[hopeless2015]

So, deity check, went off the lamictal..why I don't f ing know..been a month, yep I can tell. I think its total, complete f ing ******** that I have to take these meds and only half *** be ok. **** this ****. I'm sorry you guys, o should be more supportive, but I'm stuck in my own dam head. I drink, smoke, gamble, lose my **** and start over. I was diagnosed at 45..wtf. is this really my life.

0

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm having a scary night. I am feeling paranoid about a relative who is staying next door with my mom. I have no basis for my fears although the relationship is really complicated but there's never been anything close to the threat I'm fearing tonight. I just want to sleep so it goes away but that's not happening easily. Oh well. I had a nice day with my mom today. We don't get to spend much time together lately because of her work schedule so that was nice. Hopefully my meds kick in fast.

the radio station I listen to needs to stop playing music by rod steuart

I know they don't know.. they have no way of knowing, but it's a massive ****ing trigger

I turn the music down so I don't have to listen to it, but still

4.5 hrs of sleep and I'm not tired. Damn. Not a good start to this Thanksgiving weekend.

I'm not looking forward to the day. It's going to be a nightmare, as usual. I just hate the day. It f***ing sucks for me, and perhaps for many of you as well.

I hope that everyone else has at least a halfway decent day, if not a really good day. I know holidays can be hard.

[Moose72]

I slept enough but woke up early for me: 5-something. Not tired at all. At least i wont sleep through getting to my mom's at 10.

[Faltering]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I didn't sleep well last night. My psychologist wants me to track my sleep. I'm starting to think I'm getting neurological symptoms. This morning I woke up shaking like crazy in my legs and hands. I've had other signs too. I don't know if it's from the lithium. If it is, it's not because the lithium is at a toxic level. I'm barely in the therapeutic range.

[Scooter9]

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the U.S.

I'm feeling really low today, body pains, etc. Just there usual downs and downs.

The Modafinil I started a couple of months ago is working but I'm just going from severely depressed to moderately depressed... no baseline yet. There are days where it's moderate and days when it's severe... today is a severe day (yesterday was too).

I think part of the issue is that the grief of the loss of my sister almost 2 years ago and a close relative 10 months ago is starting to catch up with me. We have been so busy this year managing an elderly relative who became disabled this past summer that I haven't had time to process anything.

Plus I have the stress of a new job and everything that goes with it ( politics, commuting, day to day stuff). It's a technical job too so there's that.

[Moose72]

I heard last night that my sister's father-in-law died. No details yet but this on the heels of me feeling distraught over the idea that my dad might die is really shocking and sad.

[downandlonely]

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US! It's nice for me because I don't have to spend time with family. I go to a potluck with a meetup group, and then we play games.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Faltering

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I didn't sleep well last night. My psychologist wants me to track my sleep. I'm starting to think I'm getting neurological symptoms. This morning I woke up shaking like crazy in my legs and hands. I've had other signs too. I don't know if it's from the lithium. If it is, it's not because the lithium is at a toxic level. I'm barely in the therapeutic range.

Lithium has been known to cause tremors. When I was on it my hands shook so bad I couldn’t understand my own writing. And I couldn’t do my jewelry making which is one of the things I did to cope back then. So for those reasons and more I won’t take lithium again. But lithium didn’t even help my mood at all so it was a bad med all around for me.

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US! It's nice for me because I don't have to spend time with family. I go to a potluck with a meetup group, and then we play games.

Nice. Have fun!

Seems I'll have the house to myself today (I live in a houseshare situation) and will just goof off and relax all day. Got some pizza shells, so I will throw sauce and a lot of toppings (alas, no cheese) on them (they're actually quite tasty). I wish those of you having a not fun day ahead could come over to hang out (though in reality I'm still sick, so that probably wouldn't be so smart, lol!).

Best day possible to all, whether you have a holiday or not.

I agree

happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate it

does anyone want to post about anything they are thankful for today?

[scatterbrained04]

Happy Thanksgiving! I slept ok but was still up at 4am. Made two dozen eggs worth of deviled eggs for later. Will be going to spend time with family. Hopefully my anxiety will place nice today. Love spending time with family but don't do well with being crammed in tight spaces with a lot of people.

Have several hours to kill before then. Trying to get motivated to get dressed and do something. Feeling pretty lazy and unmotivated lol.

[Nammu]

Green bean casserole is baking, just showered and then it's off to my sister's house for the day.

[beauflow]

Thanksgiving. Or happy Thursday

I had issues getting to sleep but I woke up early & pretty well rested ... have had a lot of thoughts and plans, not so much hurting myself but recklessness.. been safe.

I am thankful for a lot, to keep trying, for people I've met through out the years, humans that do share connections.
I am thankful to be trusted to watch someone's fur babies. I like these dogs, and some what believe they help a bit to see. It's an easy and purposeful job for me.

My ex wants to go to brunch with me today. .. he is following through it appears this year, he always means well. Some times Idk why he wastes his time on me , but it's because he does love me even if we didn't work out. I've had some people that know both of us mentioned that I probably am helping him out by breaking up... no one really thinks of me irl on this.

For years this has just been another day, used to work a lot , or go to exs parents ((which I found hard because they didn't want any help and not only that but there is baggage within their tribe like any, but idk I could "feel it" maybe just my issues))..
But this year I have vacation for the first time In 12 years and am thankful to have some days away while helping out someone else.
Still have had depressive thoughts but they come and go. Just like the hopeful and "I got this" thoughts.

I am looking forward to going to brunch, I hadn't even known there was actual brunch places, I may look into that next year.
I like the idea of a potluck meet up, that i believe DownandLonely mentioned...

[~Christina]

Happy Thanksgiving to all that applies too.

Happy Thursday

I hope everyone sets just a bit of time to see what we are grateful for today.

Could be something huge or something that feels like a tiny speck. They all matter.

We all woke up and that’s a plus.

Hug your loved ones.

Calories do not count today.

Hugs !

[Blueberrybook]

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the U.S.

We had Thanksgiving lunch with 3: H, my daughter, & me. I only did a honey ham sandwiches on rolls, all I was up to cooking.

I guess I'm thankful for not dying from the perforated ulcer I had on Valentine's Day (most of the time).

I am thankful I healed enough from that ulcer surgery to walk, run, vacuum, and carry cases of water bottles again. I am thankful to have healed quickly compared to many others. I am definitely thankful for no more stitches & especially no more staples.

Slept in today. Extra sleep is definitely a plus, especially since I accidently skipped some of my Lamictal dosages. (It's made me a bit manicky.)

[Moose72]

I'm grateful that there have been no fights today. I guess im remembering when I lived here at my mom's. Me manic and not knowing i am bipolar wasnt a good combo. But today everything is peaceful. Im grateful for my kids, good family turkey day and for naps when you got up 11 hours ago!

[Nammu]

I'm grateful my family gets along, we basically agree not to bring up conflicting opinions and stick to safe topics. Amazing how much there is to talk about....plus the dog show was playing in the background and we all love dogs...just differ on which are the best. I'm very grateful my daughter and her family is doing so well.

[Wild Coyote]

Long day; yet, all is well, for which I am very grateful!

Love to All!

WC

[Moose72]

I just got home and in bed (its 730 but i was up at 5). The neighbors are blasting music with a ton of bass and thats all i hear- rhythmic booming.

[Guiness187055]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I just got home and in bed (its 730 but i was up at 5). The neighbors are blasting music with a ton of bass and thats all i hear- rhythmic booming.

Neighbors are doing the same thing here. Thump thump thump.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

Neighbors are doing the same thing here. Thump thump thump.

I hate when that happens. We had some like that a few years ago, a couple houses down even. I wasn't sad when they moved.

[Sunflower123]

I had a nice Thanksgiving even with a chest cold and a sore throat. It was a lovely meal with nice fellowship. My brother did have a melt down but we got it under control fairly quickly. We’ll look into getting him help Monday.

My daughter is out running around tonight with her cousins. That makes me happy. I am happy, full and sleepy. I think I’ll doze til she gets home.

I hope everyone made it through okay. Hugs to all.

[wildflowerchild25]

I had a lovely meal with my in laws. It was really nice. No tension or rudeness like there always is at my grandma’s house. Just good people enjoying good food. And bonus, it was sixty degrees in Tennessee whereas it was only 29 in NJ. I lucked out on that one!

Tomorrow I think we’re going into the mountains to do some sightseeing. I’m hoping to take some good pictures. The last time we were here we went into the smokies. It was gorgeous. I think we’re going into Appalachian country tomorrow. Not sure though. But it’ll be fun.

Then the long drive back to the dirty jerz on Saturday. My son got a kindle fire for his birthday from his grandma so I’m going to download some movies onto it for him to watch on the way home. Hopefully that will keep him better occupied.