Originally Posted by Innerzone

Had my last appointment with my T today. It was sad, because I really like her, but also good because of ending on such a triumphant note. Some major positive motion over this past year, the biggest being since our last meeting(!) And she even gave me a little gift. I was really touched.

Oh to be so lucky the next one! (T is taking a new job, so yet to see who is next.)

I hope you get someone nice and helpful.

It is sad when we lose our T's sometimes. The gift sounds wonderful!

Not much going on besides severe agitation and wanting to destroy everything around me.

Made some progress at work yesterday, so that's good. But there's an issue with one of the computers still because that guy ruined it.

I just wish I weren't so agitated today. I'm going to try to read my Kindle as a distraction. Maybe that'll help? I guess worst case I'll call the therapist on call at my therapy office if I'm starting to destroy things again. I guess my lamictal stopped working after 3 years, because I'm back to how I was in university before I was medicated.

I'm sure a lot of you have been through this type of situation, where meds just stop working one day. I feel your pain.

I hope everyone else's day goes smoothly.

[yellow_fleurs]

Went to a new acupuncturist today. Acupuncture has helped me in the past, and I found someone who has some really good reviews. It seems to especially help me with the hormone issues and joint pain. I just wish it was covered by insurance, because I really cannot afford it as frequently as they think I should go to get the most benefit. I understand why it is not, but it's frustrating, especially since I had to drop a lot of unexpected money on fixing my car (brake lines ruptured and all my brake fluid leaked out--scary stuff!). I will pay my bills, make sure I budget carefully, and try to make my health a priority as that is all I can do at the moment. Trying to find a therapist that can see me after work and found a clinic, but the intake person won't call me back.

I feel a little apprehensive about finding the right therapist, but have decided that I need to be in control of the situation and honest with my needs and if someone isn't the right fit go elsewhere. In the past I have felt like I wasn't trying hard enough if it wasn't working or if I wasn't comfortable telling them something, but I think it is important that it is the right therapist and methods for it to work.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Went to a new acupuncturist today. Acupuncture has helped me in the past, and I found someone who has some really good reviews. It seems to especially help me with the hormone issues and joint pain. I just wish it was covered by insurance, because I really cannot afford it as frequently as they think I should go to get the most benefit. I understand why it is not, but it's frustrating, especially since I had to drop a lot of unexpected money on fixing my car (brake lines ruptured and all my brake fluid leaked out--scary stuff!). I will pay my bills, make sure I budget carefully, and try to make my health a priority as that is all I can do at the moment. Trying to find a therapist that can see me after work and found a clinic, but the intake person won't call me back.

I feel a little apprehensive about finding the right therapist, but have decided that I need to be in control of the situation and honest with my needs and if someone isn't the right fit go elsewhere. In the past I have felt like I wasn't trying hard enough if it wasn't working or if I wasn't comfortable telling them something, but I think it is important that it is the right therapist and methods for it to work.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

Finding a good therapist is hard. I hope you hear back soon.

I've had acupuncture in the past. If I had extra money, I'd do it again, though since I ran out my insurance deductible, it covers alternative medicine like acupuncture, chiropractor 80%. I had it maybe 5 years or so ago for back pain in my SI area (got it during pregnancy & it never really went away 100%) & also restless leg syndrome. It seemed to help and was relaxing too; I remember thinking it was as calming for me as taking Xanax or getting a massage. There is definitely something to be said for it.

[Wild Coyote]

I am very triggered with the recent headlines in the news, regarding sexual assaults, etc. I've gone through some terrible times with very unfair investigations, while seeking justice.


WC

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Not much going on besides severe agitation and wanting to destroy everything around me.

Made some progress at work yesterday, so that's good. But there's an issue with one of the computers still because that guy ruined it.

I just wish I weren't so agitated today. I'm going to try to read my Kindle as a distraction. Maybe that'll help? I guess worst case I'll call the therapist on call at my therapy office if I'm starting to destroy things again. I guess my lamictal stopped working after 3 years, because I'm back to how I was in university before I was medicated.

I'm sure a lot of you have been through this type of situation, where meds just stop working one day. I feel your pain.

I hope everyone else's day goes smoothly.

I'm so sorry about the agitation. I had quite a bit of that yesterday, and it sucked. Yeah, I've had meds stop working too, less for anxiety and more for sleep though I am sure too little sleep does not help with anxeity & panic disorder.

Can you get in to see your pdoc soon about trying a different med or med combo?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Went to a new acupuncturist today. Acupuncture has helped me in the past, and I found someone who has some really good reviews. It seems to especially help me with the hormone issues and joint pain. I just wish it was covered by insurance, because I really cannot afford it as frequently as they think I should go to get the most benefit. I understand why it is not, but it's frustrating, especially since I had to drop a lot of unexpected money on fixing my car (brake lines ruptured and all my brake fluid leaked out--scary stuff!). I will pay my bills, make sure I budget carefully, and try to make my health a priority as that is all I can do at the moment. Trying to find a therapist that can see me after work and found a clinic, but the intake person won't call me back.

I feel a little apprehensive about finding the right therapist, but have decided that I need to be in control of the situation and honest with my needs and if someone isn't the right fit go elsewhere. In the past I have felt like I wasn't trying hard enough if it wasn't working or if I wasn't comfortable telling them something, but I think it is important that it is the right therapist and methods for it to work.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

It's great that acupuncture helps you!
I hope you find a compatible therapist.


WC

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am very triggered with the recent headlines in the news, regarding sexual assaults, etc. I've gone through some terrible times with very unfair investigations, while seeking justice.


WC

So sorry. I have been through that too. I hope you start to feel better and are able to get your mind off it. I had a an assistant DA refuse to prosecute because it came down to my word against his, and I guess he felt the odds of a win were too low, and he was in place to move up to full DA being as the acting DA was extremely ill with cancer (did die not long after that)

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

It finally occurred to me to get on an anti-depressant. I've been feeling so desperate lately with a very unhealthy lifestyle of oversleeping and overeating and inactivity. I feel a little better knowing i have a plan to improve things. Now just to wait for Monday to call in for an appointment. I figure, sheesh, i do have bipolar -- i might as well try all the treatment options that are available to me. Here's to feeling better!

Wildflower: Thanks for the support! I have considered meetups but like you i have too much anxiety to pursue them. Hopefully that'll change with better meds.

It has helped me getting on an AD tough I've been feeling low now that the pdoc reduced the Wellbutrin. I don't know. Cymbalta helped me a lot in the past; I might ask if I can try that one again.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

You type so well with such a burn

I hope it fully heals soon , burns are painful for sure

It's because I'm on an Ipad & using just my index finger The burn is in my palm area and very near my thumb. It takes awhile though for long posts. The metal tray I used at the time was flat, one end (the one toward the right) raised. Finally healing enough that Tylenol actually is helping a bit, and I am in less pain & able to type again, though not as fast as before. I tend to be a fast typist. I even did a typing competition thing in high school (suggested by the typing teacher), and that was on electric typewriters.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by IronButterflyWings

This Monday I'm finally able to start my psych medications again. I haven't been able to use them because of my surgery. Since I'm starting to recover enough, I'm allowed to take them again.

Little nervous about getting back on them, just because it's hard for me to remember to take them. SO I could really use positive vibes to remember them so I don't miss doses.

(And pill boxes can't work since they are in liquid form, and I have several alarms going off for the alarms.)

I hope it helps.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Had my last appointment with my T today. It was sad, because I really like her, but also good because of ending on such a triumphant note. Some major positive motion over this past year, the biggest being since our last meeting(!) And she even gave me a little gift. I was really touched.

Oh to be so lucky the next one! (T is taking a new job, so yet to see who is next.)

I hope the new T is good. Best of luck to you.

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I'm so sorry about the agitation. I had quite a bit of that yesterday, and it sucked. Yeah, I've had meds stop working too, less for anxiety and more for sleep though I am sure too little sleep does not help with anxeity & panic disorder.

Can you get in to see your pdoc soon about trying a different med or med combo?

I see my pdoc on October 18th.

The problem is that I don't want to try Lithium, Tegretol, or Depakote because of the (potential) side effects that I've read. I'm scared of my liver going toxic, I'm scared of losing hair, I'm scared of having shaky hands, I'm scared of confusion, etc.. I'd rather have no mood stabilizer than go on any of those 3.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am very triggered with the recent headlines in the news, regarding sexual assaults, etc. I've gone through some terrible times with very unfair investigations, while seeking justice.





WC

I’m right there with you

Mass

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m right there with you

Mass

Thank you!

WC

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I see my pdoc on October 18th.


The problem is that I don't want to try Lithium, Tegretol, or Depakote because of the (potential) side effects that I've read. I'm scared of my liver going toxic, I'm scared of losing hair, I'm scared of having shaky hands, I'm scared of confusion, etc.. I'd rather have no mood stabilizer than go on any of those 3.

I don’t blame you about those 3 , I went borderline toxic on Lithium once was horrible and scary... I like my liver, kidneys and thyroid to much to ever take the risk again.

I’m on Tapatalk so I don’t know if your current meds are listed.. isn’t is hell being basically a lab rat ! Doctors just flinging meds at us and seeing what might stick. Disgusts me

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I see my pdoc on October 18th.

The problem is that I don't want to try Lithium, Tegretol, or Depakote because of the (potential) side effects that I've read. I'm scared of my liver going toxic, I'm scared of losing hair, I'm scared of having shaky hands, I'm scared of confusion, etc.. I'd rather have no mood stabilizer than go on any of those 3.

The alternatives are not great!

I have had some good luck with Depakote in the past. My pdoc says she has never had a patient have the potential liver effects on Depakote. Of course, the potential is still there, theoretically.

Tegretol kind of scares me. The blood dyscrasias are a potential problem. I also get trouble with breathing (tight chest) with Tegretol.

Lithium. My pdoc reports every patient she has put on lithium has become toxic on it, sooner or later. I had tried it many years ago. I was bloated and had severe GI issues, felt like crap, had a severe tremor.

I am hoping for better alternatives -- soon!

If Lamictal does not work for me, I'll also be looking at alternatives.


WC

[~Christina]

My clean fest of yesterday has slapped me silly today .... but that’s ok everything from floor to ceiling is clean.

I love to clean that’s why I wash sheets every 2 days and same with towels , hubby thinks I should slow down and it’s not necessary but who doest love clean fresh sheets ??

Sleep is going downhill seems like losing an hour or more each night so I’ll just monitor my mood closer.

Anyone have any happy weekend plans ?

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I don’t blame you about those 3 , I went borderline toxic on Lithium once was horrible and scary... I like my liver, kidneys and thyroid to much to ever take the risk again.

I’m on Tapatalk so I don’t know if your current meds are listed.. isn’t is hell being basically a lab rat ! Doctors just flinging meds at us and seeing what might stick. Disgusts me

No, I don't have my current meds listed, but...

Rexulti (4mg), Ritalin LA (40mg), Lexapro (5mg), Lamictal (400mg), and (PRN) Klonopin (1mg). I guess 5 meds isn't too bad.

I'm just glad I'm not on any meds with nasty side effects, because then I'd have to take side effect meds. I do get upset seeing people on this forum needing to have side effect meds. We should never have to deal with side effects like that.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

The alternatives are not great!

I have had some good luck with Depakote in the past. My pdoc says she has never had a patient have the potential liver effects on Depakote. Of course, the potential is still there, theoretically.

Tegretol kind of scares me. The blood dyscrasias are a potential problem. I also get trouble with breathing (tight chest) with Tegretol.

Lithium. My pdoc reports every patient she has put on lithium has become toxic on it, sooner or later. I had tried it many years ago. I was bloated and had severe GI issues, felt like crap, had a severe tremor.

I am hoping for better alternatives -- soon!

If Lamictal does not work for me, I'll also be looking at alternatives.


WC

Depakote hair loss scares me the most. That's what holds me back from even trying it. I've seen so many people on this forum having hair loss that I don't want to risk it. I know that's not the most "awful" side effect, but it'd feel... embarrassing, as I can imagine you'd have some bald patches, but not your entire head being bald.

I don't know much about Tegretol, but those side effects sound scary!

And yep, the symptoms you described on Lithium are EXACTLY why I don't want it.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Depakote hair loss scares me the most. That's what holds me back from even trying it. I've seen so many people on this forum having hair loss that I don't want to risk it. I know that's not the most "awful" side effect, but it'd feel... embarrassing, as I can imagine you'd have some bald patches, but not your entire head being bald.

I don't know much about Tegretol, but those side effects sound scary!

And yep, the symptoms you described on Lithium are EXACTLY why I don't want it.

FWIW : I had zero hair loss from Depakote. I did gain some weight; yet, not as much as I have gained on Abilify.

I have a love-hate relationship with Depakote. Sometimes, I will beg for a script, depending on my status at the time. For some reason, I tolerate the Depakote sprinkles better than the other forms.

I have recently read that, in some cases, Lamictal is prescribed at 600 mg/day. You may have read this, too?


WC

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

No, I don't have my current meds listed, but...


Rexulti (4mg), Ritalin LA (40mg), Lexapro (5mg), Lamictal (400mg), and (PRN) Klonopin (1mg). I guess 5 meds isn't too bad.


I'm just glad I'm not on any meds with nasty side effects, because then I'd have to take side effect meds. I do get upset seeing people on this forum needing to have side effect meds. We should never have to deal with side effects like that.

Only thing that sticks out to me is Lexapro , I took it before.... I was a rage monster on it.

Are you taking your Klonopin more regular to hold off some of the hell !?

I agree I won’t take a Med that I have to take another one to allow me the first.

I take Latuda and it has really helped not 100% but it calms me down a lot I think.

I have no experience with Rexuli... is that a recent change for you ?

[Nammu]

Been on all three of those meds and had side effects with all three plus the lamictal, won't take that one any more. Have great results from the laudta.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Only thing that sticks out to me is Lexapro , I took it before.... I was a rage monster on it.

Are you taking your Klonopin more regular to hold off some of the hell !?

I agree I won’t take a Med that I have to take another one to allow me the first.

I take Latuda and it has really helped not 100% but it calms me down a lot I think.

I have no experience with Rexuli... is that a recent change for you ?

Latuda gave me energy for a couple of months and then... nothing.


WC

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Latuda gave me energy for a couple of months and then... nothing.




WC

Sucks when a good meds comes out the gate working great then falls down.... breaks a leg and it’s piled on the heap of other meds that failed