[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Waiting for what? You mean waiting 10 years or waiting for $$$?

Lol no. The second interviewer didnt know i was there so the first one had to go get her!

It turned out ok. I think i gave an accurate impression of my bipolar brain- when depressed. I answered yes to all those question about depression. Well mostly. And now i know that my bad memory is due to bipolar not my age or anything else. (Lots of memory tests.) And yet again i have a migrain. Trying eating lunch to fix it.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Ears are burning ... hope it doesn’t lead to more , I can’t have the plague ! Hubby must stay healthy.

I did virtually nothing today .... odd for me

Hugs all the way around.

Oh no! I hope you are okay!


WC

[Moreta]

Man I'm tired. Cooked twice today. I guess today was a cooking sort of day. For breakfast i made eggs, bacon, potatoes, and onions. For dinner I made sweet chili chicken and potato salad. Maybe I eat too many potatoes. Naaaah.

[Moose72]

Living With Bipolar Disorder | Prechter Program | Michigan Medicine | University of Michigan

This is the study im in.

[MsSchadenfreude]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Bought some coloring books. Somehow I got free 1 day shipping from Amazon for all of them...? So I guess they're all coming tomorrow.

Pretty excited! Just in time for the weekend. (USPS comes at 10am.)

I would bring my coloring books to work to color them during lunch breaks, except... everyone would probably think I'm a 5 year old. lol. But I do need to take breaks instead of working so hard for so long, so I'll probably start bringing my Kindle. I've always thought about bringing the Kindle, but never have done it.

Otherwise, not so agitated today! Yay! Pretty hyper, but I'm all good. Not mania or anything. I'm just hyper af and waking up every hour at night. But I'm still getting like 9 hrs of sleep if you take into account the waking up.

I hope everyone else has a good day.

Nice! Did you order the one I linked you to?
Bringing a Kindle is a good idea for a work break, or any book in general!

[MsSchadenfreude]

I've been high energy over the past few days, but this evening, I'm telling/allowing myself to relaaaxxxx. No work tomorrow!

So I'll open up about one of my struggles. Intrusive thoughts. Out of nowhere, something absolutely devastating takes over my thoughts, such as getting hit by a train, or choking to death, and then in a flash, I can see all the after effects if it happened...the healthcare responders trying to revive me, and the way my family would be handling things and living without me.

I was able to stop the thoughts pretty well earlier today at work. I was working on a project, and had plenty of distraction, and suddenly, I imagined choking to death by aspiration. I am puzzled as to why this would happen randomly while I was in the MIDDLE of working and thinking of so many other things.

I have a mind that fixates on things. I have fast thoughts, and a detailed memory. I can get obsessed with researching a topic and learning everything about it, for weeks. One of the reasons the pdoc had mentioned trying an antipsychotic, low dose, is to help with the things I'm sharing. I only took Abilify for one month, and due to that experience, I am not wanting to take anything else other than Lamictal right now.

Back to the gorey thoughts: I drive over train tracks on my way to work everyday. A lot of times I get a physical feeling from anxiety as I go over them. As I approach them, I slow down and look because I don't trust the automatic lights and guardrails to come down. I picture the very gorey details of someone getting hit by a train. My pdoc has said that I have PTSD symptoms from the very tragic things I've dealt with when I worked in a trauma center, and also from another thing I experienced which I don't want to share at this time.

I wish I could extract the visuals from my head. The things I've seen. And the things I imagine.

[downandlonely]

Have you tried therapy to deal with the trauma? I think there are some therapeutic techniques for dealing with PTSD. I don't have it though, so I don't know much about it.

[MsSchadenfreude]

The last counselor I went to, recommended EMDR, and she was certified in it. I did that for a few sessions, but I just wasn't totally feeling comfortable with it. I remember feeling pressured to say something while she was doing this to me.

It did help a little with the issue of emotional trauma, abandonment/trust issue that I won't go into. Maybe I should try again, with the intention set to focus on only the morbid images. I think when I did it before, my mind was all over the place without making a specific goal.

[~Christina]

Too much running today.

Had to get tires checked , was in a panic if I needed 2 new ones , nope brakes and rotors , much cheaper , of course my husband will do this

Grocery shopping ! It always makes me cranky to say the least. 2 grocery stores in one day , ugh!

I didn’t get to clean my house today but I’m trying not to stress ( I clean daily) I keep a very clean home , thank you OCD.

Tomorrow is cut up and portion out all the meat to freeze.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I got a diagnosis for my cat finally. It means he needs to be on a prescription diet that costs a small fortune or a med that costs $100/month or more since it costs more to get in a liquid. I'll get used to it I guess but it is just so frustrating. Every time it seems like money should start to get easier something happens that makes it harder.

I have one thing I really want to do and that is pay my therapist at least a little bit for my sessions which he hasn't profited from in years. It seemed like I was at the place that should happen and then my cat got sick and my vet bills have been immense and I'm needing to pay more on my hospital bill from my surgery in February because the balance isn't coming down with my pdoc's bill added each month. I hate that I can't pay my therapist even though he says he is ok with it. And until I get this sorted out I just can't.

I think I'm heading for some depression anyway. Time to pull out the SAD lamp. I will do what my cat needs, it's that or he'll die of infection eventually, but I just never thought my 1 year old cat would have a serious health problem. I lost 2 senior cats 2 years ago and they had all sorts of health problems; I was expecting some drama free years before these 2 had issues.

I'm glad it isn't something fatal. I've been afraid of that. But more than double the food budget.....so difficult. And it's not like things are going to be easy monetarily for a while anyway; first I have to buy fall clothes, a fall coat and a winter coat because of weight loss (good problem but not cheap) and then it will be Christmas shopping. I have some of that done but lots to go.

Too much.....But at least we know what is wrong!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I got a diagnosis for my cat finally. It means he needs to be on a prescription diet that costs a small fortune or a med that costs $100/month or more since it costs more to get in a liquid. I'll get used to it I guess but it is just so frustrating. Every time it seems like money should start to get easier something happens that makes it harder.

I have one thing I really want to do and that is pay my therapist at least a little bit for my sessions which he hasn't profited from in years. It seemed like I was at the place that should happen and then my cat got sick and my vet bills have been immense and I'm needing to pay more on my hospital bill from my surgery in February because the balance isn't coming down with my pdoc's bill added each month. I hate that I can't pay my therapist even though he says he is ok with it. And until I get this sorted out I just can't.

I think I'm heading for some depression anyway. Time to pull out the SAD lamp. I will do what my cat needs, it's that or he'll die of infection eventually, but I just never thought my 1 year old cat would have a serious health problem. I lost 2 senior cats 2 years ago and they had all sorts of health problems; I was expecting some drama free years before these 2 had issues.

I'm glad it isn't something fatal. I've been afraid of that. But more than double the food budget.....so difficult. And it's not like things are going to be easy monetarily for a while anyway; first I have to buy fall clothes, a fall coat and a winter coat because of weight loss (good problem but not cheap) and then it will be Christmas shopping. I have some of that done but lots to go.

Too much.....But at least we know what is wrong!

I am glad you have figured out the problem; yet, so sorry it means financial hardship continues.

Thinking of you and of Charlie.

WC

[~Christina]

Pizza for dinner is fantastic.

The burned roof of my mouth not so much.

[yellow_fleurs]

Went swing dancing with a friend tonight. It was pretty fun. I wasn't 100% in the mood to be out, but I still couldn't stop smiling while dancing. Trying to stay tough as I deal with some stuff in my life still. I hope I end up stronger for it. I try to remind myself how much harder other stuff is that people deal with to put in in perspective. Have stayed mostly calm about it so far.

[bizi]

Saw the movie "A star is born" it was very good.
bizi

Question: Does the existence of a Bipolar Check In Thread imply that the bipolarized are expected or required to check into this thread before making trouble elsewhere in the forum? What are the consequences of failing to check in? I've already screwed this up.

This is Frank Crankshaft, reminding you that if you don't like the messenger, you're not going to like the message.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Frank Crankshaft

Question: Does the existence of a Bipolar Check In Thread imply that the bipolarized are expected or required to check into this thread before making trouble elsewhere in the forum? What are the consequences of failing to check in? I've already screwed this up.

This is Frank Crankshaft, reminding you that if you don't like the messenger, you're not going to like the message.

Nope, you can post away anywhere you'd like. This thread is just to update on your day if you want to do that.

[VerMOZZica]

Yesterday I went to a really cool concert with my nieces and my younger sister. We had a really good time and I am totally grateful that I got to go. I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow because I'm so tired because I didn't get any sleep last night. Hope you all have wonderful weekend !!!

My first day on Wellbutrin went fine. I didn't get any side-effects. No agitation or headaches. No improvement but it will take four to six weeks to be effective so i must be patient.

in the words of next to normal, " it's just another day"

seriously.. thats's all it is. nothing to really say about today

yesterday I didn't really manage to accomplish much, not even helping my friend with her grief

[hopeless2015]

Still feeling like **** and I'm a total ***** right now. My poor husband...

I'm running out of food in my apartment, but I don't want to spend more money on food. I have tons of cereal and 1 bag of candy. That's it. Oh well. I guess I'm looking at cereal for the next month or so, until I finish them all.

At least my workplace offers free bagels and those are pretty good. So I'll have something different to look forward to when I get to work in the mornings.

Well, I do have veggies in the freezer now that I think of it, but who wants veggies when there is junk food to be had.

Anyway, mood is pretty good. Slept a lot, but still feeling good. I'm hoping to make more progress on cleaning my apartment, as long as I don't get agitated again. Agitation seems almost inevitable these days.

[zapatoes]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm running out of food in my apartment, but I don't want to spend more money on food. I have tons of cereal and 1 bag of candy. That's it. Oh well. I guess I'm looking at cereal for the next month or so, until I finish them all.

At least my workplace offers free bagels and those are pretty good. So I'll have something different to look forward to when I get to work in the mornings.

Well, I do have veggies in the freezer now that I think of it, but who wants veggies when there is junk food to be had.

Anyway, mood is pretty good. Slept a lot, but still feeling good. I'm hoping to make more progress on cleaning my apartment, as long as I don't get agitated again. Agitation seems almost inevitable these days.

Definitely advise getting some groceries, not good to just eat cereal and candy. Add some protein and try a variety of foods for best results.

[downandlonely]

Can you not afford food? You might want to look into a food bank. And you can apply for food stamps.

[Moose72]

Went to the saturday clinic this morning about the migraine id had for 2 days going on 3. Regular script not taking it al away. I had a guy nurse who gave me the shot- in my butt! Didnt hurt like he said it would. Missed judo because you know doctor appointments they go long. But im going to saturday lunch and that should be fun- i hope Devyn shows up. She was being wishy washy.

[yellow_fleurs]

Feeling pretty good. In fact pretty giddy and energized. Some irritability seems to be building. I will just keep an eye on it, but mostly on the good side of normal mood for me. So I will take it! Going to clean the this apartment and work on some other things today. Had a relaxing acupuncture session and my back feels less tight and painful. If I can get that under control and I can get back into exercise that would be so great. Sending kind thoughts.