left work early today and came home and took a three hour nap. Now, of course, I can't sleep again. I think it's too late to take another trazadone. But I just want to sleep.

I'm going to try to do a sleep meditation and NO NAP tomorrow.

[Shazerac]

I hate taking antibiotics. They always send me into an angry depression

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

The antibiotic I'm on has a side effects of insomnia :sad: last night I didn't get to sleep until after midnight and woke up a few times, including at my 5am alarm (I set multiple alrams). Usually I go back to sleep for an hour after my 5am alarm but I couldn't go back to sleep. So I left work early today and came home and took a three hour nap. Now, of course, I can't sleep again. I think it's too late to take another trazadone. But I just want to sleep.

I'm going to try to do a sleep meditation and NO NAP tomorrow.

Sorry to hear that. Antibiotics that I've been on also interfere with my sleep and interfere with my mood a lot. Not too long ago, I was on an antibiotic that was doing that. I hate sleep problems and how they through everything off. I avoid naps for that same reason.
Hugs. I hope you feel better.

[Nammu]

I feel dis connect. Just want to be left alone. No emotional connection to anyone, let alone the Vegas thing....again! Just happens too often.

I cried...listening to the chief of police in Las Vegas on the drive home overwhelmed me.

[ck3416849]

Checking in

[Wild Coyote]

Awakened totally disoriented. Was having a nightmare triggered by the Vegas tragedy.

If you've been triggered by the Vegas tragedy and would like to discuss this and/or are seeking support, we have a dedicated thread on the PTSD forum, entitled "Vegas." Everyone welcomed to join the discussion there, too.


WC

[winter loneliness]

Been having nightmares again. I don't have a ton of anxiety. I do have stress. Is that the same thing?

waiting around for a phone call from a guy called jamie

going to tell me if their's some space in his complex (I bet their isn't)

but I myself am taking a break today from trying to find somewhere, A I can aford to do so, B i've dealt with most (if not all) companies in my area, and need to look at where else I can go

and C I deserve a day off because welll... I do

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Awakened totally disoriented. Was having a nightmare triggered by the Vegas tragedy.

If you've been triggered by the Vegas tragedy and would like to discuss this and/or are seeking support, we have a dedicated thread on the PTSD forum, entitled "Vegas." Everyone welcomed to join the discussion there, too.


WC

I felt really insensitive yesterday, because yesterday I quoted someone else's post about vegas, and asked what went on because I didn't see the news about it yet.

well, I know now... really sad stuff

[WildcatVet]

Too tired to type.........

[bpforever1]

I'm doing well. I am having a little problem waking up though because I feel unmotivated to get up and face the day. However, once I wake up am fine. As for my job search, I looked over the material for the full-time teaching job and finally was able to decipher it. Hahahahahaa I was not happy with the material because it had too many mistakes but after correcting it, it is not impossible. I keep see-sawing about doing the demo lesson. But, I've finally thought I should go for it. It won't hurt me and might be a good experience. I received a part-time job and this has helped boost my confidence in my teaching abilities. I feel good about myself and look forward to doing the demo lesson. I teach at companies for the most part and would like to continue teaching at the corporate level. I am hoping to free-lance on my downtime. I am really happy that I'm doing what I love. I guess I am lucky. I did not feel this way before with my other jobs. I used to earn much more but was unhappy and really stressed. Now, I am earning less but feel satisfied. Life is not bad. What really makes me sad is the Las Vegas incident. It breaks my heart that so many people died. I live in Japan and it is unheard of here to have so many people killed by guns. May be America should do some research on gun violence and re-think their gun policies before more people get killed tragically by people who can obtain guns so easily. It is a tragedy beyond words that the 2nd amendment is upheld as a right but who said it is a right to take away another person's life as of its consequence? To live in fear of being shot by another is something that always bothered me while I was in the States. I can say that this fear is becoming even worse with every gun massacre that is occurring in the States. I almost got shot once by a angry person who did not make it in time to ride the bus. He shot at the bus and the bullet flew right above my head. It caused me much fear and made me stay inside at night. This was a long time ago in the States. Now, I would be afraid of walking down a unknown street in the day time. What is America becoming? I love America and hope that one day all can walk anywhere anytime in America without fear of being shot. Again, Las Vegas is a tragedy that leaves me in a depressed mood. How many gun tragedies must happen before Americans realize something has to be done to avert them? Ok, you say people kill people, not guns. America does not have the resources to pinpoint each and every person who is going to go berserk and kill people with guns as far as I can see. However, these gun tragedies are only giving more excuses for the government to monitor its citizens even more. If that is what people who want to bear arms want- a Big Brother Nation. I would like to have faith in the belief of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for all. What happened to this belief? I feel only despair, not happiness. I sense death for those who have been killed. I feel a loss of freedom because of all of this. It is a sad day indeed.

what a depressing afternoon

binging on chocolate and watching some rubbish drama thing

waiting for a call that's not even happened yet (it was meant to be at 12, it's now half 2)

I don't even have the energy to phone back at the moment- see this is the mistake I made.

give myself a rest day from what i'm meant to be doing, and now I don't want to chase it at all

and I feel crap for it

and I thought rest days were meant to be good

and I thought my mentoring course really helped

and I thought and thought and was wrong..

[hopeless2015]

2nd day back to work. It's so hard to get back into the swing of things. It will happen, just takes some time. My supervisor asked me as we were leaving for lunch if I was getting caught up...give me s ****ing break!!

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( hopeless ))))))

It's quite an accomplishment that you've been able to make it to work.
The overwhelm must feel discouraging?


WC