Manic husband is shutting me out

Hi misinfinity:
I think that your husband is suffering from some sort of psychotic breakdown myself. I use to call my mom's condition the jeckyl/hyde syndrome. For lack of better knowledge.
He's sweet one minute, and a raging volcano the next. Is it possible he is also suffering from PTSD? Alot of veterans came home with that over the Vietnam War. It might even be from all the rest of them as well. Was he a veteran at one time? Did he serve overseas?
If not, then I would try some sort of intervention with a specialist there as he could become quite combative and hurt someone. You do not want to trigger that reaction...I assure you!!
If he says " no", then back off as you may bite off more than you can chew. Since I don't have a full picture of his background of mental health, it would be hard for me to try to tell you what's wrong with him. That takes a pdoc. Right now he's in total " denial"........and there's nothing you can do about that.
You can't change him. My step-father had my mother wrapped around his little finger.....she was his love slave....
and she just ate it up. It made me want to puke!!! I knew he
was yanking her chain........he was like that too. Sweet as cherries, but bad to the bone the next minute. I use to think he was BORN that way. He could throw her down a flight of stairs, refuse her medical treatment, and she'd be back in his arms the next night. I wanted to kill that bastard.....I hated him. She loved him. Please don't put your boy through that. Don't make him live in YOUR mistakes. It will do more harm then good in the long run. Protect him so he doesn't ever doubt your love for him. Nothing is worth the loss of your child. No matter how it hurts!!!

No, my husband is not a veteran. He just turned 34 last month and it seems as if his mental illness just gets worse the older he gets. He was only diagnosed a year ago with the bi polar, but I honestly think there is something else there. I'm no doctor, but like I said, BPD maybe.

I think his mother is going to call his pdoc because there is no way I can do it. He will flip out on me. He'll probably flip on her too, but she's his mother. She claims she noticed things in him when he was growing up, but has also noticed the anger and personality problems even more so as he has gotten older. Also, his mother's family has a history of schizophrenia so I'm sure thats where all of this comes from. I don't think his fathers family had any diagnosed mental illness, but his father was physically abused and then verbally abused my husband up until the age of 18 or so.

I am new here too. I have been living with the bipolar diagnoses for 18 years. The treatment you are receiving from your husband sounds very similar to the way I treated my first husband. I had a manic episode that involved delusions and became convinced that I had to divorce my husband. He is a very kind but naive person and could not comprehend what I was going through. Unfortunately the divorce proceeded and we went our separate ways. I got medication and therapy and felt a deep sense of regret over the loss of the marriage. I can say that medication completely altered my frame of mind. I believe if your husband is properly medicated he may alter his behavior.
Ultimately, you have to take care of yourself and you sound like you are in a great deal of pain. I hope that your situation is settled for the best of both of you.

Hello everyone. It has been a while since I have logged on and just wanted to give you an update in my crazy world.

My husband ended up filing for divorce at the end of November (after I filed in July and then called it off) and I was served the papers 2 weeks ago. I was very hurt and angry, but yet not too surprised. I have not seen my husband since the middle of November when I went to our house to confront him about his decision to divorce me. We have chatted online a few times and had some friendly banter, but we have also had a few blow outs since then.

Currently, my husband is very upset with me because I questioned him about the girl he had an affair with this summer. I noticed that she is back on his MySpace friends list so I could only assume that they are being friendly again. They do see each other every Sunday at church, but he swears up and down that they don't even speak and that she has a new boyfriend who even attends church with her every Sunday. My husband tells me he is alone and concentrating on himself. He tells me he has no interest i dating because he is trying to break his cycle of going from one relationship to another which he has done for the past 10 years now.

I on the other hand have been dating. I have been casually dating a man for about a month now although I'm not feeling any real romantic spark and I don't see it going anywhere. I have also been talking to another man who I am very interested in, but we have only been out one time. We chat online a couple times a day and exchange text messages, but he was very busy with his law school finals before Christmas and then of course busy with his family at Christmas. Anyway, we are finally supposed to go on our second date this coming week after new years.

I am still missing my husband and I cry almost daily. I am trying to move on with my life, but things are hard. I am attending therapy every week and my therapist thinks I am making progress. I know that I have made progress, but sometimes its very hard for me to accept where my life has gone. I still don't want the divorce, but I know it is inevitable. My husband has made up his mind and I am not going to try to contest the divorce.

I have realized that there are bigger and better things out there for me and I do look forward to those things. I will always love my husband and I do wish him well. It has been very hard for me to not think that he will once again get married and end up in the same position he is in with me. He says he is desperate to have children which really scares me because if he does end up in the same spot, then there will be children involved and they will be the ones to suffer the most. My therapist tells me not only do I need to stop predicting the future, but I also need to stop worrying about E and what his futures holds. His life is no longer my life and it is none of my business what he does.

So, there it is. I am alone and living my life as a single woman again. Sometimes I get very depressed and other times I'm happier than I've been in years. I've figured out that the best thing for me to do is to take my life one day at a time and that is whats going to get me through this whole ordeal.

I'm sorry you couldn't maintain your marriage but it sounds like you had no control over the situation. Like most things in life sometimes all we can do is control our own reactions.
I hope you find happiness and give yourself time to heal from this.
Therapy is good and keep talking to us. ((((hugs)))