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#926
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I had a good Thanksgiving with family went out to eat nobody wanted to cook at all and I was sick of being the dedicated dish washer. So it was nice having everything prepared and having no cleanup. ![]() I went Black Friday shopping with my Aunt since there were so many good deals this year. I don't agree with her getting the 10 year old a smartphone for Christmas then again I didn't have my first smartphone until I went to school for my Associates Degree. I know times have changed but I honestly didn't get my first ever cell phone until I turned 16. Oh well I managed to get the girls marked off my shopping list. I also got out of explaining the relationship fiasco. I am meeting up with another work friend and she and I are going clothes shopping tomorrow and then I am taking the girls out to dinner and a movie. Hugs to everyone ![]()
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Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#927
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Had a great time seeing my family yesterday. Sometimes there is tension or stress, but everything was relaxed and there were good vibes! Got to see the niece/nephews who always bring me so much joy! We even had a cozy fire in the fireplace.
The conversation did turn to mental health with my aunt and brother, specifically how they both suffer from depression. It made me sad to see my brother is struggling and he confessed over the years his depression is getting progressively worse. I encouraged him to be proactive to seek help and warned him of my mixed episode med reaction in case he has the same. Fortunately SSRIs helped numerous others in my family--aunt, grandma, sister--with depression so I am hoping he has a type of depression that can be treated relatively easily. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123
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![]() Sunflower123
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#928
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I bet your son was happy to get a kindle. How old is he?
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
#929
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I have to say it really sucks when you have a sibling struggling. I don't think my sister is BP, I guess she could be with the boyfriend of the week exchange in college until she met her now husband her last year there & they have been married longer than I have (mine is 14 yr), but I've never heard of her having episodes of mania beyond that. She could have hypomania though; there are definitely some things she goes way above & beyond, and I just wonder about it...how long it takes her, how perfect it is. I hope your brother is responsive to the SSRIs as well.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
#930
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Next year, I am going to make her take it to school. She doesn't right now. But next year, we live close enough to the 6th grade school the bus won't take her. There is basically our street, the end of it (about a 2, 3 minute walk), A crossroad, then the school. That way she can text that she made it safely. I just know she would not want me walking her to school when she is out of elementary school.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() TheSeaCat
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![]() TheSeaCat
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#931
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We didn't do much for Thanksgiving. I warmed up a small spiral ham and glazed it with honey sauce. We had ham sandwiches on rolls. But I think everyone was fine with it. In the afternoon, a cleaning bug hit me, and I cleaned a lot in the master bedroom, even areas I couldn't remember the last time I cleaned them.
I still feel hyper today. Got about 5 hours sleep. Need to try for an afternoon nap. Not sure if it's skipping Lamictal accidently, semi-normal me, or hypomanic me. I think maybe a bit hypomanic. I am thinking about working on cleaning out some of my clothes though my bottom underwear drawer has sex toys in it I do not want my daughter to see. It would be just my luck she'd get fascinated by my going through my clothes & want to watch or help. Maybe get the toys out of there and hidden on a high shelf in my office while my daughter is in the bathroom or otherwise occupied.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() beauflow
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#932
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Worked half a day today. Doing a few chores here and there this afternoon. Will probably get take out and chill this evening. Struggling with some negative thoughts. Anxiety, low self-esteem type BS.
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![]() Anonymous45023, beauflow, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123
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#933
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() liveforsummer, TheSeaCat
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#934
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I bagged up all the clothes that don't fit me anymore and stored them in my closet today. I have practically nothing left. Oh well, not like I wear anything but PJs anyways. I hate how much weight I'm putting on. Hate.
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![]() Anonymous45023, beauflow, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#935
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Spikes, my family dr prescribed metformin for me when I was gaining too much weight on clozapine. It stopped the gain and I was able to lose everything I'd gained plus 20 more lbs. with diet and exercise. Might be worth asking about; the weight gain is tough.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
![]() liveforsummer
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![]() Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#936
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And yep, I was right. Daughter drawn right to my underwear/sock drawer. I did get the toys put in a different spot but had to do a little fast talking on some lingerie.
The good news is my underwear/sock drawer is organized (no more stray socks!) as is my PJ/workout clothes drawer though I somehow managed to lose a pair of grey sweatpants I had at the start of that drawer. Not in the donation bag, not in the trash bag. No clue where they went. I am always losing stuff. Finally found my nightguard yesterday after nearly a week without it. (Buried in dust bunnies way under the bed. Did a Listerine soak on that after the water rinse.) I am 99% certain I did not imagine those grey sweatpants. Stupid BP. Because of it, I cannot be completely sure I have those grey sweatpants. Did I imagine them? Even mixed, I only rarely get away from the racing thoughts, which I think are the cause of my losing most items or thinking I have moved or used an item I have not. Or maybe thinking I still have an item I once owned because I know I did have grey sweatpants last winter. So frustrating!
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() beauflow, liveforsummer, TheSeaCat
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![]() beauflow
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#937
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I constantly lose things too ..
"how many hats have I made that I can't find so I make another?" (Crochet) ![]() I am doing ok..... still ping ball a bit. I wrote too much, be well all
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![]() "A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Charles Lamb
![]() http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da7StUzVh3s Last edited by beauflow; Nov 23, 2018 at 05:46 PM. |
![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#938
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My house is clean! Well minus the bedrooms... But I got the cleaning bug today: dishes, many loads of laundry, swept and mopped the kitchen, etc. Now Im watching videos on youtube about the history of Disney World. How much electricity they use, what they do with their garbage, what EPCOT was supposed to be instead of the theme park that it is.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() Guiness187055, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#939
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I messed up my meds AGAIN. Which is 3 times in 6 weeks. My pdoc is not going to be happy with me. First I messed up the math and lowered my klonopin way too fast and had to correct that. Then I missed a day of clozapine and almost took a double dose. Now I ran out of gabapentin Sunday and forgot to add the new supply to my pill box when it came in the mail. So I'm off that totally which is a long-term goal but not until after I'm off klonopin. So I'm going to get back on that although I'll start at a 400 mg dose and go up if it seems ok. No wonder I've had weird nightmares (although oddly I've been sleeping through the night better this week).
I can't believe I've done this. I'm so careful with my meds and very rarely mess up. I do not want to have to go back to supervision with meds. When I did that before it was because of suicide risk but I know if I'm not safe for any reason I'll be monitored again. I understand this but I hated it and don't want to go back to that. My therapist and pdoc are both going to be unhappy. Better get the gabapentin before I forget it again.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat
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#940
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BTW, my math skills suck now too. An "A" in university calculus, and I can barely do basic math now. I had a lamotrigine mix-up because places can't use the same manufacturer or decide to try a new one and mail order will use another manufacturer. I have 3 forms of lamotrigine 200 mg: large round white tablets, blue pentagons, and pink/peach caplets. Not one looks like the other. Picked up the Adderall today: now my 20 mg capsule (take 2 in the morning) is all blue instead of a brownish/tan color. It just keeps going on. Tizanidine they like to change between a couple of looks. Clonazepam 1 mg may be blue or green, etc., etc.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() liveforsummer, TheSeaCat
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow
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#941
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Saw pdoc. Zoloft increased and lorazapam changed to klonopin. I’ll proceed with the Z change but not the other.
Either way happy Friday ![]() ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#942
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Today was a very good day up until I got home. I saw my therapist this morning. He agrees he was wrong and that what he is seeing is long period of stability. I could have told him that. So Bipolar 2 is back on my laundry list of issues not that it was ever off in my book, he admitted he was bias to an extent and that he needed to learn more about the Bipolar 2 since it's apparently very different compared to Bipolar 1.
Went shopping with another PA friend, she and I went shopping and I spent a lot but everything is finally off my list and I can go back to stock piling my checks. I broke down and bought a pulse oximeter to have at home to see if the mediation is working the Cardiologist suggested getting one, it's even my favorite color. We also did coffee and she asked what the other PA and I are doing about our feelings. I honestly have no idea where to even begin with that so I said friends. She's like the whole office has a running tab of when you two finally hook up. My face was a lovely shade of scarlet. I took the girls out to dinner and took them to see Ralph Breaks the Internet is was okay about how I felt about the first one more geared to children but it was an alright movie. The girls were awfully clingy compared to usual. I came home to find that Demon had attacked father while I was gone and that his brother, Blaze had chewed through my thick headphone cord, I have another one but I'm still mad that he chewed through it. Hugs to everyone ![]()
__________________
Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#943
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What are some of the signs for you? Writing about your sex toys and lingerie, perhaps? If you are concerned about your daughter discovering your "toys," maybe clean that drawer when your daughter is at school? Please take care! ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123
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![]() BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
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#944
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I am very tired after a long, yet enjoyable, Thanksgiving Day. All went well. Pulled it off for 16 people. Had some help from my youngest sister and her partner. H helped, too.
It may take me a couple of days to recover. Love to All! ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25, yellow_fleurs
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![]() bizi, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, yellow_fleurs, ~Christina
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#945
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![]() bizi, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() bizi, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#946
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I'm here today, tired, a bit down.
I realized my pills were messed up today. They could have been messed up all week besides skipping the morning dose of lamotrigine. I re-fill the boxes on Sunday, so all I have to go by is today. I try to re-fill the meds when I'm clear-headed, but sometimes I just can't, and there are other times I think I'm doing just fine when I'm not. Spent a lot of the morning sleeping because I had taken Clonidine (a night med, makes me sleepy) in the morning. So frustrating.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
#947
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Well...a empty brain syndrome today. Got a notice my library books were due. The whole drive to the library I kept zoning out....oh yeah I'm on my way to the library! .....oh yeah I'm on my way to the library. It was like the fog invaded my brain today and turned me into Dory. Nothing to do with BP just a brain fart, I'll be fine tomorrow or maybe I should eat something nutritional. Kind of just sit here staring at nothing.
Funny aside, my cat was sitting on me, I'm just sitting here zoned out ( no radio or tv on cause I can't follow it) and start breathing as he breathes, copying his breath......he freaked out! Ha ha.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#948
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deeply depressed for much of the day, very little accomplished too.
was hot this afternoon so had to open my window to let in some cold air from outside (and some rain). I guess that was nice. nice because it was some fresh air without actually being outside but yeah.... nothing special about today |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#949
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![]() I have had my feet up, playing cribbage today. It's always nice to have you posting! I hope all is well! ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Sunflower123
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#950
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![]() Fresh air... I love fresh air! Please take care! ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Sunflower123
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