[Lifeischallenging]

Originally Posted by vertigo

Hypomanic, but too embarrassed to describe all my symptoms. Yesterday I only told my T that I was doing quite well, but I’m planning to be completely open with her next week as long as she promises to not throw me out.

That is what to do. Be honest with her. Whenever I am experiencing one of my mood swings, I come out to the people who care about me and tell them what happened or why it happened. I hope she'll understand. She is your therapist after all.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm getting angrier and angrier that I can't hurt myself. I'm getting really agitated. I had one of the most stress days I can have just going to walmart. I can't wait for my husband's family to leave. Last night I had to take an ambien because I was freaking out that it felt like bugs were on my skin and falling out of my hair.

Tomorrow is Miguel's 16th birthday party. We're having about 20 people over.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm getting angrier and angrier that I can't hurt myself. I'm getting really agitated. I had one of the most stress days I can have just going to walmart. I can't wait for my husband's family to leave. Last night I had to take an ambien because I was freaking out that it felt like bugs were on my skin and falling out of my hair.

Tomorrow is Miguel's 16th birthday party. We're having about 20 people over.

This sounds incredibly stressful and anxious.
When do the family leave?
bizi sorry it is so hard right now.
bizi

[RainyDay107]

Insomnia, but overall much better. The Ketamine infusions surpassed my hopes. I have my last one on Monday. It helped tremendously with my PTSD and Agoraphobia, as well as lifting me out of a suicidal depression that almost landed me in the hospital two months ago. I haven’t even had an ideation.

I think the PTSD and Agoraphobia major improvements will “stick.” Hoping the depression doesn’t return or a hellish mixed episode. My mood is more even than it’s been ... in a long time.

Lots of IRL stress happening but my S.O. and daughter are fine. Just....selling my house, closing estate of my stepdad’s....not manic but not sleeping (typical).

Need to keep the stress low. Going to really dig in and work on my toolbox and self-care. If I can continue on like this...my quality of life will be so much better.

Eek...posting this before I jinx it lmao

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by RainyDay107

Insomnia, but overall much better. The Ketamine infusions surpassed my hopes. I have my last one on Monday. It helped tremendously with my PTSD and Agoraphobia, as well as lifting me out of a suicidal depression that almost landed me in the hospital two months ago. I haven’t even had an ideation.

I think the PTSD and Agoraphobia major improvements will “stick.” Hoping the depression doesn’t return or a hellish mixed episode. My mood is more even than it’s been ... in a long time.

Lots of IRL stress happening but my S.O. and daughter are fine. Just....selling my house, closing estate of my stepdad’s....not manic but not sleeping (typical).

Need to keep the stress low. Going to really dig in and work on my toolbox and self-care. If I can continue on like this...my quality of life will be so much better.

Eek...posting this before I jinx it lmao

I am so very happy for you!!!

I so hope the positive effects last!!!

Thanks for the update.

cronic pain really bad today.

can't find me a good position at all.

all I can really focus on right now.

ow

Since med increase, been very ‘normal’....not running around silly, but serious about things. Doc offered to up prozac, but I declined...scared of over riding the Lamictal and going hypo again.

[Victoria'smom]

This sounds incredibly stressful and anxious.
When do the family leave?
bizi sorry it is so hard right now.
bizi

They leave the 16th.

[Sunflower123]

I’ve been at the beach for a week with my daughter and my mom and we’ve had a lovely, relaxing time.

We’ll be here for another week and my sister and her family are coming down today for the week. I have pretty bad panic attacks around my sister because she is hostile and verbally abusive like my father was and it triggers me. I’m the only one in the family who can’t just “shrug it off” and “not give her that much power”.

I thought I could do this for my mother and daughter but my anxiety is off the charts right now and I just don’t know how I’m going to pull this off. I am paralyzed with fear right now.

Sending hugs for those that are struggling.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve been at the beach for a week with my daughter and my mom and we’ve had a lovely, relaxing time.

We’ll be here for another week and my sister and her family are coming down today for the week. I have pretty bad panic attacks around my sister because she is hostile and verbally abusive like my father was and it triggers me. I’m the only one in the family who can’t just “shrug it off” and “not give her that much power”.

I thought I could do this for my mother and daughter but my anxiety is off the charts right now and I just don’t know how I’m going to pull this off. I am paralyzed with fear right now.

Sending hugs for those that are struggling.

I am sorry jenn that you are struggling.
Try to just ignore her. You can do it, you are a strong woman.
So you have extra benzos to take?
(((((HUGS)))))
could leaving early be an option for you?You have already been there a week.
bizi

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry jenn that you are struggling.
Try to just ignore her. You can do it, you are a strong woman.
So you have extra benzos to take?
(((((HUGS)))))
could leaving early be an option for you?You have already been there a week.
bizi

Thank you, bizi, for reminding me that I am a strong woman. I do have extra benzos and leaving early is an option definitely. Thank you again....your response was just what I needed.
(((((HUGS)))))

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve been at the beach for a week with my daughter and my mom and we’ve had a lovely, relaxing time.


We’ll be here for another week and my sister and her family are coming down today for the week. I have pretty bad panic attacks around my sister because she is hostile and verbally abusive like my father was and it triggers me. I’m the only one in the family who can’t just “shrug it off” and “not give her that much power”.


I thought I could do this for my mother and daughter but my anxiety is off the charts right now and I just don’t know how I’m going to pull this off. I am paralyzed with fear right now.


Sending hugs for those that are struggling.

((((Hugs))))

[251turnaround]

I'm a little manic right now I think. I say this because EVERYONE I've interacted with has been asking if I'm okay or if I'm on drugs or staying away saying I'm crazy it's kind of funny haha. I feel like I'm ruining my relationships right now. They hate me now. They're scared. They think I'm on drugs. I'M NOT.

I might be going over the edge. I had a bout of psychosis the other night in front of my friends and it was really embarrassing. I don't think I'll ever be able to explain it. This is messed up. I hate this disorder. I hate how I'm feeling right now. I've been like this for a month on and off and there's absolutely no end in sight. IT HAS NEVER LASTED THIS LONG! What an experience. I feel fantastic, it's like I'm in a show. The recorded announcements at the supermarket felt like they were targeting me for a bit before I defeated that thought. I am still in control. I can handle this. It might've gone out of hand a few months ago but I have it this time. They love me at work. I'm doing really well and maybe that's what set me off. Everything is coming together in my life finally and it pushed me over the edge ironically. I don't care. I feel good. But I WILL crash eventually. But if this can last the summer I will be totally okay with it. Then again, this could also escalate further and the fact that I already went psychotic the other night is rather concerning. I can assure you I will NOT be hospitalized this time. I am finally getting a handf on this thing and I will control it. Nothing will stop me.

Accidentally took my meds twice last night. Too many thoughts not mine in my head.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by 251turnaround

I'm a little manic right now I think. I say this because EVERYONE I've interacted with has been asking if I'm okay or if I'm on drugs or staying away saying I'm crazy it's kind of funny haha. I feel like I'm ruining my relationships right now. They hate me now. They're scared. They think I'm on drugs. I'M NOT.

I might be going over the edge. I had a bout of psychosis the other night in front of my friends and it was really embarrassing. I don't think I'll ever be able to explain it. This is messed up. I hate this disorder. I hate how I'm feeling right now. I've been like this for a month on and off and there's absolutely no end in sight. IT HAS NEVER LASTED THIS LONG! What an experience. I feel fantastic, it's like I'm in a show. The recorded announcements at the supermarket felt like they were targeting me for a bit before I defeated that thought. I am still in control. I can handle this. It might've gone out of hand a few months ago but I have it this time. They love me at work. I'm doing really well and maybe that's what set me off. Everything is coming together in my life finally and it pushed me over the edge ironically. I don't care. I feel good. But I WILL crash eventually. But if this can last the summer I will be totally okay with it. Then again, this could also escalate further and the fact that I already went psychotic the other night is rather concerning. I can assure you I will NOT be hospitalized this time. I am finally getting a handf on this thing and I will control it. Nothing will stop me.

IT sounds like you are out of control...need to check in with your pdoc, maybe an increase in your seroquel???
bizi

[scatterbrained04]

Been feeling weird all day. Almost alternating between paralyzed and overdriven. My son obliterated my living room, and I've been way overeacting because I feel very overwhelmed. Don't know what to do with myself.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hugs to those that want them.

I'm thinking of dropping this antibiotic. It's not helping the original problem (the lump on my neck), and I'm having all kinds of side effects. Not enough to go back to hospital but enough to make life really uncomfortable.

Speaking of side effects--I may have to stop the Artane and Latuda as well. I'm still having both akathisia and TD even without the Arcane. I tried taking half the muscle relaxer but no effect there. It goes away with the full dose but then I'm groggy most of the day. How frustrating. My next appointment with pnurse is in August, but I may try to get in before then. However, my husband also sees her and got his appointment for this month bumped into July. I can only try.

Somebody on Facebook triggered me today on the whole suicide thing. I posted a response on my blog. I had my husband read it so it made sense. Don't know where it'll go but I felt a lot better. I also wrote a poem that I put on the Creative Corner forum. I felt hyper for a while but calmed back down.

Will be feeding the cats soon. Husband is experimenting with pork tenderloin this evening. Will see how it turns out.

Feeling okay at the moment, though my mouth is sore from the TD.

[Scooter9]

A day of eating too much. I'm stuffed and feeling low. Trying to find happiness in food...I know it's not there but I keep on going back to food.

That's the problem - I eat either way too much or way too little and end up on the 'way to little' side most of the time.

I heard from my eldest son today - he moved out a few months ago to work in another country. Makes these lows more bearable.

[WildcatVet]

Feeling excited and hopeful today!!! FINALLY got my prescription for Latuda and I'm really feeling optimistic that this will be the answer. Fingers crossed!

[Wild Coyote]

My niece came by today!
She's so cute.
We have such a good time together!

Love to All!


WC

[251turnaround]

Originally Posted by bizi

IT sounds like you are out of control...need to check in with your pdoc, maybe an increase in your seroquel???
bizi

I feel totally in control at the moment. I have a lot of things on my mind, it's racing and so am I behind the wheel HA (only partly true). I know I say this a lot, but what if this is just the manifestations of a really good mood? I don't know. I mean it wouldn't explain the psychotic stuff the other night but I don't know what to call this if it isn't some form of mania. I just can't recognize it as such. I'm buzzing but only part of the time. Right now I feel totally normal. A little pressured to talk but again what if I'm actually stable? Impossible, but maybe?

I don't want to increase my meds because the side effects kind of stink. Seroquel freaks me out at night. I only take it when I'm REALLY actually manic. Not for simple energy boosts like recently. It's escalating, yes, but this is still under control and I will see my therapist on Wednesday and she'll be the judge as to whether or not I'm stable.

Thanks for your concern, though!

[Blueberrybook]

I think I found the source of my balance problems is coming from Protonix,a med I don't have listed below, a proton pump inhibitor I was given for my stomach after suffering a perforated ulcer on Valentine's Day (worst Valentine's Day EVER!). At my last appointment with the gastroenterologist (after he had done an upper endoscopy & biopsy results came in, all of which looked good), he said I could continue to take it or discontinue it; it was my decision. I figured I'd finish out the bottle and then stop taking it. After reading about the side effects, it seems once you are on that med for longer than 3 months, some people develop more severe side effects. It has been just over the 3 month mark for me. Also curious is that all my falls happened in the morning, often before taking my morning psych meds because Protonix is to be taken on an empty stomach, so I'm discontinuing that and see if it helps with my balance issues.

This morning, I had lots of energy. I went for an 8 mile walk. But I tired out around noon, took a 2 hour nap. Now, I'm still trying to wake up. I might need to make a cup of coffee or something. I'm trying to get up the energy to actually cook chili for dinner as I planned versus popping something frozen in the oven. I actually really hate cooking, and it is not made easier by the fact that my daughter (10 yr. old) has sensory issues. Now, she will eat healthy foods, no problem. The thing is she will not eat mixed foods, seasoned foods, things like sandwiches, hamburgers, etc. I have to basically disassemble the meal as I cook it for her liking or just make her something different. Interestingly enough, this chili recipe (from a cheapo cookbook my mom had when I was growing up), she will eat assembled (it is not super spicy). And that is the only food she will eat combined. I have no idea why.

[Pookyl]

2 weeks since hospitalisation.

It’s been a rough week. Not so much bipolar(I think), more just general family shyte dramas.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

2 weeks since hospitalisation.

It’s been a rough week. Not so much bipolar(I think), more just general family shyte dramas.

It is hard being hospitalized then come back home to the same stressors.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[pirilin]

Alive and pissing off everybody I can. Reversed the roles.