[hopeless2015]

Wtf am I awake..its 1:30 am....********!!

[hopeless2015]

And now its 2:30...yeah

My pet parrot has not been himself since last night. I really hope he starts to recover soon. If not, we'll have to take him to the avian vet. I don't know why there is always something wrong with him days before our vacations. Usually it's an eye issue, but this is more concerning. I asked hubby to stay home, but he said to just call him at work if our parrot seems to be worsening. Hubby has a short day on Fridays during the summer. He wants to try to get through the day, if possible. The vet is always traumatizing for our parrot, as is having medication administered.

My parrot is pretty much all I'm thinking about. We have workers doing something on our roof (we live in a townhouse with association). That is annoying and invades my privacy. It also scares my parrot.

[bizi]

I hope your parrot is ok today.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

And now its 2:30...yeah

I kept waking throughout the night too cause it's so humid out. I put my glasses on this morning and they immediately clouded over my face was so hot.

[wildflowerchild25]

More dreams about self injury not quite as triggering as that one yesterday afternoon but still triggering. I hope they stop soon. Maybe after we’ve been here a few weeks and it’s clear RS isn’t going to leave me. I think that’s what this is about.

I've been so ****ing bored today

seriously apart from eating breakfast and showering, I have had nothing in my skedule

I've been sat here in the darkness for most of the day (not through depression) through the fact I'm alergic to bees and it's very sunny outside- perfect weather for the little blighters to come find me

just checking the site quickly before dinner (takeaway yay.)

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

More dreams about self injury not quite as triggering as that one yesterday afternoon but still triggering. I hope they stop soon. Maybe after we’ve been here a few weeks and it’s clear RS isn’t going to leave me. I think that’s what this is about.

Wildflowerchild,
I am so sorry you are being plagued by these dreams. I hope they end soon!
Thinking of you.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

My pet parrot has not been himself since last night. I really hope he starts to recover soon. If not, we'll have to take him to the avian vet. I don't know why there is always something wrong with him days before our vacations. Usually it's an eye issue, but this is more concerning. I asked hubby to stay home, but he said to just call him at work if our parrot seems to be worsening. Hubby has a short day on Fridays during the summer. He wants to try to get through the day, if possible. The vet is always traumatizing for our parrot, as is having medication administered.

My parrot is pretty much all I'm thinking about. We have workers doing something on our roof (we live in a townhouse with association). That is annoying and invades my privacy. It also scares my parrot.

I hope your parrot recovers quickly and without having to see the vet.

[Wild Coyote]

I am totally exhausted, depleted.
In severe whole body pain.

This whole situation with "separation" with H and with all which has been discovered since asking him to leave, is just sickening an way too much!!! He continues to not take responsibility for anything. Itsbeen a nightmare, with the police involved and more.

Anyone touched by this (except him) is also sickened and struggling. It is THAT toxic.

I have asked for a break from him. He had ignored this and has tried to bully me some more. I just keep sending him the same text, asking for a reprieve.

The authorities have not yet closed the case re: the remote attack on the computer, taking ALL of the files... Along with the files iI have found hidden in the C drive, with a lock on them. It's all nuts!
I have been totally blindsided by it all.

After 4 weeks of it, I am VERY ill. Can barely stand/walk. Every medical condition is flared.

My elderly mother is also very ill from all of this. Very worried about her.
I explain this to him and he keeps trying to bully me anyway. : (

Wild Coyote, I'm thinking about you and sending a virtual hug. I hope you do soon get a reprieve from the extreme stress you are going through, so you can begin to heal. I wish your husband knew that he would even be doing himself good by staying away and letting you move on. He needs to move on, after this situation.

[Sunflower123]

Wild Coyote - do you have any way of blocking him even if only on a temporary basis? You and your mother are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you get a break from this nightmare soon. Thinking of you.

[Moose72]

WC, as nightmarish as your situation sounds, it also sounds like you have it under good control. I hope you take comfort in this, even as your stress and worry continue.

[tecomsin]

WC, can you go no contact with him and only communicate through divorce mediators?

[Wild Coyote]

Thanks, everyone, for the support and suggestions.

After awhile in this nightmare, it can be difficult to see and to think clearly. It can become impossible to see options. Thanks for your understanding and your support.

One of the problems is we own other property together. The property needs to be sold. Before it is sold, the work needs to be finished. I have asked him to buy me out; he won't. I cannot buy him out. This means we have to work together. This is the part he fails to understand: "working together." We have to get this asset ready to sell.

His demeanor has totally changed. He is clearly not the "nice guy" I had thought he was. The "discoveries" I have made date back at least 14 years. He has not been a nice guy during that time;yet, he had hidden that from me. I cannot imagine living a "double life," what a headache!

Right now, he has said he has been trying to get an upper hand in the divorce. Can you imagine saying such a thing? I can't. There is no "upper hand" in a "no fault" state. I keep telling him this. People might as well cooperate because the law is very clear and it always goes back to the law in the end. The very best lawyer in town can only get you the same 50% you would have gotten without the lawyer, except now one has a lot of lawyer fees.

He is acting VERY AFRAID of whatever is on the hard drive of the computer. He keeps ranting that "someone is trying to set him up!" Who? He has no idea. This is because nobody is trying to set him up. He keeps after ME about it. It is out of my hands.

He lies and lies and lies, until I start thinking I am "crazy." This tactic, by the way, is called "gaslighting." (I am VERY shocked with the lying! I have never known him to lie; I was blind. He gets very indignant and is a believable liar.)

I need a break!

It has gotten so out of hand this past week, I had asked him to contact me only for emergencies. We can/have set up phone meetings to discuss other matters needing attention, like the finances, etc. (We are still sharing some joint accounts to pay the bills.) So he keeps texting and leaving messages asking if we can talk? I again send him the text, telling him I need a break and will only take urgent calls. I have stopped responding at all for now.

I could get a restraining order. The police keep asking me if I want one. They have been involved twice already. I really need to be able to talk with him about property, etc. I also need to be able to be present at our property at the same time, if need be. It's very important to max the profit on this asset.

I have not had an attorney, as I have been hoping to complete the divorce via mediation. However, if he does not back off in a hurry, I will retain an attorney.
I have been hoping for a somewhat amicable divorce, if possible. I don't like the guy, now that I know who he is. Yet, this is a no fault state and I could blow a lot of money on legal fees and not come out any better financially. In the meantime, I have to pretend I can stand him... just enough to get by. (I am VERY honest, so "pretending" is VERY difficult for me.)

We have been "best friends" for 27 years; but the moment I had let him know I had found him out, via finding files/videos on the computer, he had immediately started treating me like I had been an enemy for life.

It is all crazy-making!

I think I will continue to not respond to calls/texts. If he insists it is urgent, I will pre-screen via text, asking him the topic of his call. I did that earlier today and he went away.

If I continue to decline in health, I will have to retain an attorney. No choice.
I can now see I have been dissociating some this past week.

Thanks again. You are really helping me a lot. I am thinking things through as I write. Your responses help me to think about options. Our interactions help me to not feel so "crazy." You also make me feel loved!

Much Love and Gratitude to All!

[bizi]

oh my darling.
I feel so badly for you....wish you could be done with him but know that this will take time.
I think screening his calls is the best thing to do. He may also like the sound of your voice. IF that makes any sense....

I wish for a speedy resolution of your property, selling and such.
hugs to you today
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

oh my darling.
I feel so badly for you....wish you could be done with him but know that this will take time.
I think screening his calls is the best thing to do. He may also like the sound of your voice. IF that makes any sense....

I wish for a speedy resolution of your property, selling and such.
hugs to you today
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi bizi! Thanks! You may be onto something. I have been the only person able to quickly calm him down. So, he likely does not have anyone helping him in that way. Makes total sense! Despite all he has done to me, he still looks to me for comforting. sounds right, bizi.

[Moose72]

Despite all he has done to me, he still looks to me for comforting. sounds right, bizi.

RUN from this! Worse is if you went to HIM for comforting.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

My pet parrot has not been himself since last night. I really hope he starts to recover soon. If not, we'll have to take him to the avian vet. I don't know why there is always something wrong with him days before our vacations. Usually it's an eye issue, but this is more concerning. I asked hubby to stay home, but he said to just call him at work if our parrot seems to be worsening. Hubby has a short day on Fridays during the summer. He wants to try to get through the day, if possible. The vet is always traumatizing for our parrot, as is having medication administered.

My parrot is pretty much all I'm thinking about. We have workers doing something on our roof (we live in a townhouse with association). That is annoying and invades my privacy. It also scares my parrot.

I hope he’s back to his normal self soon quickly. I’m glad your taking him being off his food seriously. I had a Macaw years ago that I lost to a odd infection. It was devastating.

[~Christina]

Oh WC

What a horrible mess this has become for you

For all this to be going on for at least 14 years would just be so hard to wrap your head around, my heart aches for you.

I think you are right about setting up specific times that you will speak to him is very much the right thing to do. This will allow you to make note of things that needs discussed.

One idea you might want to try is via text lay down some rules that you have regarding his behavior during these calls that will cause you to simple hang up. If he raises his voice, or brings up that someone “ setting him up” nonsense. His denial about anything you have proof of. Simply hang up and do not respond to any text or calls for X amount of days or even a total week. I think he needs to learn that while he fooled and lied to you for years he no longer can control anything when it comes to you anymore.

I understand not wanting to pay a Lawyer..... which is why suggest setting strict ground rules would be of benefit. He is harming you deeply on both the mental aspect and physical also. Both of which you will have to repair which will take who knows how long.

Take whatever steps you need to protect yourself while dealing with him. If he doesn’t like it .. too damn bad.

Your always on my mind

[sadveiledbride]

Have a migraine and feeling ****** about myself. I should really be sleeping right now.

[MidnightManiac]

I'm trying to not swing downwards today. It's hard...although it's a beautiful day and I'm grateful fo the su shining and all that, I feel....insignificant and unwanted. By tonight who knows. Might feel all powerful and invulnerable again.

My husband and I took our sweet parrot to the animal hospital at 5 am. It was a bit of a drive. He's there in their ICU. They told us to go home. I was crying for an hour and a half straight. When we got home my husband started crying. We want him to recover so badly. He's only 2 1/2 years old.

[hopeless2015]

Heading Texas Roadhouse for lunch with family. My Mom is 74 today!! If I can be half the woman she is, I'll be doing good. Shes one hell of of lady.

Hugs to all