[wildflowerchild25]

I’m in another foul mood today. Very irritable. I don’t know if the weather has something to do with it. It’s warmish but rainy. I was supposed to put up the outdoor lights but it’s too wet out. I hope I get to do it tomorrow. I’m planning to go to the gym tomorrow to hopefully help me out of this funk. I picked up my trazodone so I should be able to sleep tonight.

I’m starting to think that the haldol was impacting my mood more than I thought it was. Ever since I dropped to 5mg I haven’t been sleeping and I have been alternately irritable and depressed. I’m gonna give it another week maybe and then reassess. I might have to go back up. Which wouldn’t be the end of the world I suppose. I was just really hoping to go off of it completely to lower my risk of TD. But I’m not going to risk another severe depressed episode. I just started my job; I don’t need to lose it.

I’m holding on to the thought of my date last night. That’s cheering me up. And I know talking to RS later will make me feel better too.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by nikon

i've been getting anger attacks for the past four or five days, and sometimes i've been nervous to be around people in case i can't control them. i've got a lot of work this coming week and not sure if i'm not looking forward to the stress, or looking forward to keeping busy.

today i ended up not meeting up with a friend when i was supposed to, because i was really tired and falling asleep, and now i regret it. i need to buy food but i am too apathetic to go to the shops.

I'm with you on the anger attacks. And they hit my family, people I care about and make them angry with me in turn. I really need it to stop. Maybe more mindfulness or relaxation exercises for the both of us?

[Blue_Bird]

I was able to sleep for 3 hours. Seeing my therapist tomorrow. Thankful for that. I have so much to discuss so I'm going to write down some stuff on a card to organize my thoughts for when I'm in there.

2 weeks left of the fall semester. Then I get a little over a month off!

[pirilin]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

We finally found a grave spot to bury my grandparents! They're going to be buried together.

We had placed them in temporary graves while we waited to find an actual grave site for them. I have no idea what you call those temporary graves. It's basically a giant concrete wall with empty "slots" to place a coffin. Then you seal up the "slot" with concrete once you slide in a coffin. You can keep the bodies there for a max of 5 years.

They look like this:

The cemetery is very full in general, so we had to wait a while to find a spot for them.

In Spanish culture, it is very common to have elaborate tombstones. For example,



That's from Cuba, but we're not cuban. It's just an example. But that's why we had such a hard time finding a gravesite.

That is el cementerio the Colon. With an accent in the last o.
Meaning Columbus is Spanish.
It is the one with the most marble in the world.
I know. I'm Cuban.
I doubt you'll find a burial site there.

Cheers.

[Hopeful Camel]

Have that horrible mix of depression and anxiety. Took a klonopin and am waiting for some relief. My spouse is pushing me to get back into therapy. I'm feeling incompetent in all regards...work, home life, mental health, you name it. Even making the phone call to a therapist seems daunting. I need to do *something*!

[xRavenx]

Thoughts keep going through my mind of the things that I haven't accomplished, which is causing me to have doubts in myself and in the future. I'm just trying to keep my mind occupied, although it's hard. Also, I have some medical issues going on where they haven't figured it out yet, but I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and have to call the doctor to make an appointment.... I get so sick of appointments!

[beauflow]

So far doing fair this day... it's not the afternoon yet where I am but I've been busy... I did wake up and almost started to break down .. did cry.. but told myself to straighten up. took my vitamins and oil. Made a delicious smoothie too...
Been busy with prepping smoothie makings so I can try to be smoothie drinker .

Apologized to my ex if I was too blunt last night. After I posted he had forgotten something and came back, I told him what I mentioned- reminded why we broke up.
I took him to get some cigs, as he is hung over. He is to spend time with his brother and family today.. trying to help him stay on track with that, with encouragement that he can clean up his place in time.

My living room, it just needs vacuuming.. I have been having issues with deciding what to do with a printer I own.. right now it's under the futon ((my couch ))... I may forget it.. I may donate it.. idk yet. I don't have a desk area , and dont really want one in my small apartment

[~Christina]

One of those days ~

I am having such a rough time doing my shoulder exercises daily to hopefully defrost the bytch but it hurts ( of course it will) and I skip a day , the work on it then skip.. quite the pattern

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

One of those days ~

I am having such a rough time doing my shoulder exercises daily to hopefully defrost the bytch but it hurts ( of course it will) and I skip a day , the work on it them skip.. quite the pattern

I know how that goes. I messed up my back years ago and had to go to therapy and do home exercises.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

One of those days ~

I am having such a rough time doing my shoulder exercises daily to hopefully defrost the bytch but it hurts ( of course it will) and I skip a day , the work on it them skip.. quite the pattern

I am so sorry! Frozen shoulders are so very painful to begin with! Defrosting them is also very painful and seems quite tedious. It also takes an extreme amount of pain tolerance, perseverance and patience to cope with a frozen shoulder!

I hope your shoulder decides to cooperate with the idea of letting up and with restoring the normal ROM!


WC

mostly a slow day with very little to do.

depression a bit better- actually for the first time in the past few days, I only thought about suicide for like an hour

had quite a nice evening too- food wasn't anything to write home about, but mood wise was good

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m in another foul mood today. Very irritable. I don’t know if the weather has something to do with it. It’s warmish but rainy. I was supposed to put up the outdoor lights but it’s too wet out. I hope I get to do it tomorrow. I’m planning to go to the gym tomorrow to hopefully help me out of this funk. I picked up my trazodone so I should be able to sleep tonight.


I’m starting to think that the haldol was impacting my mood more than I thought it was. Ever since I dropped to 5mg I haven’t been sleeping and I have been alternately irritable and depressed. I’m gonna give it another week maybe and then reassess. I might have to go back up. Which wouldn’t be the end of the world I suppose. I was just really hoping to go off of it completely to lower my risk of TD. But I’m not going to risk another severe depressed episode. I just started my job; I don’t need to lose it.


I’m holding on to the thought of my date last night. That’s cheering me up. And I know talking to RS later will make me feel better too.

I would wait it out a bit ... I’m in a shyt mood and it’s got nothing to do with Bipolar. Maybe your in the same row boat ?!!??

I’m glad you had such a enjoyable date !! Made my day reading that.

We are going to Florida to see the kids for Christmas so no decorations going up here. Which I am super ok with !!

Is your son chomping at the bit for Santa already ?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m in a good mood today and feel like myself again.


I’ve had pneumonia a few times and it was business as usual for me (I stubbornly refuse to slow down for physical illness) but whatever I just came through knocked me off my feet. The antibiotics took a while to kick in and today is the first day I feel like myself. What was it? I’ll be happy to get back to regular activities.


I’m going to work on the house today. It’s a bit messy. The two family members I take care of aren’t able to do much so when I’m down with an illness, things tend to pile up.


My brother still won’t leave the house unless I go out with him to protect him. I’m looking for solutions that would not involve going IP but it’s looking increasing like it will be IP. Don’t get me wrong...I would drive him anywhere, protect him and fight his battles forever but I must understand IP may be needed. I just worry about him.


I’m going to a Christmas concert tonight that I’m looking forward. Getting into the Christmas spirit. There’s a symphony performance December 16th that plays Holiday music and includes bells at times. Really looking forward to that and to some other Christmas events.


My daughter is going to Cumberland Island to camp for a week during Christmas break. There are wild horses and a great ecosystem. You can only get there by ferry. They’ll study the ecosystem and kayak around the island. The loving part of me encouraged her. The selfish part quietly screamed no, no, no. I’ve never been out of contact with her before. We talk and text several times a day and have trackers on each other’s phones. I hope she has a ball.


I stopped taking Trintellix. I thought it was weight neutral but I wanted to eat everything in sight and gained over 10 lbs. Can’t have that. Hopefully, I’ll stay stable until I see him on the 13th.


Warm wishes and hugs to all.

So glad your feeling better ! Pneumonia is nothing to play around with

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by pirilin

Went for a test drive of a new boat.

Light chop. 2 to 3.

Excellent weather for a boat outing.


I like it. I took it to 5000rpms. In chop.

Which in this particular boat is 36mph.

The ride was great. No water. Only a little spray.


If I had 58k, I would probably buy it.

I'm gonna try for zero down and 400 a month 'till the day I die.

Maybe they'll bite. If not, it was a great ride anyway.


Cheers.

Sounds like a blast !!!

Yolo .... get it if you can !!!!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am so sorry! Frozen shoulders are so very painful to begin with! Defrosting them is also very painful and seems quite tedious. It also takes an extreme amount of pain tolerance, perseverance and patience to cope with a frozen shoulder!


I hope your shoulder decides to cooperate with the idea of letting up and with restoring the normal ROM!




WC

Thanks !!

I hope it will cooperate very soon. I have little patience of late.

ROM would be amazing as it’s almost impossible to get dressed ! Cue “” jammies and T-shirt’s “” I can’t carry my purse on my left side and learned the hard way I can’t lift a gallon jug.

Always something eh ?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I know how that goes. I messed up my back years ago and had to go to therapy and do home exercises.

Did yours resolve and you were back to normal ?!

Originally Posted by ~Christina

One of those days ~

I am having such a rough time doing my shoulder exercises daily to hopefully defrost the bytch but it hurts ( of course it will) and I skip a day , the work on it then skip.. quite the pattern

I wish I had a magic wand for you, I really do....
Lots of I hope it starts unfreezing (and being less painful!) soon.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I would wait it out a bit ... I’m in a shyt mood and it’s got nothing to do with Bipolar. Maybe your in the same row boat ?!!??

I’m glad you had such a enjoyable date !! Made my day reading that.

We are going to Florida to see the kids for Christmas so no decorations going up here. Which I am super ok with !!

Is your son chomping at the bit for Santa already ?

Yeah that’s my plan, I want to wait it out and see if I can get through on my own. If it gets severe though I’ll have to go back up, I’m no good at handling severe depression as I’ve proven here several times

Yes my son is definitely ready for Santa to get here! I already bought most of his presents (thank you amazon) so we’re all set to go. Finished decorating the tree today, I just have to go out and buy more lights so we can plug the tree topper in.

Well, I just got off the phone with the insurance marketplace place. It is exactly as I suspected -- I am in no-man's land. I took the phone help filling out the application, because I really suck at doing that. (Plus it involves massive amounts of swearing, lol). When she ran my numbers, it came up medicaid. So she kept running progressively higher numbers, because it kept saying that. She finally hit a number that it didn't. I would need to make a LOT LOT LOT of money this month to actually hit that number. Not going to happen, not even close. (We're talking like 1/3 of my income in one month).

So now I've got to talk to medicaid and either appeal, or tell them to send me another rejection, then call the marketplace back.

What a p.i.t.a.. I have a feeling this is going to take a lot of time to resolve. They are working with completely different numbers and by a very large margin. Ridiculous.

I am pretty proud of myself for tackling it at all though. These things always get me highly wound up.

I am going to do something fun now. Must distract.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Well, I just got off the phone with the insurance marketplace place. It is exactly as I suspected -- I am in no-man's land. I took the phone help filling out the application, because I really suck at doing that. (Plus it involves massive amounts of swearing, lol). When she ran my numbers, it came up medicaid. So she kept running progressively higher numbers, because it kept saying that. She finally hit a number that it didn't. I would need to make a LOT LOT LOT of money this month to actually hit that number. Not going to happen, not even close. (We're talking like 1/3 of my income in one month).


So now I've got to talk to medicaid and either appeal, or tell them to send me another rejection, then call the marketplace back.


What a p.i.t.a.. I have a feeling this is going to take a lot of time to resolve. They are working with completely different numbers and by a very large margin. Ridiculous.


I am pretty proud of myself for tackling it at all though. These things always get me highly wound up.


I am going to do something fun now. Must distract.

Glad your jumping in and trying to get someone to do something right. Good job !! I’d be a cussing up a unbelievable storm.

Yes distract distract distract

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Did yours resolve and you were back to normal ?!

Yes.

[Lefty Seven]

Sohjin, Chuckle hut commander, talks to me through the walls, but only about hockey. There's Wi-Fi in here.

[yellow_fleurs]

Went thrift store shopping with my friend today. Didn't find anything but it was fun!
I slept something like 11 hrs on top of my 4? hr nap yesterday. Yikes. And ready for bed already. I think the seasonal depression caught up with me.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Had an absolutely wonderful time on my date! The garden was absolutely gorgeous and it was so nice walking through with a wonderful man by my side. I already feel super comfortable with him, like I don’t have to work hard to impress him. We had a nice dinner afterward as well. I feel so warm and fuzzy inside!

He’s going to come over next weekend to watch a movie with me. I truly can’t wait.

I ate dinner with no problems and now I’m super tired from walking around so hopefully I’ll fall asleep and feel better about eating tomorrow.

That's great to hear! I love gardens

[Unrigged64072835]

Finished the sanding/painting/cleaning up for the appraiser's walkthrough tomorrow. I might run the steam cleaner over a couple of spots in the living room before she arrives. I just hope this goes okay so we can get the home equity line of credit and put this whole debacle behind us.

Also have the holiday lights outside. Just need to do the tree, probably Tuesday.

Christmas gifts have been ordered. Need one more for my husband.

I see my doc tomorrow. My right knee has been acting up again, and my abs hurt if I stand too long. Then they hurt if I sit down. Rather frustrating, but don't know what to do other than more muscle relaxers and physical therapy.

Calling it an early night. Hope everyone feels a small bit of peace.