[99fairies]

I feel really good today. Got up at 5, but that's not uncommon for me. Still very cold, but sending the kids to school today anyway. I'm just so happy I'm feeling more like myself again!

mental health worker let me down again wednesday, and wasn't happy about that at all.

had to take out a case with an amazon seller since they wouldn't refund me money on an order that never arived (so hopefully they will now, or else!)

next week (on monday), I am finally going to find out what date in febuary I am going to move in to my new permament accomodation (so that's making me quite anxious, since I actually don't want to know!)

well, I do, but I don't. it's one of those situations

it's only friday but it's really playing on my mind.
sleep's been non existent since- I don't know when

cut a few times this week and did overeat (but not had any takeaways)

feeling okay about things... I just want to get monday over with, then I think I'll feel better about things

[bizi]

Originally Posted by glamslam

Bizi,

I lost weight on Geodon, too! A friend with BP1 had the same experience.

Happy for you!

Glam

yes geodon is weight neutral.
For me, the addition of the 2.5mg of zyprexa helped to stabilize me enough to be able to diet. Even though it is a known weight gainer.
I am so happy about this. BipolarRN gave me the courage to try the zyprexa because she is BP1 and takes geodon and 5mg of zyprexa and lost like 40 pounds.

Happy happy happy
bizi

[251turnaround]

Still feeling really stable for a few weeks now. Meds seem to be working I guess. My only problem is constant exhaustion.

Been pretty stable. Down if I reflect at all (so I try not to), but, you know, life's been hard and it's wearing. (Among other things, BF had spinal surgery in Sept., and though he is healing, it has been a slow process and the whole thing reorients your world. Part of that is that is that my needs have been on indefinite hold, and though that sounds really selfish to complain about, trust me, it's not.)

But overall, staying afloat, which has been a small miracle. A piece of good news too -- the seasonal job I had asked me to stay on! I can only handle part time, but now at least we know money will be coming in so we have something to work with.

Hugs to all who need them!

[BPQuestions]

The last few days have been very good. Ive had a few melt downs but my overall life situation sucks right now. But my perception about it is ok. My medication is doing wonders right now. I havnt felt this clear in years.

Doing better than I have been in years. I think I am -- dare I say -- stable???

I've been consistent on my medications! Well, I do have some psychosis outside of mood episodes, but ever since upping my Rexulti dose recently, the voices have vanished.

I hope I can manage to stay symptom free for *at least* a few months. Ideally I'd like to be 100% symptom free for the rest of my life, but I know that won't happen, so I'm hoping that I'll be okay for at least a few months. I haven't gone more than 1.5 months without an episode. (Mostly my fault, as I am usually inconsistent on medications. So the rapid cycling makes sense.)

[sonjaward809]

Well my back is acting up today .. so I will be stuck on my heating pad for a few hours. I ran out of my pain meds about a week ago so I don’t have anything to take for it. Advil doesn’t do anything and over-the-counter meds don’t work either. So I have to take Tylenol #3. I just heard back from the Medicaid person today and I have to send it some letters of support as well as proof that I applied for disability before I can get approved. So that’s the next steps for that. I haven’t heard back from my lawyer yet on my disability case so I’ll need to reach out to her soon. But today I’m tired so I don’t see me getting my tasks for the day done .. I keep telling myself maybe tomorrow but that was 2 days ago. I don’t wanna fall into the habit of putting stuff off so I’ll have to push myself to do things while my body catches up to my mind. I’m still coming out of a depressive episode and I know it’s going to take a minute until I’m back to normal. I kinda wish I was at least slightly manic so I would have the energy to finish things I need to do.

[99fairies]

I took my first dose of seroquel yesterday morning around 10 am. I fell asleep right away and just now woke up (it's 6:30 am here ). I missed my supper meds and my night meds. I never miss my meds, so I don't know how I'm gonna feel today.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Doing better than I have been in years. I think I am -- dare I say -- stable???

I've been consistent on my medications! Well, I do have some psychosis outside of mood episodes, but ever since upping my Rexulti dose recently, the voices have vanished.

I hope I can manage to stay symptom free for *at least* a few months. Ideally I'd like to be 100% symptom free for the rest of my life, but I know that won't happen, so I'm hoping that I'll be okay for at least a few months. I haven't gone more than 1.5 months without an episode. (Mostly my fault, as I am usually inconsistent on medications. So the rapid cycling makes sense.)

Happy for you blue! I am relatively stable too. shhhh!
don't want to jinx myself.
bizi

[Unrigged64072835]

In some physical pain today. Hopefully it will pass, though the lower back is still an issue.

Finished my week's homework this morning. I was up early because my mind raced into a bad neighborhood and I needed to call the reality cops.

It should be a quiet day, though we have a lot of snow and the wind seems to keep pushing more.

Glad you're doing well Blue and Bizi. Hugs to those who want them.

[251turnaround]

I can feel it creeping back up again. I hope it's just me having a streak of good days, but after last month I don't know if I can trust my mood anymore.

I don't want another mixed state. It was terrifying. I scared people around me. I scared myself.

[scatterbrained04]

I can read!!! Ok, that's my excitement for the last day or two. I haven't been able to read in 3 months. I've had two half-read books lying around that whole time. Finished one of them this morning.

In addition to my concentration, my appetite is also improved.

I'm hoping this means what I want it to mean.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m slightly depressed today which is coming out in irritability toward my son and the world in general. I think I’m feeling some type of way about my brother having his baby. I am of course overjoyed for them and to have a niece, but at the same time I am sad and jealous. Jealous that my SIL has my brother to help her with the baby. I’ve been a single mom since May of 2015 and it’s so ****ing hard, especially with my illness. I’m jealous they both have good jobs and a house. They have everything I wanted but was never able to achieve bc of my illness and my husband’s addiction.

I also know that I will not see them as much anymore. It’s hard with a new baby and my SIL refuses to bring the baby to my mom’s house (where I live) because it’s too messy, even if I clean it. Which is infuriating to me because it’s so insulting. I understand not allowing the baby to go into my mom’s area, but I can clean the downstairs really well and it’s not good enough for her. I’m afraid she’s going to be so controlling that I’ll never see the baby. She’s already said she won’t give her soda or fast food, sugar, etcetera. I feel like she’s judging me for my parenting even though I know that’s all in my head. I just feel like an inadequate mother next to her and she’s only been a mother for three days.

Sigh. I really hope it’s just a situational thing and I’ll go back to normal tomorrow. I won’t fare well through another severe depressive episode.

[Tucson]

My step son and his friend are laying tile in my living room. I imagine they will come back for the hallway. He is treating me extraordinarily well. I just do not know what to do. But it is very nice. He is painting and tiling my townhouse saving me allot of money.

[xRavenx]

Today was an emotional rollercoaster. I went to work after being sick with a cold, and I had a really bad headache, but I suspect that was mostly from anxiety. I was so relieved to have my therapy visit with my pdoc. It had been way overdue. I talked to her about my concerns about Seroquel and feeling like I need a break from being on a high dose. She was able to see that I am in a worst spot emotionally then I have been in a while, mainly because of the very high level of anxiety and grief and loss issues. It might sound strange that a pdoc would lower my medication based on her observation that I am not in a good spot, but she did so in order to relieve me from the heavy sedation that I have been experiencing. All my other meds we are keeping the same. I like how she really listens to my needs and doesn't automatically up my meds without my input. Since I am other high-dose meds, I don't think the lower dose of Seroquel will be bad as of now. We always adjust my Seroquel. Klonopin helped me after my session with her today, since I had been a mess from crying so much and tensing up. I am glad it's the weekend though.

I hope you all have a good weekend and hugs to all.

[Victoria'smom]

I’m behind on my studies and it’s only the first week. We need to clean because we get inspected on Tuesday. “Ana” has been gone for a little. I’m still wary to put anything in my mouth for fear she’ll show up again. I feel stupid and inadequate. I feel like I can’t think. I know I need a therapist one that listens but I don’t want to change clinics yet again but I like the dissolvable medications. I actually take then even when I don’t want to for fear insurance will take it away if I’m non-compliant. I’m IDK okay I guess. I can’t tell what I feel. I just want to curl into a ball sobbing and fall asleep and wake up wednesday. I’m supposed to see pdoc friday but my husband is heading a field trip for our co op. My son miss his appointment but he’s not being compliant. I told him we’ll make him one when his taking his meds but we have to get him back to his therapist. We’re running out of money for gas/food. Everything is going good for us why do I feel so hard on myself. I’m a ***** and I know it. I mean I try. I really do but my fuse is to short. My son and cousins are going to go laser tagging.

[Daonnachd]

ECT went well yesterday. The IV went in easily beforehand and I woke up quickly afterward.

[Pookyl]

I’m still feeling ok although I can feel agitation brewing. I was just a teensy weensy bit elevated yesterday and today I’m feeling a corresponding teeny weeny bit negative.
Trying to not let the fact that my head is a seesaw get to me.

[bizi]

Had too much chocolate...oh well there is always tomorrow.
Time to pop some corn.
bizi
I am still alcohol free.
we watched the post tonight. good movie!

[Standup2me]

Am I going crazy?
Am I insane?
I just want to walk outside (it is -42 here) and just slip away
I don't care
I don't anything...who cares?

[Moreta]

Today was a decent day. Went to wally world and got some food. Specifically some turkey stuff cause I'm ****ing tired of fish and chicken. Then I took my husband to pick up his car from the repair shop today. He went out and hung out with his friends tonight so I stayed home and made mini turkey meatloafs. They came out pretty good, but stuck to the pan. Grrrr. I passed out around 7 something and missed the warriors game. I think I'm gonna go back to bed now.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Am I going crazy?
Am I insane?
I just want to walk outside (it is -42 here) and just slip away
I don't care
I don't anything...who cares?

Do you want to talk more about this?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[bpforever1]

I am doing well but slept too much. I woke up and ate. I will now do my tasks. I feel pretty good. I received a request for an interview from my former school. I was part-time before and want to be full-time. It is in a rural area but it is still an opportunity I can't dismiss. I will try to prepare for my interview as well as do my tasks. I am doing ok.

[BPQuestions]

Im doing ok I guess. Had a fun day with my kids yesterday and a semi crazy day with my soon to be ex. I completely believe she needs to be assesed too. But I can only work on my well being.