[fern46]

Wander, I am so sorry you have to go but I am grateful you will be safe. I hope you are able to find some sense of peace there. You are so very brave and we are all thinking of you and sending thoughts of healing and love.

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

That’s ridiculous! Has she done this in the past?

My sister has to have her way 100%. So if I disagree with her about something, or there is just a hint of disagreement, she will triangulate by going to other people to tell them how horrible I am. She has done this my entire life. Triangulation I mean, and not accepting that i can have a different view on something or make a decision she doesn't agree with.

I try to stay as much away from her as humanly possible because i am afraid she will try to get me hospitalized. And yes she has called the police and had them do wellness checks before. That is almost certain to tip me into instability because i find it very threatening for police to show up at my door.

She just has to have her own way and any disagreement with her is a sign in her mind of mental illness. Now she is roping my son into her drama to ruin my life.

today I had a pannic attack at 3 A.M in the morning

I also was (and still am) in a lot of fibro pain from my shower

plus: my cupboards barely have any soda in them

big issue!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Only got 4 hours of sleep so I'm pretty tired, I think a med my doctor has been trying to get approval on (I've been taking samples the past 3 months) was possibly approved, it says it's in process and being filled, will be ready today. I really hope so

I hope the med is very helpful to you!

[fern46]

I saw my therapist today. I only see her once a month now. We talked a lot about my mother and whether or not I want to make an effort to spend time with her now that she has moved back to my state. We have been estranged for many years and only started talking a bit over texts just recently. She did some pretty terrible things to me which caused us to part ways for a while. She was dealing with the aftermath of a psychotic break and pushed me out of her life. I think I understand her a little better after experiencing my own break. Maybe it is time to start again. I'm torn. I miss her a lot and I wish my kids had another grandmother to spend time with.

[Misery Business]

Originally Posted by Wander

Saw my pdoc. I’m packing now for IP starting in two hours. He seemed relaxed about it. I’m a **** ing mess. I don’t want to go there, but I am far from safe. So far I just don’t care. I really don’t think my pdoc gets this. My mind is panicked - chaotic - planning. I am too many things at once.

Wander, from you post I image you are in IP treatment right now. I know it is hard as I was there just over two weeks ago. I was scared and not in a safe place after having a Flashback that led me to becoming extremely erratic and not safe towards myself and also my family. At the time I wasn't thinking it was the best for me, but surely coming out just this past Monday it certainly was the best thing I could have done for myself and my health and safety. In the end you will look back on this and a hurdle that you jumped over and will will then move forward. Right now work on getting better.

[Wander]

Being 'chemically restrained' from leaving the hospital so can hardly type. See my pdoc for official intake later this morning (1.30am now). Everyone has been really nice but I am still afraid. What can I do? I am too drugged to find my way out never-a-lone take action.

[Misery Business]

Originally Posted by Wander

Being 'chemically restrained' from leaving the hospital so can hardly type. See my pdoc for official intake later this morning (1.30am now). Everyone has been really nice but I am still afraid. What can I do? I am too drugged to find my way out never-a-lone take action.

I understand you are afraid. Please know you are in a safe place though and the people around you are there to help.

[Nammu]

Pookyl I missed your post, somehow. Have a wonderful trip. May it go smoothly.

[Wild Coyote]

Dear PC Friends,

Thanks so much for your acceptance and your support during this very trying time of my life.

My apologies for the times I may have acted "out of character." I do not know if I have done so, or not. My apologies anyway.

My relatively recent situation has not only been shocking to me, it has been full of triggers, causing a lot of inner turmoil, flashbacks, dissociation and more. I have been hoping to get stronger with each passing day. It's going to take some time, I think.

I deeply appreciate your patience and your support.

Much Love and Appreciation ~

[Misery Business]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Dear PC Friends,

Thanks so much for your acceptance and your support during this very trying time of my life.

My apologies for the times I may have acted "out of character." I do not know if I have done so, or not. My apologies anyway.

My relatively recent situation has not only been shocking to me, it has been full of triggers, causing a lot of inner turmoil, flashbacks, dissociation and more. I have been hoping to get stronger with each passing day. It's going to take some time, I think.

I deeply appreciate your patience and your support.

Much Love and Appreciation ~

You are an awesome person and have been a huge support to me.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Misery Business

You are an awesome person and have been a huge support to me.

It's been my pleasure to lend support!
I am very impressed with the way you have been able to handle difficult situations, as well as with the way you have been taking care of yourself while also giving to others.

I am thrilled you are a part of the PC family!!!

[Cornucopia]

I agree with Misery Business, WC

Never have I ever read a post you are not being supportive and caring, even when you struggle.
You are a very strong human being, loaded with good values when it comes to being there for others.

Take care of your self as well And use this forum to get some support back- one day we give and one day we receive That’s the beauty of it. We are not jugded for having a tough time, people are so supportive.

Lol, I keep saying I’m not emotional, but sometimes my eyes get warm when I read the posts in here- it is truly amazing how open-minded and including people are with eachother.

[fern46]

WC you were being honest and you are very supportive. Try not to worry. You have so many other pressing things going on. Keep being your fantastic self and the rest will work itself out. Your character is respectable and we are all fortunate to have you around.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Dear PC Friends,

Thanks so much for your acceptance and your support during this very trying time of my life.

My apologies for the times I may have acted "out of character." I do not know if I have done so, or not. My apologies anyway.

My relatively recent situation has not only been shocking to me, it has been full of triggers, causing a lot of inner turmoil, flashbacks, dissociation and more. I have been hoping to get stronger with each passing day. It's going to take some time, I think.

I deeply appreciate your patience and your support.

Much Love and Appreciation ~

All of your posts have been fine and I second all of the above posters dear friend. I could not say it better. You offer support, positivity and compassion even while you struggle and I’m so glad you are part of the forum. I think of and pray for you daily.

With love and support

Wild Coyote, I think you are among the kindest, most supportive members here, and there are many wonderful members here. I am deeply sorry about what you are going through. Deeply sorry. Although it's terrible what situation you've been put in, and we'd all rather that you be happy and well, we are more than happy to support you. We want to give back to each other. Giving back support and encouragement is as welcome as receiving it.

Wander, please don't be too scared. Will you have access to internet while you're there? If not, finding a friend is helpful. There are also other activities there that can help make such a stay a little more bearable. Art therapy? Dance or music therapy? Having time to meditate? They help many. As for "chemical restraint", I'm not 100% sure what you mean. Do you mean that you were forcibly given an injection with an AP or benzo? If so, you're definitely not alone. I have been given injections and sent (even dragged) to isolation rooms several times during hospitalizations. I know many can find them scary or even traumatic, but sometimes they can help with safety. Sometimes zoning out and calming down a bit is what we need. Sometimes a hospitalization can be a place for a reprieve, of sorts. If you ever feel traumatized or scared by anything at a hospital, I strongly encourage you to talk about it to the hospital doctor, psych nurse, and/or therapist. I know that "bad" hospital situations exist, but I think they are not really common. Sometimes our ill minds make situations seem worse than they really are. Please let us know how we can support you during this experience.

The good news, for me, is that my uncle's funeral services are over. The bad news is that my siblings and I were quite upset by my father's state. He is very unwell and his return to drinking is exacerbating it. Everyone seemed to know about his alcoholism. If they didn't, they witnessed inappropriate and odd behavior. It was embarrassing behavior. I mean more for him, though I'm not sure he was "with it" enough to really feel the embarrassment. I won't say my siblings and I were exactly embarrassed, but we were in distress about him and very very sad. The day was to mourn the loss of my uncle. So very often, my father manages to make some situations all about himself.

The service was handled nicely, for the most part. My aunt had a lovely idea of having my uncle's last harpsichord that he made brought to the service. She asked a friend to play a couple pieces, including my uncle's favorite Bach piece that he used to play. After the minister spoke, about 5 people stood up and gave short eulogies. My father stood up. Everyone assumed he would speak, but he said he was just standing for standing sake. It was highly peculiar! It seemed more like awkward lurking. Then he, out of the blue, said a short statement that was totally inappropriate. It was like "Ugh!!!!" to me. So much so that I, myself, stood up and spoke for a bit. I'm normally not at all fond of public speaking, but I did it anyway to try to save face for my side of the family. There were about 100 people there listening. Somehow I managed quite well and a number of people I didn't even know complimented my little eulogy afterwards.

I'm not even going to go into what happened at the post service reception/meal. Dad was horrible! Horrible!

As final words in this post, alcohol abuse is tragic not only for the abuser, but everyone who loves that abuser.

[fern46]

BirdDancer, I am inspired by your strength during such a difficult time. I hope you have an evening of rest and self care planned.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

The good news, for me, is that my uncle's funeral services are over. The bad news is that my siblings and I were quite upset by my father's state. He is very unwell and his return to drinking is exacerbating it. Everyone seemed to know about his alcoholism. If they didn't, they witnessed inappropriate and odd behavior. It was embarrassing behavior. I mean more for him, though I'm not sure he was "with it" enough to really feel the embarrassment. I won't say my siblings and I were exactly embarrassed, but we were in distress about him and very very sad. The day was to mourn the loss of my uncle. So very often, my father manages to make some situations all about himself.

The service was handled nicely, for the most part. My aunt had a lovely idea of having my uncle's last harpsichord that he made brought to the service. She asked a friend to play a couple pieces, including my uncle's favorite Bach piece that he used to play. After the minister spoke, about 5 people stood up and gave short eulogies. My father stood up. Everyone assumed he would speak, but he said he was just standing for standing sake. It was highly peculiar! It seemed more like awkward lurking. Then he, out of the blue, said a short statement that was totally inappropriate. It was like "Ugh!!!!" to me. So much so that I, myself, stood up and spoke for a bit. I'm normally not at all fond of public speaking, but I did it anyway to try to save face for my side of the family. There were about 100 people there listening. Somehow I managed quite well and a number of people I didn't even know complimented my little eulogy afterwards.

I'm not even going to go into what happened at the post service reception/meal. Dad was horrible! Horrible!

As final words in this post, alcohol abuse is tragic not only for the abuser, but everyone who loves that abuser.

Oh, dear! it can be such a challenge to live with an alcoholic family member.

My dad was a severe alcoholic. He was a terror. He would show up in the darnedest places and would make a huge scene.

When I was in high school, my boyfriend lived several miles away. He came to school, telling me all about this car that had crashed into their front fence and all about what his father had done, trying to keep the drunk driver from driving off. That was MY father. My parents were divorced and my boyfriend had never met him. I was so embarrassed, I'd never told my boyfriend that the drunken character was my dad.

I am sorry, Bird Dancer, not only about the embarrassment, but also about the tragedy of it all. It's such a challenge!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

My sister has to have her way 100%. So if I disagree with her about something, or there is just a hint of disagreement, she will triangulate by going to other people to tell them how horrible I am. She has done this my entire life. Triangulation I mean, and not accepting that i can have a different view on something or make a decision she doesn't agree with.


I try to stay as much away from her as humanly possible because i am afraid she will try to get me hospitalized. And yes she has called the police and had them do wellness checks before. That is almost certain to tip me into instability because i find it very threatening for police to show up at my door.


She just has to have her own way and any disagreement with her is a sign in her mind of mental illness. Now she is roping my son into her drama to ruin my life.

Oh god that’s terrible !! It makes perfect sense to stay as far away from her as possible.

I just don’t understand family members doing these kinds of things.

I hope your son knows what she’s doing is complete nonsense and hopefully in the future he can just ignore her.

She must have a miserable life to want to cause problems for others. Shame on her

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Only got 4 hours of sleep so I'm pretty tired, I think a med my doctor has been trying to get approval on (I've been taking samples the past 3 months) was possibly approved, it says it's in process and being filled, will be ready today. I really hope so

I hope your medication is approved.. is there something that could be added as a PRN for when you just not sleep much?

Life long insomniac here so I know how awful it can get

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Dear PC Friends,


Thanks so much for your acceptance and your support during this very trying time of my life.


My apologies for the times I may have acted "out of character." I do not know if I have done so, or not. My apologies anyway.


My relatively recent situation has not only been shocking to me, it has been full of triggers, causing a lot of inner turmoil, flashbacks, dissociation and more. I have been hoping to get stronger with each passing day. It's going to take some time, I think.


I deeply appreciate your patience and your support.


Much Love and Appreciation ~

Giant hugs!!!!!! I’m always here. Love you

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

The good news, for me, is that my uncle's funeral services are over. The bad news is that my siblings and I were quite upset by my father's state. He is very unwell and his return to drinking is exacerbating it. Everyone seemed to know about his alcoholism. If they didn't, they witnessed inappropriate and odd behavior. It was embarrassing behavior. I mean more for him, though I'm not sure he was "with it" enough to really feel the embarrassment. I won't say my siblings and I were exactly embarrassed, but we were in distress about him and very very sad. The day was to mourn the loss of my uncle. So very often, my father manages to make some situations all about himself.


The service was handled nicely, for the most part. My aunt had a lovely idea of having my uncle's last harpsichord that he made brought to the service. She asked a friend to play a couple pieces, including my uncle's favorite Bach piece that he used to play. After the minister spoke, about 5 people stood up and gave short eulogies. My father stood up. Everyone assumed he would speak, but he said he was just standing for standing sake. It was highly peculiar! It seemed more like awkward lurking. Then he, out of the blue, said a short statement that was totally inappropriate. It was like "Ugh!!!!" to me. So much so that I, myself, stood up and spoke for a bit. I'm normally not at all fond of public speaking, but I did it anyway to try to save face for my side of the family. There were about 100 people there listening. Somehow I managed quite well and a number of people I didn't even know complimented my little eulogy afterwards.


I'm not even going to go into what happened at the post service reception/meal. Dad was horrible! Horrible!


As final words in this post, alcohol abuse is tragic not only for the abuser, but everyone who loves that abuser.

It’s such a shame your father has gone back to his drinking but of course you expected as much.

I’m sure you pulled the service back on track, offering some closure for everyone and to yourself hopefully

It’s now time to focus on yourself , your in need of some special devotion to selfcare to process so much that has happened in such a short amount of time.

I’m here if you need me

[LadyShadow]

In really good spirits and feeling better than I have in a long time. I know everybody has struggles, but I think it's nice if we all post when things are going really well when our medication is working and hopeful for the future.

After all the darkness I've seen, it's nice to be in the light, be hopeful for a new future and happy in my relationship.

Sending prayers, hugs, and love to anyone who needs them - just remember, if today was total crap, tomorrow may be totally better.

[Sunflower123]

Today was really good. Dare I hope the medication is kicking in? I have experienced moments of happiness, joy and bliss. I took full advantage of this: I spent the day savoring the feelings, catching up with family and friends and writing a letter from my well self to my unwell self for future reference if needed.

I’m grateful. May there be many more.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.