[Gabyunbound]

I had one day of hypomania symptoms (felt like I was crawling out of my skin, couldn't focus on anything, hyper, etc.) and I thought I was going down the rabbit hole after 2 years of remission. But then -poof!- it went away. I got a bit of a cold and thought it was that, but the cold turned out to be really mild. I wish I knew why it happened because I really don't think it was BP-related; it would have lasted a lot longer. Scared the bejeesus out of me, though!

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m still depressed. Not nearly as bad and not psychotic anymore but still down. It’s frustrating. And the pdoc in the program is hesitant to give bipolar people antidepressants. She did increase my depakote to 1500mg. But I’ve read that depakote doesn’t really help with depression. I don’t know what to do. I’m taking the rest of November off of work but it will be unpaid. I have to go back in December and get paid again.

I have a lot of cleaning to do but I just want to lay on the couch under a blanket. I have to book My son’s bday party. He’s already upset that it’s going to be late and I feel awful for not booking it earlier. I’ve just been too low. We’re having a family party for him next week the day before his birthday but he also wants a kid party of course.

I’m trying to plan really easy dinners this week so my son doesn’t end up eating a peanut butter sandwich every damn day. So far I have today and tomorrow planned. Need Tuesday and Wednesday. We usually grab something quick on Thursday and go to a restaurant Friday. I have a couple of skillet dinners in my freezer so I’ll be using that too.

Sigh...I don’t know what to do about this depression. I don’t want ECT again.

[hopeless2015]

Been a lazy morning at our house. My husband made bacon and eggs. I've done nothing. It's a rainy dreary day. Need to get off my *** and clean the bathroom, it's not that bad but I've vowed to not let this new place get dirty. Sending hugs to everyone!!

I should be skiing right now. Instead I'm *****ing about how much meds and bipolar have taken from me.

[liveforsummer]

Well considering I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning I’ve been quite productive. I’m am starting to feel apprehensive about Christmas coming up though. I’ll have to work really hard to keep it less stressful this year.

Hugs to all struggling

I've been doing well. Love driving! My legs hurt really bad tho. Need to get in with the dr. Might be from being more active. My son turned 22 on the 10th. I got him a piercing for his bday. Last night went out with the family for it to black Angus. We had a good time. My sister mickey surprised us she was here. He made out good in presents.

Was nice seeing and spending time with the family. So other than my legs things are going well.

[glennk]

What other meds have you been on?

[Unrigged64072835]

I haven't been here for a while, so hugs to all that need them.

Despite two nerve blocks in the lumbar area I'm still having a lot of lower back pain. The right side has been kick for three weeks now. The doc I saw gave me naproxen (that doesn't work) and Tramadol (that I can't take because I have sleep apnea and don't want to stop breathing). So basically having to lie down a lot because every other position hurts. I won't see my pain management doc until the end of the month. I still have to do house stuff while everybody else is doing schoolwork, so I don't know if I'll get a break anytime soon.

I've been in a low-grade depression since August. I see my pnurse Tuesday but I don't know what to tell her. It might be the chronic pain, or the increasing darkness, or something. I just don't want to change my meds to something that can wreck my liver. I can ask for an AD but may not get that either. My mood goes to hell this time of year anyway. I'm not suicidal so don't need an intervention, but I don't know what will help.

Thankfully we have bought most of the Christmas presents so we can coast into the New Year. Just need to get a couple of small things for my daughter's boyfriend. It would be nice if he had more than one gift under the tree. Hopefully my mood picks up by Thanksgiving though my daughter is working that day. She decided to quit her job after Black Friday--a lot of good people are leaving due to bad management and she doesn't want to deal with all the BS anymore. Her boyfriend has a job lined up for her where he works. She's taking a month off to finish this term and take a break. I wouldn't blame her for that.

So that's current life in a nutshell. Off to give dinner to the cats. My cat is rubbing up against the back of my head to entice me to feed her.

[Moose72]

My car is in the shop. They won't look at it till Monday. I'm very tired right now.. just had to listen to my friend ramble on to my son about politics. :-(. Why does he feel it's ok to pontificate??

[wildflowerchild25]

So I told the guy I’m seeing about my bipolar and he was very supportive. I assumed he would want to stop seeing me immediately bc honestly who wants to deal with all this bs? But he didn’t. He has pretty bad depression during fall/winter so I guess he understands a little bit. He didn’t seem to care that I was in a psych hospital. He cares more that I didn’t give him a chance to decide for himself how he felt. So I apologized for that. And now we’re in good terms.

On another note I’m trying to secure fmla paperwork for my job. Right now I’m still mildly to moderately depressed so I can’t go back yet. I think I could fake it but I really don’t want to run myself into the ground. I can’t stay out forever because it is unpaid leave (not eligible for short term disability as per my contract). I dunno what I’m gonna do really. I wish I could resign now. But it’s a better financial decision to stick it out and save as much money as I can so when I resign in June I have money to live on for a few months while I job hunt.

I don’t know.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by rose1985

I've been doing well. Love driving! My legs hurt really bad tho. Need to get in with the dr. Might be from being more active. My son turned 22 on the 10th. I got him a piercing for his bday. Last night went out with the family for it to black Angus. We had a good time. My sister mickey surprised us she was here. He made out good in presents.

Was nice seeing and spending time with the family. So other than my legs things are going well.

check your vit d level could be low. should be 50-60. I take 5,000 units daily to keep my level high enough. sister gets leg pains when she forgets to take her vit d3.

bizi

I had trouble getting up today. I finally made it up at 3pm, not great. I was tired from staying up late. I was able to rake leaves. I can’t let them blow into the neighbors’yards.

I went to a very small zoo yesterday. It didn’t quite cheer me up as much as I had hoped. I guess I’m still struggling with a little depression, but it isn’t terrible.

I’m trying to keep my disordered thinking in order. I have come to realize that my own thoughts cause unbearable anxiety. I am hoping the DBT helps.

[NorthernAuroras]

Having a hard time right now. I work in retail. I worked an 8 hr shift today. The bosses were there the entire day. Absolutely exhausted. Had a customer freak out on me. Called me an A-hole because I was following rules and doing my job. I wanted to cry. I don't want to go back to work. Very teary tonight. Obsessing over dealing with the customer again.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by NorthernAuroras

Having a hard time right now. I work in retail. I worked an 8 hr shift today. The bosses were there the entire day. Absolutely exhausted. Had a customer freak out on me. Called me an A-hole because I was following rules and doing my job. I wanted to cry. I don't want to go back to work. Very teary tonight. Obsessing over dealing with the customer again.

I am sorry that happened to you.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Moreta]

I'm still sick. fun times. Woke up around 11:45 tonight after going to bed at 7 something and it's 2:41 now. I can take more cold meds at 3:45, so going to wait till then then try to get some more sleep. Need to get up early today cause I have a drs appt at 10:15. I have been so out of it so my husband is going to drive me. Maybe we'll go see the new thor movie after. I wonder if I could talk him into going to the juice shop too. I hope my blood work comes back today. They're checking me for hepatitis a and b now for some reason. Oh well. it never ends.

[Sunflower123]

I feel so discouraged right now. The hospital called this morning and postponed my surgery without giving me a reason, am having a disagreement with a close family member who I may have to distance myself from, and my cat has shown her displeasure with me being busy and not giving her as much attention by going to the bathroom on my new outfit, my new bedding and my favorite tote bag.

Nothing major and I’ll get over it but my thoughts started heading down a dark path in the midst of this. Sometimes it feels like if it’s not one thing it’s another.

Sending hugs to all who are struggling today.

[hopeless2015]

Not feeling very ambitious today. Going to be a long day at work. I always struggle on Mondays. I did absolutely nothing yesterday, and in the evenings my anxiety always goes up about going back to work on Monday. I'm off the Busbar for anxiety now. For the most part that seems to be going ok, just seems to be that I always get anxiety on Sunday night. Hugs to all!

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I feel so discouraged right now. The hospital called this morning and postponed my surgery without giving me a reason, am having a disagreement with a close family member who I may have to distance myself from, and my cat has shown her displeasure with me being busy and not giving her as much attention by going to the bathroom on my new outfit, my new bedding and my favorite tote bag.

Nothing major and I’ll get over it but my thoughts started heading down a dark path in the midst of this. Sometimes it feels like if it’s not one thing it’s another.

That stuff IS major! Don't discount your feelings about everything - but I hope you can avoid that dark path. I know you were looking forward to a turkey dinner, but hopefully you'll have the surgery before then. Family & cats can not be trained sometimes. Feel better!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by emgreen

That stuff IS major! Don't discount your feelings about everything - but I hope you can avoid that dark path. I know you were looking forward to a turkey dinner, but hopefully you'll have the surgery before then. Family & cats can not be trained sometimes. Feel better!

That really made me laugh. You’re right. Family and cats can not be trained sometimes. I needed that. Thanks!!

[Nammu]

Mums bronchitis is dragging on, getting tired of the poor me she is affecting. But then if I were nearly 90 I suppose I'd be weak too and not want to do much.

[liveforsummer]

Cold and damp here today, despise this kind of weather. Slept poorly again and it has such a direct impact on mood. Got some stuff done today but now all I really want to do is crawl back into bed and sleep and pretend I don't have to go to work tomorrow.

I’ve been working in reducing anxiety, and I was doing OK, but I get into work, read the first email, and anxiety shoots through me.

I am so tired of this. I’m going to try harder to get control. I’ll talk to the therapist again about this.

[Tucson]

I am taking medication for my hand tremor. I do not know if the medication is at fault here, but I am feeling very emotionally distrought. I do not know what to do about this. Little things are now triggering me. I also am having a problems forming words as I,speak. I took myself off of this medication to see what happens. I am still losing weight. This is not good. I went from 235 to 176 in a short time, most of it happening within about a month. I do not know what has been causing this.

Today I cancelled the signing of the home equity line of credit. I do not konw if this was a good decision. Maybe the loan application I have recently submitted to anoth bank will be approved. I really need this to happen. I also broke down and got in contact with my daughter. Earlier she said that she did not want me in her life. I did this because of her constantly not being truthful with me, and because of her poor grades. But my relationship with her is more important than this. We are on better terms now.

[Daonnachd]

I need to phone my pdoc's billing office, but I'm anxious about doing so. It's just the conversation with a stranger that's got me on edge. I know how much we owe ($1,270), but I need to clarify things regarding insurance and automatic payments.

I've also got to go to the post office to get a stamp for my son's SAT registration.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I also broke down and got in contact with my daughter. Earlier she said that she did not want me in her life. I did this because of her constantly not being truthful with me, and because of her poor grades. But my relationship with her is more important than this. We are on better terms now.

I'm glad you got in touch with her. I hope it went well.