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#551
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![]() I hope it continues. ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
#552
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__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#553
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Problems with the ED, too much running. Selectively taking too little Seroquel some nights on purpose. Feeling a bit manicky. Medical insurance is still not figured out, so who knows when I will see a pdoc again? Though I do have an appt. Jan 24, may have to pay full price out of pocket and he is pricey because of actually having a decent reputation in an area where many pdocs do not. Glad the appt. is awhile off, pdoc didn't care for my weight at 100, 101 lb. Think it might be less. And his scale weighs 5 lb. less than mine, the PCPs, the dermatologist...maybe he sets it like that to account for waterloading or other ED tricks even though he is not an ED specialist per se.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() Anonymous41462, BeyondtheRainbow, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#554
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Hello everyone nice relaxing Saturday for me. My jaw is feeling a little better obviously the stronger antibiotics are killing whatever infection I have at least I no longer want to cry in pain so something most be working.
M came over and we've spend most of the day in my bed cuddling and watching movies since my jaw is still just a little tender and I can't really enjoy dinner out. It's very nice just cuddling someone; I really like spending time with him and it feels like each time we hang out we learn something new about each other and it's just really nice his arm wrapped around me; my head against his chest. We also took a little nap together which felt really nice. Best of all Demon really likes M and he hated my ex; it's like he could sense the ex was not a good person; but he just loves M; he has rolled over and let M go to town rubbing his belly and Demon rubbed his face against M's cheek which is what he does to me all the time. So he's got the cat seal of approval. My roommate is also out on a date today so I keep waiting for her to get home so I can know how her date went. I'm happy she's finally getting back on the dating horse and she couldn't be out with anyone nicer. Hugs to everyone ![]()
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Generalized Anxiety Disorder Depression Symptoms of PTSD Trintellix 10mg once daily Buspar 10mg three times daily |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Nammu, pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123
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#555
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I understand not wanting to go back into hospital. 25 mg of seroquel is only for sleep. It is not a dose that can deal with psychotic symptoms. Is that the only AP you are on?
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BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
![]() pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#556
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Finally saw my therapist yesterday. Yesterday was also a very productive day for me. I went to Walmart and did the laundry. To me, that is being productive. Today was a lazy day. I even took a nap. I never usually take a nap. It's okay to have a lazy day every now and then, I guess.
I'm sorry I'm not making more of an effort to have a conversation. It's the social anxiety and the fact that I'm still fairly new here while some of you probably have known each other for a long while now. |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, pirilin, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#557
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Someone told me you posted something to me. Sarah ... thank you You were really unwell back then and things just got out of hand.... I hope your doing well ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() cashart10, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() cashart10, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#558
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#559
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So glad you are feeling better. I think your feeling better is probably a combo of things not just this or that , which a good thing ! RS sounds like a great guy. Enjoy !
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#560
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To cold too cold TOO COLD !!!! I don’t know how you can stand it. Cold weather ramps my PsA and Fibro all to hell. It’s in the 20’s here and I’m covered in blankets drinking coffee. Glad you had a nice lunch , what a great tradition ![]() I’m glad you found a new Pdoc that is helping and understanding. Having to talk about some past stuff would be triggering ![]() I’m so sorry your struggling with depression and “ why should I care?” Kinda feeling / thinking. It’s a shytty place to be. Things will improve of course it just sucks when we get so low we look up and can’t see the light. I think of myself often as a mouse in a tunnel and grass has grown over the hole, eventually the grass will get cut and I can find my way out. Many hugs and gentle hugs ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() liveforsummer, Nammu, pirilin, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#561
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Lots of physical work today. Got the large bedroom cleaned and moved most of the stuff we planned on moving. Hope to do the rest tomorrow.
May have to look for a new large freezer. Will know more tomorrow. |
![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#562
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Pretty much slept all day which felt great .... but I did clean and make dinner finally.
Whole weekend is nothing but grey and raining , yuck !
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, pirilin, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#563
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Today was up and down. I got asked out by a guy so that was nice. He's not appealing so i won't go but it was still nice to be asked. This is the worst time of year for me so i'm trying not to worry when i get down. Perhaps the Wellbutrin is still working and without it i'd be sawing at my wrists. I got up early, showered, exercised, took my dog out, studied for Scrabble and ate three meals and one snack, all at home. So a pretty good day, just plunged into negativity for a few hours after dinner. I just sat quietly in the dark and it's passing.
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![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#564
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Snowbound. I made the mistake of thinking I was going to go someplace today in my car and I got stuck in three different places in my apartment parking lot and had to enlist help to push my car back into its spot. So... that was fun.
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"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Litany Against Fear (Dune) |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, TheSeaCat, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#565
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![]() Many of us have a lazy day(s). You are doing just fine with posting! ![]() I can recall when I was new here. I'd felt like I didn't belong and like it was difficult to get to know people. Keep posting/interacting and you will soon feel more comfortable about having exchanges with people. If you EVER feel isolated here, for any reason, please let us know. We will help. It's great to have you posting! ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() liveforsummer, Sunflower123
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![]() MissDenim, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#566
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![]() I need you at my house to help in motivating me. Sounds like you are getting a lot accomplished. Good for you! Don't overdo it and get into more pain. ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() liveforsummer, Sunflower123
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#567
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It sounds like you are doing quite well overall. It's nice to have you back here posting! ![]() ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous41462, liveforsummer, Sunflower123
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#568
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Quote:
![]() ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() liveforsummer, Sunflower123
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#569
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Well I woke up too early this morning. I needed another hour or so. Will try again tonight and see if it levels out or gets worse. My 'bad thoughts' are on high this morning, but I feel a little more energetic. My son hardly texted with me yesterday. He moved out to his new apartment over the previous weekend. It's pretty ideal. Just a 5 minute walk to work and he is sharing a 2 bedroom 2 bath apt with a friend. I helped him move. He was sick the past week but managed to get into work each day, even though he was coughing and even vomited once. But he didn't answer my few texts yesterday. I've rekindled 2 friendships with people I had lost contact with. One of my friends had a stroke in the meantime.
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BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#570
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I have started writing a book. I'm about 50 pages in so far. I think it'll end up being 150 pages or so.
The book is technical, it's aimed at new to intermediate people in astronomy. I like writing for that audience. I'm doing this because I have learned so much and don't really have anyone to share it with, so why not teach someone? I'm also doing this to maybe create some motivation, something to stick with and nurture. This depression I'm in has taken so much away. I have to do something. I'm going to make the book freely available for a few months and then start charging for it, so maybe it'll be enough to buy me coffee for the month ![]() I have written other non fiction books in the past and it's nice to be able to do it again. Those books did pretty well and it was cool to see my name on a book in a book store. The difference this time is that I'm doing it alone so there are no deadlines, word counts, or editors breathing down my back to churn out the book as quickly as possible. But if things work out, I'll finish the book this month unless I get really busy at work and I'm too tired to work on it in the evenings. Ideally I'd like to finish it before my mother's surgery in February since I plan to dedicate the book to her. You never know what can happen and I'd like to be able to show it to her before her surgery. I never got to show my sister the photo I dedicated to her before she passed away.
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in 2016. |
![]() Anonymous45023, beauflow, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() beauflow, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#571
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Hi all! Freezing cold here but sunny
![]() Got a new mattress, now I really don’t wanna get out of bed in the morning. I’m still working hard to stick with my regular sleep hygiene. Down to 7.5 mg zopiclone from 15mg and doing ok. The next hurdle is the hardest. I’ve gotten down to a quarter of the 7.5 mg tab in the past but couldn’t bear the lack of sleep and the depression it fuelled. Anyway, I’m ever hopeful. Hugs hugs and more hugs to everyone ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#572
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My DNA came! I'm 32% German 29% Norwegian 14% English 3%Scottish and various others, let's see,....Swedish, Baltic states, Eastern Europe so the verdict is whiter than white. The stories of their being Native American on my father's father side are just that stories. Must find out what my grandfathers real name was when he imagrated from Norway cause can't find his parents. But the Norwegian traces back to a specific town! It's all so interesting. No famous people, my people are farmers and woodworkers. Salt of the earth types.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
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#573
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Great day. Was looking for a letter from years ago early this morning. Couldn’t find it but ended up looking through every single possession I have. Burnt a few hours and now I know exactly what I have and where it is.
![]() Tried to occupy myself with writing, reading and TV after that but needed to get out and be social. Just couldn’t stand being trapped in a box alone with so many thoughts and no one to talk to. Thankfully my ex-husband, who also has Bipolar (probably the reason we can’t live together), was free. We are great friends now. Divorced six years ago. He gets me do it was great to be able to rant away and not get strange looks. I have been doubting I have a serious mental illness, never alone Bipolar 1 with lots of bonus features. He told me he has no doubt I have had it as long as he’s known me(16 years). So another person confirms it yet I still can hardly believe it, and if it’s true I feel if I analyse it, tear it apart and figure out what caused it for me I will be able to recover. Well my mind is still dancing but I’m happier today. Even with all the confusion and endless chatter. No sleep will find me tonight. It is 1.30 am and I’m wired. Just lying around smiling. Can’t wait to hit the beach when the sun rises and go for a swim. It’s my happy place. Sending joy to all who need it.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Nammu, pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#574
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Doing on here. We had about 7 inches of snow Friday/Saturday so been doing a lot of chilling. Had to get groceries Friday after work since we were out if everything, that was crazy with the storm coming lol. Anyway, pasta efagoli cooking and kicked back in the recliner for the day.
Hugs to all ![]()
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() Anonymous41462, Nammu, pirilin, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#575
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What a neat and very worthwhile project! It's very touching that you dedicate your work to family members. Thanks so much for sharing. ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() tecomsin
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Closed Thread |
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