[Unrigged64072835]

Finished my second exam yesterday. Did some research for a book I want to write. Whether it'll be written is another thing. Will start on the next homework page next week.

My husband and I bought a couple of puzzles to work on. It's something to do in the evenings instead of watching TV shows. Don't know where to do it, though.

Moods have been variable but workable.

[xRavenx]

I'm feeling kind of the same as I was yesterday. I am pretty sure this is some kind of mixed episode. I know I need to call my pdoc to "get permission" to go up on my Seroquel by just a little bit. I am pretty positive she will be fine with this. I have the extra pills, so maybe I'll take one tonight, because I am pretty desperate. Something else weird today: I feel like I'm in a daze, and it doesn't feel medication-induced. Objects and things are starting to appear different to me, and I feel like I am floating as my mind races a lot. I don't really know what that is about or if anyone has ever experienced that.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Thinking of you and sending big hugs and positive vibes.

Thanks so much. It has been the worst week in a long time, so seeing these few words from you buoyed my heart.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

(((((( vertigo ))))))

Thinking of you.

WC

Thank you. I know that you’ve got a lot going on, too. My heart swells at being included in your circle of care.

[Tucson]

I am alive. So I have that going for me. I have been helping my daughter find health insurance. She is turning 18 in a few weeks. This scares me. I do not think she is ready to take on adult responsibilities. So I will cautiously hang in the background.

My court date is coming up in a few days. This makes me very nervous. I need to give my side of the accident and then see what happens. I hope the judge will be in a good mood for me.

I am now counting calories again. I need to do this, I am paranoid of both gaining weight and losing weight. I think this does not make sense, does it? I was at 235. I do not ever want to be even close to this weight again. I lost an incredible amount of weight in a short time, 60 pounds in total. I kept losing with no reason at all. Can depression do this? I finally stabilized.

[sonjaward809]

Well my day wasn't spectacular but it wasn't horrible either.

I just got back home after being stranded again because of my car breaking down. Same issue though. It keeps sputtering and turning off .. smh. I usually only go so far but my brother is in town and kept wanting to go get the codes read at AutoZone ... I kept telling him it wouldn't make it there and back but noooo he didn't listen. So we ended up stranded up the street from the house. The whole time he was complaining and being extremely rude to me .. saying that I should of told him that the car wasn't working properly, and I've told him multiple times what it does and how it wouldn't make it. Guess he didn't believe me until it happened with him there. I was trying to get ahold of my insurance company to tow the car and he kept trying to tell me to not call them, I called them still and they towed us. My brother is also bipolar so both of us together doesn't end well really. I wanted to strangle him for being so darn rude to me and bullying me .. but I kept my cool for over an hour while we waited before I snapped back at him. He quieted down once he realized I wasn't in the mood for his crap. He just gets on a certain nerve of mine and I want to punch the s*** out of him sometimes, mainly because he won't listen to what you have to say or even take your feelings into consideration. He has no-filter and does things as he pleases, without thinking of the consequences. My other brothers would have knocked some sense into him if they heard the way he was talking to me, so he's careful to not do it around them. During all this my phone was on 1% and he still had some juice in his phone .. but wouldn't call anybody to help us. He kept telling me to call our uncle and have him help us .. he's like that though. Makes all of us do everything for him, he just won't help himself. If you can't tell I'm quite irritated because of the car situation I just went through. Idk how I managed to stay calm 90% of the two hours I was stuck, but I did. Other than that, my day was fine. I took a nap and watched a movie. Now I'm going to try and relax since he's pissed me off. I'll keep away from him for the rest of the day and stay in my room...

[bizi]

WE are staying put!
Well after looking at the 3 houses and then talking with a couple of realtors about our area that we live in.
We believe our house was built better than new homes. So we have decided to stay put and remodel our kitchen and maybe baths.
We are having a man come look at our front door to see about installing a new one.
We have already picked out a new door. We like a certain one but it will have to be stained first. It looks like a frank loyd wright door, with geometric angles/lines.
First the foundation needs to be dealt with.$$$$
We will take out a line of credit against the house using equity to pay for the repairs and remodel.
The kitchen designer is contacting us next week to come to the house and measure the kitchen. The man/Jeff is someone that was recommended and works for home depot. We went there this afternoon to start looking at kitchens and cabinets. We have to bring in the sample of laminate flooring that we saved from 16 years ago from the kitchen to match the cupboards.
Brenda from home depot helped to make up a mock up of the kitchen on her computer. It is amazing what they can do. Next week The cabinet guy/Jeff will measure the kitchen and both bathrooms.
bizi

[Tucson]

I think I am losing my mind. I forgot to turn the stove off. Then I forgot to turn the oven off. Then later in the day, I fmissed time and overbaked my dessert. I have been leaving stuff that was in my hands all over the place and not knowing where when I look for them. I forgot to go to the bank today. I think I am losing my mind!

Now if this is not enough, I am feeling that I said something wrong to my step son and now he is avoiding me. Paranoia at play here. He would not answer my texts. He was suppose to be over to finish my floor, but he did not show up. He must be really busy doing something else. Then the whole family stopped answering my texts. Then I was concerned that there was some family emergency which they were not including me in. Boy, I outdid myself when it came to paranoia and delusions. I have not felt this way in many years. What is happening here? Oh well. I now am beginnng to think everything will work out.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

You’ve got a lot on your plate!! Please take good care of you too.

Thanks, Jennifer. I often (lately) feel close to being "burnt out." I guess I don't have a lot of reserves for ongoing stress. This unexpected post-surgical infection (with my mom) is very much a "long haul" type of a deal. Months are needed to fight the infection and it may or may not be successful. Keeping her spirits up is exhausting.

Thanks again!


WC

[LadyShadow]

Feeling the mania take me over in the late hours of the night, knowing that I need to get to bed soon. I woke up feeling like the biggest pile of poop, because I woke up SO damn late, that I couldn't accomplish anything. But I didn't let that ruin my evening. I watched The Godfather Part II for the first time ever, and it was great! I can see why it has a legacy.

Anyway, I am spinning out of control and it is almost 2am and I KNOW I have to get to bed soon if I plan on getting anything done tomorrow. God help me why won't my brain stop racing like this!! UGHHH!

[Pookyl]

Continuing to be stable bipolar wise. It sounds stupid but I’m feeling anxious about how long the stability will last.
I’ve seen both kids face to face in the past week. They’re in a good place at the moment so my anxiety levels regarding them are low.

I probably need to "get my arse in gear" as they say sometimes In the UK.

yesterday I had a takeaway, and I've still not cleared away the boxes (so my room smells like fried chicken, perhaps not a bad thing) but I still need to clear them away

I need to shower too. been saying it since friday but not actually done it yet.

mood's good (sort of), just no motivation- would rather sit in front of the tv than get stuff done

[scatterbrained04]

I'm on the mood merry-go-round. Might be time to give pdoc a call.

[bpforever1]

I am doing ok. I took my meds this morning and went out. I ate well and rested. Tomorrow, I have an interview and will teach a class in the evening. It should go ok.

[bizi]

WE have been toying with the idea of fixing up the house over the past few years. We took out a tree that was supposed to be affecting the foundation last summer and had the foundation inspected 2 years ago but never acted on it.
Recently we discovered many cracks in the sheet rock that were not there, lord knows how long they have been there. They split the wall paper!
Then there is the door we had picked out over a year ago but never followed thru. Right now it is next to impossible to lock the front door.
Lets see if we can finally follow thru on these endeavors.
They guy who could install our door is coming this morning to give us a quote. It needs to be stained.
Next week we will talk and set up an appointment for another man to measure the kitchen and bathrooms. Jeff is going to get more estimates from several companies about the repair to the foundation.
That will be a huge project!!!!
So this has been in the works for a while now. We have just not been committed to making the financial commitment to go ahead with the projects.
Last week I met with the bank about getting a new line of credit ours expires in 6 months. The new one will be for 10 years, but we can extend it after that.
We ignored the foundation and have issues with cracks etc.
I believe we have to address this firstly before we can go on with the other ares.
It will cost over $10k.
bizi

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I am doing ok. I took my meds this morning and went out. I ate well and rested. Tomorrow, I have an interview and will teach a class in the evening. It should go ok.

good luck for the interview

((((((hugs))))

Bad vibes in this house today. Trying not to let the fighting get to me. Also trying not to get involved in the fighting at that.

[Tucson]

My hands are shaking allot. My step son is helping me find a car. He is one heck of a person! I am so fortunate.

[GoldenSnitch]

Lots of anxiety today. My application for my masters program is due in a few days and the whole thing has me super anxious

Still feeling moderately depressed, still sleeping too much.

Wish I wasn't feeling like sh_t, but I don't want to tell my pdoc. He'll just boost my meds to further numb me. I'd rather be like this, with a few blips and bumps, than be totally numb. It just sucks that I feel like sh_t. I want an antidepressant boost rather than an AP boost (because I know he'll want to boost my AP instead of my AD).

Why can't my pdoc try increasing my AD? I'll be honest with him if it makes me manic. I'm always honest about those things.

[hopeless2015]

Too much drinking this weekend. Maybe someday I'll learn. Gambled too but I didn't loose much money this weekend on that...thankfully. back to work tomorrow. Hugs everyone

[Tina-ina]

I feel good today. But I didn't do any chores or excersise and I eat whatever I wanted. So I felt good. The moment I try to discipline myself and do hard things or start working and need concentration or eat something I don't like I feel wierd and either sad or obsessive or very anxious. I need to make myself more discipline without getting all these mood changes. But I also needed one day free of these stuff.

Originally Posted by bizi

WE have been toying with the idea of fixing up the house over the past few years. We took out a tree that was supposed to be affecting the foundation last summer and had the foundation inspected 2 years ago but never acted on it.
Recently we discovered many cracks in the sheet rock that were not there, lord knows how long they have been there. They split the wall paper!
Then there is the door we had picked out over a year ago but never followed thru. Right now it is next to impossible to lock the front door.
Lets see if we can finally follow thru on these endeavors.
They guy who could install our door is coming this morning to give us a quote. It needs to be stained.
Next week we will talk and set up an appointment for another man to measure the kitchen and bathrooms. Jeff is going to get more estimates from several companies about the repair to the foundation.
That will be a huge project!!!!
So this has been in the works for a while now. We have just not been committed to making the financial commitment to go ahead with the projects.
Last week I met with the bank about getting a new line of credit ours expires in 6 months. The new one will be for 10 years, but we can extend it after that.
We ignored the foundation and have issues with cracks etc.
I believe we have to address this firstly before we can go on with the other ares.
It will cost over $10k.
bizi

Bizi—this kind of thing with the house really stresses me out. We have a gigantic tree between our houses, but it’s on the neighbor’s property and they won’t remove it. Sigh. I’m really worried about it messing with the foundation.

I had a pipe break a couple of years ago, and the repairs and all the fussing with the clean up, insurance, contractors—it was a lot to cope with.

I hope it all goes smoothly for you

Super up today. Vibrating with happiness. Optimistic about life. Feeling a little crazy. Dancing to music. Good.

[Unhinged88]

Depressed. Tired. Hungover. Wasted the whole day.