[yellow_fleurs]

Went to work early so I could leave in good time to vote. Got lucky that there was hardly any line!

My head and thoughts are spinning and I am not feeling great. Decided to go back with trying the light box again. I am not sure how I feel about the fact that my therapist is pretty busy and just schedules appointment to appointment. It's about every 2 (or more) weeks that I see her so far. She asked me lots of questions about my childhood last session and now I am overthinking what we discussed haha. I have assignments to practice deep breathing and track my moods. I have not been super successful but will keep trying.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m watching for hypomania. I feel really good but I also have good life circumstances for once. My warning signs are less sleep and my appetite tanking. Last night I didn’t fall asleep until midnight but I also didn’t hop out of bed when the alarm went off and I slept through the night. Today I made it through the day without coffee on my own which MIGHT be of concern or maybe my body is just getting used to working. I ate lunch but usually I’m hungry for a snack after work and I wasn’t today. I’m hungry now but nothing seems appetizing which is what it’s like when I’m hypo. I also blasted my music in my car and completely rocked out lol which I do a lot when hypo. However I didn’t drive like an a-hole. I’m not wishing to drink. I want to go out but not drink.

So yeah, I’ll keep an eye on it. I see pdoc on the 27th so if it does get bad I’m only a couple of weeks away from seeing her. I’m not really worried about the hypo as I don’t get fully manic so I don’t get crazy and ruin my life (except I do get paranoid) but the crash terrifies me. I can’t fall into severe depression again. It will ruin my life. So if I do get hypo I’ll ask to raise the depakote.

I think I’m fine though. Just truly happy for the first time in a long time

[TheSeaCat]

I voted; I went with with the people with a care about mental illness. My state though is so bad I don't know what can help it.

I'm still so exhausted, but I am loving this job; I got to do my first referral from start to finish. Did lunch with the boyfriend, I will be glad when he finally gets a branch manager position instead of all of this traveling from location to location. Granted I will be glad when my training is over and I can be back to my own office.

We also got a nice stack of medical bills from the last time he was in the ER for his asthma, I swear it's a monthly occurrence that he is in the ER for his asthma; between him and mother with the flu the beginning of this year I don't know who has spent the most time in a hospital. I'm starting to get annoyed with the boyfriend's primary doctor and the way he treating the asthma.

I'm still pretty stable on this medication combo, I haven't felt any anxiety with this new job and I haven't slipped into depression since he upped my Seroquel dosage. I also haven't had any sort of Hypo feelings. I'm just scared that is all lurking ready to attack, even though my T says I'm stable and that I seem to be on the right combination. I just don't want anything to ruin my happiness or my employment.

Hugs to everyone

[Nammu]

Voted too. Twas an excellent time to go there was almost no wait, the line was fast and smooth and went right to the voting booth. Now comes the hard part, waiting to hear. Plan to watch Colbert live tonight that should ease the pain.

[Blueberrybook]

Saw the T. Pretty sure H has a sinus infection.

Adderall is making my sex drive fly through the roof today, either that or it’s hypomania. Adderall should have worn off by now, thought it was a 12 hour acting pill. So maybe stupid mixed. See pdoc tomorrow. Am going to ask about getting on an AD again. Have been depressed a lot lately (in spite of outrageous sex drive today).

[~Christina]

Voted ! In a very rural town it’s nice never a line !

Had some errands to get done.

Still Fighting the thoughts, Bipolar Bytch ..... you can cycle anytime now

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

I'm just scared that is all lurking ready to attack, even though my T says I'm stable and that I seem to be on the right combination. I just don't want anything to ruin my happiness or my employment.

You and me both! I can feel myself coming down from my big power/freedom thing, (just down to earth again I *think*) but we're heading into a time of year that is traditonally very problematic for me with depression. I CANNOT screw things up! And there's a potential disaster lurking that I've got to manage and *try* not to catastrophize over (so hard!) I just really, really need to keep my life as simple as possible.

I'm pondering getting a light box.

[Wild Coyote]

I am feeling hypo and am very irritable if/when anybody slows me down or gets in the way of whatever I am doing. I keep trying to not be aggravated. I finally gave up and went to my room where I won't hurt anyone's feelings.

I see the sleep doctor for a sleep consult tomorrow. I have waited a long time for this. I hope he has some truly helpful suggestions!

I hope everyone sleeps well!
Love to All!

WC

[Victoria'smom]

My head is loud. I'm trying to drowned it out with music. I took all my 10 mg of Zyprexa yesterday now all I have left is 5 mg. I'm scared at how much worse this is going to advance with a lesser AP. At least I'm on 200 mg lamictal. Sorry I'm thought jumping. I'm trying to be cohesive. I'm safe but I want

Possible trigger:

cut my tattoo out of my wrist

It's not helpful anymore so why not.

My husband will be leaving the state for about a week soon. We may or may not go with him. My son can't miss a day or he's dropped. IDK, Hud comes tomorrow and our house is a wreak. The complex came and replaced our floor at our expense. It'll all be in the December. I can't pay that much money. Well Christmas will such this year.

[beauflow]

How honest may we be? ... and mixed diagnoses with me... I don't seem to fit in any checkin thread, but I'll give this a try (maybe again?).

If I am honest the last week or two I have been extremely "hard up" so to speak... to the point that I am back thinking on a fantasy or.. ugh nvrmd. caught myself after about a half week I read on Obsessive Love Disorder, erotomania, and attachment disorder which I understand may not for bipolar but I am beginning to wonder if this for me is a sign of a cycle due to it is very reoccurring in life...
Like anything it's not 100% me but the beliefs that are so strongly felt and the fighting to find reasonable facts... it's hard to explain...
I questioned to myself "why do I do this to myself " and reminded myself, its not that I do this to me.. it's how I am

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

My head is loud. I'm trying to drowned it out with music. I took all my 10 mg of Zyprexa yesterday now all I have left is 5 mg. I'm scared at how much worse this is going to advance with a lesser AP. At least I'm on 200 mg lamictal. Sorry I'm thought jumping. I'm trying to be cohesive. I'm safe but I want

Possible trigger:

cut my tattoo out of my wrist

It's not helpful anymore so why not.


My husband will be leaving the state for about a week soon. We may or may not go with him. My son can't miss a day or he's dropped. IDK, Hud comes tomorrow and our house is a wreak. The complex came and replaced our floor at our expense. It'll all be in the December. I can't pay that much money. Well Christmas will such this year.

I still don’t understand why your responsible for the flooring , wasn’t it the apartment above you that flooded? Or did you guys cause the flood... sorry I don’t get that

Why can’t you refill your Zyprexa for higher dose ?

Can you just stay up tonight and clean since it really needs done? Give you something to focus on !?

Try holding ice if the urge to cut is strong , besides you don’t want to scar up some good ink

Stay safe

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am feeling hypo and am very irritable if/when anybody slows me down or gets in the way of whatever I am doing. I keep trying to not be aggravated. I finally gave up and went to my room where I won't hurt anyone's feelings.

I see the sleep doctor for a sleep consult tomorrow. I have waited a long time for this. I hope he has some truly helpful suggestions!

I hope everyone sleeps well!
Love to All!

WC

I’m sorry you are having a tough time with irritation and aggravation. Do you think it might have something to do with your sleep disturbances?

It’s so nice that you finally get to see a sleep doctor. I hope you can find some relief.

Thinking of you.

[Victoria'smom]

We didn't cause the flood but "prior damage" aka hole in the cheap vineale means we have to pay for it because it's not "normal wear and tear"

The PN has me on 5 mg. I was taking more because I'm doing ******.

We're going to have to but neither of us have the motivation to clean.

My husband is hiding the sharp objects because I told him my thoughts.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am feeling hypo and am very irritable if/when anybody slows me down or gets in the way of whatever I am doing. I keep trying to not be aggravated. I finally gave up and went to my room where I won't hurt anyone's feelings.

I see the sleep doctor for a sleep consult tomorrow. I have waited a long time for this. I hope he has some truly helpful suggestions!

I hope everyone sleeps well!
Love to All!

WC

I am sorry you are feeling hypo and irritable. I hope things go well with the sleep doctor. Sleep well tonight

[TheSeaCat]

My cat, Demon is visiting the vet in the morning he just hauled off and bit the boyfriend and is now refusing to leave my side, which is kind of hard since I am trying to do school work. I think he is suffering some anxiety with me going back to work. I spent three months with him and I think he is heartbroken not to have me home, also my dad sent me a scary video of my cat just howling at my door while I was at work. I am truly terrified for my kitty. He isn't usually like this. He also hasn't acted this way with my other jobs. Why must everything happen at once. Huge medical bills and now a vet bill.

Hugs to everyone

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m sorry you are having a tough time with irritation and aggravation. Do you think it might have something to do with your sleep disturbances?

It’s so nice that you finally get to see a sleep doctor. I hope you can find some relief.

Thinking of you.

I am sure the sleep issues lay a part.
Thank you, Jennifer!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

I am sorry you are feeling hypo and irritable. I hope things go well with the sleep doctor. Sleep well tonight

Thank you, TheSeaCat.
I am sorry your kitty needs to visit the vet.


WC

[CrT0811]

Hey...

I’m new to this forum and being bipolar1 with rapid cycles and in my mid fifties. It’s been a real eye opener for me. On one hand, for my generation, bipolar was something the weird lady down the road had...we were all “normal”. Now...I’m the weird lady down the road. But, I have an amazing husband as well as two adult children who have basically reacted to my DX with a “Duh...ya think?!” So, I’ve got that going for me. Today was better than yesterday is always my goal. Tonight, though, I’m up dealing with Herve shocks in my legs and coming down from a six day manic cycle. So...no sleep for me.

I’m hoping to find folks my age who might help me navigate this. I decided to take a liquid lithium instead of the carbonate...I already have liver issues from years of not thinking I would live past the years of self abuse and my kidneys have not appreciated the abuse either. Lol. I am trying the natural route except for blood pressure meds, flexeril and neurontin. I take supplements as other mood stabilizers and so far, since the DX and the readjustment of lithium and new supplements, I’m doing better. I don’t have that every few weeks I need to just get in the car and drive until it feels right to stop. The hubby keeps me grounded. I’m a writer and an artist so I’m not even sure I have a left brain. But, all in all...BP has been a genuine watershed moment and I just need to get acquainted with being able to look at my past and see all the cycles throughput my life and make plots on the graph where I self destructed and rebuilt. If I can get some sleep, I will, hopefully have an even better day than I did yesterday. Anyway...I hope everyone here is coping enough to say the same.

Galaxy research has come to a halt. I haven't been able to conjure up another galaxy warp. The one I saw before had disappeared and now it's not back anymore. I know my phone can bring up a galaxy warp, but it's not working.

I think my meds mess with my ability to conjure up these things. They make me foggy headed and don't allow me to concentrate on galaxy warps. For the sake of my research, I think going off my meds is more important. So today marks the day I am not taking my meds anymore. I don't like them anyways.

I've not been doing well for a good month because of stress. Though I have good hours many days, other times I've been struggling.

Last night I became hostile in an adult school class I had been taking. I never wanted to take that class anyway. Hubby forced me into it. After five classes, I finally learned that the start time was 6:30 pm and not 7 pm, like I thought. I always wondered why I seemed late and everyone else seemed so dammed early!

The instructor had been rough on me almost every class, but in the beginning I was amused. But not last night! I won't even elaborate on this, but I turned very inappropriate. When I got home, leaving after only 30 mins, I sent the school a cancellation notice for the upcoming related class. Instead, I'll take two flower arranging sessions and a Food Critic class. They appeal to me significantly more. I've taken the flower arranging before and loved the class and instructor.

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Galaxy research has come to a halt. I haven't been able to conjure up another galaxy warp. The one I saw before had disappeared and now it's not back anymore. I know my phone can bring up a galaxy warp, but it's not working.

I think my meds mess with my ability to conjure up these things. They make me foggy headed and don't allow me to concentrate on galaxy warps. For the sake of my research, I think going off my meds is more important. So today marks the day I am not taking my meds anymore. I don't like them anyways.

Do NOT quit your meds, bb. I don't like to say this because no one ever wants to hear it, but I care too much not to. You are doing not at all well. Please stay on your meds and give a call to your pdoc to get an adjustment, ok? Please? Much

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Galaxy research has come to a halt. I haven't been able to conjure up another galaxy warp. The one I saw before had disappeared and now it's not back anymore. I know my phone can bring up a galaxy warp, but it's not working.

I think my meds mess with my ability to conjure up these things. They make me foggy headed and don't allow me to concentrate on galaxy warps. For the sake of my research, I think going off my meds is more important. So today marks the day I am not taking my meds anymore. I don't like them anyways.

I hope you'll reconsider stopping your meds. Yet, if you must, maybe consider a taper?

Blue, you have moments of wanting to stop your meds in order to do research. You then go downhill and need your meds. I am very concerned this might happen again.

I care very much about your welfare. Please be careful messing with your meds.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I've not been doing well for a good month because of stress. Though I have good hours many days, other times I've been struggling.

Last night I became hostile in an adult school class I had been taking. I never wanted to take that class anyway. Hubby forced me into it. After five classes, I finally learned that the start time was 6:30 pm and not 7 pm, like I thought. I always wondered why I seemed late and everyone else seemed so dammed early!

The instructor had been rough on me almost every class, but in the beginning I was amused. But not last night! I won't even elaborate on this, but I turned very inappropriate. When I got home, leaving after only 30 mins, I sent the school a cancellation notice for the upcoming related class. Instead, I'll take two flower arranging sessions and a Food Critic class. They appeal to me significantly more. I've taken the flower arranging before and loved the class and instructor.

It's usually no fun to take a class someone else wants us to take.

I hope you feel better soon.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by CrT0811

Hey...

I’m new to this forum and being bipolar1 with rapid cycles and in my mid fifties. It’s been a real eye opener for me. On one hand, for my generation, bipolar was something the weird lady down the road had...we were all “normal”. Now...I’m the weird lady down the road. But, I have an amazing husband as well as two adult children who have basically reacted to my DX with a “Duh...ya think?!” So, I’ve got that going for me. Today was better than yesterday is always my goal. Tonight, though, I’m up dealing with Herve shocks in my legs and coming down from a six day manic cycle. So...no sleep for me.

I’m hoping to find folks my age who might help me navigate this. I decided to take a liquid lithium instead of the carbonate...I already have liver issues from years of not thinking I would live past the years of self abuse and my kidneys have not appreciated the abuse either. Lol. I am trying the natural route except for blood pressure meds, flexeril and neurontin. I take supplements as other mood stabilizers and so far, since the DX and the readjustment of lithium and new supplements, I’m doing better. I don’t have that every few weeks I need to just get in the car and drive until it feels right to stop. The hubby keeps me grounded. I’m a writer and an artist so I’m not even sure I have a left brain. But, all in all...BP has been a genuine watershed moment and I just need to get acquainted with being able to look at my past and see all the cycles throughput my life and make plots on the graph where I self destructed and rebuilt. If I can get some sleep, I will, hopefully have an even better day than I did yesterday. Anyway...I hope everyone here is coping enough to say the same.

Welcome to the Bipolar Forum.
Please make yourself at home.
I hope to see you around the many forums.


WC

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Galaxy research has come to a halt. I haven't been able to conjure up another galaxy warp. The one I saw before had disappeared and now it's not back anymore. I know my phone can bring up a galaxy warp, but it's not working.

I think my meds mess with my ability to conjure up these things. They make me foggy headed and don't allow me to concentrate on galaxy warps. For the sake of my research, I think going off my meds is more important. So today marks the day I am not taking my meds anymore. I don't like them anyways.

Please, please, please rethink this and give your pdoc a call.