anxious about upcoming appointments

Ugh, I woke up early and anxious this morning. First, I cannot go jogging because I have to get my husband up for work at 5:00 AM. He takes at least an hour in the bathroom if not more. If I use the shower in the other bathroom, I risk waking my daughter who needs every minute of sleep she can get as she has been having trouble going to bed & sleep earlier after summer (we should have worked on that before the end of summer, hard though since she & my husband are night owls and I am not). There is no time to run or exercise after dropping my daughter off at school because I have the pdoc appt. I moved up even though now I'm doubting myself and feeling like I'm being attention seeking about this appointment. I'm not sure what are the relevant points to bring up with the pdoc. He will listen, but he is quick & efficient, so it's easy to forget. Maybe a list, but what things to tell/ask him?

And what do I tell/ask the PCP? She is not as quick as the pdoc (I think he just processes everything you say super fast) and more personable. My husband & I actually followed her from her old practice to her new one (it also happened to be closer to our house). Every time someone asks for a physician referral on Nextdoor, her name is repeated all the time. I don't think it was that way when we first started seeing her; maybe she was just starting out then. Between both practices, I have seen her for 14 years, and I was pretty memorable from fainting with blood draws at the old practice, one time collapsing in the waiting room afterwards, and hitting my face on end tables & such, really getting tons of surface wounds. The new practice sends me to a phlebotomist, and they tend to do better at drawing blood than nurses (I have tricky small veins that roll), and I hate medical things like that, definitely don't watch them. I nearly passed out in health class in middle school when we had to watch an up close video of a man getting some type of eye surgery close up.

What do I tell and ask the PCP? Just that I've lost 7 lb. since June, and that my BMI is low. Possible trigger for those of you with EDs : Also, the practice is starting up a multi-specialty clinic across the street, and they are adding more services to it, like my rheumatologist, endocrinology, internal medicine, etc., so you don't have to stray far (usually to find a new doctor in a specialty area) although I heard the new pdoc they hired sucks from online reviews, so I avoided scheduling with him.

Now I'm having 2nd thoughts and thinking I shouldn't have scheduled thos appts. at all, that I don't need them. I know it won't wast money; since I hit the deductible, the insurance covers my doctor expenses 100%, until January. Still, I feel silly scheduling these appointments now.

Hi cln,

I have some current limitations and cannot write much right now.
Yet, I want you to know I am thinking of you and I hope your appointments go well.

WC

I think you should go.
You may need to ask for an EKG. Blood work.
What helps you get out of your ED?
Over eating is such an issue for me, I am sorry you are the opposite.
I realize it takes a long time to gain weight.
The running is not helping in that department.
Is that what you struggle with the most?
bizi

Hello, while I’m not familiar with EDs, I certainly support you for getting assistance for it. I think the pdoc appt is warranted under the circumstances...don’t you? My wife is5’6” and 100 pounds for much of her life. Now that she has gotten older, she has put on weight and happier for it I 🤔 Anyway I hope you get the answers you are looking for.

Please take the following as concern for you. You do not have time for exercise? This is a good thing. You do not know what to bring up with your pdoc? How about your ED and the effect it has continued to have on you. Also, there is the substantial stress you are experiencing due to money matters. This is probably not helping you with your ED. What about your dissociation? You think you need blood tests to find out why you are at such a low weight? I guess this will not hurt, and something may show up. IMO you are at your low weight because you have been running sometimes ten miles in one day.

You try so hard to do the right thing in your family’s lives. Maybe some of this same effort should be placed on your own life. IMO you absolutely cannot lose any more weight. You are a smart lady, so you will figure this out. I am just trying to help you along.

It sounds like you have been struggling with the ED and overexercising more than usual recently, and I think it would be a good idea to bring that up with your pdoc and PCP. Those EDs can be tricky and much better to get help for it sooner than later. You deserve help and sounds like you need it. Take care.

This would of been a better way for me to say the things I did.

For some months I've read your posts about your awareness of having an ED. You frequently tell us your weight and how low it is as though you're casually mentioning the information. I'm wondering, because you have an ED, if you're actually immersing yourself in the dysfunctional satisfaction of how low your weight is by letting your post readers know about your low weight. I'm asserting this because you are still obsessed with exercise that is excessive, and so on. You seem to be spinning your wheels.

I would find it easier to believe that you truly want to go in the direction of recovery when you stop telling us stories about your life and weight loss, and start telling us of genuine steps you're taking toward recovery.

I for one understood the well meaning thoughts and concerns you mentioned in your post.

Pdoc says to come back in a week. He prescribed some low dose Seroquel (25 mg) for long lasting panic attacks, so we’ll see.

PCP is sending me for blood work, not that we don’t know why I am losing weight ( I was honest with her). The blood work is to check for abnormalities since the weight loss. She did send in a social worker who gave me 2 places to contact about mortgage relief. I will call them either later today or tomorrow, probably tomorrow because I need proof of hubby’s income, and I am not sure where he has stuff like that as his pay is direct deposit. I can see the bank deposits, but what gets deposited is less than his on paper income, and I don’t know if that makes a difference.

Texas is a hard state to get help in. I can’t get disability because I haven’t worked enough. Our combined income puts us too much above poverty level for me to get disability that way even though both my pdoc and PCP believe I can’t work due to psych issues. Ugh, I wish there were a social worker or someone to help us. The financial issues make the stress worse, which makes everything - bipolar, panic disorder, ED so much wosres. It is beyond frustrating.

Could you call your insurance and ask if they have care coordinator? look up if Catholic charities in your area has a case manager.

I hope this is the right thread to be posting. I haven't posted in so long. I think its been longer than a month. I finally have someone that I can spend time with. One of my coworkers. He is really a nice person. I feel a little dismayed that I made a friend now though. I'm 30 yrs old. Its not that I don't want friends; Its just that I feel like a failure for making friends at 30 years old. I have to look at it in a positive way though. At least I have a positive person to turn to. We share some interest too which is good. He has gotten me into some other things. Like trading card games and even want to try Runescape. He also wants to introduce me to his friends which did make me a little nervous in the beginning, but I don't think about it now.

I wish I could make another friend IRL. The only good friend I made was in college, just accidentally, a girl I sat next to in a required math course for the both of us. We were good friends all through college and probably still would be if she lived nearby, but she got married after doing an internship in New England and now works as a vet in Connecticut, so seeing her is a rarity. The only other friends I consider I have IRL are my 2 sisters, both younger than I, but the age gap makes no difference now. One is in driving distance, but she has 3 girls age 7 & under; the other lives near Dallas (Plano, requiring a drive through Dallas first, & a hot area in Texas for new jobs), anywhere from a 4-6 drive from Houston, depending on traffic, accident, and road construction, especially in the Houston and Dallas areas as urban sprawl continues from both cities. Needless to say, I don't see that sister often because of the drive.

But I see my sisters as built-in friends, people I always knew growing up, who understand growing up under a verbally & physically abusive father (though getting much better as he ages). I never had to go out of my way to get to know them.

Perhaps you chose to ignore my question, or don't feel comfortable replying to it. If so, that's understandable. I am still wondering, though.

As for SSI/SSDI, this is from a website about the SSI/SSDI programs:

The main difference between Social Security Disability (SSDI) and Supplemental Security Income (SSI) is the fact that SSDI is available to workers who have accumulated a sufficient number of work credits, while SSI disability benefits are available to low-income individuals who have either never worked or who haven't earned enough work credits to qualify for SSDI.

While many people don't distinguish between SSI (Supplemental Security Income) and SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance), they are two completely different governmental programs. While both programs are overseen and managed by the Social Security Administration, and medical eligibility for disability is determined in the same manner for both programs, there are distinct differences between the two programs.

Perhaps it seems like an unfair system, but the fact according to the government is that you're low-income or you aren't. If you aren't, there's not much choice but to work within the finances you have. If, however, you are low-income you can apply for a number of government programs and get help for medical care, food, housing, and so on.

My friends husband was on SSI , any time she worked an extra shift she had to report and some months they didn’t receive his benefit , because of her income , so it would also apply for you , your husbands income plays into your benefit .. SSI only pays like 700 a month I think , something like that.

This is all about SSI. I have SSDI because of working all my life.

Laurie posted great info about it. Don’t know if any of it applies to you.

I've learned from my pdoc not to sweat the small stuff. It all works out in the end really. I'm trying to not talk about my issues with him as much too. He says I can't let go of that and he is right in someways. I should be happy that I have someone to spend time with. My brother-in-law and his kids haven't found a place yet and I am little annoyed at that. I should not have to deal with his kids angst.